All Comments on 'Dragon Ring'

How likely is it that he would have immediately began controlling minds in less than 2 paragraphs after buying it.

Regardless of being too soon I think that this story has some great potential. I look forward to reading your next chapter of his journey.

Currently in the process of editing story now please check back in the next couple days for an updated version.

Almost done with the edit will be longer more details, maybe able to finish it tomorrow. Thanks for the suggestions. 😁

Finally done yay

I don't like to discourage writers. No one pays us and all we get are comments for our hard work. So, in the spirit of talking writer to writer, let me give it to you honestly: this is a very poor attempt. You seem unaware of the basics of punctuation. For example: "Hey baby." ,His mom ,Nancy, said... Can you spot the errors? Everyone else can and it tells us all you don't care enough about your readers, your characters or your story enough to double check your work.

There is nothing else in this story to redeem the carelessness with which it was written.

If I were your teacher I would hand this back with an incomplete and tell you to do it over again. At least that is more kind than giving it the D it deserves.

I do care about my readers. I happen to write around rising a toddler having a job and spending time with my husband am I'm not in school so I know my punctuation isn't accurate but heck it's been almost ten years since I've been in school so parson me if I'm not perfect. If you didn't like it don't read it. Have a wonderful one. Good day.

If you're going to hop up on the soap box about grammar, I'd recommend you take a look at that run-on sentence you've got going in your last paragraph.

If I were your teacher, I'd send you home with a report card that read "does not play well with others."

As an ex English teacher, I always asked for the student/writers to hand in a draft. That way I could point out any errors and hope to encourage them in their writings...NOT tear them down.

Professional writers are not perfect either. They have proof readers and editors to help them. So do your best and enjoy writing. If you can find one or both of the above, great. The world won't come to an end if you don't.

Looking forward to your next chapter.

Kydo

I hope you didn't drop it because some people criticized your grammar or whatever!

Well, I enjoyed the story and that's enough for me. I think it has potential!

Please consider starting to write again!

When will you continue this Story? There are so many possibilities with the ring...

Cool Story

Love

No where in this story could I see where he came to realize that the ring was responsible for his good fortune with the woman he met and with the pawn shop guy when he bought the ring. I liked the story, but would like him to 'connect the dots' between him getting what he wants by thinking about it and the rings power to deliver on that wish.

Keep this story going, it is great to this point.

really good start to this story to bad you left us hanging

Not bad but did struggle following storyline, I mean page one all about getting cereals and a box, taking a shower etc, mundane to boring, then there's the spelling, and misplaced full stops and commas not to mention the mispelt words. Proof read the next one before releasing and make sure it flows we didn't need to know his ever second step by step account of what he did. 3 stars is best I can rate this being a first time, until you correct the rest I see little in giving it more