All Comments on 'Unintended Consequences Ch. 02'

very good! very very good! to be completely honest with you, u had some issues with phrasing here and there but its very good!

I completely skipped the sex scenes after the 1st one, (dont get me wrong, ofc i read them after i was done with ur story), just to keep up with the story! keep going with this!

I think now that Zane and Adam have done a lot of sex; they need to do other things. He has cummed on her boobs or butt..... she hasn't jerked him off on her face etc. Maybe, he will do something with his Mom when he gets home; so she'll understand how big he is and his stamina. That way she'll appreciate why Zane is all over him and lets it happen. It feels so wonderful.

Cannot wait for the next chapter. Thank you.

This chapter was so very hot. It seems you are writing a more erotic story than most other authors. I love the attention to detail to both characters and plot. I can not wait until your next chapter.

The love between is great please please come out with the next chapter

Write some more on these two.

I think the waiting time is being the mood spoiler here...awesome story and extremely well narrated.. Please post the next chapter soon

Thanks for all the comments, feedback, encouragement and critiques on this and the other story! We have been working with GrandTeton to get these edited. Just posted the edits to this one, so they should be live in a week or so. Working on chapters for both <b>Unintended Consequences</b> and <b>Empty Nesters</b>, however, a different story might get posted first.

Love this romance story. It doesn't matter that it's a brother-sister romance. Love that the mom is cool with their relationship, but we all knows she's cool cuz she messed with her bro too. Maybe a lil of the mom n her bro. Mmm

I love how you can look at the two different stories as different points of view of the same story. And it's not blatant always mentioning something from the other story but the small pieces every once in a while that make you remember the other story is great.

Fantastic story. Please continue with this story.

Your ability to communicate emotion is truly exceptional, causing me by turns to laugh out loud or get teary all eyed. You also manage to make the sex graphic without dragging it out with unnecessary detail and distracting from those emotions. You are an exceptional author or erotica.

Love this story. This story is so heartfelt and romantic I wonder if it's a true story. I cant wait to read what happens next. The marriage can easily take place in Las Vegas with no one wanting blood test and the like. As a romantic I want to see the happily ever after story line, marriage then kids and of course happily ever after together

Such an emotional catharsis - stunningly beautiful.

Thank you.

Here is my feedback:

1. As someone mentioned, eating and tipping generously is a little distracting. Nobody wants to think about hunger in the world or how waiters earn a little etc.

2. You jump to sex and open relationship too fast. It's fantasy, but it's good if it's more realistic. It's hard to imagine related people just getting so involved right away. This section is all about excitement of crossing the line. You cross the line too fast.

3. More teasing is needed. It's again related to 2nd point. Going to honeymoon, living together etc. are for the end of the story, unless those situations lead them into such relationships.

4. They do it too many times in one session, unrealistic.

Can't wait to see what will happen next...

Funny, I loved the first chapter when it came out, but didn't catch this one til now. It was certainly worth waiting for. Now I just hope Ch3 will show up before long. Please MindsMirror, don't leave us hanging.

Based on your comments at the beginnings referencing each of your other stories, I am looking forward to finding out you are mingling the various series.

Never disappointing, loved this one too.

Away with the non foodies, this is the good stuff, your descriptions are spot on.

A treat from beginning to end.

More, more, more...

but i wish you would finish it

I do like your work. Enough information to develop the characters and yet a fairly rapid pace. Easy to read and just draws you in. I certainly hope to see more in both of your series.

I am enjoying you're story more than most! I wish you would write more! I want yo know how they manage to study and live together, and when they marry! Also learning more about mum and her brother! Keep writing, you're doing an excellent job!

Were did you get that from? it was amazingly good.There so many stories on the web, thousands, but only one or two anywhere as good as yours.Both my wife and I have read this; both of us think the same about it.We know about all the emotions as were are brother and sister and went through all this and a whole lot more.It only made us stronger.We told our parents before we did anything sexual but it still caused world war 3.Dad accused me of molesting his daughter despite being told no sex had taken place and we were 18 & 19. We have two grown up daughters who are a credit to their mother but we needed medical help to ensure their were no defects.We were honest with the doctors and they never judged us and were very understanding.Mom had already guessed my sister was in love with me.Dad never really accepted it, but did nothing to stop us when Mom told him to leave us alone or they would lose us.We were never allowed to share a bed in their home when we visited even after 20 years together.Despite society saying it's wrong that's because of corrupting the gene pool.We have always been so close,spent all our time together as kids and never wanted boyfriends or girlfriends.We only ever had eyes for each other.Mom said she knew my sister was in love with me when she was 16 and had a long talk with her.I never knew but when I was 18 she asked me why I never had any girlfriends I told her I was in love.she spent a week trying to find out who of her friends it was and was crying all the time.Mom told me she was just having girl trouble and every time I tried to comfort her it made her more upset.One evening she asked me if it was her.I said it was but would never hurt her.She suddenly started to laugh asked me to go with her to be away from our parents hearing and told me she had been in love with me since she was 16 and that Mom knew.How I missed that I still don't know.But Dad missed it too.

