All Comments on 'Zero Fifty or One Hundred, a sequel'

Is her husband really worth it because the last time I checked, no one is perfect, everyone's shit stinks and we are all selfish. So why abase yourself to remain married?

Nope, out of all the continuations, this is the worst one.

Lame!

Those who can, do. Those who can't, critique. Welcome back, StrangeLife. Next time, don't stay away so long.

i liked it. lets see how far ya can take this.

Trust this author to turn a btb story into a spy thriller instead of yet another sad and butthurt revenge ending.

The original writer asked for alternative endings, and he got one. The most alternative Ive read so far, including his own. Its a well written short story using the original setup and turning it in a completely different direction. Naturally it wont please the btb lovers, but they should know better than expecting the expected from a Strange story.

If I must nitpick there wasn't a lot of sex in it. But then again this writer is not known for writing wanking material.

Well, you did it again. Great job. Not sure I enjoyed it all that much, but it is a very "strange" take on the story.

Thanks for writing it, and keep on writing.

Very Good Job, however, I see someone writing the final chapter someday soon. It will be the one that lets Bob and Sharon call on their "backgrounds" to realize they were set up by the "friends" who suddenly moved away after trying to turn them against each other. Then renewing some old connections to handle both The Colonel (Who gives a damn about nobody but himself) and track down the former friends Vickie and Ron and end their lucrative hobby. Look out Vickie, the sharks are coming and they never stop swimming.

As usual I'm writing these as I go.

"She saw everything in black or white" - When it comes to marital fidelity everything IS black and white! You are either faithful or you're not.

"If Bob were to confront Luke, everything could easily be over right there and then." - Why? If she's done nothing wrong how can Bob confronting Luke hurt anything?

"This is not what it seems" - They always say that! It SEEMS like you were planning a romantic dinner with a possible bed partner.

Nobody notices the shotgun? Even a sawed-off shotgun isn't easily hid!

I'm not buying the stupid cloak-and-dagger stuff! Since she KNEW the charges were bogus she could have had them dropped with no affect on Bob's clearance or have Brad brought up on charges that would ruin his career. As for bugs, did she ever hear of pen and paper?

Overall? Meh.

So, you consider being faithful to your husband as being a slave?

I suppose you're equally sanguine about the husband having lovers also, right?

Yeah, didn't think so!

Yeah, I like it!

I didn't care for the spy plot, but if we're going to have it then extreme revenge on Brad, Vicki and Ron is definitely called for.

And just as a by the way, how did Ron pull of the marriage counselor cover? You need licensing and such for that.

Absolutely ridiculous.

I don't know why these "spy thriller" stories seem to have become popular in LW, but they are generally crap, and this was not an exception. If you had to write a sequel, why didn't you stay with the original characters? And if you felt compelled to write a "spy thriller", why didn't you delete it from your hard drive prior to posting? 1 star, and feel lucky there is no "zero" star.

As I read this I thought the plot was something my thirteen year-old grandson would come up with. I could understand Luke holding a pistol under the table, but a shotgun? Did he wear a big raincoat into the restaurant? If so, he would have had to keep it on to hid the weapon. Suspicious? No, apparently not at all.

I gave it two stars and even that was generous. The writing was fine, but the story just bizarre.

# 1

Spy story this was not. Gave you a one

You gave it a shot,no one else has. Good for you. Writing was passable, story uninspiring.

You have NO idea how happy I was to see ANOTHER alternate ending to this story! Ahazura's original is perhaps the most influential story in Loving Wives history! I laughed so hard throughout this story, and I sincerely hope that was the intention.

This proves, once again, that writers don't have to stick to the paint-by-numbers script. There are many, many creative ways to finish a story if only we give it an ounce of imaginative thought.

THANK YOU for bringing a smile to my face on this Sunday morning!

Despite the negative reviews, I liked it. I thought the ending had a few clever twists and turns that were downright fun to read. Thanks.

What an incredible imagination. You should write for DC. God knows they need help.

I'd rather have a good paint-by-numbers than a lame original.

