All Comments on 'You Can't Just...'

You used too many leptons and not enough quarks.

Should be in Romance, unless she actually was acting single while he was in the coma.

it bad I wanted the two main characters' names to be Scully and Mulder ?

Interesting and unusual story, thanks for sharing it.

It was just a little flash story. I had been talking with one of the other authors on here about a concept. Not so much cheating in and of itself, or even of amnesia.

It was of the concept of Love. It is something that is personal. If you have two people and only one of them loves the other, is it a relationship at all? Is Love simply a form of chemistry or mathematics? If you have a problem like -1 + 1 the answer = 0. At least numerically speaking.

I hold the beleif that even if you love someone that does not love you back then it simply is "Your Love." It cannot be taken away from you, unless you decide to let it go.

So I wrote this in only a few days. My editor is MIA, and I am loathe to get another. When I do he / she is going to have one heck of a backlog! =-)

Anyway...thanks for the comments and keep hitting me with them. I appreciate the criticism.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

Could have used more detail but in the end true love won out.

Well you had me going there for a while .

First , I thought him gay , yes interior design stereotype , Guilty .

Then , I thought it had to be something sinister in their past.

But , no . Just true weird love.

I enjoyed it .

5 *'s

P.S. the date with the assistant was kinda out of place.

I had a similar accident when I was young lad - lost a full half-day's worth of memory. I had biked to a friends house and was returning in the late afternoon. I was told by my dad that at the accident scene I was conscious and worried about my bicycle and its newly "Pringled" rear wheel.

I next "awoke" in the E.R. just as I needed to say the word "Ralph" really urgently into a hastily-positioned tray in front of my mouth - by my dad, who was standing right by my gurney. By "awoke" I mean that the cerebral database engine interfaces to the intra-cranial storage engines were reset and functionally restored following a service disruption and were once again logging life-experiential data into short and long-term memory. Apparently, I had tried to cranially dig out a part of the road surface when the car that popped over the hilltop that I was riding upward toward the crest of had caught my rear bike wheel which in turn impelled me to attempt the suddenly urgent and gravity-assisted cranial/macadam excavation effort. I was told the road largely (read that as: entirely) won the contest that round. The energetic nature of my excavation effort disabled the mental database-engine to storage-engine linkages for a while - a few hours, at least (yeah, concussions will do that to ya).

It is weird to think about how one can be somewhat "functional" and "alert", but have no ability to recall the events one "consciously" lived through. So, I can somewhat relate to the protagonist's memory issues, though to a far lesser degree.

I think the writing of his struggles trying to recall his past again were done fairly well (except perhaps for understating some expressions of frustration/anger I think would be reasonable and normal once the life-flight data recorders were running again for a while). Other than that little quibble, though, I really liked this Loving Wife story...and it is definitely a LW story because this wife had to express her Love in such a self-sacrificial way...to the point of hiding her marriage to her memory-muddled husband - going so far as to allow him to date someone else - all in the vague hopes of him eventually recovering who they were to one another and returning to her. It take some major mental stones to place that kind of emotional/mental/self-respect wager on your Love for one another to eventually win out the day. I admire the story all the more for telling the tale of THAT kind of Love. Full marks from me because THAT is one of the true hallmarks of what Real Love truly is.

usually means someone doesn't want you to. TK U MLJ LV NV

1*

First, yes this DESPERATELY needs editing! "Pole bearers?" It's "pall bearers!"

I can understand not rushing things, but to not say, "This is your wife Melissa," defies comprehension!

I don't buy the idea that "you can't tell someone they love you!" That would come with time. If, somehow, he couldn't remember, wasn't in love with her anymore, they could deal with it then. But as he said, knowing she was his wife probably would have triggered a whole flood of memories.

Sweet, seemingly simplistic....but what a strong message at its core. Love can't be 'told' but felt. If both parties feel it? Then you have magic.

I've always found it odd that some people believe that you fall in love and the rest of your lives together pass blissfully. Very few people seem to realize that it takes constant communication and adjustments.

