All Comments on 'Shelby Ch. 01'

Very fun and promising premise. The "this is a dream/fantasy" disclosure at the beginning is a literary buzz-kill. Other than than, well-written and great groundwork for future chapters.

That disclaimer in the beginning is definitely a buzz kill. See if you can do a little reorganization and move that bit of info to the finishing. We don't need to know that it's a fantasy at the start.