You Will Never Know Our Names!

Just then the w heard the sirens. I walked over to the closet, got a bathrobe and gave it to her, which she wore immediately.

The first person to rush in was inspector Ravi, my oldest friend. Taking a quick assessment of the situation he asked me, "Is he going to live?"

"He should."

Turning back, he hollered and a two paramedic came in and the female officer came in. He pointed at the motionless body of the python.

The paramedics did some basic tests and announced that he should be taken to hospital immediately, which they did

Once they'd left, looking around his eyes locked on to the bullet holes. "Are those bullet holes? What happened?"

"I'd come home to get some documents. There was a strange bike in the front, when I got in, I heard her screams. Not knowing how many were there, I took my gun and charged in to find him finished with her. I tried to shoot him in rage, but the bastard kept ducking. He charged at me and I attacked rest is a blur. I mean I remember hitting him, hitting hard... I just wish I had come sooner" I shook my head as if I was weary.

"When was you last counselling session?" Yes, being the oldest friend, he knew all about me. But my wife seemed surprised that he knew.

"You know it was during the last year of high school."

"I had to ask; you've done a number on him." Turning to face my wife he said. "I can't say how bad I feel for you, I know how traumatic it must be but we have a few questions to ask."

My wife nodded without facing him.

"When did he get in what happened?"

"He... he... got in sometime late morning. He threatened me... he forced me... I... I..." She wasn't acting, just looking at my slightly manic expression.

"If you are not comfortable telling you can have a private conversation with Officer Rita here."

I slightly shook my head unnoticed except by my wife. She repeated the same.

"Okay. Are you going to press charges?"

"That depends on my wife." I said looking at her expectantly.

She struggled for words, I put an arm around her making her flinch.

"I know her better than anyone, she'd want to all of this behind her and move on, isn't that so dear?"

She nodded looking at the other side.

For the first time Rita spoke. "Listen, if you let him go unpunished, he and the likes of him will only be braver to do such things in future."

"I don't think he will even be able to jack off for some time to come officer, much less force a woman. As ravi here said I did a number on him." I said casually.

"Who was he? Did you know him?" Ravi asked.

"He is a bouncer in one of the clubs that my wife and her friends visited." I replied. "He must have followed and known this was the easiest place to attack."

"I'm sure you'd need medical attention." Rita offered soothingly.

"That she does." I agreed. "Is there any way this guy can press charges on me?"

"No way, first this is your home and he has raped your wife, this is self-defense." he paused for a minute before asking her, "Did, he cum inside you?"

My wife nodded looking away.

"Then the guy is good as dead, we'll have it collected and processed. If in the unlikeliest possibility he does something stupid like what you said, it will seal the deal."

We left for the hospital. On the way I informed my office that I had a personal exigency and would not be available for some days. The ride was entirely silent. The process in the hospital took two hours, the process of testing for STDs was automatic, it gave me relief. The ride back was silent as well.

When we reached home, my wife went into the bathroom and did not come out for an hour. When she did, she dressed comfy and started out the door when I stopped her. "Where are you going?"

"I want time alone; I am going to the guest bedroom."

"I suggest you don't call any of your friends in this time, if you do and tell them the truth there might be confusions since the police is involved now."

"I just need time by myself."

"Okay."

She left with that. I was thankful for the solitude as I had my own thinking to do. Though I portrayed to be a guy in control of what was happening, I was barely that. My childhood violence, my ability to hurt others sadistically had made me delusional. I understood this only when I went into counselling. The psychiatrist, bless him, made me understand all it took was one slip in a violent situation to go wrong me to fall, I understood the reality. More than that, he made me understand that violence should always be the last choice and should be used sparingly when in utmost need. E.g. You rescue a girl about to be raped, you may be forced to violence, but it should be used only till the attacker was disabled, not dead.

He made me understand that violence can be a dangerous addiction that could consume me and put others around me in danger. Once I got this through my thick head, I avoided being violent. Then there was today. I could have left guy alone I had broken his leg; he had lost the fight. But no, I had made an example out of him. All for what? This was not school where when I made an example out of one bully the other kept distance in fear.

