All Comments on 'You Will Never Know Our Names!'

I see English is not your first language. Before writing a second story, you need to find an editor. Your English is so bad it's difficult to read.

It's all good but he decided to take her back, lol no sane man would do that

For a non native English speaker, you manged to write better than many authors on the site. This was a good effort, especially for a first time in a secondary language.

I stopped reading when he fired the gun. He fired 5 shots and they should all be deaf by then.

Not to mention he would be arrested for discharging a firearm, bodily assault, coercion and a host of other charges, he would be divorcing her from prison and the judge would award her EVERYTHING, if only because her idiot ex-husband would SPEND THE NECT 10 years in prison.

I'm not big on reconciliation, but the python did get what he deserved. The wife, she definitely got something.

You had a good story here, but it was full of typos, and some words were missing from sentences. It's obvious you can tell a good story, but you need an editor for any future endeavors.

3*

Good First Effort

He could have killed them both. If he didn't catch them, she would be eternally cheating. I don't know by being caught would have changed her that much. I had a mother-in-law live with us and it was no picnic. Back in the old days. I don't know about reconcilliation without consequences, her friends notwithstanding, but he was easy on her and didn't contemplate leaving at all. By the way, what happened to the rape charge?

Keep writing. I'll be reading

Four Stars

your use of the Kings English borders on abuse, find an editor!

Very good start. Keep writing.

Deepshit....LOL. It's dipshit. Not a bad story. The discovery and beat down were unrealistic. However, the wifes reconcilliation efforts were well thought out and actually the best part of your story. Which is odd because I usually prefer a good burn/revenge/get-your-balls-back kind of ending.

unreadable shit

Another reconciliation where the wronged husband went all out to protect the marriage, and the cheating wife is not doing anything worthy to keep it. In fact, this husband is keeping the marriage intact with threat of violence.

-

I don't mind the grammar, but proofreading will improve a lot. Keep writing.

A different aspect on an old theme; the husband - wife discussion after the event made the story. Proof reading required as there were many errors but it did not detract from the storyline. A very creditable effort for a first story, please keep writing.

It was good. I am impressed by the dialogue between the wife and husband after the incident. Very realistic and I said to myself if this ever happened to me (wife cheating) I will look up this story and reread the conversations between the couple as most of it will be relevant if ever something similar comes up in my married life. I could understand their reconciliation -- maybe the husband finds the wife to be sincerely remorseful and thus a second chance.

/

I am wondering though -- will that loosen vagina have any effect on the husband?

Thanks Wanden.

Good start even though storyline a little extreme. However, the scum BTB trolls won't like the ending so expect some abusive comments.

I am sure the author began by leading the reader down the usual path taken by most stories of this kind only to make the sharp turn towards it's eventual destination. Very cleverly and imaginatively done, Thank You. It is a refreshing change of storyline that I enjoyed. I think this story comes from a unique and creative mind and I'm sure you will need very little 'constructive criticism' to continue to produce original and interesting stories. Please use editors carefully and restrict them to technical writing matters while leaving your storyline alone. I would trust your creativity over an editor's 'better ideas' Great Job5*****

good first effort, 5 deserved just for the dialogue process.

Really, I’m sure I’ve read it before. Maybe on SOL? The only other place I go for stories like this.

Obviously someone with English as a second language, so no comments on that other than that. And this not occur in any first world nation that I can think of, with the way the police acted. Unless you mean in the US in the Deep South into the 1980s, and the bouncer was colored. This could have used editing for content, and grammar & style.

The argumentative dialogue was slightly (and I mean ~10-15%) too long, and the RAAC resolution a bit +50% too short.

Overall, have to give this 3-stars.

It had a lot of understandable English errors; it is one of the hardest languages. See if you can get a friendly English teacher to proof read you work. There was the examination of both broken parties which was able to overcome some of the misogynist anger and male violence of the beginning. Still you need to revise that initial bedroom scene, your MC has the ability to overcome his rival without the gun. Gun violence, in our world, is not an acceptable literary tool, especially where women are involved, and it certainly NOT erotic! Still I think the story was worth the read...keep them coming.

Quite good. Bit cruel on the "puthon" but hey, he deserve it. As for a wife... Yes, she cheated and yes, he could dump her. But he didn't and in the end it came good.

