You are Definitely Going to Hell

Knowing Mr. Peters will be home, I make my way home and do my own thing. Mum had given me the task today of putting the stew going. She will add the dumplings when she gets in at six. I have also been asked what I want for Christmas. This surprised me because I thought the car I was getting would be my gift, but my parents were adamant that it would be after Christmas. So my long list of one contains a Master system. Saga has come up with a new games console that looks better than anything else coming out. I can't think of anything else, and I'm sure I will get the usual trip to Fosters clothing store for my yearly clothing top-up.

This year has a slight tinge of sadness as well. It will be the last year that I will be treated like a kid. This is the one time of year when I don't mind being younger than my years and when my parents show even a moment's interest in me other than school.

I seem to be getting a lift into school most mornings at the moment. The days seem to be dragging by. It's Wednesday when I finally ask Mrs. Peters about our conversation days before.

"Mrs. Peters, you didn't answer my question about what you are going to teach me in these sex-ed lessons?"

She looks across at me, then stares straight ahead again. "Yes, you're right." There's an awkward silence for a minute, "I will teach you how to make your partner orgasm every time. I will show you where everything is, how to stimulate that area, and recognize all the body's signals. You will learn how to listen to the noises a woman makes so you know you are doing things correctly. When we are done, you will know how to please a woman and have her coming back for more." She looks back when we stop at a red light, "does that answer your question."

"Y-yes, thank you," I stammer. That caught me totally unaware. I stayed quiet for a moment.

"I think we will need to relax you before we start. If you are uptight, it will be like teaching a statue." She thinks for a minute. "What we will try is talk about what we are going to do more graphically."

"Like how?"

"Okay, don't freak out." She pauses for a second, trying to gauge if what she is about to say will have the desired effect. "Right, what I will do is tell you what each stage is, and I want you to repeat back what you are going to do to me. "Is that okay?" I nod but have no idea where she is going with this. "First lesson will be kissing. I'm not talking about eating eat others face off either. Soft loving kisses with tongues that are designed to make my juices flow."

"Your juices?"

"Yes, when a woman is aroused, her vaginal walls become wet and lubricated."

"What, like the precum, I get when I get hard?"

"Mmm, yes, roughly, I suppose. So come on, what are you going to do to me for the first lesson."

I pause for a moment, partly because I can't believe what I'm about to say and partially to work out what I am meant to say. "Our first lesson will be softly kissing with tongues to get your virginal juices flowing."

"Good," Mrs. Peters says, smiling at me. "Once you have mastered the kiss, we will move on to anatomy. I will be naked for this and let you learn about each part of my body. You will be able to touch me and see for real where everything is and what it looks or feels like."

I take a deep breath, "Once I have become a good kisser, you will strip naked and let me examine you. You will show me where everything is, so I know what it looks like and how it feels." Even after the second part, I saw that talking was getting easier. "I see what you are doing now. You are normalizing me to the idea."

"Yes, got it in one. See, you're learning already. Right, where were we? Mmmm, after we are happy with that, we can start on stimulating me." She changes tack a little, "how do you think you can do that?"

"Oh, umm, I guess things like sucking your nipples and fingering you?"

"Well, there's more to it than that. Like kissing the neck and possibly cunnilingus. You will be taught to listen to me as you go."

"What's cunnilingus?"

"Oral sex," she looks across at me as my eyes go wide. "Are you open to that sort of thing, or does licking a vagina not appeal to you?"

I sit there thinking; it's not something I had considered. "I guess I can always stop if I don't like it, right?"

"Oh god, yes, if you feel uncomfortable about anything, you can say no. Any sexual activity must be mutual, and that goes with anyone. Am I clear with that?"

I nod my head, "that makes me feel much better."

"Okay, we will have the same conversation, but increasingly more graphic." She turns to me again, "and why I think about it, can you call me Jill only when we are alone? I nod, knowing how challenging calling her Jill is.

The conversation is cut there when we turn into the school road.

On the way home, it wasn't long before Mrs.....Jill was talking dirty to me again. "So, Rob, what are we going to be doing on Monday?"

It takes a moment for my brain to click into what she is talking about. "Oh right, Monday, we will be kissing passionately using our tongues. Our goal is to heighten your arousal, making your vaginal fluids run."