Thank you you made us feel good.

One of the best series on this site! I could probably write a paragraph on the need to continue this series, instead I'm am simply going to say MORE! MORE! :-)

Would that be Billy Idol or Andrea True Connection?

We really are working on these periodically and will release them.

Right now we are finishing up a long story for the winter contest.

-MM

I love your writing style and the slow build up to the eventual coupling. I particularly enjoy the fact that it is romance and love instead of simply sex for the sake of sex. You could almost leave the sex out completely and it would still be a good read. Please continue this and all your other works.

Oh. My. God. You know how to use "affect" and "effect" - I think I could love you! I swear to god I'm not a grammar nazi!! Poor use of English though drives me nuts, leaves me feeling like a hyperactive squirrel...

Oh, and !!! just because :p

Very, very soon !

This story is simply great !

Please.

Just a beautiful LOVE story. More soon I hope.

HC

Perhaps the best bro/sis love story I ever read was Jessy19's, "My Brother My Lover".

This one definitely rival's it. Thank you for a beautiful love story that deserves to be finished completely. Five Stars!

Every thing about this story just grabs me. A true love story with possibly star-crossed lovers. Well plotted, intelligently presented and engagingly crafted.

Fully agree with the all the praise and complementary comments left by everyone. Great story and really looking forward to reading more.

Keep going !!

Pleas continue this story i really hope they make it

ummm... AMAZING!! I'm guessing you're female because of how in touch with her emotions Zane is and I just find it incredible writing. You've done excellently so far and I really hope there will be more to read. I'm sure you feel this way, too, I feel like the love between siblings can be so amazing if the adolescent relationship was there to begin with. I don't think there's anything that could be more complete emotionally and physically and what you've done here is bring those exact thoughts I have into existence. I'm so glad I didn't exit the story when I first read the name Zane, felt too male to me and stuff like that turns me off but I gave it a few more paragraphs and got hooked.

Very well done I felt the emotions

Bravo

This story blew me away. So good! The best romance, the best sex. Came across it via Glimpses... better late than never. Please, please ch 03, please!

.....wonderful !!

I know it's been three years ago. And you don't have the intention or time for it.but it's such a nice story to stop in between.if you really want to continue or already written some parts , they will never satisfy us because we never want it to end.i mean if you conclude the story , then also we want more.

But to leave it in the middle, we never appreciate it.

So please one more chapter.

Please, please

I wish you would continue this story for the rest of their lives.

Another great story! I am truly impressed by the quality of writing I see. Thank you so much!

i have a few questions:

is this the end of the story? what are you plans to continue it. it kinda sucks that its left here. is a well written and fantastic story - but with no ending it just isn't complete. and this story is not a stand-alone. So.....?

Where do i find "Love Interrupted"? you mention it at the opening of "Unwitting Discovery, buts its not on your story list. is it somewhere else to be found?

thanks. Goducks1!

But it’s not completed and it’s been almost 4 years since the last chapter. I agree with Goducks1. Any plan to finish this? It’s a 1 if not

Yes, we're working on all of the entangled story lines: Empty Nesters, Unintended Consequences, An Unwitting Discovery and a prequel Love Interrupted.

We're working on Page and some other stories as well. Current priorities are listed in our profile.

-MM

Wonderful story and great characters. Thank you for keeping it just the two of them and not have everyone fucking everyone. Keep up the good work

Quote at the end of Ch 02 "To be continued. Please, let us know what you think."

Now, since February 2015, life must have gotten in the way big time....I know, life is a lady dog....but still, you guys can do it, a few(hundred) hours will make us all so happy.

This was not all lust and depravity, but describes the culmination of what I had lost many years ago due to perceived indifference, to my deepest regret.

More please great stories

Good sex and love descriptions, Really liked there was no talk about or anal sex to cheapen the romantic aspects. Kudos to author!

Love this story and where it is heading. I want to read more please keep going with this. We really need to know what the unintended consequences are. Is it Mom? Is it a baby? PLEASE don't abandon this wonderful story of sibling love

More, more,more!!!

with a side of mom and uncle Dan! (not all together, but side story)

Maybe even a good revenge twist on Dad;)

Just reread this. What a great story. Well worth the 5 I gave it 10 months ago.

Please add more chapters to this wonderful tale.

This has been a great story and I would love to see it continue, but I am impatient and want it quick. PLEASE!!!! Just kidding, take your time and make it as good as it is now.

quirks to those with it. It is not the dyslexia at the root of those quirks. Dyslexia is a symptom of another issue, ADD, (attention deficit disorder). The therapist who taught me about ADD 20 years ago had an axiom about the connection between dyslexia and ADD: "Anyone with dyslexia has ADD, but not everyone with ADD has dyslexia."