"From then on, I was known as the fastest gun west of the Ganges! The Rawalpindi Kid!"

.

Good effort. I'd suggest a reread by an American or UK editor to refine the wording and dialogue. 3/5

This was pretty good, as far as the English as a second language, check out Grammerly that should help.

An interesting story that you told beautifully. I liked it, except for the amount of violence against the lover! That was too much for me. I am a real opponent of forgiveness and reconciliation after cheating several times, but I can accept your approach. I'm looking forward to more stories!

I wish you would have mentioned there is no sex to this story. A very long read but very little enjoyment.

I liked it. Thank you for your effort . 👍🏾🇸🇪

Here's some constructive criticism. Stop trying to write. This was nothing more than a convoluted bunch of words looking for a story.

All is well if you didn't start with a willing Cuck shit.

3*.

A title works either by building expectations or by providing insight in retrospect.

When a title fails miserably, like this one, a good story can be ruined.

First story...English is not his first language...there's some creativity here. So, despite this bit of anatomical illiteracy: "You do know that your vagina would have become permanently loose after long exposure to python, right? How were you going to explain that?", I'll give it a 4.

A lot of good stuff, but it was easy to see that English is not your first language. I’m impressed that you did so well since I don’t know any other language and shouldn’t throw stones. Be patient before posting, find an editor from the writer’s resource pages, and please keep writing.

“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

— John Webster: The Duchess of Malfi.

The choice to remain with his wife is, of course, at his own discretion. But no matter all the fancy words the world has to offer, the promises, wows, etc. that his estranged wife made to 'make up for her mistakes', he needs to realise he can never believe a single word that comes out of her mouth. We all make mistakes; it's been an inherent issue about humanity since the days of Adam and Eve. But small or large mistakes, doesn't matter, there are still consequences to them.

Good read!

You still made him a cuck

2/5

Very good story and the English is OK for someone that does not have English as a first language. I particularly enjoyed the "after the event" discussion: it is very true to life!

Good overall, though the reconciliation seems force's. How is a woman supposed to live by herself, her mother will not be there forever, 1 kilometer from the nearest neighbor. She would lose her mind with boredom or start drinking

Interesting story. He was aware that she followed her usual tactical pattern, to get what she wanted, while arguing that he keep her; yet he still gave in. It’s like his anger evaporated. He never showed any of the pain or self-don’t that he explained, about his average size or inability to compare physically.

For a first effort, it was fairly good. The big problem is your lack of understanding of English expressions and idioms. You also use words which are close, but not correct, quite frequently. An English speaking person proof reading your material would help a lot. I also doubt you ever saw a well written story where the dialogue is punctuated in the manner you dreamed up for this story. Keep writing, but know that a good editor would benefit you tremendously. Some of your mistakes are quite funny, but that was not what you were attempting here.

It is a good story, but you do need an editor. The Indian background seeps through in some sentence structures, but not too badly.

I have no idea what the title has to do with the story.

When the MC started explaining to his wife how her vagina works, I stopped reading. The stupid “big dicks stretch out pussies forever” myth is so tiring. I’m guessing all the writers using it aren’t having regular sex with the same women and haven’t heard of child birth. Having a man telling a woman this just made it so worse.

Very well written considering english is not your first language

Don't become some RAAC cuck, for the love of god...

The wife did the bare minimum, AFTER fucking things up! Also, her reasoning was so fucking stupid and absurd that even a braindead child could've poked holes in it. This reconciliation made about as much sense as putting out a fire with gasoline.

Good fun! Bit of overkill on the python tho police friend or not causing grevious bodily harm after the guy is down is no longer defence, not worth a career and pension. Interesting move to bring in mommy as behavioural security, but no how is he doing to going to bdsm the slut! Spanking and whipping can get noisy, parading her about in leather strappy bondage gear…. Hee hee

You need an editor. There are grammar and word choice issues or just missing words/typos.

So, just another WIMP story...

Like it. Ok the grammar has some issues ( English is not my native language too) but the plot was ok.

he acts as if the python was the 1st. She told the python there were other and he heard them. ANd why would any man want to go through all that to keep a slut?

Let's focus on the core problem of this offering: its editing.