Most LW stories I find sad and painful for both characters and commenters. Keep writing your stories payenbrant, they are welcomed by many.

Thanks for not throwing in a weird twist at the end. Good plot.

I liked your tale. I had a few major operations and it took time to get my

memory back. from not knowing where I was or what happened to me.

I did not know the people that were around me . Days passed and I put

things to gather. my feelings for people were dull and I am not sure if they

were ever strong or not.. guess you just had to have it happen to you.

I liked it. A bit quirky, but that's what I like about it. I enjoyed your writing style as well. Your sense of humor and attention to detail are excellent.

I hope you write in this category more often.

... but her love was that deep, she had enough faith to take the leap knowin she would be with her friend, her soulmate, her true confidante once he wanted to be with her.

She truly set him free, only to return if he wanted too.

very few people know somebody who could love someone that deeply, even fewer have ever experienced it.

Reading the story I thought just like @Crkcppr...This story could have gone to different directions...Then the final twist, and the happy ending...As @Crkcppr I think the date with his assistant "was kinda out of place"...The assistant knew he was married and who was his wife...Unlesse all had been agreed with the wife in order to have one more try to have his memory back...After all what brought it back was the almost accident with another car...A very good story...4*

thank you.

Great tale. Excellent writing style. I was engrossed from the first to the last page. So glad I decided to check stories today.

Wish I could give you more than 5 stars for this. I have never said that before.

Her reason for not telling her husband he is married to her is silly. Not romantic. He would have benefited fromt he information sooner, and it somewhat bizarre that she "tested" him this way to see if he truly loved her and felt the same way as before the accident.

I kept waiting for the infidelity shoe to drop. So glad it didn't. Nice story, nifty twist.

I gave this story a low score, because it is in the wrong category, and the author knows this. This is not the first time. This is disrespectful toward the readers.

a very good story loved the twist at the end

I gave this 5 stars because it is a very good story and it is in the right catagory.

Loved it. Anytime you post a story it's a red letter day. Now get back to "Yours...Mine"...I'm joking. Sort of.

Now holding out telling this man your his wife was beyond real. Letting him date another after 6 months in a coma. Go fiqure the unfigurable

Great story .... well written. As for category, I personally think that LW is open to all interactions between husband and wife so I am not gonna say it is in the wrong category.

Thanks for sharing!

Ahaz

You have an excellent writing style and the outline of this story is very good. I think that you should have taken a little more time and fleshed out the meat of the story. More info about the accident, more about Missy and why no one told him about being married, as well as more about the assistant. Also, I found it odd that they rearranged his bedroom when they were being so careful otherwise not to change things and let him remember on his own. Weren't they concerned that the different bedroom would mess with his ability to properly recall the past? These are all relatively minor points that make the difference between at 4 or 5 rating. I for one enjoyed reading this and other submissions of yours and encourage you to keep submitting stories. Not everything in this section Needs to be BTB or cuckold stories.

Excellent imagination and dialogue. I have to admit that I felt that Melissa did force the story by saying that Leslie was his girl friend. The fact that he felt his bedroom was missing something sort of gave away the twist. Thanks.

You CAN!

Before everyone jumps on you, one must understand traumatic memory loss. Six hours, six months, six years, and some things never come back, including your wife. It's strange that her lie started in the hospital, "We've been roommates." "I'm Mellissa Sheldon." She failed to reinforce the familiarity which, beneath the surface is a part of love. Moving out of the bedroom also killed the mood, as it were, and happens too often in these cases. I think every morning I wake there's someone with my name. If she tells me who she is after six years, I know she's my lover. That conservative part of America, reinforces Doug's hesitancy and he fails to acknowledge his feelings.

Another oddity is knowing he shouldn't have relationships with his employee. The way this plays out is a smooth way to find normalcy in his newly imposed infancy. Recognizing that he's starting over and needs to experience the full gamut of relationships before getting to the marriage may do much to rebuild. When one suffers traumatic memory loss, the parts of our lives that do filter through can be barriers. There's a belief in hypnotism that you can't force a person to do something that violates their moral code. I think the same is true in Trauma. You still know right from wrong.

