You Don't Have To Be Coy, Roy

Celeste had signed on with The Food Network for a thirteen-episode run, visiting restaurants mostly in the Southeast. One episode had her in California, and another in Vancouver. We didn't go with her to California but turned the Canada trip into a vacation. Celeste was dating one of the production team, a senior producer, and the four of us had a really good time.

We had two suites in one of the better hotels and ours had a hot tub. After a few drinks one night we shocked the hell out of her new man by stripping off and getting in the tub. Celeste had always had a good body, but thanks to working with Jodie it was amazing. Jimi, despite being so petite, was very well proportioned. By the time got his eyes back in his head and his tongue in his mouth we were teasing him gently. It took him about twenty minutes but I saw the look in his eyes. Jimi gasped when he shed his clothes. He wasn't porn star huge but he still had the biggest dick I'd ever seen live. Not that I make it a point of looking at dicks live or on video, but he had nothing to be ashamed of. I looked at Celeste and she just smirked. Well then, good for her.

We stayed in for another twenty minutes before we got out. Celeste and George didn't seem to be in a hurry and I grinned, remembering the last time we'd been in a tub together. "Christen it if you like. I'm not the one who has to clean it."

Once again, they got a very good view of Jimi's ass as I carried her into the bedroom.

Jimi was a tiger than night. I teased her the next morning. "Something sure inspired you last night. Do I need to get you a giant vibrator you can name George?"

She flushed but grinned. "Maybe. You're not exactly tiny, you know, but his seemed... unreal. I wonder how Celeste handles it."

I knew then there would be an episode of girl talk in the near future.

Jimi got to travel with Celeste because she was the ad executive in charge of her career, and she was doing a stellar job. Home and Garden came knocking about the other show we'd pitched and we worked out a deal. She'd do ten shows a year for them and twenty for The Food Network, leaving her roughly ten weeks a year for vacation and personal appearances. The remaining weeks would be her decompression time. There was even talks about a book or two as companion pieces.

The production company was thriving. The guys finished the animated short they had been working on for a couple of years, and it was nominated for an Oscar. It didn't come close to winning, but it got them a lot of recognition and job offers.

Deciding I'd done all I could do for them, I looked around for another project.

*****

Jimi came to me a few months later looking as nervous as a Scoutmaster/Priest going before a DA.

"Can I ask you something?"

"No."

She seemed startled. "What?"

"Well, it was a stupid question so I thought I'd give a stupid answer. What's on your mind?"

"Please hear me out before you say anything. I'd like to act in amateur productions again. Not in our town. God knows they don't even like me being in the audience. No, Jensenville is starting a theatre guild and I'd like to be part of it."

Jensenville was a tiny town about fifteen miles away. I think the whole town was less than 5,000 people. I thought about it for a minute. "I'm not too keen on that idea."

"Please, honey. They only plan on staging three plays this year. They're desperate for anyone with any experience at all. You could join, too; you don't seem to be that busy right now. It could be fun for both of us."

"Do they know about the last production you were in?"

She was a little pink when she answered. "No. And I'd rather it not come up in conversation. Please, Roy. I miss it."

I missed the peace of mind I used to have, but I didn't say it out loud. "Let me meet them. We'll go from there."

Sher expressed her gratitude three times that night. It had been a while since that had happened. It was a good thing I didn't have any meetings the next morning.

We did a meet and greet. They seemed nervous and out of their depth. Their leader was the local Senior High School English teacher and Drama Coach. He had majored in Drama, but had to take what he could get when he got out of college. He'd even been in a few off-Broadway productions and had spent a summer touring with a road company doing "Oklahoma".

He sighed. "It's kind of a pipedream for me. I lived in a large town before I moved here and was deeply involved with the theatre guild there. I talked to some of my old friends there and they encouraged me to do this, they even offered to give me a few of their old sets. My school kids are eager and a few of us have a drama background, but the rest are just housewives, production workers or office types who have no idea what they're getting into. Some will quit when they see how much time they'll have to commit; some will quit because it's not what they thought it would be. The rest of us will just carry on."

