All Comments on 'Zai and Tim Pt. 01'

I love checking reality at the door, these are always fun and entertaining stories.

Love it. It is a very good story. AAAAAA++++++

Once again you have given us another great story many thanks keep them coming

Weary synonyms: tired, worn out, exhausted.

Wary synonyms: cautious, careful, on one's guard.

Had the word 'weary' been accidentally used once, I would have forgiven it, but incorrectly using the same word twice in the first quarter of a page isn't an accident. It's ignorance.

The final straw was him performing mouth-to-mouth respiration. Obviously, the vocabulary on this one is extremely weak, or maybe they just didn't want to put the effort in to type resuscitation. It is a great many keystrokes, and surely nobody would notice. Right?

Holy shit Captain, this is one helluva sci-fi smut story! Love it so far. Tim turning out better than expected and a decent human being despite what he had to go through makes him instantly likeable. So far I quite like the Queen being an aristocratic bitch and can't help being drawn to her. I'm givin' her all she's got, captain! :-)

Just please make her fall in love with Tim and give her wide, fertile hips and a voluptuous body befitting the Queen Matriarch.

5 stars coming your way Captain.

PS. the only thing that is slightly distracting is changing POV between characters. I would settle for Tim and A.I. but your creation, your decision.

PLease continue.

You switch perspectives constantly. It's difficult to tell who is saying or thinking what. You have kinda beaten the man-hating thing to death already......

Linguistically? It’s a good story. Plot and concept? Hard pass.

You’re treating women (as a category) like shit in your story. That’s a major buzz kill.

Loving it When I read the description I wasn't sure I'd like it but I did so how's about 5 BIG FAT FLUFFY STARS? Cool! You earned it Stork man, lol.

I'll never quite understand how, on a site just filled with absurd male power fantasies, your stories are always still somehow able to take it up to a whole new level.

Such a Great story to be very honest.

Some of the parts make its really good, such Science Fictional stories have a different feel. The plot and Story were well written.

The only thing I felt a little wrong was that the descriptions and a few parts were a little vague, I had to, at times, go back a couple of sentences to see what happened, little too abrupt. And one other was shifting of POVs, as someone else pointed out. It's difficult to differentiate the 3 sisters, all of them feel like a single person. Maybe if we know a little more about them and their thinking, it would be far better.

Don't take this as a negative comment 4 STARS

Just pointed out a couple of things where I felt it go wrong. Get the next part ASAP, waiting eagerly

Absolutely awesome

Decent story, but there are a few things that just don't work for me. The "action" scenes aren't good. They mostly feel rushed and that breaks my immersion. It's descriptive instead of feeling like you are an active participant. I hope that makes sense to you. Other way of putting it is: this is like a satelite view and you want first person.

There is also very little backstory that explanes the main characters, so they do/can do things and know things without reason.

And then there is the end of the story after they are caught by mom: it's unclear who is taking in some of the dialog. Tammy talkes about herself in the 3rd person? And mom falls for the force field twice? That's unrealistic.

This would be a 3.5 for me but i rounded up. Could become a 5* if you give this first part a rewrite.

please continue

I am not much of a futuristic story type of guy but man I did like this first installment. Great read!

This is one of your BEST stories... not for the sex, but for the story! Character development is almost right off a movie screen in it's best presentation. I can almost see the Tim character played by Chris Pratt!

This is your best story thus far. I’m really enjoying it. Well done!!!

Keep it up, l hope your Muse has lots of chapters in your mind for us to read.

I could just lap this up.

Scores a well deserved 5/5. Next chapter please.

Dear readers please help. I'm interested in reading this, but the last story I read from this author turned out to be a disaster that I hated (Bad girl). Please tell me if the MC is a beta, yes man, doormat, femdom boytoy like that MC so I don't have to suffer through another one. Originally I really liked this author, but after "Sister Wins a Bet with Me" and "Bad girl" I don't trust the author anymore.

Loving it 5 stars !!!!!!!!!!!!

Mary Sue with zero build up.