You Don't Have To Be Coy, Roy

I did my due diligence and liked what I saw. The two owners were pouring every dime of their personal money into a short animated film that showed a great deal of promise. Sadly, they were turning away business because they didn't have the capabilities.

In the end I bought a sixty per cent stake in their business, paying off existing loans and getting them the funding they needed to expand. I explained the buyout clause I always offered, and they surprised me, asking me to wait two years before we discussed it again. "That will give us time to look for a person to run the business end. In the meantime, we think you'll do quite well."

The business was fascinating. If Celeste got her show, I was going to be executive producer, even if I wasn't really sure what that was.

I grinned when I kissed her cheek. She was under a lot of stress trying to launch her show and she and Jack weren't getting along that great. "It's like he doesn't even miss me. We haven't played with each other, let along with anyone else, in quite a while. It's like he could care less if I'm around."

That set alarm bells ringing. Jack was the ultimate horndog. If he wasn't getting it at home...

I commiserated with her. "Jimi and I aren't getting the quality time we need either. I'm gone a lot and she's either working and tied up in rehearsals. I'm going to ask her to take a break and concentrate on us for a while. I'm almost done traveling and I'd like to revisit the children conversation. I'm 36 and I want to be able to chase them around when they come."

Celeste smiled sadly. Early on, she and Jack had decided not to have children. He'd been snipped and wanted her to have her tubes tied but she resisted.

"Great news," I said, thinking I could cheer her up. "PBS and Home and Garden Network are interested, plus The Food Network called and wants a meeting with us. Looks like you're going to be a star, honey."

She smiled but wasn't as happy as I expected. I didn't get to explain Home and Garden wanted a separate show focusing on farms and the food industry while PBS leaned more towards restaurants. She might end up doing two shows, crossing over materials where possible.

"Look, Roy, I need to prepare you. The show is about adultery, and originally included a bedroom scene about the cheaters' first time in bed together. I fought to have it cut, and thought I was successful until Cynthia told me she'd put it back in, just now. Please remember it's just a play and everyone is pretending."

Just the way she said made me realize this wasn't going to be a pleasant experience.

*****

I was more than correct. The production was well written, you could follow the angst, the weakening of wills. There were a few scenes where the man and woman were each on opposite sides of a darkened stage texting while the messages flashed up on an eight-foot screen behind them. Then came the secret lunches, the touches, the increased passion of their kisses.

The lead male was Philip, and he played well off Jimi. I had to wonder as I watched how hard it was for him, because it seemed to flow naturally.

The final scene was them consummating their relationship. As a cheap motel sign flashed at the end of the stage, the spotlight hit a king-sized bed in the middle of the room. The players entered from different sides of the bed. Philip, in his arrogance, wore a male thong. I don't think any women in the audience were impressed with his size.

Jimi strode onstage. For all practical purposes she may as well have been naked. She had on a sheer lacy red nightgown that just made it to her waist, and her ass, the ass I loved so much, was barely encased in a matching thong. You could see her nipples, and when she slid into the bed you got a great shot of her ass, the string disappearing between her cheeks. The lights went out as they reached for each other.

If they were expecting a huge round of applause they were mistaken. There had been a few gasps and then silence, before a few tentative patrons applauded.

Celeste had locked down on my hand and refused to let go. The lights went up and the people that knew me had a hard time looking at me. Jimi didn't even put on a robe as they took their bows, her nipples plainly visible every time she bent. I was beyond furious.

I looked at Celeste. "You can let me go now."

She held on tighter. "Calm down. Please, Roy. It was just a play. It doesn't mean anything."

"Did you see the same things I did? Let me go, Celeste."

She tried to hold on and I gently reached down and grabbed her little finger, bending it backwards until she had to either let go or hear her finger snap. She finally let go with a gasp, and I turned and headed for the reception area where the players made a point of mingling with the patrons.

Jimi was between Philip and Jack, still in her gown and smiling hugely. The women were either not looking at her or with barely concealed contempt. The men were just staring.

Jack had directed and they were basking in accolades when I stood in front of them. Jimi's smile faded when she saw the look on my face. "Get some goddamned clothes on!"