In a way, I'm surprised Missy didn't divorce and remarry in the dark period. A justification for allowing Doug to date while rectifying the changes. Does one accept a partner has moved on, or does one carry that resentment and perhaps unbidden anger of depriving a partner of a new love? Ah, so many twists.

So, yes, this is a wonderful and intriguing tale and demonstrates the conflict within the injured as well as those around. Should you tell, or should you hold the truth back? Which impedes recovery?

A lovely tale of the human condition and realities.

What a good story! I only wish it was longer and more developed. I almost thought it was one of those tropes where the husband got amnesia and forgets that the wife cheated on him or something along those lines. This is much better. Please keep writing.

The whole premise (keeping wife's identity from him) makes NO sense.

This is a total piece of shit, can't believe I wasted time reading this crap.

Interesting idea but it just didn't work for me. She started lying to him in the hospital and the reasoning just doesn't make sense. It's edited well, the spelling and grammar are fine the story just does not make it.

Story...nice feel good tale. A pleasant diversion for LW. Got more?

Interesting take. Can't say I agree but praise is deserved.

How does the employee reconcile her dating him if she knows he's married? Is she that cruel towards missy that she would do that? I think I'd be pissed if I'm the husband. Keeping information is one thing, lying is another, and I would think harmful in his case.

Was something left out? Did I miss something?

Reread, still don't really understand why she or anyone else didn't tell him that she is his wife?

I think it's something that needs to be elaborated on a little more? A mind set, something from their childhood? Possibly the story from her perspective?

Really what wife wouldn't be overjoyed that her husband woke up?

Did she really just want to test bounds/limits of love or is there more to HER story?

I met a guy that suffered something similar; didn't remember his wife, only that she was someone very close to him. Took a little time to convince him that she wasn't his sister. Still has problems with some of his long term memories but, wedding pictures are usually a clincher.

Was a nice refreshing story from all the other travesties that find their way here.

5*

But then on a day when most of my favourite authors are posting crap as excuses for stories, I guess I shouldn't have expected anything else either.

In truth he had just come out of the closet before his accident. His wife was actually the driver but police never worked this out. She was relieved that she had not killed him, but scared he would remember. The head trauma either changed his orientation or he has yet to remember. I guess he is safe as long as he stays in that proverbial closet.

I definitely liked it. But the comments are a revelation. It's okay to not like it and it's okay to say that you didn't get it. I probably didn't "get" all of it myself.

But the commenters that reflexively dismissed it as a P.O S. either have no imagination or are barely smart enough to find their way to the bathroom when they

wake up in the morning.

New man in her life? , Divorced ? Some thing is missing.....

She was willing to give him up, rather than force something on him - that is true love.

5/5

Until the end. It is like you lost interest and left out details. Like how the other woman who worked for him, and I will assume was a good friend, would even go out with him knowing he was happily married. That part made no sense or the character development of her was lacking. There was not enough closure.... they lived happily ever after just does not cut it with a good story. Unless it was an assignment to keep it to so many words and you felt you ran over. So what I saw as a good story did not have a good finish. Like bad bourbon.

Automatic 1*

Read the category descriptions. There is NOTHING about extra marital in this. If you want to pollute the category I (and others) will give it the stars it deserves.

I very much enjoyed this sweet tale of a true loving wife. Thanks for sharing it. It was a breath of fresh air in the genre of late. Yes, it may have fit better in Romance, but I think it was needed more here.

Cog

But dumb as hell. She moved out of the room, lied to him about who she was and let him date another woman?

Bullshit!

Still very entertaining!

If you like cheating wives so much follow yours. Or thats right, you don't have one.

