All Comments on 'You've Been Served'

Good story!! I'd love to hear Julia's side . . . from wherever she ended up . . . if indeed she ended up anywhere.

We are 5our own worse enemies!

different

Sad , it is all I can say. AAAAAA++++++

Sad tale. But a great story. Very emotional

5stars

Indeed, a great story. But no happy ending, and for that, 4 stars. The Bear read it but didn't like it. Still, a great story. Stupid woman.

The BEAR

The emotions are well expressed both in words and in action of putting divorce paper in casket. Death made the emotions coming out better than what general stories come out in divorce meetings proceedings or counseling sessions. Probably because the wife is dead and was not possible for her to apologize, admit mistake, stupidity, or only partial admission of mistake of getting caught or even hubris of telling "you must accept whatever I do" as happens in other study.

5* 4 u

Original. The divorce papers for St Peter to read is a good touch.

Sad and well written. - Cindy

It's always the kids who are traumatized the most. They will pay the price their entire lives.

Damn - That’s a powerful, heart wrenching short. Unique and well told. 4.8*

Great story of perspective that love never faced and did cause me to reflect on “what if”. Thank you

Excellent story. If you had her be cremated it would have been a real BTB.

Well done.

amadthon wrote, "Excellent story. If you had her be cremated it would have been a real BTB."

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LOL! Then you could stir in the ashes from the divorce papers among her own, and they'd be part of her forever.

Sounds like she fully deserved her death

Damn solid story. He really was in pain and putting the divorce papers in her coffin was stone cold. Great work.

I enjoy your writing, but there's really no closure here. The wife is already dead. We don't see her realize the error of her ways. No happy ending for anyone. It's perhaps realistic, but far too sad for me. Would you consider a companion piece from the wife's perspective? Maybe then we can see what led up to her death and if she ever experienced remorse. I hope she did.

Self-inflicted BTB is the best BTB, especially now that she's not around anymore to cause anyone losses and misery. Even the kids are (as paradoxical and cold as it may sound) are better off with her dead. I wish the story had a happy ending epilogue, with him finding a good woman to help finish raising the kids, but I won't deduct stars for that, since it was after all a short story. And it was well written and well planned. Thanks.

A lovely sad story. It said so much with so few words.

He can’t forgive her for dying? Like she had a choice? She asked to be brutally beaten to death and then smothered, fighting for breath like a dying animal.

This was the literary equivalent of a stoning. An honor killing. It’s almost like you support killing women who commit adultery and I will happily call you and every other commentator on the ridiculous notion that we get what we deserve.

Yes, a sad and thoughtful story. I noticed all your stories were posted in 2023. But I'm positive I read this a few years ago. Is it a re-post? Cheers.

Well written. Give stars.

JPB

Definitely a new one.

Well done and sad.

Lawyer: it will cost extra to serve her, but we have connections Down There

"I saw a lawyer a day after you left but I never managed to give them to you. I suppose I still hoped you would see sense and come home." Useless to act after her death, what was the point ? If he was going to the due divorce he should have acted right then. What an idiot MC.

makes me sad. but a good story very well written.

glad it was short. but it created so much emotion within me.

I do not think it could have created more emotion.

and if the story were longer I think it might have not been as good or as effective.

Sorry, way too stagy to do anything for me. The author is calculating for effect too obviously, and using a deathbed for that seems kind of tasteless.

What a load of crap. The effort the author put into modern teens who live in an age of disposable relationships blaming themselves for the whore mother abandoning them just doesn't ring true. Why would our mc need to produce tears at the funeral? I would hope the envelope is opened to show the divorce papers so everyone in attendance would know where he stood.

A lot of emotion in not a lot of words. Great writing. Thank you for posting.

Sorry, but narration disguised as dialogue is essentially 2nd person perspective, and 2nd person perspective is always awkward.

Brutal. But impactful. “Serving” her in the coffin was a unique twist.

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Usually I hate “2nd person POV” written stories, but this one worked. Good job!

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Strong 4 ****

Risky move, what with the number of lawyers she can find in Hell...

Yeah. What the others said.

Made my heart ache.

MLJ

too bad she only thought of herself

Sad. Well done.

Good story. I enjoyed it. I would suggest another part through the affair and her demise.

