Zebulon

Zeb was almost feeling better after two hours of intense exercise. Aside from banishing his hangover, his exertions had enabled his humiliation and anger to abate. He had resolved to consummate his visit to the health club with a leisurely sauna and soak in the hot tub just to delay going home.

Zeb was shampooing his hair when he saw the penis walk into the shower. Few men admit that they look, but he was convinced that all men checked it each other out. Most did so for reassurance while only a few others did so to confirm their right to gloat. The owner of the penis was one of the very few men who had a right to gloat. Zed would have recognized that penis anywhere. The menacing mahogany hose dangled between a pair of powerfully muscled thighs. It was the only black penis that Zeb had ever seen that truly conformed to the stereotype that few black men could really measure up to.

Ordinarily; Zeb would have been pleased that the owner of that penis was joining him in the shower. He would have welcomed him and perhaps questioned him about his latest conquest. Leroy was a friend, or used to be a friend. However; Leroy had become a adversary last night at the holiday banquet. Zebulon's wife had become Leroy's most recent conquest.

Zeb struggled to keep his head bowed in an effort to remain anonymous while Leroy showered, but Leroy recognized him. "We need to talk, privately," he said.

Zeb obediently wrapped a towel around himself and followed Leroy to the sauna. The wooden room was mercifully empty.

Leroy was quick to the point. "I owe you an apology. I should not have seduced your wife last night. Not only are you my coworker, you used to be my friend."

Zeb was shocked that Leroy was contrite rather than confrontational. He was even more shocked to find himself being conciliatory. "Perhaps I have no right to be angry. I've always gotten a vicarious thrill out of hearing about your conquests and observing the preludes to the seductions. I used to think that it was funny that you could so easily persuade respectable, married, white women to surrender to you. It is not so funny now that it is my own wife who has parted her pale thighs for you."

Leroy was conciliatory, "I'm sorry that I let things get out of hand. I didn't think that it would go beyond just dancing and innocent flirting. You didn't make any effort to interfere. Unfortunately; your wife is a sexier woman than either of us realized. She inflamed my lusts and I took advantage of her while her judgement was compromised. If it makes you feel any better, I envy you. Your wife is a wonderful woman."

Zeb asked, "what makes you think that my wife is a wonderful woman? She isn't ugly, but she was no Miss America even in her youth."

Leroy explained, "that's an example of the complacency that enables me to seduce so many married, white women. You white husbands simply do not appreciate your wives. Rachael's belly might not be flat or firm and her breasts have become flabby and saggy. However; she has birthed and nursed four babies. You have no idea how sexy that is."

"If you think that a married mother is so sexy, why don't you get married and have babies with your own wife."

Leroy was silent for a while before he answered. "I don't get married because I'm black and because I measure up to the stereotype. You would understand that this is a good reason if people weren't to hung up to talk honestly about race. The stereotype of the unwed, black mother is no racist illusion. Welfare reform has motivated black women to have fewer children and have their children later in life, but the percentage of black women giving birth out of wedlock continues to increase. Do you remember that Saturday Night Live sketch of Eddie Murphy spoofing Mister Rogers? Remember that line 'can you spell bastard?' We've gotten so politically correct that not even a black man could get away with asking that question. However; about three quarters of black babies born today are bastards."

Zeb stared at Leroy in amazement as his former friend continued. "It wasn't always this way. There was a time when black people had lower divorce rates and lower out of wedlock birth rates than white people. We honored your Judeo Christian morality even more than you did because of racism. We were at a disadvantage simply because we were black. As my grandfather once explained, getting married and staying married was the only way we could give our children a chance to succeed. Unfortunately; the liberals invented welfare. It was a program that had the effect if not the intent to motivate black women to ditch their husbands. It didn't effect white people much at first because the average white guy could earn a wage that was better than a welfare check. Unfortunately; blacks and especially black men, suffered from discrimination which made it difficult for us to earn a living that could compete with a welfare check."

