All Comments on 'The Sultanah Ch. 02'

Well written Sci Fi. This is not even porn. Publish this in a book it is not porn.

This is going to be one of the best series on this site. I love the first two chapters so far. Thanks!

This is a really great story! Just hoping there isn't too bad a wait between chapters.

This has been nothing short of amazing so far. I'm looking forward to what the future holds!

love the story

loving it, just have one teensy tiny point...... she's supposed to be descended from a goddess.... ATLEAST give her a slightly bigger dick.....;PPPPPPP

P.S. i meant a 7 ish or so incher... not a toon monster dick... lol

This is a great story. Very well written. It reminds me of Poul Anderson's Science fiction series about an old human empire facing its end against the new up and comer. I can't remember the title but the Dominic Flandry stories are a part of it. The sex is amazing but with the world and characters you're crafting it could stand alone without it.

I wish it could have unfolded into her reign as sultan to see how she defeated her enemies and if heirs were produced and if she avenged her father and brothers. I would to see a story like this as a novel. Thank you for producing a great story.

Mostly I felt like reading a fantasy novel. You can even remove the sex part and publish it.

Hats off very good story.

...anything I already haven't. You're a great author, and I enjoy reading your stories. I'm glad your sharing this epic story with us. It would be a shame if you kept this to yourself.

This great story could be written without the sex and still be a classic.

this story must be reported as super addicted

Same person as the last review on the first chapter here.

I cannot but help agreeing with the review given on 11/22. This story would make a great one even without the sex, perhaps you could even do that--with less focus on said sex, it could potentially be a great novel to publish.

Overwrought drivel. Written for a select few (and that's all that is reading). As far as a previous commentator stating you were one of the best authors on this site, he must have been on drugs. Both technically and from a perspective of originality or cleverness, this story fails on so many levels that it's laughable. No offense meant. But your writing (regardless of the subject matter) just isn't fun or entertaining to read. By all means, continue on. A select few obviously enjoy it. More power to them and to each his own. But to give this stuff great reviews is to overlook the enormous holes in the plot and the mediocre quality of the writing. CHEERS!

being happy to invest my time in learning how this story unfolded...then I read the first few paragraphs of page 5 and my hopes for a decent, heavy-handed-message free fantasy epic with (a) magically intersex main character(s) were dashed. Seriously? If Gunes has "two spirits" (By the way, was this an intentional reference to "two spirit" the widely misused Native American term?) both male and female, inside hir, then s/he is decidedly *not* "a woman born with a man's cock". S/he is both male, female, and neither of those things. (Yes, it's possible. S/he is presumably a deity, correct? If a Nazgûl can be "neither living nor dead" then surely a god can be "simultaneously male, female, and neither")

You might have capitalized on that concept (one with a solid -and fascinating- basis in several real historical mythologies!) and the story would've been even stronger for it, in my opinion...but instead you evidently elected to go with the standard "if women had balls and dicks men could be *euphemism for exterminated* and the world would be awesome!!1!eleventyone!" trope. I would have just said "fuck this" and left, but you asked for comments and I was really rather disappointed to see a story that initially showed such spectacular promise -both in terms of erotic potential and storyline- transformed into a vehicle for what seems to be thinly veiled (perhaps it was subconscious?) cis-hetero-bashing/a platform for the derogation of 97-99.9% of the human race. I like my fiction, erotic and otherwise, to be a little bit more subtle (or at least more up-front) in its political/social messages. It's your story, and you've every right to write it with whatever message/moral/ideology you wish as its underpinnings...nevertheless, I could wish you had chosen differently. This was becoming an awesome story, but if I want to be insulted and denigrated for my genes and sexual preferences I can get a Tumblr/join Twitter. I'm sorry if I've been overly harsh, but it's how I feel. The story concept showed promise with it's interesting variation on a standard theme (not a bad thing. All stories are variations on standard themes that were old before writing was invented.) and the key variation (the intersex heir) seemed like (based on your past work) it would be handled well. I was interested in learning the future of Ulke, and reading your authorial take on the "development of an untrained monarch" trope. But, as I said, if I want to be denigrated for things about myself that I cannot change, there are easier ways. If the derogation was unintended, that's great, but it's still there. You have skill, undeniably, even if it's still developing; I look forward to what you write next. (Hope springs eternal, I suppose)