Wait! We are missing our hero crying like a baby for weeks on end. Also missing is the one thousand dollar botttle of Scotch he nearly finishes in one night. Otherwise follows the well worn path. And where are the Army Rangers, Navy Seals and the spooks from and unknown government agency? Story incomplete.

Having someone die doesn't seem like much of a story or an excuse for a story. No dialogue or clever scenarios leaves a monologue that goes nowhere.

It would be 5 stars if you had allowed him to take a very elongated supremely torturing revenge on the guy, but still a well written story.

well told story

God will always find a way to even the score. nice story

Touching and haunting story.

Why pretend you forgive her? The MC says himself that he doesn't forgive her for dying. Forgiving her cheating is nothing more than something to make himself feel noble. So long you bloody bitch glad to see the last of you would be on point. The story is well written and deserves 5 stars.

Sad and very well written. Just shows the aftermath of what happens in these sorts of things... the hurt for the kids to have to live with.

Cathartic. RIP.

I wish I wrote that! I knew what would happen in the first paragraph and enjoyed every bit of it! Serving divorce papers on your dead cheating wife is brilliant! Thanks for sharing.

No, doesn't work. The wife ended up being a stupid selfish arrogant heartless monster. Who thinks sub-humans of either gender are that difficult to discern? Do you blame the snake, or the dumb ass who picks it up thinking it is just a pretty stick. The woman described in this story was a psychopath. He got what he married, so he deserved what he got. The kids should be most pissed at the dumb ass who was stupid and blind enough to marry her. Darwin laughs at the alibi's of the self destructive ignorant.

@Whackdoodle - you're dumb. YES, she made choices which most definitely increased her probablility of dying from literally zero, to nearly certain. So yes, she DID have a choice, not to cheat with an aggressive psychopath with a history of abuse. For a less emotionally charged example, imagine he begged her to NOT stick her head into a beehive of angry bees, after which she does of anaphylactic shock. Yes, she ASKED to die by deliberately making a choice to put her health and life in extreme danger DESPITE BEING WARNED.

/

"This was the literary equivalent of a stoning. An honor killing. It’s almost like you support killing women who commit adultery and I will happily call you and every other commentator on the ridiculous notion that we get what we deserve." - fine, call people out, show your true colors as cheating cheerleader and man hater. To prove it, I have a very very simple proposition for you. I'll support NOT stoning adulterers; in exchange for passing a GLOBAL law that a cheating VICTIM spouse immediately gets FREE divorce with ZERO assets going to cheater, 50% or more of cheater's future income going to victim, and kids ALWAYS staying with victim as full custody with cheater getting limited supervized visitation rights, with permission for the victim to allow more at their discretion. I'm 100% sure you won't take that trade, because it isn't about "stoning bad", it's about "fuck over men and cheaters are cool" for you.

"I wonder if you ever realized how much you broke my heart when you began to cheat on me and how much damage you caused."

No, she didn't. They never do.

It's now his job to keep their lives afloat until Mom 2.0 makes her way into their orbit.

Excpt for the confusing misused quotation marks, the story is well told. Please be beter with punctuation so your stories are more fun or emotional to us readers. You can be a better writer like the legends on this site. Keep writing and getting better. Your characters are believable and seem real so your readers can identify with them. Good work.

detroitdave

Well done. I could feel the MC mixed emotions. 5*****

Story brought to mind the many stories and videos from those whom have experienced near death experiences. Only love matters. What you take with you into eternity are your experiences and your love. She does not leave empty handed.

In life, sometimes the monkey wins. You know, the monkey brain over the human, rational loving person. Monkeys fuck, breed. People make love.

I love reading the comments of bitter old women who obviously hate men.

Interesting play of emotions, would love for someone to do a ghost follow up wherever she lands hell or heaven or just stuck in between.

Great story and a very different take.

@Whackdoodle Are you confessing that you are a cheater and are proud of it and think that you should be rewarded for it? Is that why the story resonated with you so much that you needed to comment.

@inka2222 Thank you for the support. I very much appreciate it. Normally I would delete comments like Whackdoodle's but I'm going to leave it because it reflects worse on them than me

I had to go back and search for Whack's comment after seeing readers comment on it. No, this was not some kind of honor killing. The woman made a choice to leave with the wrong man. You have to wonder how those conversations went. And there had to be multiple. Surely the MC did not just 'warn' her that her prospective new lover had a history and provided details.