I love it when anon hates it

Sweet little happy poop. Good story. A fucked up retelling for this catagory would be awesome! You know, something like Dougs memories are gone for a longer period of time. He continues to date Leslie which drives his wife crazy with jealousy. In her pain and heartache chooses to sleep around trying to get a reaction out of Doug. He does notice and he's happy for her at first. Then, as memories start to return he starts to see Melissa in a different light. For some reason he feels like she's his, but realizes he can't have her. Melissa doesn't realize he's changing as she is being distracted by her dates, but does start in passing to tell Doug so events of her nights which starts him on a fantasy of her being highly sexual and restricted.

And so, it basically ends with Melissa dominating Doug as a sexual plaything assuming his memories are not returning in full. Months pass as these two go on with Melissa going insane with power over him, and during a wild night of group sex, as she's watching him and he's watching her, the last bits of memory floods his mind. Boom, he freaks out stuck in a cage while everything connects, and all while she's being taken by another dude. Thank you for reading this far!

This story was not too good, kind of hard to read and not too organized .

So I provide myself with an adequate reason for her to deny him the information that they're married. Thus. When he was injured, he was furiously riding away from her because he'd just found her in bed with another man. Now she's remorseful and wants her marriage back. The doctor had assured her the marriage would return to memory in time, habituated, without the single-instance knowledge of his betrayal, because that was too traumatic ever to return. His mind would block it, if she'll let him re-set his own mind. As she does. And they live happily ever after (until he again catches her and ... remembers?).

There are other possible reasons for her to deny him the information (e.g. that they aren't really married, but she has her own $$ reasons to want to subtly reshape his memory until he thinks they are) But you offer none. Which severely injures an otherwise not-at-all-bad tale.

If its legitimate to withhold his marriage status, then why not all other such details, such as his age, his job, his family relationships, his nationality? Why is it OK for his assistant to remind him who she is, but not his wife? This looks like another example of a story written backwards from the plot device, like the recently submitted story, "Its Just A Game." And all the details and dialogue and action are contrived to support the plot device, creating a stilted and awkward setup, reveal, and resolution. The reason the wife didn't tell her husband who she was, was because the author wanted to withhold that information to create the surprise ending. But its makes no sense for the wife character to behave that way, making the story lame and forced.

A good idea for a plot twist, but its needs a much better setup and justification.

Thanks for your effort.

Really?

You are the most boring person. Not only that, you don't know what the hell you're talking about. Look at the archives. Pick any letter you care to choose. Run down the list of scores. True, you see no scores there between one and two. You also see no scores between two and three. All scores are over three.

All one and two votes are considered fraudulent scores. There are 2 to 3 thousand people who will eventually vote on a story, if it's a good story. All but about ten percent of them dislike cuckold/swinging/sharing stories. They give those stories one or two votes. The ten percent give those stories five votes. There are a few smart voters that give them threes or fours.

As a result, when the "fraudulent" scores are discarded, those stories take a dramatic jump in scoring. Look at the stories in the hall of fame. Most of then have more than a thousand votes. Find the ones with two or three hundred votes and you will find the people who constantly complain to the moderators that they have "fraudulent" voting. I'mstillfun and Chloe Tzang are two examples.

Voters need to revise their voting habits. There are only three choices. Vote three for the really awful stories. Vote four for the stories that are okay and five for good stories. Those are the only votes that are going to count in the long run. Giving a bad story a one or two, actually benefits the story. It will look bad for a while, but as soon as the robot runs its little sweep, all those ones and twos will go away.

Wise up, people, and vote accordingly. You will know when the site runs a sweep because you'll notice that all the stories you voted one or two on, become like you never voted and you can vote again. It's too much work to go back and vote a one again on all those stories that were so horrible. Just start giving them threes. We'll all know that a story with a score close to three, really sucks. The really good stories will be between 4.50 and five. The administrators are playing us. We need to learn the rules and play them back.

A bit wooden in it's delivery, but I did enjoy it.

Thanks Anon , that makes things much clearer how these scores really work here.

Does it matter to anyone that I don't care a whole lot about scores...?