I know you said you did it by yourself, author, but, if you truly did, honestly, you did a very poor job of it. And no - the fact that English is your second language doesn't at all absolve you from this grammatical fiasco (English is MY second language, and, if I ever bother posting a story anywhere, there's no goddamn way I would posted one with so many mistakes!)

But enough of that. Let's try to help you out here. If you really want to SUCCESSFULLY edit your own stories:

• Grammarly is your friend

• Text-to-Speech programs all around the Internet are your friends

You used those two things, and it would be very unlikely for anyone to ever tell you you can't edit worth a damn... unless you don't truly understand English, of course.

As for the story itself... Some people would call it a RAAC, but that cannot be futher from the truth - the MC had one foot out of the door of his marriage for several months, and only didn't walk out on it because his wife went out of her way to prove she could change. Except for not making her sign a post-nub (his biggest mistake, IMO), he did pretty much everything right: therapy for her, STD check, no sex for a long time, actual proof of contrition from her. I know there will be plenty of commenters who will call him spineless for taking the slut back, but those fellows never seems to understand how TRULY SHITTY divorces, in general, are. There's a reason why "it's cheaper to keep her" is a well known saying. Yes, it's more likely than not that she would start acting up again, as she approach middle age, and that such a situation would be quite worst now that they would have kids... but that's the risk you're taking by getting hitched in the first place. I personally would have never bother giving someone like her another chance, but I can't really look down on him for trying to make it work after she truly showed some effort.

So, overall, a decent first try. Now, get that Grammarly going...

Not believable story!

A very good first effort. Yes word phrasing needs some work, and you need to understand idioms to be a better writer. A very good story. For all the above I still give you 5 stars.

I gave this a higher grade than the editing should have dictated because it was an honest attempt.

REally liked it. The husband handled his business in a very respectable way.

Great first story. And your command of English was very good.

Not sure how he avoided prosecution, though, except his Slut wife would have backed up the rape charge. Plus it appeared his best mate was that cop 😎

Look forward to future efforts.

4****

For first effort it was very very good. I like the RAAC in this case, I have to admit it was surprising and took a path I didn't see coming, that got you an extra star .... please keep writing.

well told my man. good first try. recommend an editor for grammar and flow. 4**

Alternative title: "How to turn a decent (not great) story into BS

Bad enough that he was a total cuck that let her off the hook entirely, but you add countless errors that could have been corrected/fixed with a minimum of effort. I stopped counting them at several dozen.

Good first errors but no man is going to sleep in the same bed where his wife was fucking another man. Only cuckolds and simps do that.

The worst betrayal in this story is the main character betrayal of himself by staying married.

For reconciliation stories 1 star because that is the lowest score allow.

Personally, I have a lot of respect for anyone who attempts to write in a foreign language. That said, there are many mistakes, wrong words, missing words, etc., so you really need to find an english-speaking editor or proofreader.

Your story is interesting, but the worst of your grammar mistakes really prevented me from becoming involved with the characters. Still, it's a good story, though he's a better man than I; I'd have kicked her to the curb. She's had better sex with another man; she'll forevermore know for a fact that she has settled for LESS to stay with her husband.

Considering English is not your native language, it’s pretty good for a first story, but nothing really new. Wife cheats, hubby destroys the guy she fucked, she says sorry and hubby takes her back. Same RAAC formula as many other stories. Sorry, don’t mean to be overly critical. Please continue to write. I will enjoy watching your stories develope.

How dumb do you think the police are? Good grief the holes in the rape story are a mile wide. Her friends knew she was having an affair with him.

Not a bad story, even if it is a common storyline. You will likely get grief for what are obvious language issues. I advise finding a native English-speaking person to proofread your stories, as that will allow readers to focus on your story and not get distracted by issues created by English being a second language.

The bouncer will have filed a complaint with police and filed civil actions. The damage to the bouncer was far beyond self-defense, and husband will have ended up in jail and certainly much poorer. The "beating up" story line is a cheap ploy which authors use when they cannot create, but the cheap ploy makes rest of story uninteresting.

Very good first story. It did seem like the wife did not receive enough penance and just talked her way out of it in one conversation though....