"The leaders of the African American community will not admit it, but racism is no longer a serious problem. I can not remember the last time that someone other than a black person used the word 'nigger' in my presence much less called me one," Leroy confided. "Our biggest problem is that most black children grow up without a father to guide them and protect them, if they survive to grow up. At best, black children get a stepfather or mother's boyfriend who resents them. As a result, black children are at much greater risk of being abused, emotionally, physically and sexually."

"That is just a bunch of racist crap," Zeb protested.

"No it isn't," Leroy insisted. "Check out the FBI homicide data. The specter of young children getting gunned down by anonymous psychopath armed with an assault rifle is just a convenient scapegoat for the gun control lobby. The vast majority of young children who are murdered are beaten, bludgeoned, strangled, burned, stabbed or drowned by their mothers, mother's boyfriend, step fathers, older step brothers and rarely biological fathers. Black babies are five times as likely to be murdered as white babies. The relative risk used to be even greater before welfare reform. A human is at greatest risk of being murdered when they are a new born. Their risk of being murdered decreases only gradually as they become infants, toddlers and preschoolers. However; only teenaged, black males are at greater risk of being murdered than children who are less than a year old."

Leroy leaned back against the wall of the sauna, causing his towel to gape open before he continued. "Life is usually dangerous for young, black girls. Life remains dangerous for black girls when they hit puberty because they are at such risk of being raped, usually by their mother's boyfriend. Young white girls are not immune to these pathologies, but they are more likely to have a father to protect them.

Life gets even worse for black, males when they become teenagers and young adults. If they survive being abused physically , emotionally and sexually as children, puberty thrusts them into a Darwinian struggle for access to women. Most young, black males are compelled to engage in this struggle without a father to guide them. For most of us, our only role models are professional athletes and rappers who glorify the thug life style. The struggle is all the more intense because few black men have much hope of becoming husbands and fathers of their own children. Many of us don't survive this struggle."

"That's because there are to many guns flooding the streets, especially assault rifles," Zeb protested.

"That's just more, politically correct crap," Leroy proclaimed. "Check the FBI crime statistics, but from before Obama had Loretta Lynch and Eric Holder sanitize them. The number and percentage of homicides committed with rifles, or shotguns for that matter, has been going down for decades. Black people are only one-eighth of the American population, yet we commit over half of all murders and nearly two-thirds of all gun homicides. I know a criminologists who analyzes the Supplementary Homicide Reports. That's a big, thick, over one thousand page computer printout that lists every homicide in the country. That is of course except the killings by police that the police do not want to talk about. Black people almost never kill or get killed with rifles of any type, much less assault rifles. The image of a gang banger armed with an Uzi is just racist propaganda. That is why it took the police so long to catch the beltway sniper. They never expected a young black man to be shooting people at random with a rifle, much less shoot accurately with a military caliber from a moderate distance. It is you white guys who grow up with fathers who teach you how to shoot. That is why those mass cop killings back in twenty-sixteen were such a shock."

Leroy continued to lounge with his genitals exposed. His towel even fell loose as he continued. "The reputation that black men have for having really big penises is greatly exaggerated. While there seems to be some statistical correlation, most of us are not much bigger than the average white man. As best as I can determine, I am in the top one-tenth of one percent, even among black men. However; the average black nan's testicles are about twice as big as the average white man's testicles. Our testosterone levels are higher as a result which makes us more aggressive. Forcing us to compete in an unrestrained contest for access to females guarantees conflict."

Zebulon asked, "if the competition is so dangerous, why don't black men just get married?"

"Black men don't get married for a lot of reasons. Even with welfare reform, black women tend to have stringent standards about what men they consider marriageable. A black woman will seldom marry a man who works a blue collar job or is in the military. They want a black man who is a high earning professional. Black men are also reluctant to marry because it's dangerous. Not only are our rates of random killings greater, our risk of domestic homicide is much higher than for white people," Leroy lectured.

