Gift of Domination

In partial response to some commentary I have received, I will step again upon the soap box.

Who really has the power in the M/s or D/s lifestyle? That is a tough one, tackled and owned by either side depending on who you ask, though it does raise more questions. Is one end of the paddle more important or valuable than the other? Does one side of the chain exist simply for the purpose of another? Somehow, I can't see it that way. Like any good relationship or partnership, it's a split between component parts, the sum total being greater than the single elements, though enriched by all. A dominant personality needs their match in a submissive one, and vice versa, to equate balance in a good relationship of whatever kind. Unless you enjoy constant head bashing. One without the other tends to be unfulfilled and unhappy, or at least used to fireworks on the homefront.

So where is the power? Simply enough, on either side, for the sole reason that each needs the other. Where there is need, there is a vulnerability to the thing needed. Some of us revel in this, and others have to take control of it. Need is still there, whether you are on the bottom, the top, or take turns playing either. We are all looking for something or someone to fill a need within us, and a need should never be taken for granted, or allotted to a mere convenience as though it existed just to be of use.

To sum up the theme of one of the best sites I have come across, we are each enriched by the other, and do require that other yet equal component in our lives. A submissive's gift is a gift, as they offer of themselves to the greatest degree of their nature. A Dominant gives as well, very greatly in a good one, and do, as was pointed out to me, have a great responsibility not only to respect that gift, but also their own. Each is an oft times better half of the other, and should be treated as such.

Unfortunately, their are creeps on both sides of the whip. I have read so much about subs topping from the bottom, and have spoken with my Master regarding past slaves that did this very thing. Breaking rules just for attention they thought they should have, be it a good spanking or being made a plant in the corner, rather than bowing to the dictates of their Master. There are also many Doms who simply assume a slave is a spineless piece of baggage with no more value than whatever pleasure can be beaten out of them. Bad boys and girls on either end of the lifestyle stick.

We all have a hole to fill, figuratively or literally, and should not assume we are the only or best part of any relationship. Just like a family, a marriage, or among friends, we are not the whole world, and acting like the sun shines just on yourself tends to make sure no one wants to hang out on your planet, nevermind actually live there. Respect your Dom/me, they are probably busting their chops to bring about your fantasies and keep you well. If not, run. Respect your sub, as they are likely truly giving you everything they are and have. If not, maybe you need to get some new baggage.

As many of us like to think we know it all, have done it all, or seen it all, I hate to point out that you are full of it. I have been and done and seen and I'm still clueless about most of it. I think anyone honest will find they are in the same boat. We can't always put the shoe on the other foot, but those of us lucky enough to take a poke at the other end, may find it a very refreshing and enlightening experience.

I would not say I am a switch, far from it, though I am sadly not as completely slavish as my Master wished. I have toddled out of a slave's role and called a few shots for another, and found it more than gratifying. I lack the strength or confidence to truly dominate, as I am simply that submissive in nearly every aspect of my life, but I can rise to the occasion when faced with someone more like to a slave than I have proven to be. Nature does abhor a vacuum, and I have a knack for rising or falling as situations require.

If you are similarly constructed, than viewing your opposite from their side of the equation may bring you into a better understanding of not only their part in your life, but how great a need you fill for them. We can't all dive or switch, but making even a mental effort at that shoe may pay off greatly. And if you have done, or have no plan to, then do make sure you are not taking your better half for granted. No one exists only to take up convenient space for someone else. That smiling plant stand in the corner may love being there, but they also chose to be there. That dashing leather-clad figure with the singing whip may be waiting to apply the instrument of their whim upon a nicely turned backside, but it is still their choice, their pleasure, and that should never be forgotten.

Look across from you, whether it be at your feet or standing tall, and always be thankful for the wonder that your opposite number gives you. It is a gift, a great and beautiful one, deserving of your best in return. That is not just your property or just the point of your worship, that is a person, with needs and dreams of their own. That person is giving you more than just time, effort, their heart or soul. That person fills your need, joins you in something mutually blissful, and works to make you happy.

Any needed thing is precious beyond words. Please act accordingly.