I'm not looking for War and Peace here. Or even The Sum of All Fears. It's plausible, it the layman and it's entertaining.

Good job.

Really doesn't mesh with original story.

Wife in original was portrayed as way to feminine for the background this sequel speaks of.

Just like most sequels when taken up by different writers and producers; they mess it up and can ruin the story/franchise.

As just a simple reader I appreciate the offered literary piece but, would have to recommend that after it being so long from the original posting; it may have been more advantageous if writer had just written his own story. Again, the characters presented here are so far removed & different from the original story it made little to no sense and lacks a certain amount of common sense.

Really, like someone else posted you could apply to Marvel or DC as a writer; all this story is missing is a superhero, as it already has clandestine operatives & para-military organizations...

The wife and Vicki, smart, strong, dangerous.

That fact alone should enrage the BTB criwd. Plus no infidelity?

You should have let the one be. 1 star.

Sorry, you went way off track. Need more then a 2 sentences from the original to make it a sequel..

If a guy was going to somehow carry a pump shotgun into a dinner and use it to threaten or kill someone, he would already have a shell chambered and not attract undue attention by working the action while inside. Then he would have to stuff it back under his overcoat to leave the building which would give his captives a chance to flee. She could have explained to her husband what was going on as they approached the restaurant, rather than take hubby to a situation where he would very possibly be killed. That should have been the last choice. Blowing her cover, as well as the thug, would be better than leading her husband to his death. Finally, if a guy learns that his wife had suddenly begun very dangerous covert activities, he would likely be pissed.

It is kind of a cult thing on LW now... new endings to this story are either dramatic, comical, well thought out, or complete trash. You never know what is coming or cumming...

I applaud this one for being so off the wall. The shotgun in TGI fridays was a bit over the top and not believable. But as in a cult offering. It was an ending like in a Tarantino movie.

Had no idea that was coming. Good job! Thanks for another excellent addition to the Zero, Fifty, One Hundred challenge.

Kind of how I felt, reading this so-called "sequel." Thanks for the effort.

of how commenters scream for originality, but when you produce it, they slam it.

Well done Sir. Imaginative and very well written. I hope my score does a little to raise the overall, closer to where it belongs.

Good twist on that story, I have read the original and several of the revisions from other authors and this took on a twist I would not have expected. Original and nice work. 5 Star

If it was really all that important, why didn't you help and include a link? Whether it is easy or not for the reader to find this is immaterial. You knew it, you required it for your story to make sense, so the "burden" was on you and you alone.

That was like reading a story about a dramatic day at the park and then finding out half way through that the pond at the park is full of flying sharks.

Five stars for originality and entertainment, lost two for not making a lot of sense since super spy Sharon comes off as kind of a moron.

A sequel that took us all by surprise...This writer turned the tables completely and with a lot of imagination showed a funny and well written sequel...4*

You raised the bar for the original characters quite a bit but your story was entertaining and well written. Kudos.

With this alternate end, the

whole saga is changed.

Like "True Lies" with the roles

reversed. Well done!

Good work, Thanks for your creative solution.

For the read.

This option was not included in original premise. Good try but for me it's a NO

The only connection with original story is the names of characters. At least make the sequels a tiny bit realistic. Sharon in original story was 31 yrs old--been with Bob for 10 yrs-- hmmm? when did she have time to be a Captain in intelligence? This pile should be in some other category--horror??-- not in LW.

Level upon level of absurdity...I liked it!!

by being absurd? The whole catalog of absurd solutions except superheroes seems to have been brought to bear on this scenario now. Somebody wanna bring Iron Man or Batman in to help out the little wifey on this one next?

3*s for effort.

Total trash

absurd shit.

Oh man. You are both a talented writer and a crazy son of a bitch. A perfect combo. Thanks for surprising me with something different :)

5 from me. Please keep 'em cumming.

Humorless change up. I feel like, to quote Rodney Dangerfield, "I went to a fight last night, and suddenly a hockey game broke out."

Story gave me whiplash from all the twists. This had nothing whatsoever to do with the original.

You can't legitimately blame the audience, however. You mixed at least three concentric storyline theme....like pulling several rabbits out of a hat.