I like the comments more? =-)

I am surprised I haven't been called a cuck yet....or a...whatchamacallit...?

"Honey! ? Do you remember what that one Anon called me on here that got you laughing so hard?!

Oh! That was it. He called me a Panty Boy. Not sure what that is, will google it later. Will answer questions after work if I am able.

Thank you all for the comments so far, appreciate them all.

Yes please. Score how you feel! I would turn off the scoring if it got me more feedback but it seems kinda silly to do that. A score let's people know generally they like it. A 4-5 means it appealed to people. A 1-2 means people hated it with a passion or it pissed them off. I like knowing these things. So please, you won't offend me.

I do ask that you all quit trying to attack each other. It's not really seemly is it?

"Pole bearers?" Yes...I feel stupid! What can I say? It's a flash story that I should have edited better. Point made. Moment I get another editor I will get right on it.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

I kept looking for the big dark secret, but the truth was so much sweeter. Nice work.

And to pick a nit, it's "pallbearer," a single word. The pall covers the coffin, in military funeral the national flag. Thus, when it's covered by the pall, the coffin is carried by the pallbearers.

Very heart warming.!

Missy showed the ultimate love.

The old saying let it go and if it comes back it's true.

She only wanted her husband if he truly loved her truly.

or is it? Thanks for a great story. 5*

This is a good, well written story. Unfortunately it is posted in the wrong category. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop rather then a happy ending. Again, good story but my expectations were set differently.

loved the twist. thank you.

That was a fun trip and nobody got hurt (almost)

Hence it is in Loving Wives.

Nice happy ending- I like those. I kept expecting them to be bitterly divorced, and the date with his assistant was confusing and hard to explain. When we find out that the woman is his wife and there I sent anything nefarious going on, I went, "huh?". Did I miss something crucial? I read through the comments in case I was just being dense, but I guess it simply is what it is. Don't know why she'd move her furniture out and not explain she was his wife, but I accept the author's wishes. I have no problem with it being in this category. That way you can get all those great insightful and constructive comments from the anon trolls. Whenever I want to feel good about my fellow man, and have it once again affirmed that the human race is a noble experiment in progress, I just read what those dolts say and then start looking for a nice pit to build my bunker in.

I really liked this tale, and I'm with MattBlackUK. Loving wife puts it in loving wives, so thanks for placing it here!

Well damn, I was hoping for a new Mine...Yours chapter but this will has done nicely. For an amnesia based love story, it was tastefully and lovingly done. It was a tad predictable, but I think that enhanced the love and romance portion of the story. I actually liked the whole thing. Only one hiccup really ... pallbearer not pole bearer.

The part with Leslie was entertaining. Many a man or woman has been enamored with their boss. Especially if they are successful, well-off, and/or good looking. She saw an opportunity to get that physical setup and took it, even with the wife present. I completely agree with the layout of this story. Well done and thank you!

For the read.

Maninconn and MattBlackUK are correct: an enjoyable flash story of a truly loving wife. Thank you.

It's a lovely idea. You can't tell someone that he lives you...

However I'm missing a bit that he felt a certain strong attraction towards his wife, even when he didn't know about their marriage. Not a physical attraction, but an emotional. Or a mental one that starts deep and intense talks? Wouldn't that be to be expected?

It would be interesting for an alternate ending the boy friend is the one who ran him down etc. Just a thought. I liked it.

there, how's that for criticism?

i'd offer more, but i don't have anything to criticize...

enjoyed it, thanks for sharing, looking forward to more.

RA

well crafted. Most important were the parts left out. The ones we have to fill in on our own.

thanks

I have finally read all that I have found to read of what you have written and find myself feeling.... thankful. I don't consider myself a literotuca expert but at the same time I have recently found myself having read all that I cared to read here. I was sure that I'd read and seen it all and then I read your stories; and I found characters filled with honor respect commitment and real love for one another and it was just so awesome even inspiring. So thanks for the good stuff and I hope that a) you never stop writing as your sure to only improve and b) that life treats you better than this cold stale piece of pizza is treating me right now!