One could argue that my wife needed to learn a lesson, maybe she had. That being said, my actions this afternoon from the noon had rattled me. I had made myself a name as a warm guy in my circle, did I want become a violence-junky? No, thank you! I had to start again, maybe I should visit my counsellor once again.

These were my thoughts when it was close to six pm and she came back our bedroom. By this time, I had cleaned up the place as much as I could but the bullet holes would require patch up work.

She stood at the entrance without coming in. "You can come in you know; I am not going to bite you."

"I don't know what you are capable of anymore."

I looked up from my laptop. "I can say the same thing."

She looked away hurt, that gave me satisfaction.

A thought came to me and I laughed, that got her attention.

"Usually, the aggrieved party tells the cheater 'You brought this upon yourself', here though its literally true. Think about it, my violent past was just that - past. To be frank I knew I was being too compliant with you. If you did not have an affair this whole thing would not have happened."

She hugged herself as I spoke, and responded to my surprise. "You are right, I brought this upon myself. Is there... is there a chance for us?"

I had to laugh at that, unsettling her. "After all you've seen me do you still want an us?"

She sighed. "Yes, as you said, I had no inkling what you were capable of and it would've stayed that way if not for me."

"My answer is No." I said bluntly, making her pause. "I don't have any interest in staying married to a selfish, cunning, contemptuous and ignorant bitch."

He eyes widened in response to my words. "How could you say that! I am not saying what I did was right, but that, I don't deserve!" She tried to muster up all the dignity she could, it was pathetically funny.

I laughed mirthlessly. "When you decided to and had an affair -- what is that if not selfishness? When you went on the pill and did not have sex with me on those days to avoid letting me in to your loose cunt - what is that if not cunningness? From the time I came in till now -- You have been worried only about you and you've done that unconsciously -- you've not given a conscious thought to anything else. - what is that if not you being a selfishness, contemptuous, and ignorant, bitch?"

Fresh set of tears had started falling as I spoke, but she controlled herself from sobbing. "Okay... okay I deserve all that, I slipped. I've been a bitch, call me worse... I will change-"

"Stop it right there! You are still in damage control mode. You need to leave."

"No! We have to talk anyways, why not now? I admitted to my mistake-"

"You are only parroting what I say, you haven't had an original thought. You know why? It because you are afraid to bare yourself. You do not want to save this marriage; you only want to save yourself."

She was silent for some time, her eyes wavering for answers.

"Okay, I am officially adding dumb to the list of your attributes."

She gave me scathing look but kept silent.

I knew this was going to go nowhere. Years of having her way with no repercussion had deprived of the ability to introspect. I decided to finish it.

"Okay, I am going to ask some questions and you are going to give me honest answers. If you lie, end of conversation."

She nodded, apprehensively.

"Imagine our positions reversed, you come home to find me fucking a voluptuous hottie. I ask you why you are home when you confront us. Now tell me how you'd feel?"

She visibly swallowed. "I... I..."

"Be honest." I gritted my teeth.

"I would think you had no respect for me."

"Next, I ask you when you came in, what'd you feel then?"

Her breathing increased. "I would think you hold me in contempt."

"Very good, you're making progress. Finally, I tell you 'This is not what It looks like'."

She shook her head as if to make my words go away. "I... I... God, I don't know what to say."

"Okay, fair enough for a dumb bitch. Let me ask you this, all these questions done with, what's the minimum thing you'd expect from me?"

Her hand went to her mouth, she sobbed for a minute before saying, "I'm... sorry." She continued to sob for another couple of minutes. I felt no triumph.

She slowly walked and sat at my feet, catching hold of them, she said, "I am so sorry, I made a terrible mistake. Please forgive me. I let my friend's words get to my head. I will make it up to you, please."

"It won't work even then, even if you keep up all you said." I said without pausing to think.

She frowned. "Why not?"

