All Comments on 'Sister in Heat Ch. 05'

by Mister_Shy

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  • 113 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
At least Monica has some balls!

Thank god you decided to to give at least one sibling with a set of balls, though giving them to Monica was to be expected by now.

Still, I'm glad to see them being the real deal even if she had to suffer some to get here and to see that he agrees by the rule(s).

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Nice

Monica's coyness reminded me of my ex, also named Monica, who also had a brother fetish as well. Good times.

belleamsbelleamsabout 8 years ago
Happy.....

Loved it!

Thank you :)

FreeFaller93FreeFaller93about 8 years ago
Perfect Ending... Or is it?

The whole sexy-maid bit was so good, the steaminess of that act was only compounded by the fact that they're siblings. Phew!

Loved Stephs character. Such good people.

Would love to read more about these two but, if you chose to close the series this way, then it'd be the perfect way to do it.

Thanks for the amazing series!! ;)

ChasBChasBabout 8 years ago
Hoo-haw!

I don't often agree with an anonymous, but Monica does have balls! Stephanie, too - maybe that was John's attraction to her. Is this the ending? 'Not a bad place for it. We can take it for granted that the siblings somehow made it work. Why not? He male, she female. That is - and should be - the story. All this socio/religious crap about legality and sin is quite beside the point.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

goot to see that this is not one of those fucked up story that endup with sister being lesbian and the brother get another one or more girls or love of his life(not his sister)

Captain_FapulusCaptain_Fapulusabout 8 years ago
It's good to be back on track

Man am I glad to see this story being brought back on its rightful track, that alone would guarantee a 5*!

Right off-the-bat the description of their relationship makes it clearly that it’s not working right, at least not for Johnny and his vision of a relationship. Kinda strange but then again kinda perfect fit for a person he became in the last chapter and for a carefree douche he seems to want to be. But then again he did regain a lot of his man points when coming clear to Steph, though her answer and argument was a bit of a shocker (was expecting a casual fling) and a let down at the same time (she’s a good person but she did use him rather hard while being used herself by her boss). The subsequent threesome did ease a lot of things and made him realise their relationship could last and can even withstand the test of others, as long as they are as horny as them that is.

I can’t decide what was the bigger overkill, the maid dress (a fine choice I might add), the screw at the table in plane sight or the final threesome?

In the end I will miss Steph a bit as she did put him in his place and stated what de did not want/dare to himself. And yes to the anon below, if Monica wasn't as ballsy and sure of things it might have gotten a lot worse for all involved parties. Goes to prove girls have balls too :)

All in all it would be a shame not to give you a 5*, even if this is the end (hope not!) it's a perfect one and I'm glad to have read it!

Dark_StormDark_Stormabout 8 years ago
Went out with a whimper rather than a roar.

When you ended chapter three with...

<<< "Sure," she said. "There's no way that can go wrong."

Well, I probably don't have to tell you this, but it went wrong all over the place. >>>

So what exactly "went wrong all over the place"?

I was expecting the shit to hit the fan. Lots of yelling and screaming, with the wringing of hands, gnashing of teeth and tears flowing freely.

Instead Johnny wimps out by getting himself a live-in fuck buddy and ignoring his sister. And when he breaks the one rule about not fucking anyone other than Steph in the apartment and she catches him at it, with his SISTER of all people, she's conveniently already been going to break up with him, and instead of being skeezed out by him fucking his sister, decides to join them for a threesome!

Wow! That's REALLY going "wrong all over the place".

The first three chapters were really good, and I'm glad John & Mon ended up together, but the last two chapters failed to deliver. Don't so obviously foreshadow something, then do nothing about it. It made the last two chapters rather anti-climactic and a big let down.

Because of this, even if you choose to continue this story, I'll be ending my reading of it here.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

Yes, great story and hot ! So, I hope that there is another chapter as they will have many adventures and trials too. There is a possibility that Monica being so spontaneous; might create some new situation(s) that can lead to new off chutes to this story and relationship. Things with Stephanie and her boss can always change at some point too. Thank you !!

Comentarista82Comentarista82about 8 years ago
liked this

This is more like it. Glad Steph was cool with it and you finally got him and Monica together. Now please move them on together, on down the road. 5.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Great Stories

This has been one of the better series of stories that I have read. Does a family come next?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
DON'T THINK STEPH IS OUT OF THE PICTURE

Could Steph pop up in Bro and Sis life at a later time?

ansdguyansdguyabout 8 years ago
A perfect ending...