You also mention Zane and Adam's mother having the same personality traits, (don't recall if you attributed dyslexia to mom, as well.) There is a reason. ADD is a highly inherited disorder. The therapist and I talked about impulsive ADD people meeting, impulsively 'falling into love', and impulsively making ADD babies.

He stressed how important it was when clients brought their offspring to him about behavioral or emotional problems, which turned out to be due to ADD, that the parents understood the inheritable aspect of ADD, and accept if their children have ADD, one or both of them have ADD, as well. Their acceptance of this, helped resolve clashes between the parents and their children.

The over analyzing Zane attributes to herself are classic symptoms of ADD's tendency to cause the brain to hyper focus on issues, and tasks.

ADD is rampant in the US, (I'm not talking about the currently trendy phase of attributing much of our societal group behavior to 'ADD'. I'm talking clinically diagnosed rampant.), with extremely high percentages, (~70%ish), in male prison populations. Impulsive tendencies are common in people with ADD, and impulsive people make bad decisions without thinking of the consequences, (see my previous comment about 'making ADD babies'. LOL)

We are largely decedents of people who braved long voyages across deadly oceans in wooden ships, and further, walked across our very large continent with all of their possessions in a wagon drawn by oxen.

It takes a certain 'go for it' attitude, no matter the costs or risks, to take on such adventures; exactly the kind of personality traits people with ADD exhibit.

There is one other country with even higher rates of ADD: Australia. Given their historical background of originally being a British penal colony, it makes perfect sense.

Though I was officially diagnosis with 'adult onset ADD', after spending six months learning about ADD from my therapist, (ADD cannot be 'treated' with therapy. It is really learning about ADD, and how to manage it, typically with the assitance of medication.), I came to realize I have had ADD my entire life. Learning about ADD in my mid 40's explained most all of my trials and tribulations as a child, teen and into my 20's.

Hope this helps someone if they see themselves in Zane or Adam, or have children who have been diagnosised with ADD. Learning about ADD, and working to manage it turned my life around.

GeoD

I think the love they have for each other is wonderful. I like that it's not just about sex but love Lucky couple. Of course I am stupid sentimental.

Wonderful story, hope more is coming. Now I need to go check out your other stories , just in case they are written as well.

please continue

I'm afraid I don't have the words to describe how much I've enjoyed this story!

I usually follow an author's submissions in chronological order, but decided to follow your suggestion and read this one first.

I assume you are truly a couple, and that you both participate in the storytelling ... I wonder if you're truly in a loving, familial relationship, or only indulging your fantasies. It doesn't really matter, the truth is that you're very good at describing the emotion, the difficulty of being in love with a sibling.

You're also exceptionally good at telling how they make love, without seeming vulgar. Thanks for your efforts!

I'll include my correct email address, because I'd love to hear back from you, but also because I always ask Literotica to send a copy to my inbox, but that never happens - I assume that means they don't have my correct e-ddress.

Would love to hear from you!

Gary13

Gary Brown

GaryJBrown22181@yahoo.com

Good lord, please expound further on this wonderful tale.

It's refreshing to read a sibling love story without all the manufactured turmoil over potential parental/societal issues. None of the often exaggerated dogma regarding the very mutable laws of man, a believable amount of trepidation over the future, and no trite emphasis on how it feels so "right" because it's so horribly "wrong." Just two soulmates recognizing how rare and precious a thing it is that they've found in each other.

This is pure and golden, and frankly one of the most realistic depictions of a brother and sister falling in love that I've ever encountered in fiction. It makes me suspect that you yourself may have real life knowledge of the subject.

Regardless I appreciate greatly you sharing this work with us and would love to see more.

What!! "to be continued"? When? Please don't end it here. (12/8/2021)

Please, please continue!!! This story is wonderful!

Great stuff here - well written, loving relationship, and great sex scenes! 5*

Still love it

Amazing love story. Both adults, there's no abuse of authority that some might claim between parent and child. While incest may not be great from a genetic standpoint, two adults who love and respect each other deeply should not be denied coupling if it makes them happy. Who are they hurting. So much of our cultural morals are based on control and outdated customs. There aren't enough siblings who would want to couple to cause a problem for society at large. Shaming the few who find happiness this way is simply wrong. JMO

I'm still loving it...CINCO ESTRELLAS!

Excellent buildup of an incest love. You can’t help but be rooting for it to work out for them. 5 stars.

Bill S.

Hard not to love this story.

What a great sibling incest/ love story. 5/5

Yes, the heart wants what the heart wants!

Excellent series! Well thought out and written with a good mix of angst, guilt, love and yes sex. I look forward to reading the next chapter. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

Wonderful chapter. Great story. 5 Stars....