She ran backstage, leaving Philip and Jack. They were both smirking to beat the band. "Your wife is one hot..."

Whatever else Philip was going to say got swallowed when my fist met his jaw. I was big, pissed, and pretty strong thanks to Jodie, and I knocked him cold. Jack turned to run but I grabbed him by his long hair and dragged him backwards. "You asshole! You thought I would stand still for this shit?"

The smirk was back. "I don't give a fuck what you stand still for, asshole. Jimi was all for it, especially the extra 'rehearsal' time we put in to make it convincing."

He joined Philip on the floor. Everyone was standing around horrified, and I locked on to two of the Board of Directors. "You approved this shit? Fuck all of you. You'll get a letter Monday notifying the Board that I'm withdrawing my patronage, and that of any of the companies I'm involved with."

That shocked them. Between my personal patronage and my company's, it amounted to about 40% of their budget. They'd have to scramble to secure new patrons or the season would be in jeopardy.

They were trying to do damage control, saying the rehearsal they saw didn't have the bedroom scene in it, when Cynthia stormed up, screaming at the top of her lungs. "IT WAS A PLAY! NONE OF IT WAS REAL, YOU TROGLODITE!"

"So, it was a pretend version of my wife swapping spit and parading around practically naked? Gee, that makes everything all right. Just because you slut around you think every woman around you has to? Grow the fuck up and stick those worn out tits back in your dress. I don't think they impress guys like they did when you were thirty."

She went pale. Her breasts were obviously supported by a very good bra that practically shoved them in your face. You could just barely make out the edge of a nipple. Worse than the insult was the shocked look on her husband's face.

Celeste came up, gently reaching out. "Roy, please! Calm down."

I shook her hand away. "I thought you were my friend. You could have warned me, given me a chance to stop this mess. But you didn't. You think Jack is dicking her, don't you? Looks like ol' Jack wants to play solo now and leave your...."

I stopped, seeing the look of horror on her face. It was a pretty open secret in the guild, but the general public didn't know about their lifestyle and I almost outed them.

"Sorry, C..."

That was all I got out before I got tackled to the ground by a huge woman. She was easily six feet or more and had to weigh about 250. The way she felt as she took me to the ground made me think very little of it was fat. It turned out Philip had a wife. What a clusterfuck the night had turned into!

She popped me a couple of times and I'm here to tell you she did not hit like a girl. By then, the cops had arrived and she and I ended up in handcuffs. The EMT's were looking over Philip and Jack. Jack ended up with just a fat lip but it seemed Philip wouldn't be getting any speaking roles for a while because I'd given him a hairline jaw fracture.

It took them an hour to sort everything out. I was a local and supported the cops any way I could, and Philip was an outsider, so I got the benefit of the doubt. They got his wife to say they wouldn't press charges if I'd let her attack on me go. Celeste had left, supporting Jack as slow tears rolled down her cheeks. She was the only one I felt bad for in the whole sorry mess.

Jimi had first appeared in a robe, took in the scene and scurried away, coming back later in jeans and a tee. Her theatrical makeup was still on and she looked a right mess. I think raccoons would have been offended to be compared to her. I looked her dead in the eyes as soon as the handcuffs were off, yanking my shirt off and spitting on it before I threw it to the ground. She ran out of the hall crying and I didn't see her until the next day.

*****

I looked pretty odd walking into the all night Walmart in just a suit jacket and jeans, but it was really late at night and it was Walmart. I'm sure they've seen worse. I grabbed a couple of shirts and a pair of jeans, some underwear and socks. I had no intention of going home, so I crashed at a motel the next town over. My phone had been ringing constantly, so I put it on silent mode and didn't look at it until midmorning the next day. Thirty calls from Jimi, five from different board members, one, oddly enough, from Philip's wife, and two from Celeste. I listened to a few from Jimi. They were what I expected. It was just a play. Nothing had happened. I was blowing this all out of proportion and I needed to come home so she could explain it to me. I listened closely, but I never once heard an apology for what she'd done. I stopped after eight and deleted the rest.