To a great, loving and erotic story. A perfect 10.

AmbivalenceAmbivalenceabout 8 years ago
I'm a bit surprised I read Steph wrong...

Oh, I knew she'd work people to get what she wanted... But I guess I just figured she'd have a limit... a kind of limit that didn't amount to her basically whoring herself out to get ahead...

I guess success at any cost...

Also, I'm not sure I see how he owes her anything for having fucked in the apartment - thereby breaking that rule - when he only broke it once and yet she repeatedly broke the one about keeping each other aware of when they were fucking others (or whatever that specific rule was)...

Oh well, he's better off with Monica anyway... She completely loves him and wants only him...

Good story...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Amazing!

No fault, Mister Shy.

Everything was in perfection.

Damn you. :)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

Wonderfully awesome story! Well written, highly engaging, I couldn't put it down!! Thanks for writing! :)

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
What An Ending

Wow so hot.Is.it.ending or a new beginning?.Well written,real story line,need more, much more of this.sibling love affair

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Waited Until the End

I always wait until I've finished all, if any, chapters before I make any comment. You have written a very good story. Nothing mean or abusive. Romantic, however forbidden it may be, still romantic. I enjoyed reading it, all chapters. Please continue the story in the future. Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Dude, Perfect

And that's all I am going to say. Now if you could excuse me, it's 2:11 in the morning and I still need to wank.

SampkyangSampkyangalmost 8 years ago
The Conclusion

Thoughts..." However, Stephanie did not believe in monogamy. To an outsider, this might seem strange, considering how we acted with each other" Mister_Shy you are FUCKING KIDDING right? Thru your writing about them??? They are all sluts nothing less. Strange???

Making Money... Stir fry for an elaborate meal? LOL!!! Hey it's Very Good and EVEN more fun at a Japanese Steak House, but do at home and get the real taste MEH! LOL! Alcohol helps!

VERY 5* erotic story EXACTLY what everyone expected so I vote 5*'s too just to be fair to the story. Hey this is erotica, but I confess I'm a romantic and hoped for Love. My vote is in 5*'s on all the parts, but a 1* from me not posted, for the disappointment on how little regard love gets in a story. There is no love here only erotic lust as intended. Sorry I am a romantic idiot...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Great story.

It's a great story, interesting, inclusive and imaginative. Well paced with good descriptive terms but not enough to detract from the tone. I liked the characters and enjoyed it thoroughly. 5*!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago

I love this story! Havent read it in a while :). ...I think it prolly hits my top ten favs here. ;). Thanks lots for writing and sharing with us!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Amazing

You are an amazing writer.And I really like your name.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Good Story,.. mostly

I liked the near predictable end up untill Stephanie wanting to leave with her ass hole of a boss,. Which alluded to some form of tolerated submission, .. I would have liked to see her secret be fulfilled with the three of them , and the missing element would have been Monica!! Oh well! Still Ok!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago

I could have liked this story if it was just the brother and Moni, all this falling in love with someone else... No thank you

freudiansdickfreudiansdickover 7 years ago

Really good.

Everyone wants straight to the point sibling banging, without any plot or build up whatsoever, but you kinda ignored that and that's good. There has to be complications, reluctance ect. The ending though, tries to go back to what people want, the happy but kinda not believable incest happy ending, but it's still a good series overall.

Come back and write more for us, if you'd like.

SamuraiMerchantSamuraiMerchantover 7 years ago
YES!

Another great (5*) chapter? WOW. Can't wait to read more of your work. You really are a VERY talented writer! THANK YOU for this and all your other work. Be Well!

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Great read, ...

... from the first chapter to the last.

So, what's the Title of your next story?

Thanks for this one.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Great story......

....and I loved the dialogue! Must've been terrific fun to write. Very well constructed dissection of sister/brother incest. Will be checking your list to read more of your work. Thank you!

OlebillOlebillabout 7 years ago
Fantastic

Loved the beginning and the end. Thought there for a minute that he was going to mess up the love he had for his sister but worked well. Reminded me of my incident.

Thank you

akeyesxakeyesxabout 7 years ago
Very well written story

Most incest stories aren't anywhere near in this depth and damn fewer are this well told. This was an excellent read from start to finish, and a real fantasy mind twister. Thanks for writing it. Looking forward to more by you.