Long stupid story with a silly ending. *

Good first effort

SO many errors it made reading this painful. And why would she want to live with an unpredictable animal? She's fear for her life the rest of her days. I didn't believe for one second that she wouldn't either tell the police the truth (Robby would certainly back her up) or move far, far away, change her name and let an attorney take care of the divorce. She'd still be having nightmares years later. Ugly, violent tale. PS - no police force in the world lets him walk away from that level of attack.

Wanden

I don't usually read stories from writers from India (call me a whatever if you wish). First let me say congrats for your first story. By being up front at the start about self editing and English as your first language (it made it easier not to hold it against you). I wish you lots of luck on your next story. As encouragement I will give you a 5.

Not a bad first effort. You need some help with your grammer checking. A few words that were spelled correctly but grammatically incorrect where the reader had to guess at your intentions. Despite that you picked up on the anger of the wronged husband and crafted a decent redemption arc for the selfish wife.

Not too shabby for a first try at writing. I liked the story line. Guy coming home to this bullshit and not laying down is not the norm in these types of stories, but it’s needed. BTB can also mean Burn The Bastard!

A good story all in all. I’ll let other readers break down the grammar and other mistakes. I would give you a *5 for setting up the Python and kicking his ass, and then sending the cheating bitch out the door with him. But the bogus rape charge to save her reputation was not needed. He was probably ok with self defense in the beating. I took away 2 points for all the silly talk, and the final RAAC. This cheating gold digger did not deserve reconciliation. It’s your first story and you will get better with practice. There are commentators here who know their stuff, so listen to them and get better. Good luck with your writing.

This was interesting and somewhat entertaining but I'm not able to buy it..

It would probably take a few more pages to sell it to me because I simply have not enough of an idea about how they could even work through all her bullshit.

The police officer in charge of the investigation was his long-term friend. Of COURSE he knew the rape story was bogus. But he wanted to look after his friend.

To Anonymous who said "big dicks stretch out pussies forever" stupid. They do physically and after going back to a small one for quite a while the physical part then becomes mental.

Good for a first attempt. An editor would help for sure, especially to add the missing word in many sentences. ⭐⭐⭐⭐

The argument went on too long. Otherwise not bad for a first story

All that time and effort and all you could come up with was another pathetic RAAC story. Too bad!

Didn't find it entertaining or something I'll remember long.

That was some story. I really didn't think they could pull it off. 5 stars. The Bear approves. Having a temper, especially one as bad as his, is a curse. Giving her another chance is in itself dicey. But it is what it is. He was a bigger man than I. Keep writing, My friend.

The BEAR

First, ignore all negative anon comments.It's easy to shoot something down while hiding. It was a good story line. The dialogue between hubby and wife was believable. There were some grammar mistakes but forgivable since English is not your first language. A proofreader would be a good idea for you. But congrats on your first story.

Decent story gave it a five. Could use a little polishing though, but

not a bad first attempt.

Great first effort! Innovative, original, thoughtful. I have a feeling that the anonymous BTB freaks are going to kvetch that he was a cuck, but you show maturity.

Claiming rape and beating the snot out of Python was good, but I doubt it would be possible in real life. That said, your story, your universe, your fantasy!

Keep up the great work!

Good story. Has Substance. Some good comments here that should help. Ignore the cheap shots. Look forward to your next one.

LWlurker

Apparently you do a better job writing in a second language than many whose first language is English can do reading and understanding a FICTION story. Such folks just have to bitch about something, probably thinking it makes them look smart. (It really just makes them look stupid.)

You clearly show clear evidence of rape, so long as wife sticks to her story, the investing officer is his friend and she can fuck the guy every day of the week, but if she said no and the so called perp didn’t stop it’s RAPE. He needs to make sure wife sticks to the story—Mr. Anon, giving what we know about Hubby’s bent to violence would you, as the wife, stick to the story? I sure as heck would<

Wanden, keep up the good work. You do need help with English however.

4 STARS cd

Nicely done. Thanks and keep writing.

Not a bad first story especially considering it's your second language.