The Board members all echoed the same sentiment. It was just a play. They had no idea the bedroom scene had been reinserted. Jack and Philip were banned from the rest of the season. Cynthia had been asked to resign. It seemed to me they were trying to make it right, so I might give them the benefit of the doubt.

The one from the asshole's wife was interesting. "Look, I don't know who needs to apologize here. You shouldn't have hit him so hard. I shouldn't have jumped you. I don't think anything happened, but if it did and you have proof, I would ask that you share it. I agree the bedroom scene was in mighty poor taste, but I think Jack and my husband feed off each other and your wife got caught in the middle. That won't be a problem in the future. I've told him in no uncertain terms he's done with the guild and if he can't generate some decent income from acting within the next six months, he's going to have to get a real job. He only started with the guild to gather a little more exposure."

Well, it seemed at least one of the bunch had some character. I called back and we had a lengthy conversation. We didn't part friends exactly, but we weren't sworn enemies.

It was a little more difficult to talk to Celeste. When she answered I started talking so she didn't have a chance. "Look, I'm sorry about last night. I was pretty upset and I may have overreacted. Your lifestyle is your business as long as it doesn't bleed over to mine. I like you a lot, honey, but you have some decisions to make, decisions I don't think will include Jack in the long run. If I see him again anytime soon, he'll probably have another fat lip. I would prefer you not cut me out of your life but if you have to, I'll understand."

When I ran out of breath there was silence. Then she started. "You hurt me, Roy. In all the time I've known you you've never said anything directly negative about my lifestyle. Jack can be an asshole and at times he can go too far. He should have never put that bedroom scene back in. I suspect he did it just to piss you off. He feels threatened by you, Roy. You're smarter than he is, way more successful, but most of all you have a much larger cock and nothing threatens him more. He's firmly convinced you and I are screwing because we're together so much. He's sure, and I'm using his words, 'that one day you'll fuck me with that big cock and I'll be ruined'. "

I couldn't help laughing. "I don't want to hurt your feelings, honey, but I'm not that large. Jack isn't that small. And just so you know, I'd never fuck you if we were to ever get together. I'd make love to you like you deserve. Later on down the road if we continued, then we'd fuck. I cannot imagine it would be anything less than spectacular."

I could almost feel her blush. "I... I have to go now, honey. Call me later on when you want to go over the show options."

Well, at least one bridge mended.

Jimi was a different story. I called her and didn't give her a chance to speak. "The house. Six o'clock. You better have your head on straight and not lie. The first time I catch you I'm out the door and we're done. If I find out you were fucking around on me, the prenup kicks in. I'll show no mercy. None."

She was sitting on the couch when I got there. I was happy to see she wasn't drinking. We'd both need a clear head to get through this.

"Honey, I..."

I held up my hand. "I'd like to speak first and ask some questions, if you don't mind." Knowing how organized she was and how her mind worked, I'm sure she'd formulated a plan and had it all worked out on how to present it. Spin doctors don't like being put in a reactive role. Me doing this threw the script out the window.

"Who picked the play you were presenting?"

"Jack did, but..."

"When you read it, especially the bedroom scene at the end, did you feel it was appropriate for a small-town audience?"

She was a little flustered now. "Jack said it would do the town good, get them out of their comfort zone and broaden their horizons."

"And you agreed?"

"Not at first, but Jack and Philip said..."

"Ah, words from the fount of knowledge and morality."

Jimi was glowing now. "Can I say something? Yes, it was incredibly stupid and totally inexcusable. The Guild has gotten a lot of phone calls since that night, and none have been flattering. So far, seventeen season ticket holders have demanded their money back. Two more corporate sponsors have cancelled their support. This may be the end of local theatre."

"You'll excuse me if I can't work up a lot of empathy for them."

"Please, Roy. You don't have to forgive Jack or Philip or even me, but you loved that theatre. Think carefully before you destroy them. They may never come back."

She was right, but I didn't care at the time.

"Did you fuck them?"

"NO!"