"What else can you say to make it sound more......natural?"

"What do you mean?"

"Most guys don't say things like the vagina or vaginal fluids; it's too textbook."

"Oh, should I call it your pussy or cunt?"

"I don't like the word cunt; it's vulgar. You need to try and keep it less crass-like pussy. You call also use beaver or snatch, I suppose."

This is all a little surreal at the moment as I absorb what I'm being told. "Okay, so we will be snogging to make your pussy wet would do?"

"Yes, but a little more detail, but you're getting the idea."

We carried on all the way home, and for the rest of the week, she even got me to tell her how much I was looking forward to fucking her doggy style.

Mr. Peters was only sorry for a couple of days, and it wasn't long before the drinking started again. Friday night, I have a walking companion again. We walk in relative silence until we get to the top of the hill, looking over the town.

Sitting on the bench listening to the low hum of the Friday night traffic, Mrs. Peters turns to me. "Rob, are you okay with what we will be doing Monday and what we talked about in the car?" She is talking in a low voice just in case someone is within earshot.

"Yes, I think so. My only hesitation was your relationship, but the fact that this will help your marriage has settled my nerves. The added bonus is it will be like a lesson, so not just sex," I reply at a similar volume.

"That's good, but I want you to know that if it all becomes too much for you or you don't feel you can go through with it, then I will understand."

"That goes for you too," I say. "There again, I get to lose my cherry," I add before a comfortable silence takes over. We sit there overlooking the town with its orange glow. "Can I ask what happens if you don't get pregnant the first month?"

"I'm not sure; I think that will be for a later conversation." There's another silence before she adds, "more than one month will stretch the lies I'm telling myself."

"Is there anything I can do to increase the odds?"

"For next week, maybe the only place you can cum is in my pussy?"

"What, no masturbating?"

"It would help to avoid it just for one week." I pull a face, and she lefts out a laugh. "Why, how often do you wank?"

"Three or four times...."

"A week?"

"No, a day." Her eyes open wider.

"Wow, that's a lot. How hard would it be to stop?"

"I don't know; I've never tried. You do realize I will cum a lot easier if I've not knocked one off before."

"That won't matter; we will be doing it at least a couple of times a day."

"Oh, right." Silence falls again before Jill stands and waits for me to get moving. We walk back down the hill, with Archie staying closer than usual.

******

"Hey Ernie, are you on this planet or what?" Andy asks as we sit in the cafe across from the cinema.

"What A-hole?"

"We were asking if you're up to see Rocky next week?"

"Well, derrrr. You know I've been on about it longer than anyone."

"We know, it was the same with the breakfast club, and what a pile of crap that was."

"Oh, come on, when Simple Minds cut in at the end, it was classic."

"No, you just have a thing for Molly Ringworm."

"Ringwald, how many bloody times do I need to say."

"I like Molly Ringwald," Clive says from nowhere.

"What, oh for fucks sake. Are we up for Rocky 4 next week or not?"

"Yeah, or coarse," Nick and I reply at the same time. "Jinx," Nick shouts.

"How old are you?" Clive says a bit louder so a couple of girls waiting to be served would hear.

"Six months older than you," I retorted.

"Anyway, Rob, what is up with you lately? You seem to be in a different dimension."

I have to think quickly, but unexpectedly Andy comes to my rescue. "He's worried about Jenny Lake. Her freekoid of a father found their letters again."

"You're shitting me; when did this happen?"

"This is old news, didn't I tell you, Nick?"

"No, you flippin didn't." He says, looking a bit pissed.

"It happened when you were off with genital warts or something," Andy said a bit too loudly again.

"I had Glandular Fever, which had nothing to do with my balls, thank you very much." Andy and I just burst out laughing as Nick goes bright red as the girls walk past, staring at him like he's an alien.

"At least I've done things where I could get genital warts," Nick hits back.

"The pervy toilets in the park don't count," I say. The girls two tables away burst out laughing. We turn, and they go red, being caught eavesdropping. I recognize them from the ones that Nick was staring at when we were here last.

"Anyway, you dweebs, I need to get home," Clive says. "Mum wants to go over grans this evening. Clive's gran lives about twenty miles away near Folkestone down the 20, which is the catalyst for us all to leave.

