tagHumor & SatireDead Battery Ch. 01

Dead Battery Ch. 01



Dan took a quick look at the map he had printed from the computer, confirming the exact location of his next service call. After visualizing the route he was going to take, he started up his engine, making sure it started without hesitation, and then he pulled out onto Main Street. It wasn't a very far drive for him so hopefully the call wouldn't be a problem and he just might make it home early.

It was an apparent dead battery he was chasing down, so it could be something as easy as a quick jump or it may entail a tow into a nearby repair shop if it turned out to be something more serious. With a battery you never could really tell, it might be the battery went bad and simply needs to be replaced, or perhaps the alternator was the problem and the driver might need a new alternator and a battery. For that matter, it could be the starter or the driver might be out of gas and simply killed the battery by trying to start an engine without gas. All the scenarios rolled though Dan's mind as he turned from Main onto Fifth Street heading south.

Driving about four blocks he turned left onto Fairfield and after waiting through an impossibly long light he drove about another half block and pulled into a shopping center parking lot. Spotting the white Beemer parked in a distant corner of the lot, he sighed in relief, glad no one was parked nearby to block his truck. Pulling up to the front of the car he hopped out and nodded to the lady sitting behind the steering wheel.

"Anthony's Service ma'am, you have a dead battery?" he called out walking across the small space he left between his truck and the front of her car.

She opened the door and climbed out. Dan had to fight from taking a double take when he noticed the low cut blouse and short, shorts she had on. Focusing on her face he smiled, pleased with her pretty brown eyes and short nose. Her dark brown hair curled down onto her shoulders drawing his gaze back down to her cleavage.

"Yes, it just won't start now," she replied.

"You mind if I try? That way I'll see how bad it is and whether my truck can give it a jump," Dan said. When she nodded and stepped back, he squeezed into her seat and reached for the keys, noticing a strange device in the seat next to him. It looked like a box with a long cord attached to a strange colored glass globe, there was another plug shoved into the power outlet. Looking at the switch on the device, he could see it was switched off.

He turned the key and got nothing. Well, the first step was to try and jump it. He reached down and pulled on the hood release. Climbing out of the car he said, "Well, we'll start with the battery and see if I can jump it."

"Do you need me to do anything?" the woman asked.

"Well, when I start my engine and then rev it, you need to switch it on and see if it starts, okay?"

"Sounds good, wait until you rev the engine and then I turn it on and see what happens."

"That's right," and then noticing it was starting to get dark he continued, "Make sure you don't turn on your lights or anything just yet."

She nodded as Dan grabbed the power leads on the roller attached to his front grille and attached one to her battery and one to one of the engine brackets. He then climbed into his truck and started the engine, letting it idle for a few minutes. Glancing through the open space beneath the open hood and the car, he confirmed she was sitting behind the wheel. Putting his foot on the accelerator he slowly pressed it to the floor hearing his engine roar loudly. He did this several more times but didn't hear anything from her car.

"Well, those Beemers can be quiet," he said to himself, revving he engine once again, but this time he leaned over and looked toward the car. There was a strange purple light glowing from the inside of the car. "What the hell," he said pulling his foot from the accelerator and letting the truck idle. The purple glow dimmed some, but didn't go out so he stepped out of the car.

He heard some moaning coming from the car and noticed it bouncing up and down a bit. Afraid he had somehow electrocuted the woman he rushed to the passenger side and looked in the window. In the light of the purple glow he saw her with her legs spread wide and her shorts and panties pulled aside. She was sliding the strange round globe that was now glowing with a purple light up and down over her pussy lips.

The woman looked up at him lustfully and shouted, "Rev up that engine again, please."


"Rev that damn engine now," she groaned in desperation.

Dan rushed back to his truck and floored it, hearing his engine roar. Looking at the car he watched it bounce up and down and then roll from side to side. Above the sound of the engine he thought he could hear the faintest sound of a woman moaning. He kept his truck floored for about thirty seconds and then he noticed the purple light go out.

Climbing out of his truck he returned to the passenger window and saw the woman slouched back in her seat breathing hard. Opening the door he asked, "Are you alright ma'am?"

Looking up at him with a completely contented look in her eyes she said, "Oh yes, I'm great. But what about my car?"

"Well ma'am I guess I wasn't entirely clear. When I rev up my engine you need to try to start your car, not that thing..."

"Velvet wand."

"Excuse me?"

"That thing there is a velvet wand," she said, reaching for her car keys. "Okay are we ready?"

"Okay, just wait until I rev the engine," Dan replied. He moved back to his truck and pushed the accelerator again. He then heard the car crank once, and then it started. Leaping out of the truck he move to the car door and said, "Now, kept your accelerator pressed just a little while I disconnect you."

He moved to the front of the car, unhooked the clamp from the battery and then the one from the engine brace. After rolling up the jumper cables he walked over to the driver's side and said, "Okay, I need to get your auto club number."

She handed him a card and he walked back to his truck. After finishing the paperwork he came back, handed her a receipt and said, "Ma'am, it started right up so I'm guessing the power just ran down, did you leave the lights on or something?"

She shook her head, "No."

"What about that wand thing?"

"The velvet wand, well I did have that on."

"With the car turned off?"

"Yes," she said, blushing a bit.

"Ah ma'am, in the future, when you are inclined to use that thing while in the car, perhaps you should leave the engine running."

"Oh yeah, I learned my lesson, especially about revving the engine."

"You might want to keep an eye on everything, just in case. Would you like me to follow you to a service station or something?"

"No, I think I'll be okay."

"Have an nice evening ma'am," Dan said, closing the hood to the Beemer and then climbing back into his truck. He backed up and pulled away noticing that, although the woman's engine was running she wasn't backing out. He came to a stop before pulling into the street and listened. In the background he could hear the sound of an engine revving.


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