I appreciated his honesty. I also appreciated that they seemed to be mostly moral people and were adverse to doing anything risqué.

"You ever see a production of An Illicit Affair?"

Bob, the teacher, had a look of disgust on his face. "I have. It was pretty bad and the audience wasn't keen on it. Distasteful subject was the most common comment garnered. They only did one performance and shut it down."

"Did it have the bedroom scene in it?"

"Hell, no. I've never heard of anyone who had the balls to leave it in. If you're asking if that's something we're leaning towards, then the answer is an emphatic no. These are small town people: farmers, tradesmen, factory workers, and it wouldn't be something they would approve of."

I liked the guy.

Jimi immersed herself in the group, dragging me along when I wasn't tied up. They were all scared to death doing their first ever production. Jimi wasn't in it, listed on the playbill as assistant director. There weren't a lot of people in the audience the first time, and I think they were disappointed. I promised them things would be better next time.

They did the juvenile version of "Into the Woods," next. Jimi told them what a great cow I made, and I was drafted into playing the part. The lead was a sixteen-year-old girl who stole the show because she was that good. The place was packed because one of the corporate sponsors, McCoy Investing, Inc. bought all the tickets and gave them away to the community.

The applause at the final curtain went on for fifteen minutes, and I made sure every woman in the production, including the ones behind the scenes, got a bouquet of roses. They all had their costumes on during the after-show mingle. I wore the cow head. One little girl of about seven ran up and poked me. "Moo!" she giggled.

I mooed back which made her and her friends giggle harder. Since Jimi was in the production, I invited Celeste to the play. She was home from filming one of her shows and I figured the normalcy would do her good. She was escorted by some network executive and he was right in the middle of making fun of the production when she hit him in the stomach. Hard. He got the hint and behaved. The after party was held at an ice cream parlor in deference to the kids in the production.

The local paper made a big deal of it and they had to extend the run another week. I don't think there was an empty seat in the house and they all paid for the tickets.

I came in from a meeting on something that might be my next project to find Jimi and Celeste at our kitchen table, most of a bottle of wine gone. They were giggling about her date for the play. She saw me and grinned. "It was our first and last date. He should have gone in costume. He could have been the ass."

After they stopped laughing, she told us the only reason he came with her was to try and lure her away from our production company, promising her fame and fortune beyond measure if she'd sign with him. Jimi asked her what she told him.

"I told him if he'd kiss my ass at high noon in the food court of our biggest mall and gave me time to advertise, I'd think about it. He left that night."

*****

Jodie got me involved in my next venture. She frequented a bar that had been a landmark for years in her home city, and the owner had died. His widow didn't have the drive or skill to keep it going, so she put it up for sale. Jodie wanted me to partner with her and revitalize the place. I didn't have a lot going on and bar owner wasn't on my resume yet, so I agreed to look it over.

Jimi and Celeste went with me and were laughing hysterically in fifteen minutes. It turns out it was an Alternate Lifestyle bar, a mix of gays and lesbians, but mostly transgendered. Despite Jodie and the manager, we all got hit on within thirty minutes.

The place was huge but it had seen better days. I could see potential but not necessarily in the current incarnation. After talking it over with the owner in her office, we went looking for Jimi and Celeste. Jimi was on the dance floor with a very attractive transgender woman while Celsete was at a table full of guys doing shots. They recognized her from her shows and were determined to show her a good time.

Jodie took the opportunity to introduce me around and I ended up at a table with three T-girls. One was a very attractive blonde smaller than Jimi. Another was a really hot 'person of color' as she identified herself. Whoever did her work was a genius, because her breasts looked really natural and there was a lot of them on display. The third was a Latina with a classic bubble butt with hair down to her waist and a small bust. She saw me looking and laughed. "I know I got itty bitty titties compared to these bitches, but I'm on hormones. Don't worry baby, they'll grow on you."

