All Comments on 'A Gift From His Father Ch. 26'

I think you need to reread it and then think about what better you could have done

it feels very rushed

not the thing i expected

I disagree with ms many numbers. I like that you have opened a new portion, per se, to add more depth to your. This chapter was all about setting up a sequel to the original part of the story. Join has achieved the level of a full blown powerhouse and now he is prepping to take on one possibly two more world shaking powerhouses. It will be interesting to see what direction you take things from here.

Great build up and thank you.

Look forward to chapter 27

Kind regards,

Peter

your writing has taken on a new look, have read the entire series over the last week, was glad to see a new chapter pop up while i was still working on 23! love the way the plot is going looking forward to reading more!

What did he do with the other ring he acquired? Could he not use that on another finger? Wasn't sure if you cleared that up or not. why bother going after the others if he isn't going to use them? Would have liked a little more content in this one but hopefully it will pick up.

I feel that this chapter in the story is kind of lacking definition, explanations and the overall quality of emotion and feelings the other chapters have. The plot was also on the weak side of things. All all the sudden he's obsessed with trying to find the other two rings and their owners. His girlfriend is becoming a mental case because of her nightmares and he doesn't seem to try to push harder to find out what's wrong. Two of his agents are checking out a resort and become lacking in their duties and get turned into two old women. Then he has spies in corporations trying to do things. It just jumps around a lot. So I will give this chapter a three star and that is me being generous.

A good set up. Nice fundation layed out for another story. Bring it on! I'll read it of a surety.

Story Twists: John's gang is getting some unexpected information, and some are unexpectedly aging, ... The master of the Power Ring who has defeated the Mistresses of both the Ring of Vengeance and the Ring of Truth, so John now has Three of the ancient Five Rings of Power. Will John gift any of those powerful Rings to his Loyal followers, and if he does, will they remain loyal? There were only 2 or 3 mistakes that I noted this chapter, a huge improvement over the early ones, the story reads better now too, ... And at one point I read the word 'suite' and was trying to determine what it really should be, ... but it was used exactly right, I had just seen it misused for the word 'suit' so often in the early chapters that I immediately assumed it was improperly used again, ... tell Spirit02 that he is doing good work (Attaboy Award given) ;-) TTFN