- Erotic Poetry
- Jewelry
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I cannot leave even any gem
beneath your pillow,
nor hide one in that cup you use for tea.
To loop a pendant over the mirror
as you shower
and write my love for you in fog
is impossible. You see,
all I can give you is words—
some semi-precious stones
left on a beach
we will never walk together.
Yet will I still write your name in that sand.
- COMMENTS
buttersabout 12 years agoclear visuals, easily reaches out emotionally. my only issue is with that last line - 'yet will I still write' feels a little awkward to me, like a question but lacking the implied question mark ... not even coming across as a rhetorical question to me. sorry if i'm not getting it, T. it'd read smoother as a declaration (if not intended as a question) as 'yet still I'll write your name in that (extra syllable) sand.'
PandoraGlittersabout 12 years agoEnjoyed this on the forum, too. Glad to see that others will get a chance to read it.
WillowedCabinabout 12 years agoBut came back in the afternoon to say thank you.
SweetOblivionabout 12 years agoMost enjoyable too - a great read. Sweet O.