"Did you think about it? Did your rehearsals ever get a bit out of hand? Look me in the eye and tell me nothing inappropriate happened. Most of all, tell me why you thought it would be all right with me if you got practically naked on stage and then did the curtain call without dressing."

There was a lot of sobbing, and instead of comforting her I just waited until she composed herself. "Jack didn't tell me until just before the curtain went up that the bedroom scene was back in. He and Philip gave me the nighty and promised me no one would see it because they would dim the lights before I went on. Then Jack just shoved me onstage and I had no choice."

"I get it. The play must go on. Let me ask you, when he said the bedroom scene was back on, why didn't you tell them to go fuck themselves and refuse to do it? When Jack pushed you, you could have just ducked back. Know what I think? I think you were excited and just a little horned up and you decided 'why not', even though you knew, YOU KNEW, it would embarrass me and piss me off no end. Even then, if you'd put on a robe for curtain call and the mixer, I might have let it go. Did you do any of that? Fuck no you didn't. You strutted out there practically buck naked. No one in town has to wonder if you shave your pussy or if you have a piercing in one nipple any more, do they?"

Exhausted, I stopped. "I think we're done here, Jimi. I..."

The scream was primal and she launched herself at me, begging and crying at the same time. I just held her until she passed out. I sat for a while, feeling her snuggle down deeper in my arms, her grip never loosening. Did I still love her? Yes, I did. Did I think I could get over what she did? Maybe.

The next morning, she woke smelling coffee. I was at the table when she came in wearing one of my old t-shirts, her silky black hair a tousled mess. She never looked prettier to me. She got a cup and started talking. She talked half the morning and a lot of things came out. She was scared of having children. She was jealous of Celeste, and Jack preyed on that jealousy, telling her it was all right by him if I slept with his wife and he'd be happy to return the favor. Philip had joined in, telling her how sexy she was and how she deserved better. She swore there had never been any sex between them, but did admit there was a lot of wandering hands. I was shocked when she said ever since we fell in love she always woke up wondering if this was the day I realized I was married to a little foreign half-breed with the chest of a little girl and almost no butt that I needed to get rid of.

*****

It was a long road back. We went to counseling, together and Jimi went to another therapist on her own. In the end I could kind of see how it could have happened, given her mindset and falling into the hands of a couple of successful predators, but I still thought her love for me and common sense would have won out.

Needless to say, the theatre guild almost collapsed. There were no more performances that season; the last three plays cancelled. Cynthia got divorced. It was pretty ugly and Philip was named in an alienation of affection suit. He didn't have shit and Cynthia's husband told him if he'd testify he'd had sex with Cynthia, he'd drop the charges. Being the gentleman he was, he threw her under the bus and sang like a canary, even mentioning a couple of threesomes with their buddy Jack.

Philip's wife, Anne, embarrassed no end and sick of her husband's philandering, divorced him. He had the nerve to ask for support because he was unemployed. The Judge they had laughed when his lawyer brought it up. "You have a degree and some experience, Mr. Lawson. The job market is hot right now, so I have no doubt you'll land on your feet. Motion denied."

It took almost a year before I got a visit from Celeste and the new Board of Directors from the old theatre guild. If Celeste hadn't asked personally, I'd have told them to kiss my ass. I wasn't much for harboring grudges, and there were a lot of promises made about oversight of both the material and personnel, and they almost begged me to accept a seat on the board. Celeste appealed to me personally, so I agreed and helped get it geared up for a new season, one that was heavy on plays for children. I was even in one, playing the cow in the juvenile version of "Into the Woods." I had a ball and the local critic said I stole every scene I was in. That was the extent of my thespian activities, though, because work was pretty demanding in that time period. Celeste was named Artistic Director, and she chose the productions with care and directed most of them. It made her happy.

Celeste tried for a few months before she just gave up and divorced Jack. He did not take it well and it got to the point she had to threaten to get a restraining order if he didn't leave her alone. She and I were together a lot due to business, and Jimi and I tried our best to console her. I insisted Jimi spend more time with me and she often went with me when I traveled on projects, especially when it involved Celeste. I think it was half jealousy and half fascination with how television worked.