Patience is hard, sometimes unbearable.
I cannot think like that.
I must have patience.
Things come to those who wait, right?
How do know you waited long enough before your hope becomes an unrealistic hope?
I have always lived in a daydream state to be happy.
I don't want that anymore.
I want to be happy enough to be grounded.
Is that so terrible?
To some it will be.
I shouldn't have to live my life making others happy.
This is MY life.
In 50 years from now I do not want to be somebody I am not.
If I really think about it no body lives their life to make me happy.
So why should I?
Why is it so hard for me to live for me?
I know why.
I will lose almost everything.
Everything except myself.
I know if I live for me I will be truly happy, something I have never been.
I am not sure I am ready to lose the people I love.
If only their love was enough to keep them around.
Sadly life is not that easy.
I need to make a choice.