Agree some of the others, not a bad first shot. There has been at least one other tale on the site that was close to yours, not that I'm saying you plagiarized., just wasn't "fresh". Get an editor as there were several omissions in spelling and improper references, but not over the top. I did think your narrative flowed pretty well with only the occasional "staccato" blast of conversation. 4*

The protagonist has one of the better personalities in this section, only thing I would have added was him getting even

Congratulations on your first story. Husband’s logical deconstruction of wife’s rationalizations was my favorite part. He clearly exposed her stupidity and selfishness. You must give her credit though, for hanging in there and scratching and clawing to resuscitate an otherwise dead marriage. Thank for your story.

I loved your story; finally a husband who didn't sit and watch and listen to his wife with another man. A husband with a true husband reaction. Reading the prior criticism's of your story amaze me. I didn't see any English errors which diminished my understanding of the story. I don't read these stories as if I'm in English 101. I was just satisfied that you had the creativity to take this story in a direction few other writers do so please continue writing.

Really good story in there

Please find an editor

You’re writing is worth it

Keep going!

Not a bad story, but hard to read because of the obvious language issues. I advise finding a English-speaking person to proofread your stories.

I like the story and I gave it five stars which is unusual for me. The reason I ranked it so highly was that I found the way the conversation went between husband and wife after the event to be new, well thought, and intriguing. I don’t think there is a basic plot base that hasn’t been used here but the stories that I believe can be classified as unique are those that use a different approach or point of view in how that basic plot unfolds. Some poignant questions by the husband had me really thinking about the context of so many previous stories and the litany of excuses.

Now this is what I call a story.well done

Good story please keep writing

Enjoyed it a lot

Story was okay but you are in dire need of someone to edit your work. Way to many missing words, misspelled words, names in lower case to mention a few. Good luck. Keep writing.

Camouflage it however you want to, but it's just a story about a whore and a man with no self respect. He's just a pussy and she's slimy, cheating cunt. 1 star.

So English isn’t, big fn deal. It amazes me many cultures, too many kritics. LOVEslap hapy papy #9

fuckling fabulous... the conversations were extremely well done

A very BIG Thanks to everyone who took time to read my first story.

A BIGGER Thanks to those that took time to comment. Your feedbacks are much welcome.

At the time I am writing this note of gratitude, I have received 90 comments so far, and it's only been a day since the story was published!

For all those who have provided positive and constructive feedback, I thank you for your encouragement and guidance.

For those of you who have left negative feedback, I thank you as well, because you took time enough to do something rather than stay silent. As some I knew once said; negative feedbacks are better than no feedbacks! Plus, I believe my work has impacted you, only negatively.

I am going to answer some of your doubts here.

26thNC – The bogus rape charges was not to protect her reputation; it was a cover up for his unspeakable violence. More like making her an accomplice to shut her up. The wife here is not a gold digger, merely stupid. Gold diggers don’t cut up their credit cards and bring their mothers to live with them as a show of conscience.

someoneother – Few things that will make the husbands case stick here. 1. Rape charge with physical evidence especially sperm; if the bouncer complains and the couple counter-file rape the bouncer's ass is grass.

Regguy69 - The hubby gave her a second chance because her believes in second chance. What he is today, it is because of a second chance that his father gave him by putting on to therapy.

ImNotanAnon - Sorry to disappoint you, it will not be my last attempt.

MightyHorny - Point taken, Will use Grammarly.

Tls2753a - The title was an inside joke – You get the name of the other guy, even the police officer attending to the case, but not the main characters’.

Harddaysknight - I am big fan of yours, this is surreal for me! Will do a better job next time around.

WhoGivesAShit - He never felt pain about his equipment size cuz he was happy with what he had, its what was given to him.

Some have mentioned the point about vagina “not becoming” permanently loose. I accept my mistake, it was far-fetched.

Once again, thanks y’all!!!

From one Indian closet cuck to another, that's a great first story bro! Expecyiy more such fine cuck RAACs from in future. It always takes one for a tango, that's the motto! Beat up the Other Man, take back the wife! That's it!

Impressive story. Odd how errors in English can distract from readability, but it depends on the errors. There were a lot, some quite amusing, but none really stopped the flow, so no real issue. An editor would help of course, both in correction, but also in improving your writing, but it’s difficult to find one. Otherwise, make use of Word, Google Docs and Grammarly. Between them they’d catch 90% of the errors, and the style is not typically that of a second language speaker from the Indian sub-continent, so you should be fine. Good start