PrinceLukePrinceLukeabout 7 years ago
wow

this story is simply amazing one thing thou why make steph end up with her boss who she doesnt even like? i felt so bad for him when steph told him she is fucking another man just for a job, she should have stayed loyal and maybe ended up marrying john.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
I liked it a lot

I read dB all of the stores first I in have to say it was really well wrote

rightbankrightbankalmost 7 years ago
depressing

and contradictory.

Firmhands5Firmhands5almost 7 years ago
One more is needed

Great series - the agony and the joy - just a followup please - the personal interaction is so well done. Thank you

advent62advent62almost 7 years ago
Moniii sooounds so sexyyy

Awesome written. I felt I wish I was Any one of 3 characters. I loved all of 3. Flawless super story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Sisterluv

Awesome threesome but unfortunately Stephen broke the paradise moments by deciding to go away though she fully enjoyed the threesome, specially with MonI. So why did she quit?It would have been great if she stayed and enjoyed that taboo threesome for years and both being Impregnanted by Jhonny .it would have been awesome!!

thedayafterthedayafteralmost 7 years ago
Still Don't Get It

Why would John want anyone else when he had Monica. Bringing Stephanie into the story just complicated what was a simple sibling love story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
I loved it.

I would like to read more, but how the heck can it go much further.

I had plenty of good thoughts while reading it . Thanks, Ken

Aussie1951Aussie1951over 6 years ago
Overall ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ only

Could've been ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ but you fuck up chapter 4 big time.

KelsweetKelsweetover 6 years ago
Well

Not crazy about the threesome, or Steph in the first place, but all's well that ends well. He gets to be happy, with some external validation. Steph gets pretty much what she deserves...success, by fucking her boss. That's the kind of girl she is, and that's why she'll never be satisfied, and why he was better off with sticking with his sister. I can see some people in the comments missed that whole point...she was never supposed to be right for him. Who wants a brother-sister + bitchy girlfriend relationship anyway? Defeats the whole purpose.

As for the whole sex in the room with the clients. why would you dress that way for a potential client anyway? How could she have possibly known that the dude's wife would be okay with it? Most people if they showed up with their wife to find a hot girl dressed like a prostitute would end up with a wife pissed off at them if they didn't express disapproval. Too big a risk. (If he wasn't so dumb I'd say you'd risk insulting him by making it look like you were trying to sway him by hanging hot tits in his face or even bribing him with sex). And then fucking him right on his lap in front of everyone? Not very plausible, and she's risking totally fucking his career (and life) up if one little thing went wrong. I know it's fantasy, but still!

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Well...

I'll give you a 4* for the erotica 3* for the story but 2* for the overall concept and characters, the guy was dumb for agreeing to an open relationship which = just friends with benefits not to mention a pushover and wish washy our challenger Steph"s one of those types who will willingly sell there soul to the world for a bit of wealth (yet this is the person he would spend the rest of his life with if not for his sister?) and goes about doing so by having a secret affair with her boss (which would have been considered cheating in a "real" relationship.) only confessing after she catches the mc in the act with his sister. the only really likable one in my opinion was the little sister who knew what she wanted and continued to stubbornly charge ahead until she got it.. Overall the story was decent but I don't recommend anymore extra chapters down the line.

WretchedMonkeyWretchedMonkeyabout 6 years ago
I love this story.

I read the first few chapters of this and thought it was good, then the last 3 chapters made me love it. It gave depth to the characters with the unfolding history and the internal struggle to accept his love for his sister as true. And I love your writing style it's amazingly well done. My favourite passage from any story on this site (at least) has to be "...The problem was that my sister was wearing an outfit that did not so much suggest French Maid as scream it in the dirtiest French possible..." it just crams so much character from both characters into one sentence. And it's funny and everyone loves funny.

I have to be honest that part way through the 3rd chapter I could swear I'd read this story before and at the beginning of the 5th chapter; when it's announced he'd have to throw a dinner party, I knew I'd read it before; remembering the maid "schtick". I think I loved it then and I know love it now, it's a great read. I'll definitely read some of your other work after this.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
perfect ending

You found the perfect spot to end this. Nice character development, and the pace of it was just right. One thing this story has that many don't is that you give hints of what's going on inside his head. John is a good guy, but you let that primal thing peek out sometimes. That's a nice touch and makes it more than the usual tab-A goes into slot-B erotica. Thanks for not making Monica a complete brainless slut. She had some small amount of character and tact to her. She didn't bother him at work or school, and she didn't become a psycho stalker when he set her aside for a while. Thanks for sharing this with us. It's quality work, better than much of the stuff on here.