The hat trick is one of the oldest obfuscatory magic tricks in the business. As usual, sophistry, showmanship and misdirection sit at the core of the trick and are critical to its success. If anything is amiss, the trick fails to delight.

So, here, you brought too many themes together in one place to provide consistency in your addition and concurrency and fidelity to the original.

Shame, shame. It seems you thought you were going to rock us your, conspiracy, piracy, spy super-heroine action/adventure, international thieves drama.

Nope. Sorry, it failed to hold together well enough to be believable on any level. Since you provided no means for your audience to suspend incredulity, you left yourself open to more criticism than you deserve.

By the way, no well-educated Enginner/researcher/project manager I know of, uses atrocious grammar when expressing themselves yet your character did...repeatedly.

Sorry, I cannot rate this very highly...it was a mess. But I agree you were courageous to try something in this forum.

all the odds are against the bettor. TK U MLJ LV NV

Are you serious with this shit?! This crap stinks so much it's steaming!

What a fucking waste of time reading this stinkin' pile was!

No redeeming features!

That's all folks.

Okay. Maybe I'm stupid. No actually just don't care about anything in this story. Over the top outlandish plot with a "surprise" twist. One of which were plausible. It was just stupid.

My as well have the Millenium Falcon pick them up.

Yawn.

And I really get tired of the Hollywood superwoman trope. Yeah, she's a badass military operative just like the three "Mommy Rangers" are badass Rangers. But, hell, we'll believe anything these days...wait...I'm feeling pretty...I must be a girl.

And Vicky... superbe twist. All a bit unbelievable, but yet — funny.

5-stars & Favorite

so where is the ending

Ooooohhh. I liked this ending much better. Always good to have a spy in the ointment, and this time it looks like the bad (political) guys win, even if Sharon and hubby get to stay together and play sex games.

Everyone well almost everyone is some super spy

Now looking for 007

But baby I was BORED, surely that is reason enough to risk our lives and possibly get our daughter murdered by terrorists

I know LW is meant to be fiction, but this was beyond even that, complete crap

zero star

Tongue in cheek, l liked it.

Scores 4/5

Bob is the only one in the story who wasn't an airborne Ranger Seal super spy.

3*s. completely out of left field, and once again the chinks, or russes or muslim scum have out military secrets to develop even as we strart to develop. what is the mater w/ theis country? we leak info and data and secrets like there is nothing in place to prevent it and we home grow so many anti democrat anti american traitors that we produce more than the rest of the world combined. It cant just be the elitist hi education intellectual non elitists?

Excellent sequel. 5 BIG FAT STARS!

THAT was fucking stoooopid.

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1 *

Boring, Stupid and waste of time. A good story with a badass wife and then as per usual on this site a crap non ending.

Wow. You tried for James Bond and got Austin Powers. One of the worst second author sequels I have read on here.

I’m sure you meant well, but this went completely off of the rails. KS

Our sorry assed mania for secrets/lies has sunk to the very bottom of our collective psyche where it suppurates into fecalized effluvia that floats to the surface in stories like this one. In order to keep a single secret, one must tell many lies. Counter intelligence is ignorance. Ignorance is bliss. Oo-rah!

Well she is a two timing selfish woman, pulling a stunt like that on a spouse.

She is not trustworthy , just a vie deceiving woman

Interesting choices you’ve made for a sequel. You couldn’t have made Sharon a deep-cover alien, running an android human body to catch a Xantoid mass-murderer who committed his crimes on 7263-Cygnus-C?

That would make about as much sense as this.

WTF did I just read half-way through?!

Stupid and pointless.

Her undercover shit was weird enough, but the ending was just shitty.

No vote how did this terrible piece of crap ever make it into the top 250 of reconciliation stories

THAT was mind numbing STUPID!

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The biggest problem with any sequel like this is basing the continuation on info that readers had not even a hint of from the original…in this case that Sharon was some sort of undercover agent of some kind. Just ridiculous.

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1 *

How do you spell C-R-A-P? I will vote 1 just so as to record my disdain for this garbage.