I scoffed. "Where did your brains go? Huh?" She jumped, I continued. "Did you enjoy fucking him?"

The fear came back in her face, she kept silent.

"Answer me! And be honest about it!" I growled.

"I... I... did."

"Was he better than me? Did you do suck him off?"

Her fingers around my feet shook. "He... I..."

"So, he was better than me. It'd only be a matter of time before you'd crave that, since I am not built like him, I cannot give you what you got from him. In all years of our marriage, you never sucked me off, you did it for him because you got something that you couldn't get from me. Now tell me how would you handle this? And imagine how inadequate that makes me feel If I am going to stay married to you!"

She bent forwards placing her face on my feet, crying. I was getting tired of this.

"Crying is not going to save your marriage. You either talk or get out of here. Don't waste my time."

She did not respond, only continued to cry.

"I am not being cruel, I am only stating facts, either talk or get out. This crying is only cementing your selfishness. If you are really sorry use your brains."

She sat up and wiped away her tears. "I am sorry, I just felt like I had not hope, I did not know what to do, I felt my head close in-"

"Welcome to my world. Those and more are what I felt when I found you fucking this afternoon" That shut her up. "I have not heard a 'we' here, and you say you want to save this marriage, which constitutes of two people, which should be we, where is the we?"

"What if we got to counselling?" She asked hopefully.

"Counselling is not going to give me a bigger cock, neither is it going help me grow six feet tall. Both of which are the differentiating factors."

"When I began an affair, I did not want a bigger cock I just wanted a different cock. I wanted to see if there was a difference like my friends said."

"Are you saying that a bigger cock was not better than my average one?"

"I do not love him, I love you."

I sighed. "Do you know what love is? Its thinking of your loved ones before you think about yourself. Now where is your love for me in this affair? and how is your love going to make my cock grow?"

She looked in all possible directions before looking at me. "I felt like I was inadequate, for me. You. Us."

She paused; I did not utter one word because this was the first original word coming from her since this noon.

She continued. "Every time I got together with my friends the conversation would always steer towards sex. How they did something new with their then current boyfriends, the accumulation of this over time made me feel severely inexperienced. I felt that by the time they were married they'd have some much experience that their marriage sex life would be a riot. It didn't help that though our sex life was, is good we did not experiment much. Yes, I could have come to you, should have come to you but, you always treat me with such care that I felt we would never be able to achieve that carefree sex. Learning from experiencing. Not thinking about giving or taking but doing what comes to mind. I knew you'd never do that, so... the affair."

I sat there stunned. Women have the ability to mix up two unrelated things and make it look they always belonged together but this was another level.

I had to ask. "You actually believe what you said?"

Her face expression told me she did, absolutely.

"Let me get this straight. You're saying this affair was a crash course? Crash course to spice up our marital sex life?"

She simply nodded, maybe with a glimmer of hope that I'd understand her reasoning. Her logic was crap, yet I wanted to see how deep it was. I was disgruntled from what I did earlier. I

"How long were you planning to have this so-called sex course?

She looked down and rubbed her hands together before answering. "I hadn't figured that out..."

I rubbed my temples. "If this affair was about you learning to spice up our sex lives how come the sex became less in the last month?"

She faltered. "I didn't expect Robby to be so big. Every time I was with him, I was afraid you'd find out since I felt I had loosened up. Thus, I avoided sex with you once I'd been with him."

She was smartening up, at least on sentence formation level. She avoided the word sex with him. Like that could cover up the disaster!

I shook my head in weariness created by her convoluted logic. "I can't device if you are just dumb or insane or both."

She seemed to be taken aback, but wisely kept silent.

"Let's say your learning experience went on for six months to one year, or more how did you figure I was going to take it you refusing sex with me for extended periods of time?"

Her breathing increased, showing desperation. "But you have never pushed me for sex before. Remember the time I had periods for a month and you were so supportive of me."

I blew out my breath in exasperation. "You were going to misuse my care for you against me!"

She quickly looked away, and stayed silent.