olblueyesolblueyesabout 6 years ago

well, big surprise for me,, didn't end the way i thought it would,, since steph didn't believe in monogamy ( and neither do i ),, and john was cool with that,, and moni had earlier said that she and john would just go on they way they were and keep the relationship secret (would upset their mother too much if she found out) so i surmised they would be a triad and just live all together and john would say he married steph.. and share the two women,,but it is what it is,,loved this incest tale (love family incest-its my fav kink),,,,,btw,,,what is "ensorcelled"?? i can look it up but why would you use it here?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Fucking HELL, that was sexy

I wanted to do an in-depth analysis like all the other commenters; but they've already said everything needed for the critique. So I just want to tell the author that I loved reading it and found it really fucking sexy. Five stars for all chapters.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
Great job

This is the best story by far on this website, or at least in the incest catagory

scorge30scorge30over 5 years ago
I hope the author might return to this story

I would like to know what happened to Stephanie. I wonder if later in life Stephanie might regret letting Johnny go. I would like to see Stephanie realize her error and return and enter into a committed trio with Monica and John.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Great story!!

Sweet, interesting, and hot AF.

Mikal1134Mikal1134over 5 years ago
Great turn on

Very well written. The plot moved at a good pace and the story was believable. Nice details of the fucking.

CormacMacArtCormacMacArtabout 5 years ago
Great read

Hot, horny, believable, great sex descriptions. A great short story. Could even see it a a fleshed out novel, with more angst, sex and relationship development for the time periods skipped over. Please write more sister brother stories, your work is delightful.

RefsRefsover 4 years ago
Fucking Fantastic!

I loved the whole series. Keep writing brother sister stories as you have it down pat. I also think this one could be fleshed out and made into a novel.

WargamerWargamerover 4 years ago
Loved it. Absolutely loved this story

This story gets 10/10 from me.

I want more and more of their adventures.

Well done!!!!!

tiercenpttiercenptover 4 years ago
overall good story

Overall good story, nice writing, nice plotting.

a little more drawn out details on some points would be cool. At times it felt like a Stroker Story, then you brought in sensual details in but abruptly ended it without even explaining a little more and or jumping ahead a year or 2 then.

It created an interesting reading environment (really liked it) but at the same time with lack of enough details it felt empty.

what made me feel kinda sad was how it ended with Steph and John.

You made it sound like they really loved each other (whole chapters you described how he felt and looked, noticed things about her), in some open relationship way.

This said and then having Steph end it with the words like "I don't want to lie to you anymore but yea I'm fucking my boss, he's an asshole but he's my opportunity to get to where I want to be. "I love you"/I care about you but yea lets end it here" ".

I felt that was kinda cold and more like a goodbye between real fuckbuddies but as I said you already made it look like in 3-4 paragraphs that they were "in a somewhat love relationship".

Maybe a little different wording from Steph's standpoint? Also because you wrote her to be kinda smart and especially people smart how to interact to get what she wants and such.

Then giving her the all to basic thing of "yea I'm fucking my boss to get where I want" is kinda lame .

Anyways enjoyed the Story 5*

agelmar101agelmar101over 4 years ago
Great read

Liked the final chapter best. 5/5

Just wish the overall relationship between John & Monica was fleshed out a bit more on previous chapters with a bit less sex. However the ending was very good and a really nice very sex scene.

AsgarthAsgarthabout 4 years ago
GREAT

It was fantastic. I echo most of what other readers have said and would enjoy a few more chapters of this adventure.

LegallySaneLegallySanealmost 4 years ago
You should have

stopped at end of chapter one.

becker92548becker92548almost 4 years ago
MOVIE

I would like to see a movie of this. Very good story. Plz continue with more of their love.

Rancher46Rancher46over 3 years ago

Great story and even though it had a good ending it could have been continued. At any rate the story was well written and gets my 5 star vote.

MartyMBMartyMBover 3 years ago

It felt like Johnny got the raw end of the deal. Yes, he had an unusual relationship with his sister, but he also had a girlfriend in the kind of relationship that he wanted. For Steph to breakup with him for another that she didn't like that much doesn't make sense. That problem could go away if Steph broke up with her boss and returned. But it's still a sad ending to a tease of a story.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago
Awesome

Awesome story, it should be a movie for certain.

