All Comments on 'You Know You Love Your Brother'

Stupid

Ok but add more details

No storyline, didn't put much thought into writing this

I think what you, audience cannot understand, is that the content of the story and the quality of the writing is much more important than the length of the writing. I've read many very poorly written works here that are rated highly only because they are lengthy.

Think quality, not length.

“Think quality, not length.”

OK, taking that advice, this “story” reads like a rough first draft. It doesn’t have to be long, that’s true, but the story needs more setup, detail, and development.

How did they come (no pun intended) to be sexually involved? He didn’t just one day ask, and she said, “OK.” How did they deal with the moral taboo, threat of family disapproval if discovered, and get past it emotional/physical conflict (probably more difficult for her)? Does he love her, really? You get the sense he’s only concerned with his own satisfaction and cares minimally about hers. That attitude won’t get him very far with other women. Getting a woman to want to make love with you is a process, and it’s more involved than just deciding to buy a pack of gum.

The story has possibilities. It just needs to be fleshed out and developed, with an eye toward her emotions and motivations.

"She told me she was the first guy she'd sucked off and she was good at it."

First off, who was the first guy? There's no mention of anyone else in that sentence. I imagine it was supposed to say I, but it seems you were too quick to publish before doing any proofreading.

Secondly, 'show, don't tell' is a powerfull tool, and one I would suggest you learn to use. Nobody is asking you to write a 600 page story to build up to the taboo, but why even mention that she's good at oral if you're not going to use that info for anything? There is litlerally no description, which is why people are telling you that you need more details.

Honestly, your solution to “quality, not length” is barely better than "'Hey, I like you, wanna fuck?' 'Sure.' Then the had sex. The end."

I just shaved off 98.5% of the story without losing any of the plot, does that make it quality? No.

All that being said, your premise is not without potential, but as it is now it's more like a rough first draft, than it is a finished story, or even the first chapter of a story. And as such, I cannot in good faith give you more than 2 stars.

It was kinda quick without much background but you can add that in as you build the story. More physical details of both would help the reader get a picture in their mind. You are off to a nice start, so keep on working. Better details will make your stories better. Thank you.

I appreciate the supportive comments, but I had a reason for not fleshing the story out further. It's a vignette. I'm trying to mimic the way this action would play out on an amateur pornographic video. Structured this way, I have accomplished my purpose.