I'm the last to get my coat on and walk out. As I pass the girls on the table, I see them looking, and I don't know why, but I say, "ladies."

"You're Rob Johnson, aren't you?"

I stop and half turn back, "I'm sorry, do I know you?" Looking at me with a nervous smile is a blond girl. She's around my age with freckles dotted on her nose. She has braces on her teeth, and her cheeks are quite chubby. The one thing that grabs me, though, is her eyes. They are deep green and draw you in.

"You walk my gran's dog, Archie, every night." She says, breaking my gaze.

"Oh, you're Mrs. Kean's granddaughter Charlotte, right?"

She smiles and nods her head. "Yes, but most people call me Charlie. These are my friends Sharon, Michelle, and Karen. I nod to each one as they are introduced.

"Well, Charlie, it was nice to meet you. I'll let her know I saw you, but I've got to shoot before it gets too dark. I've got no lights on my bike, and the police have already given me a warning."

"Oh, okay. Maybe I'll see you around?" She says in a hopeful voice.

"Very possible if you come in here most weeks," I say, not realizing she was fishing. "I'll see you around," I turn and make my way to the door. As I open it, I look back, "we're watching Rocky next Saturday, so we should be in here before at around three?" She beams back at me and nods her head. I returned her smile and left, not believing my newfound confidence talking to a girl. As I cycle home, it occurs to me that my conversations with Jill must have given me that extra confidence.

Sunday from the outside looks normal, but inside, my stomach is doing backflips as my mind races away at one hundred miles an hour. All I can think about is tomorrow evening. I start going through lists of what I should do. Shower and shave; make sure I clean my teeth at least four times daily. Make sure I have plenty of clean underwear. God, the list seems endless.

Looking out the window, I see Mr. Peters doing the washing up alone. It seems like he's still in the dog house with Jill over her rose bed. I figure that we won't be getting to the sex bit of our lessons until at least Wednesday, so Sunday is my last day for a good wank, and I am on my fifth before tea.

That night I shower and shave. Tick that off the list, I think to myself. I spend most of the evening in my room other than walking Archie. Mrs. Kean next door seems delighted that I bumped into her granddaughter on Saturday. I gather that she is in the same year as me but going to the local Polytechnic college. Mrs. Kean's only complaint is that she doesn't visit enough now she's older. I'm not sure I remember her visiting at all if I'm honest.

My walk up to The Ridge is a solo one, and there are spots of rain in the air. The wind is cutting right through my coat, so I do the zip right up to keep it out of my face. I sit there looking out at an orange haze that hangs over the town.

Sleep doesn't come easy tonight, I'm going to be taught how to kiss tomorrow, and I wonder what it will feel like to have a pair of lips touching mine. I close my eyes, thinking of Jill Peters' lips, they are pretty full, and I can't help think that kissing them will be just heaven. My mind suddenly has Charlie's face and lips looking back at me. I have to admit that her lips are similar to Jill's and wonder if I can use what I learn on her the following Saturday.

I drift off to sleep, thinking of a way I could get Charlie alone.

******

Monday morning dawns; I've been awake for an hour before my alarm clock was due to scream at me. I lay there not wanting to move; the house is quite cold in the morning. It's seven o'clock when I hear the front door close as my Parents exit. They both work in Dover and car share most days. I wait for my dad to start his car before throwing back the covers and sitting up.

I look through a crack in my curtains and watch dad back out of our drive. My eyes are drawn to the Peters' kitchen window that is lit. Mrs. Peter is there in her bathrobe. She glances up at my window, well, I think she does, and I drop to my knees, so she won't see me watching at her. I laugh at my stupidity when I realize there was no way she could have seen me anyhow.

I hear Mr. Peters leave as I am eating my Shredded Wheat. I make a deliberate effort to make sure I walk over at the usual time, trying and failing to look as natural as possible.

I ring the bell and wait, "good morning Rob, how was your weekend," Jill asks as she opens the door and walks back into the living room. I smile, marvelling at how natural she looks. As soon as I've closed the door and walked into the lounge, she's behind me, going through a list of things she needs to do before leaving.

I smile when she looks into my eyes after a moment of staring into nothing. "Good morning Jill."