We were far enough from the DJ to hold a conversation and they did a good job of persuasion, talking about the potential the place had, how much a facelift would help, but most of all they wanted to turn it into something that was more than a bar and hookup factory. They were talking about having fashion experts come in, book exotic dancers who catered to their niche in every three months. They even talked about sponsored sports teams.

"We're a perfect target. All of us, gay, trans, lesbian, we almost always have decent jobs, very rarely do any of us have children, so we have a lot more disposable income than most. If we had a place we felt safe and comfortable, think how much of that disposable income could be in your pocket?"

The little blonde did most of the talking and I found out she was an accountant, which made me pay closer attention to her. All three had skills and contributed to the conversation. We were so deep into it we didn't see the girls come up.

Jimi plopped down and grinned. "Give it up girls. He's mine and I'm not about to let him start experimenting." The Latina grinned.

"Don't automatically turn this opportunity down, sugar. I play on both teams and we could have a very good time together. I'd love to get this white boy into a Latina/Asian sandwich."

I didn't have time to blush before Desiree (really? She couldn't have been a little more original?) jumped in. "Count me in girls!"

Amy, the blond, piped up. "What am I, chopped liver? Include me in that little pile."

I was glowing and Celeste was pounding the table she was laughing so hard. One of the gay guys who had followed jumped in, rubbing my arm. "Forget those hoes, sugar. Let me show you what a real blowjob is like."

In the end we had three tables piled together and made it a party. The DJ cranked it up and I ended up dancing with all of them, even the guy. They must have bribed the DJ because every time I hit the floor a slow song would start a minute later. I just rolled with it; It would make a great story someday.

Thank goodness we didn't have to drive back to the hotel. I just barely remember getting into bed.

We all straggled out of our bedrooms and just stared at each other.

"Not a word. You hear me? Not a word about last night."

The ladies grinned. Jodie grinned widest. "I won't say anything. Besides, I got lots of pictures."

Celeste was holding her laptop. "I wouldn't worry Jodie. The place has a Facebook and we're all over it as possible owners. There's a really nice picture of Roy dancing with Chuck. He looks just adorable snuggled up to Roy, doesn't he girls?"

We all crowded around and she wasn't lying. There were pictures of all of us. Jimi dancing cheek to cheek with Desiree, Celeste at the guy's table while they all tried to kiss her cheek at the same time. Jodie in a lip-lock with the Latina. We all agreed it was a good thing we were out of town and doubted that any of our friends were friends of the club.

After breakfast, Jodie asked me what I thought. "It's got definite potential. You know, you're well off enough to buy the place yourself. Why do you need me?"

"I want your knowledge. This could be a gold mine. Mostly though, I want your luck."

"I'm not always lucky."

"I'll take my chances based on your track record. I'd really like to do this but I won't go forward on my own."

In the end we formed an LLC, JR Enterprises, and bought the place.

*****

Getting the bar remodeled and off the ground was more labor intensive than we thought, and for a while we were there once or twice a week. It was too far away to commute, so we always spent the night. I asked Jimi if she would be jealous because I spent so much time with Jodie. She was getting dressed for work and was still in her underwear. "If you had a set of these," she hefted her perky little breasts, "Or one of these," she ran her hand over the front of her panties, "there would be no way in hell I'd leave you alone with her. I think you're safe, honey."

"You ever think she might just be a switch hitter?"

"I think before you start playing the field you better think about the grand slam you have at home." By then she was taking her panties off and she ended up being late for work.

Four weeks later and we were almost done. The grand reopening would be held in two weeks. We kept a small part of the club open so our patrons wouldn't forget us. Most of the regulars showed up every Thursday for an update tour. I got lucky when we found out Desiree was an interior designer in real life, and we hired her as a consultant. I said as much to Jodie and she just grunted. "I told you. You're the type of guy who could fall into a barrel of dicks and come up with a pussy in both hands and one in your mouth." Wow, that was a analogy I would never have thought of.