"You do know that your vagina would have become permanently loose after long exposure to python, right? How were you going to explain that?"

"I... I... was... I... don't, not..." she trailed off looking away.

"You were enjoying it too much to think about how it would affect life." I sighed. "Your attempt at reconciliation is only making you dig yourself a deeper grave."

"I can see that." She muttered.

"Going back to my original word, I am sure you'll not be satisfied with me anymore."

"Why do you keep saying that!"

"When was the last time you rode an auto or a bus or a train for that matter? When was the last time you bought anything that was not branded?"

The thing is my wife came from a proper middle-class family. No vehicle of her own, always having to ride with the general public. Every item bought, was bought only when it was within budget. That was all before our marriage. Once married, she quickly adapted to luxurious lifestyle and never looked back.

"Your equipment is not subpar!" She declared with sudden unbelievable conviction. "Yes, I did enjoy my time with him, but he and I had nothing is common, there was no love lost. He was a bit too egoistical-"

"Like you?" I shot back cutting her off.

"What!"

"Like how you interrogated me when I caught you fucking this afternoon?"

"I was desperate, I still am." She admitted running her finger through her hair. "What I am trying to say here is, I am not a size queen. Though I did enjoy what he had, I would not need that to be staple. My staple is love, which only you can do for me."

I had to chuckle she made it sound believable. "So, you want my love, not my money?"

She looked hurt, instantly. "How could you even doubt that!"

That made me laugh, causing her hurt to increase. "Bitch, I have every right to question anything about you, your thoughts, your actions, your inactions. You planned birth control behind my back and had bareback sex with the possibility of exposing us to STD. This goes on show that you are devious and stupid at the same time. If you even succeed in convincing me to let you stay married to me, it will be years before I would be able to trust anything you say. Maybe never. Could you live like that?"

"I will earn your trust back!" She declared with pained determination.

"How do you plan to do that?" I asked wanting to know what kind of muddled Idea she was going to put forth.

"Simply by being amenable to any and all doubts you may have. Every hour of my life will be accounted for henceforth." She said with stronger determination.

I shook my head is weariness. "A marriage is not an office where you double check everything in the name of quality control, a marriage should be based on unconditional love and implicit trust. If I am going to doubt everything you do, I will be miserable. Imagine I am sitting in an important meeting which I cannot get out of and I start having doubts about what you are doing right at the moment? I can't handle it an hour, in your case it might be years before I stop thinking that way, by which time I will be a basket case! Is that what you want?"

Just as I thought I'd thrown her off loop, she gave me a counter proposal I didn't expect. "What if I brought my mother to live with me? I will no longer go out with my friends and if I do go out it will be with either you or her. That way you can rest easy knowing I have someone to watch over me, account for my time without you needing to check up on me every hour." This was the side of her, I let it rule me since our marriage. The side which could win any argument. Its appearance angered me.

Her mother was widow who lived with her son and his wife and their kids. A sweet lady, she has stayed with many times, but never for an extended period time.

"I need a wife, not a criminal with a probation anklet." I said coldly, eliciting a hurt look, which satisfied me. "Look, I have not been happy for some time now owing to your entitled bitch attitude, I convinced myself I was at fault until today. I no longer need a cheating slut to rail road over me anymore."

"I will no longer be a cheating slut, neither will I take anything for granted. I will be the wife I was supposed to be, the wife you deserve. I will make it up to you." She vowed with all the earnestness she could muster.

There is it again -- Making it up to me. "And how do you plan on making it up to me?"

"I just told you, I will be the wife-" She started again only to be stopped by me.

"Those actions are correcting your own deficiencies, you becoming a decent human being. Granted, it will be better for me if do, but how will it give me back all the time I had lost to your selfishness?"

She stared at me, like she was wondering why I was smashing her attempts. Still, she persisted. "I know I can't. But I will be the best version of myself that you will forget a worst version of me ever existed."

"Easier said than done. Just now, how many times did I have to point out the errors in your thought? I no longer have the patience to do that. Hell, why should I do that?" I threw at her.