All Comments on 'The Store Slut Finale'

People having sex in public and in a store and it is not illegal or big deal and this girl is worried about losing her reputation, much less about her own brother doing the blackmail? The writing is good and the sex situations hot but this is more like a self indulgent fantasy(from a sub?) where nothing really happens and the heroine is not so much doing anything she does not want as saying, thank you for blackmailing me, thank you for humiliating me, thank you for all the sex, thank you , thank you .

Even by revealing that she is bisexual, every possibility of reluctance or tension which is essential to actually have a story is discarded before hand. This is by no means non-consent, reluctance, BSDM or whatever you want to call it. The first person style does not help either since we cannot know thoughts and motivations of the other people. It is just a self indulgent role playing fantasy.

You got potential and can write OK. Just be daring and write a real unwilling character story and you may have a story. Keep writing!