All Comments on 'Young Minds Ch. 01'

Very erotic, with a surprisingly tender sexuality, but a hint of darkness to come

This is a good start to what could be a top story. Out of curiosity, how many stories have you written? This is very well done with few errors, and that suggests that you are experienced; yet the word usage and tone point to a relatively new author. I’m not saying anything bad, just what your story shows of you. It seems too much of a dry factual account, like a police report, rather then something from the viewpoint of someone who lived it and recalls it fondly. How to fix this is not something that can be explained, it is just something you learn over time.

Still, all in all it is a very good story that got a 5 star rating from me. I look forward to reading more from you.

(^_^)

Blessed Be