You Know You Shouldn’t

You know you shouldn’t be standing here outside your mother’s bedroom. You should be asleep. It’s past eleven, you have to work tomorrow.

You shouldn’t be staring at her legs. Did she kick off the blanket, or did she fall asleep before she pulled it over herself?

Those pills she’s been taking put her right out. She’s left the light on again. A waste of electricity.

You should just go in and turn off the light. You should probably pull the blanket over her while you’re here. The nights are getting cold, and her skin is already showing pink blotches from the chill.

You should pull the blanket over her and leave. Definitely not lift it up to see whether she’s wearing anything. You should really try to forget about that time she wasn’t, and you caught a glimpse of dark hair before you covered her and dashed out of the room. You should probably stop wanking over that memory too. You really should.

Or at least you should feel more guilty about it.

Just like you should feel guilty now about lifting the blanket. The way your heart is pounding, your blood is racing? The way your legs and hands are trembling? That’s because you know you shouldn’t.

You can still stop this. Your hand’s trembling. You’re going to have to put the blanket down, one way or another. Either cover her – like you know you should – or move it all the way. Like you know you want to. Like you know you’re going to.

It’s not like you’ve even seen anything. You’d have to lift the blanket higher. Even higher. Even– You should lower the blanket. That’s it. Her pubes. Her pussy.

You should really start breathing again.

Slow, steady breaths. Not too loud. Definitely shouldn’t be too loud. Should ignore the pain of the air rasping down your throat. Should stop your fingers from trembling.

You should make a decision. Blanket on or off. You shouldn’t be telling yourself that lifting it a little further won’t make any difference now.

You should fold it back. The shadow is on her… her… Fold it back.

Might as well fold it all the way off. She’s fast asleep, and your hand’s trembling. You should really take a deep breath and stop shaking.

You shouldn’t be doing this. You know you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t be leaning down for a closer look. You really shouldn’t. And you should be careful how you lean your weight on the mattress. Don’t want to wake her.

You shouldn’t get too close. You shouldn’t try and smell. You shouldn’t move closer and closer, until something brushes against your nose. It tickles. Her pubes. You shouldn’t have got so close.

But she’s asleep! She’ll never know.

You shouldn’t rub yourself through your shorts. Even though your body’s aching. Crying out. Trembling like there’s an electric current running through you. Shouldn’t rub yourself.

You shouldn’t open your mouth and breathe out. Soft and warm. Will she feel it? Will she–? She’s stirring! Is she awake? Get back!

That’s it. You should get out. You shouldn’t wait to see whether she’s going to wake up. But she’s not. She’s only shifting in her sleep. Just lying there, on her back, with the blanket bunched up around her waist.

You shouldn’t, but the second time it’s easier. You shouldn’t do the breathing thing again. Even though she doesn’t stir this time, you know you shouldn’t.

And you shouldn’t stick your tongue out. No further than this, anyway. You shouldn’t touch her with it. You shouldn’t…

That scent! It shouldn’t be so hot, but it is! So hot, so forbidden. So… irresistible, so intoxicating.

This should be enough. More than enough. You should really leave now. Pull the blanket over her again. You should.

You shouldn’t take another deep breath. Or another. And your tongue…

You should take a moment. Savour how she tastes. Savour her flavour, ha!

Shouldn’t do it again though. Even though she tastes so… Her hairs are in the way. So you shouldn’t press harder with your tongue. Shouldn’t burrow through them. Shouldn’t run your tongue down, to where the soft folds part, to where…

You should try to breathe. Try to breathe.

You should see whether she’s wet. Whether those pink lips slide open willingly, whether her cream coats your tongue as you run it up and down.

You should lap it up. It tastes heavenly, warm and sweet on your tongue. You should suck it into your mouth.

You should probe at her button. Flick it with your tongue. Suck it between your lips and–

She’s not waking up. She’s just dreaming. See, her legs are parting.

Perhaps you should push her ankles apart, raise her knees… Slowly, carefully…

Her pussy is so beautiful! So warm and moist. The curly hairs sticking to her lips where you sucked at her.

You should do it again. She was enjoying it, even fast asleep. You don’t need to be so cautious.

You should taste her. Run your tongue all over. Suck up her cream. Lick her button.

It’s growing hard. Her breathing is hard, too. What’s she dreaming about? Who is she dreaming about?

She’s starting to shake. Perhaps you should…?

She’s so tight around your finger. She’s moaning in her sleep. It’s such a sexy sound!

You should work faster. Suck her clit. Probe with your finger. Build up the pace, the pressure. You should–

There it is!

You should keep licking, keep up the tension as she cries out and writhes on the mattress. You should suck up some more of her cream, enjoy it as it leaks from her.

You should slow down now. She hasn’t woken, even with her climax.

You should get out of the way! If her knee catches you in the head as she curls up into a ball…

She’s fast asleep again. She looks happy.

You should pull the blanket over her properly now. Let her sleep. All she’ll know is that she had a wonderful dream.

You should go now. You still have to be up early tomorrow, and you should get some sleep.

You should play with yourself first. Fill your nose with her scent that’s still on your face, taste her cream that’s still on your lips, your finger.

You should feel bad about this, about what just happened. Ashamed of what you just did. You shouldn’t be rubbing yourself, moving your hand faster and faster, reliving it in your mind, licking your lips and inhaling deeply, faster and faster and– and– and...

You should be able to sleep now. And you shouldn’t try this again ever. You shouldn’t try it again tomorrow. You shouldn’t see what else you can do.

You really shouldn’t.