JupyterJupyterabout 3 years ago
Steph a breath of fresh air ...

I really liked Steph. Women often trade sex for power. It's a bargaining chip no man can match (usually.) It's so refreshing to have a female character show the strength of that character in never BSing Johnny. He knew what he was getting into. Monica is a well done, sexually naughty, but stock sister character. And, of course, Johnny winds up with the sisterly love of his life. But Steph is a force of nature. She really is naughty. I loved how each character played their part with honesty. Good job.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago
"By the time I got my Master's"

Obviously by your spelling of "master's" and the last chapter's "my grade are doing good", it obviously wasn't in English.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago

Great story. Loved the ending. The story was well written and well paced. I liked Stephanie and her forthright approach to life. I would have liked to have known a little more about Monica, outside of her sexy playtimes with her brother. I wonder if she was in love with her brother before the story started, so she was planning a happily ever after from day one.

rosemaveyrosemaveyabout 3 years ago

very satisfying ending

bshell47bshell47almost 3 years ago
Great series

Ending was good.

This was my second reading and it was still awesome.

ScottishTexanScottishTexanalmost 3 years ago

I really hated that he broke up with Stephanie. She was accepting and understanding about his relationship with Monica. I feel like that given enough time, Monica could have come to love Stephanie and want her to share her life with John. But that's my version of a happy ending.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

You are a wonderful writer

OldUncleAlOldUncleAlover 2 years ago

Look at that, MR SHY!! You see these comments telling you that they loved the ending!?! Nobody got killed, no terminal diseases, nobody in the nut house after a nervous breakdown! Even though this is weird, it works!IT TRULY WORKS!! That Stephanie is one introspective gal! She read him like an open Sunday newspaper. ( for those who know what they were.).

You Mr Shy are one brilliant, albeit slightly twisted author!! Great story, sir. Old Al will tell you one thing. If this story was in paperback, I would buy one for myself and several more to give as Christmas gifts! IT IS THAT GOOD!

Al

TulipfuzzTulipfuzzover 2 years ago

Bravo! I waited until the end of the series to comment. The characters are so vivid I could taste them. The plot was well-paced and the sex scenes were not overblown. I now will commence with reading your others. Many thanks.

Radomir1Radomir1over 2 years ago

Interesting series.

From the lust and reciprocity of brother and sister to the mutual confession (primarily to oneself) of love for each other.

There are still questions about how to implement this. Just as it's been almost 6 years and we can give a new series about the further adventures of Joni and Monica.

On the relationship with Stephanie. He was more honest with her. Stephanie wasn't. And it's not because she had an affair on the side. It's their decision together. She's not being honest with herself. She tells Joni she doesn't want marriage, but she agrees to marry her boss if he proposes, even if she doesn't love him and thinks he's nothing. Is she so fixated on her career? Then pity her. But Joni is better off without her. But would she be better off without him?

Maybe we'll find out in the sequel.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Absolutely fabulous set of stories, this last one was super fab with the threesome orgy. Omg what would I not give to be part of a glorious fucking session like that. Completely drunk on cunt juice and fucking and sucking my brains out with two fabulous sex crazed cunts. Cunt crazed fucker UK.

AdanaliyikAdanaliyikover 2 years ago

One thing I noticed, if no one else did, is that it was never actually about her kinks to Moni, even if that was the excuse she gave Johnny their first time. She wanted him and his love, right from the start, and just used her kinky fantasies to justify it to him, that he was the only person she could trust not to look down on her for the kinks she had. But the only real kink she had, was wanting her brother as the love of her life, and it was only with Stephanie's help, that he finally accepted it. A great series, 10/5...

OpenWordsOpenWordsover 2 years ago

Adanaliyik...

Well siad.

MfkndragonMfkndragonover 2 years ago

It's been 2 many years since this was wrote so while I don't see another part coming I do have to agree with some of the comments it was never about the kink and there should have definitely been another part even if it was just epilog however at same time I agree that Stephanie wasn't being honest with herself how can you say Don't want marriage but agree to marry the 1 person she doesn't really like if they propose it's bull shit the story and characters needs more closure than what was given

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

The dinner party was certainly a realistic scenario... Lol! Ah, well, this is what imaginations are for. The problem with a series, is that readers usually want more. You've written it along this far, might as well try to finish it off. I'd be interested to see how this all turns out.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

A vrry good story. It is unfortunate that John and Stephanie separated. But how about a '5 years later' chapter. There are so many possible developments.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

I wish there was more involving their mom. Some threesomes with mom.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Stephanie as his "official" wife with her own shit on the side would seem ideal.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Great ending. Johnny being with Monica.