PS: to the anonymous under me (12/05/15), I'd say, "yes, there are some big, honking plot holes, and yes, there are writers with a more developed writing style and more understanding of how to paint a picture with words, etc, etc...but this author is "mediocre" only in comparison to the very best of the "unpublished" literary field (fanfic, etc). I read a *lot* of slush, and this writer is far better than most of the...writing...found in those slushpiles. Originality is overrated to some extent. Has this concept been done before? Sure, many, many times. Is the hermaphrodite character a little too gimmicky and obvious an attempt to differentiate this story from those other, older stories without much else changed? Meh...arguable. But none of that has a damn thing to do with whether the story is entertaining or enjoyable. Enjoyment is, by definition, a subjective measure...you do know that, right?" ;-)

Thanks for the long comment! Very interesting stuff and I truly appreciate it. For what it is worth, I think your fears about my ideological agenda are unfounded. All I can say is that this story appears to be an unintentional Rorschach test for readers. I am in no way denigrating straight, cisgender males in this story. I would say a majority of my readers likely fit in that category and I like you all. There is really no political message in this story that I personally would "agree" with. I tried to get in a medieval frame of mind and then explore a story about the development of ruthlessness in a novice ruler. The duality in my story is more about the incompatibity of personal ethics and absolute power found in Machiavellis "Prince" rather than any Indian concept. So I really had no intention of attacking you or anyone else. I thought of a character and a situation and let it run where it would. Take that as you will.

Also, you're the second person to say there are glaring plot holes without specifying what those holes are. Fill me in if you have the time. It will make my writing stronger in the future. Thanks!

YKN4949

The story is by far the most addicting one I have ever encountered on literotica. God Damnit I didn't even dream, I would find such bliss, depth and vivid imagination, all intertwined in just the right proportion in a single story! Kudos to you!

The way the sex is tied into the plot in this chapter is a lot more interesting than the first one. I get what some other commenters are saying about this not being wholly original, I read similar non-erotic stories like this before. A young unprepared noble is thrust into leadership and has many doubts about his/her ability to do what is necessary. What draws me in is the character of Varis herself. Despite her uncertainty she seems very intelligent in the way she composes her inner thoughts which means that if she can bring that same intellect to the surface her enemies are in trouble. Looking forward to the reading the next chapter tomorrow. I'm tempted to stay up all night reading and worry about sleeping later!

At the beginning of this chapter I was unsure of how things were progressing. It did not seem believable for Varis to have any chance to survive going forward while being so indecisive and petty. However, it was well fitted to the plot progression as it turned out. The sex with the priestesses was good, but there was perhaps a bit too much gymnastics and description for it to be intense. Still, quite enjoying the overall experience!

Well YKN, I guess I am among the "stupid illiterate" some moron spoke about. I absolutely loved your story!

And hey moron, notice I dont hide behind 'anonymous'...

I can't wait to start the next chapter!

I liked the plot twists, unexpected but refreshing!

The premise of the sex scene with the priestess as well as the scene itself, amazing. Truly truly incredible. Sensual, spiritual, and passionate. Loved it. Creative, riveting and very sophisticated. Wow. Just wow. Very impressive piece of writing.

Rich and textured, good storyline, like able characters. Looking forward to the next chapters.

Again, editing would have enhanced your work to such a high level. It truly suffers from how unpolished it is. I'm gonna keep going but I really hope the quality improves.

Saying we should be grateful for anything is just silly. I would think as a writer you would hold yourself to a high standard because it is your work, your world and not be frightened of the work required to make the work you've already done beautiful. That disappoints me. I know this is old, so I hope you've improved in later years.

Great story! I love it. I can't stop reading it.

This is a well crafted tale. It’s 1:30 in the morning and I am still reading. What an amazingly well developed protagonist your Sultanah is becoming.

I have this vision of the story rushing out of you in a flood too fast for your fingers to keep up as they fly across your keyboard.

Yes there are typos. So what? This is a fantastic work of erotic fantasy writing.

6 stars! Thanks for your time and imagination. Off to the next installment.

Fabulous writing and such a beautiful way to conceive of love and self. Thank you!

Well-writing , hoping more dialogue during sex scenes, I hope Sultanah fall in love man or women I don`t care , I want to see her in charge , I think till now she still discover her sex abilities. I am looking for what she is going to do when she trust her self more.

I love this story and will definately read the complete series. Very interesting and entertaining.

Thank you @YKN4949 , loving it, the idea/the world building/ the characters all are well written, just have three teensy tiny points: 1- dirty talk in the sex scenes because it felt like a silent movie. 2- short sentence/paragraph is better for reading than the long one unless it was necessary. 3- the story would be better if it was third person POV rather than 1st POV because reading the Mc`s thoughts all the time felt like a filler and somehow annoying.

This is so good that I skip the sex part to get right to the story

excellent!