Jimi and I were having a hard time getting quality time together. If I wasn't tied up, she was with the theatre group. The new season was coming up and she was neck deep helping them decide which plays they wanted to do. Jimi wanted to do Rocky Horror but got shot down pretty quickly because of the conservative nature of the community.

Celeste was going to have a limited presence in the old group because she was off filming her next set of shows for Home and Garden. They were on a tight schedule, trying to get all ten shows in in five weeks.

The club finally opened to a packed crowd. They were turning people away pretty early, giving those who couldn't get in a gold pass that ensured they would be the first in line the next time they came. The pass came with a complimentary first drink. We had hired Tina, the Latina trans who I had met the first night, to be manager. It seems she had a degree in hospitality management, but had a hard time finding a position in her field.

I insisted on a security team. Five guys and three women, all trained in their fields Two worked the club, two patrolled the parking lot, and one watched everything on monitors in their cubbyhole of an office. All were wired and could converge in moments in case of an incident. Tina thought it was a bit of overkill until I trotted out the facts about how vulnerable people with alternate lifestyles were. When two of the bouncers turned away two car loads of men intent on making an example of someone, she never said another word. The club was also on good terms with the local law enforcement. Two of the security team were retired policemen and there was always a pot of coffee and snacks in the office, usually homemade by one of the customers. As time passed and the incident rate of calls all but disappeared, everyone relaxed.

Jodie and I made it a point of visiting every month, to address any concerns and look after our investments. The last time we visited they were having a drag queen contest and Amy told me they were fielding a softball team in the mixed leagues. She laughed. "Gays, lesbians, and trans, we got all the bases covered."

They went on to win the championship that year and the trophy resides in a display case near the front door with a team picture over it. Owners in other towns often visited and came away with new ideas. Sometimes they left a few.

I stopped at my accountants for a yearly review. I was worth roughly four million, but it was mostly invested in different ventures. They estimated my worth would double in four years and triple in ten. I thought about it for a few days and decided to take some time off. My thinking was now would be an excellent time to start a family.

Jimi surprised me in a couple of ways. She was not as happy as I thought she would that I would pretty much be home full time for a while, and didn't seem too keen about starting a family. She was 34 and I was 38 and I could see our window closing.

My world started unravelling a month later when I attended a performance and saw a familiar face in the crowd. It looked a lot like Jack, but the guy disappeared before I could get close. Then I was looking at the playbill and saw another familiar face. Philip. His bio said he was a local businessman and former professional actor who enjoyed participating in amateur theatrics.

My stomach was rolling when I joined Jimi in their post production mingle. She read my mood and stayed quiet and never moved unless I did. It wasn't until we were on the way home that I brought it up. "So, when were you going to tell me Philip had joined your troop?"

"He hasn't been with us long, honey, and he and I never cross paths. If I find out he's in a production, I skip it and work on the next one. I need to remind you nothing actually happened those years ago, and nothing will happen now. I didn't tell you because I knew it would upset you."

"You know, I think I saw Jack in the audience."

"You may have. He and Philip moved in together to save money when they got got divorced, and they seem to enjoy living together. Similar lifestyles I suppose. I've only spoken to him once and told him to keep his distance and we'd get along fine. Please don't worry. I'm a big girl and can handle myself and I make sure I'm never alone with either one of them. Too many bad memories."

She sounded convincing and even though we had some of the best sex we'd had in a while, I couldn't get them off my mind.

She started spending more time at work. I asked Bob and Jan and they both said the firm was right in the middle of pitching a client with nationwide implications and everyone was doing all they could to be successful. I got to noticing she never left her phone laying around and seemed to guard it like it was gold. If you added it all up and topped it with the inordinate amount of time she was spending getting ready for the new play, it gave me a very uneasy feeling.

I stopped in at the investigative agency and talked to the Major. That had been his rank in the Army, and since a lot of employees were vets, the title stuck. We spent a little private time in his office and he sighed. "You sure you want to go down this road, Roy? Everything you told me seemed to have a reasonable explanation and if it's all paranoia on your part and she finds out she's not going to be a very happy wife."