Then when she finally left he warned her again. But she chose to ignore him to her and her kid's detriment. He (the MC) would not have had a wife because he had already filed for divorce, but the kids might have still had a mother. I gave this sad story 4 stars for a well-written plot. Short and to the point.

Wow. Rare a story that short is that powerful.

As a 40 year survivor of domestic violence (and make no mistake, by the woman leaving her husband to go live with this S.O.B. who ends up killing her, that makes it a case of domestic violence!) I have a perspective on the situation that none of the other commentors have. Was she wrong for leaving her husband for this other "man"? You bet she was wrong, but NO ONE, man or woman, should have to go through a domestic violence type of thing!! my main reason for disliking your story is the P.O.S of a MC that calls "himself" her "husband." To do what he did at her funeral makes him a slimeball of the highest order!!!

Yes, sad, original and powerful, this one.

Time wounds all heels... I mean time heals all wounds. Many will be surprised that kids, even in the previous centuries, remain tenacious little beings.

The hurt and sorrow will be there in the forefront for a while, but over time their memory of the cheating lady dog will fade, they perhaps will seek out another Mother figure, which hopefully will not abandon or disappoint them. They will rely heavily on the Father figure for guidance, hopefully he will be up to the task.

Naw, it is highly unlikely that the kids will grow up and become unbalanced adults, if anything, they will have the blurred memories of the cause of their mothers absence ingrained in their everyday actions, and will most likely never fall into the trap of disrespect towards their 'better half'.

Again, great story line, not too long, no matter what person the narrative conveys the events, score high to the Right.

Thank You!

Very powerful story. Short and to the point. A different kind of ending, not the usual BTB at all. You really showed the gamut of emotions in the distraught husband. 5⭐️

Very emotional story

Definitely outside of the box

I really enjoyed it as it brought emotions to the surface 5 stars

He can pray all he wants. This life is the time to prepare to meet God. She chose to commit the 3rd worst sin there is. She will not be joining her family in Heaven. She will spend Eternity right next to her killer/lover!

ZK

bhill8671 Is wrong. She absolutely did deserve her fate. The punishment for adultery is a humiliating, and painful death. It always has been. Only very recently has “Civilization”, created by rich men who excuse their crimes and sins, punished husbands who attempt to pursue their proper justice.

ZK

Did he replace the rosary in her hands with the divorce papers before they closed he casket? She'll have ample time to study them where she's going. Perhaps, should they meet up yonder, she can discuss the terms with him. Does St. Peter ever mandate counseling before final disposition?

@bhill does domestic abuse or any for that matter only it is when violence is involved? You are so wrong there budddy. 25 yrs marriage n wife cheating n leaving is also a form of abuse, you said in your comment that you wish no person to go thru such domestic abuse, but then again called the victim MC a slimball. I sympathyse of all victims, but violence isn't the only form of abuse, one should acknowledge that.

Nice very sad story! 5 stars from here...

10 Big Blazing Stars for a very interesting story. kept waiting for the "other shoe" to drop, but never did. Broken hearts and broken dreams are hard to "get over" sometimes. Cheating is such a bitter pill to swallow, regardless of who you are. I appreciate the effort you put into writing this story. Thanks, Buster2U

I'm torn, I think the story could have been good if it had been told in a different way. In its current incarnation, I'll have to pass.

Sad but felt real. 5 stars from Xluckylee

If you liked this story you should also read Purgatory to get her story. Does she get forgiveness for her sins ?

The story was pretty good until he started praying that she'd go to heaven and get forgiveness.

She was a cheating wife. God doesn't have much time for sinners that break the 10 commandments.

This should have ended with the cop smiling with satisfaction and muttering: "Burn in hell, whore."

Wow, real downer. Can't even be happy for the cheater. lol

You lost me when your MC is reminiscing at the casket about how he begged her not to leave..Not much of a husband/man you presented him as. IN real life,a husband/man would have HELPED her pack and loaded her car..Fiction is only good if realistic. If you can keep that in mind your future stories might be worth reading. I can't give you a rating as that's as far as I got into your story..JZK..

Since quick clean story. Thanks for your writing.

Not sure why so many critics believe the wages of adultery are death. What about stealing? Or other of the ten commandments?

I could have seen a couple of more paragraphs that will be bruised spur standing next to the casket ⚰️ and try to talk to hubby and allow him to hear your thoughts