All Comments on 'Succubus Handjob'

...but I wish had been a bit longer. Dragging out the seduction and molestation/execution of a succubus can be so much more enjoyable. Maybe your next succubus story can have the queen seduce the fighter more slowly, and then drain them over some period of time...along with the lesser succubi.

Hi. Fairly good for 1st time. You might be interested in reading

1) Save the Cat - Bad name but a must for any 1st time writer. Helps with story structure. Look it up on-line or @ Amazon. Can be read in about 4 to 6 hours.

2) https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=903429&page=submissions - Good story line development with Succubus.

3) https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=2866452&page=submissions - Malcubus. Very entertaining.

4) A god named Bruce - https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1196364&page=submissions

It's a pretty good succubus fic. Some tips:

Describe more. Describe sensations, describe what the succubi look like, describe the smells and tastes. Those are what drop us in the scene and make us feel like we're really watching what's going down.

As someone else said, take more time. Build up the character a little bit. Why are they surprised the succubus queen attacks using sexual tricks? A lot of the appeal in the succubus fic is the emotional battle. We need to see this warrior laid low by getting laid.

Use more paragraphs, especially in action. Each paragraph should be a fairly distinct concept—lumping in the opening attacks with the entrance in the first paragraph, for instance, is particularly likely to ward readers off.

I liked this, and I hope to see more from you in the future. This is a decent "fall of the hero" story, especially when all the succubi descend upon them.

I havent been reading these types of stories for that long, but try going a little longer, and having the victim get some hits in. If he was prepared, then there would have been at least some fight. I always find an underdog story worth it, erotic fiction accepts such stories as well.