Leroy leaned forward to whisper conspirationally, "I'll let you in on a secret. Black men are scared shitless of black women. Aside from the killings of young children, most domestic homicides among white people are husbands killing their wives. Among black people, wives are far more likely to kill their husbands than husbands killing their wives. Once a black man has survived being a newborn, infant and toddler, then his teenaged and young adult years, his odds of survival become pretty good. However; getting married significantly reduces his odds of survival. Trying to have a wife and children is more dangerous than remaining single. This is why so many successful, wealthy and famous black men marry white women. White women are far less likely to kill us."

"You seem to be speaking from personal experience," Zeb speculated.

"I am," Leroy confided. "I inherited my penis from my father. My father believed that since God had blessed him, he should share that blessing with as many women as possible. My mother disagreed. She put up and shut up for a long time. Then when I was twelve years old, she decided that she had finally had enough. My dad had gotten arrested for severely beating the irate husband of his latest conquest. She decided to end his philandering. She even used a racially stereotypically, Saturday Night Special. One would think that a little twenty-five caliber mouse pistol would not phase a man like me. However; she emptied the entire clip into his groin at close range."

"My God," exclaimed Zeb. "It must have been horrible when you were told that your mom had killed your dad!"

"No one had to tell me," Leroy explained. "I actually saw it. I was the star witness for the prosecution."

Zeb asked, "so why have you made it your avocation to seduce married, white women?"

"It is really very simple Darwinism. If I married a black woman, I would probably be able have one, may be two children with her. I might be able to have one or two on the side if I was willing to risk having my wife murder me," Leroy explained. "If I remain single and date black women, I am stuck with the Darwinian competition as well as risk being bankrupted by child support decrees. Dating single white women would be safer, but paying child support would be even more expensive. Judges tend to be a bit vindictive towards black men who impregnate white women."

Zeb asked incredulously, "so how is seducing married, white women any better than dating single women?"

"Very simple. You remember that old adage, 'Gas, Grass or Ass, no one rides for free?' Riding another man's wife is the only exception. Almost all states have presumption of paternity laws. This means that the courts will hold a husband financially responsible for any children that are born to his wife even if he can prove that he is not their biological father," Leroy explained. "I've seduced dozens of married , white women. Most of them were amazingly sanguine about contraception. More than a few of them became pregnant during the time that they were having an affair with me. Less than half of these woman got an abortion."

Zebulon did the math in his head. "You mean that you've sired at least half a dozen babies with married, white wives?"

"Yes," Leroy gloated. "I'm ashamed to admit it, but two of the white wives that became pregnant during their affair with me gave birth to a white baby who was almost certainly their husbands."

Zeb contemplated the implications before asking, "so how is life for your children going to be better if impregnate a married, white wife? Her humiliated and irate husband will just divorce her, then she will be a single mom."

Leroy became more philosophical as he explained, "life is not as difficult and dangerous for a half black baby raised by a divorced white, woman than for a single, black woman. If the couple were affluent before the divorce, and I'm always careful to seduce wives who are well off, then my baby will be well provided for. Also, you would be amazed at how many white husbands will acquiesce to being cuckolded by remaining married to a cheating wife. I've noticed that this doesn't happen with younger couples, especially if they have no children. Not many married men are delusional enough to believe that they can start over again and have a new family when they are in their forties or fifties. This is why I favor more mature, married mothers."

Zebulon was aghast at Leroy's predatory philosophy. Unfortunately; he could not dispute the logic. He finally asked the question that had been tormenting him all morning. "Did some vestige of fidelity motivate my wife to have you wear a condom or at least pull out?"

"No," Leroy answered. "Your wife actually refused my offer to wear a condom. While she did express anxiety about the risk of pregnancy, when the moment of truth arrived she just wrapped her legs around me so tightly that I wouldn't have been able to pull out if I had wanted to. I probably inseminated her half a dozen times last night and this morning. What do you two use for birth control?"

"My wife nagged me into getting a vasectomy about five years ago," Zeb confided.

"You're screwed," Leroy said. "However; it might make you feel better to go home and inseminate your wife. I bet that she will be very contrite and willing to indulge your kinkier desires to appease you."

Zebulon got up, wrapped his towel around himself and headed for his locker. Leroy had given him a lot to contemplate.