She returns my smile, remembers something, and goes back into the kitchen. "Rob?" She calls out, "would you mind if we started the lesson this morning?" She says, walking out with a pile of books and her briefcase.

"No, but have we got the time?" I say, watching her put them down on the table in the hallway.

"Not a lot, but if it's okay with you, I would like to start the kissing lesson. That way, it won't be so weird tonight when we have more time."

"Okay, where do you want to do it?"

"In the lounge will be fine, the curtains are still closed, and no one can see in any way."

I put my bag down onto the floor, take my coat off, and she guides me to the dining table. I sit on the chair she has pulled out for me, and she sits down in front of me. "Now I know this is going to be weird to start with, so the sooner we can both relax, the better." I nod and wet my lips. "The first thing you need to do is relax, take a deep breath and try not to put too much thought into it."

She tries leaning forward for a minute but quickly realizes that we will both be reaching. Standing and sliding her seat back under the table, the next thing I know is she is sitting down on my lap. Putting her arms around my neck, we are now looking into each other's eyes. My heart is going so fast as I wait for her to make a move.

A slight smile comes across her face as she leans in and tenderly kisses my lips. I am a little disappointed to start with because I was expecting something more than a pair of soft, moist lips squashed against my lips. The first thought that went through my head was what all the fuss was about. The kiss only lasted for three seconds but felt so much longer. Jill pulls away and looks into my eyes to gauge my reaction.

"Well, that was a good start; you have very kissable lips," she says. "Now, the next kiss we should try with a bit of passion. It will start the same way, but if you follow my lead, I will try and show you how to introduce a bit of motion. One thing I will suggest is to try and keep that tongue of yours under control. Too much tongue can ruin the moment."

Again she leans in, and our lips touch, but her mouth is slightly open this time. The moment we touch, she closes her mouth a little and pulls back so our lips part. This time she doesn't pull away but repeats the motion. After the third time, I feel myself doing the same naturally, and I start to feel a tingle down below. We continue for a moment, just kissing like this when I feel her tongue just brush my lips. At first, I thought I imagined it, but then she did it again. The next time she did it, I touched her tongue with mine.

Her hand came up and slid down the side of my face oh so gently. She pulls back and says, "and that's the end of lesson one." Getting off my lap, Jill heads straight for the bedroom. She returns with her lipstick applied and her coat ready to go two minutes later. "Ready?" She asks.

I stand, put my coat back on and pick my bag up. We make our way out to the car and, in no time, are on the dual carriageway.

Jill turns to me, "well, that went far better than I thought it would."

"Yes, it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be."

"No, I was surprised how fast you caught on. What did you think of kissing?"

"I thought there would be more...I don't know. More to it, I suppose, it was nothing like you read in books."

"You realize it will be different with the right person?" She looks at me for a response. "Did you get any feeling from it?"

"Oh, what like down there?"

"Yeah, did you get aroused at all?"

"Yeah, it definitely had an effect."

The rest of the ride in was in silence for a change. There was no telling her what I would be doing to her. Last week had got quite graphic, and it seems to have had the desired effect.

I'm sitting in the canteen at lunchtime listening to Nicky and Clive talking about the girls in the café. They have realized that they are the same girls he had spoken with before. Well, if you count, "what are you looking at?" And "don't know the labels dropped off" as a conversation.

I wait for my moment to drop my bombshell. It's pretty funny listening to them plan a way to talk to them. I get my chance when Nicky says, "I wonder how old they are?"

"Same age as us," I say. Boom, all three are looking at me like they don't know me. So I continued, "one of them stopped me on the way out because she recognized me as her gran's neighbour."

"Please tell me it's the one with Archie?" Nicky says.

"It's the one with Archie," I say.

"And?"

"And, they might be joining us for Rocky IV."

"Might?"

"Well, nothing concrete, but they will meet us in MacArthur's before."

"Are you sure?"

"That's what they said, so yeah."

Andy then asks, "so what are their names?"

"Charlie is the granddaughter, and her three friends are Sharon, Michelle, and Karen."

I watch the guys sitting there, stunned into silence. I'm not sure whether it's shock or fear, but I'm finding it entertaining.

The rest of the day shoots by, and it's not long until we are in Biology. I don't know what I was expecting, but as I walked in, she gave me her usual smile of recognition, and everything was normal.