SC

I get tired of the usual crap in here sometimes. Thanks for the change of pace...

Very well written. I enjoyed the story very much.

The whole premise of no one telling him about the wife felt really contrived, and her stupid reasoning.

Hell, if he had any friends, they should have warned him about Leslie, her going out with a married man and taking advantage of his amnesia doesn't reflect well on her.

Loved the story, but I feel a bit like your character Doug... something just isn't quite right. Why was Leslie moving on to another company, yet was so eager to try and start a relationship with Doug when the opportunity presented itself? Was she moving to another job because she had feelings for him and Melissa had issued an ultimatum?

I kept thinking we were going to find out that either Melissa or Doug had cheated and were separated, maybe even divorced, at the time of his accident. I have to say that Leslie sure was a cold-hearted bitch. So thrilled to learn Doug was interested in her as a possible girlfriend - knowing the whole time that Melissa was dying inside watching it happen.

I'll tell you this; if Melissa had been my wife, she'd have given Leslie some head trauma that would make Doug's look like a mosquito bite. Loved the story. 5 stars, of course.

Great story and great storytelling!

and it sure beats tough love of any sort, TK U MLJ LV NV

Don't really get it.

keeping in mind that most experiments fail.

Cliff hanger, and I liked the ending. Thank you.

I thought there might have been an affair he didn’t remember. It would have added a twist to the story and made me more interested in the outcome!

A little different but ultimately her good story. Thank you.

It was a sweet story and a delightful alternative to most that we find here. Thank you for writing that.

The ending seemed anticlimactic to me. To withhold such a vital piece of information from someone trying to recover their memory seems unethical at best and downright evil at the worst. Regardless of any reason whatsoever. I can’t imagine any doctor going along with a scheme like that. It would seem like a malpractice suit looking for a place to happen. Yeah, I know it’s fiction but my imagination can only stretch so far.

Very sweet and a nice break from the usual stuff here. That's one of the reasons I really Like LW. Some times you just find a gem. Thanks. It was 5 * from me but board only would let my give it 3. IDKY Anyway 5*. Thanks for the read.

Treating me like that. It is neither sweet nor romantic. Just stupid.

It started off great, but jeez there where so many holes in the story that i felt like i had amnesia. There where so many ways this story could have gone, but it was like you got frustrated with the possibilities, you just wrapped it up. There was no real history to the why the wife would give up a marriage. There was nothing about the so called girlfriend, other than a kiss. The obvious answer was he has close to cheating when the accident happened, and the wife was willing to let go. Just doesn't ring true for me, love is a passion, like hate, just really didn't feel any passion.

So don't know how to rate the story

So avg 3 stars

I don't think I've ever heard of an instance where a doctor told the family of a patient with amnesia that they couldn't tell him or her they were married. Just seems like a weak plot device to hang the whole climax of the story on. As for Leslie, she had to know but I can excuse that as her being an opportunist who was infatuated with her boss and looking to muscle Missy out. Even still, it all just seems very far fetched. At the same time, it was anti-climactic. For all the build up and apparent secrecy, I was expecting some kind of dramatic issue to have been between Doug and Melissa, like one of them having cheated before the accident and not wanting him to remember. As a result I was left with an, "Oh, is that all?" feeling.

Decent start and build up, but it felt like this went nowhere. Sorry, decent 3* effort.

I don’t know quite where to rate this.

A 5 if the reader is supposed to be Douglas.

A 3 for all the holes the reader keeps running into.

Guess it’s a 4. I think.

any premise and it had some emotion to it.

maybe she cheated and she hoped he would never remember it

Loved this one :-) A

....thank you for your comment. I hope to hear from you again.

A very well thought out story, really believable as well, I think it's happened before so it's nice to get that lovely happy ending, some don't make it...

It's a pleasure to read it, definitely 5* :)

This is the LW section and I know something is not right. The way she kissed Doug implies something. The story is a breath of fresh air. 5 stars for your creativity