He was a desperate weak cuck for Stephanie though!!!

CcatoneCcatoneabout 2 years ago

Great 😃 story, crafted so well it was plausible reality with conflict, emotions and character development keep up the great works

naughtyandy4unaughtyandy4uabout 2 years ago

Great threesome as a parting playtime with Stephanie

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

It was a great story, you're a good writer. The only fault was breaking it up into pieces, that's very annoying. Like I said before if I had seen that it was a 'snippet' story I wouldn't have read it. Write your story and post it as a complete story that we can enjoy. It's better to write a full story than put it out piecemeal, some 'writers' need to have their egos stroked so they put out snippets, and do a poor job of writing. You are a good writer, do the whole story then post it. Anony Mous

BluebichinBluebichinalmost 2 years ago

🖤 I just loved it!!! 🖤

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

The whole Stephanie bit hurt. Enough to distract from the rest of my enjoyment for how great this piece was.

Merlin_the_MagicianMerlin_the_Magicianalmost 2 years ago

Your story was very interesting and full of love and confusion. What more could a guy ask for? Seriously, I did enjoy it a lot. If ou ever decide to write another chapter and complete their story, I’ll be happy. I didn’t like that he allowed Stephanie an open relationship but I understand what he was trying to do. I could never allowed Stephanie to fuck others if we lived together. Keep up the good work.

Darkseid7317Darkseid7317over 1 year ago

Hands down, hand on my heart, that was the hottest damned tale of sibling love I have ever read, thank you for the best nights reading ever. I don't know if it was a fantasy or truth, but Ah Monica, diddly Dee diddly doo

pickup_man_1971pickup_man_1971over 1 year ago

Really great story. Just wish Steph hadn't broke things off.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Wish it would've been a a happy ending, but it was a great story. Thanks for sharing

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Loved this story! This is the 2nd time I read it and it's still awesome. You are that good...

usaretusaretover 1 year ago

Kept my attention thru the end, but it was hard.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

And when they baby due that there going to name after the dad that died that would be a nice couple of chapters were there expecting the first baby and they name it after the dad

Merlin_the_MagicianMerlin_the_Magicianover 1 year ago

You write a good story whichm I very much enjoyed. Loved the surprise ending as I couldn’t

figure out how you would pill off putting John and Monica back together. Did their mother ever figure it out?. Keep up the good work. MtM

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

This entire story started out good and went south in a very bad, unoriginal way. Disappointed with the plot and character development. Eye rollingly bad.

Crusader235Crusader235about 1 year ago

Excellent Bro, and sister love story. Loved the whole series. Five stars, and thank you for it.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Yeah, i should have seen it coming that Stephanie would be involved. I didn't care for that. I really liked Monica's character though. The best part of this 5th part were the final closing thoughts between Johnny and Monica. But at least i read it through and i can move on now. This is my first time reading this and my last. And again, i have not rated either part of this.

Frankie1952Frankie195212 months ago

Fantastic, loved it all because it sort of fit together so well.

scottstone7scottstone78 months ago

The ending with Steph ruined it for me. That was just horrible. Leaving someone she clearly knows shes in love with to keep fucking someone she doesn't like for a job she doesn't like. Can't even blame the sister for that, after eagerly and actively joining them.

I really liked her character and them together. Would have been happy with them staying together with or without sister involved further.

After ending it like that I kinda hope she just ends up stuck under one nasty old obese asshole after another chasing the promotion she'll never get always knowing in the back of her mind where she went wrong.

I mean, really? Work life balance, come on. Never let work take away what really matters in life.

MonkeyMonkzMonkeyMonkz8 months ago

The ending with Steph ruined it for me. Bad taste in my mouth.. i was hoping monica slap steph when she ask for free show. because i hate steph

AnonymousAnonymous8 months ago

I think the end of this ended up with a HIMYM feel, where it all came full circle, but in the way everybody despises, and everybody fucking hates the way it ended.

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userMister_Shy@Mister_Shy
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Hello, fellow Literoticans! Veronica here. Thank you for reading my smut! Writing for Lit has been one of the most gratifying hobbies of my life. Nothing quite compares to sharing my dirty fantasies with fellow dirty minds. It's an honor and a privilege. :) Several years ago...

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