by rnebular
Fun setup, predictable, but even the best pie in the face slapstick is. Still very funny. Thanks *****
Heh, but I have to tell you, I don't think any story in LW is going to win, no matter how good it is. It's going to have to score in the high 4.8s to win, and I just don't see that in LW. I wish you the best of luck, though. I gave you a five.
I had a radio stunt pulled on me too. I waited in the parking lot and beat the shot out of the DJ after work. She really understands the hashtag # metoo now lol
Zing and kaboom 💣💥.
Very funny flash story. It came with an ending too!!
Unlike the JenniferGray flash "Kate" which has no conclusion.
Good entertainment Rnebular, the great cone approves,lol 😆!!
AMerryman
For a very interesting short.
Gotta admit this little tale trips the fun meter.
So Randi is probably right, this story won't likely win me the contest due to this genre being one of the most difficult. I realize now, I don't care. Sure, the prize money and blue W would be great, but this story was meant for this category. Not only that, but say what you will about our diverse (and often VERY colorful) commentators in LW, you will also not get nearly as many people responding to a story as you do in LW. I have learned to embrace that. When submitting in other categories, I enjoy the happy comments but usually only get 1 or 2 per story. Perhaps I have a bit of narcissist in me, after all ;)
Thank you to everyone that has enjoyed this little flash! I had a lot of fun tossing it around in my head, glad some others got a laugh.
RNebular
Didn’t hate it. Didn’t love it. So I gave you a five, just because it’s Friday.
I feel like there could have been a much broader story here, but you didn’t want to give too much effort.
Simple and I thought a good different story line. Could have been a 5* with just a bit more but that is just my opinion.
There is a great segue into you doing a follow up though and I hope you do soon!
How funny would this story have been if after the husband hung up on the show that the disc jock revealed that the wife was actually in on the joke and the prank was actually on him?
Fun story, either way. Thanks
With just a little more effort this could have been a decent story. You got a whole damn month before April. Why not take the time to write a decent story. My score reflects about the same amount of effort you put into this. 1 star.
dumbass comment from the fool of lit! Dear annony! He sucks and swallows!
Thank you, actually. I appreciate your honest feedback. I sometimes forget that others don't always share my views. I wrote a piece about my styles, and defended my usual need to add more detail than some have liked in the past. I never meant for this to have much backstory, or follow up. The intention here was to tell a quick joke, but I understand the frustration with reading something that's short and you want more. Thanks again,
RNebular
The scene is well presented. Without a lot of setup detail it's easy to accept the open ending. Well done.
Seems neither you nor your proof readers fully understand the English language. The correct title should be “The Joke is on Whom?”
LOL! I can assure you that the title wasn't edited, and put in as I submitted it. Oops!
Thanks
And there's a good chance that this has happened for real, somewhere.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDw9QEkXrsY
Listen and you will hear-it has similar results but not exactly the same scenario as presented to the wife in this tale.
jokes do work especially when they back fire, TK U MLJ LV NV
But then he love when cheating wives get theirs. Kinda of like when HIS wife got hers.....FROM ANOTHER MAN!!!!!!
Thanks for the fun story the local radio DJ's actually pull that stuff quite often and there are some eye opening results.
It must have been after mid-day 'cause the joke certainly was on him.
4*
You even nailed the patter of those annoying DJ's who think they are funny. I agree with the commenter who beat up that poor woman over being pranked on the air. There sometimes is a little retribution both earned and paid. Good luck in the contest but like Randi said, scores in LW land are traditionally low, even for the non cuck stories.
Full marks from the Lowcountry on this one. Hope you win, but the Anonies are to LW what the progressives are to our nation. They will assure we all lose.
A very good flash story...Original, funny and to the point...4*
Simple, well written, readable, and no need for page breaks. I liked it.
Lue
Humor is hard. Don’t be embarrassed that you failed. Thanks for trying.
PS — this is an erotic story site. Next time try writing an erotic story.
Very quick, funny story. Have heard similar spots on live radio end in a like fashion. Not as funny as yours though.
There was no surprise here, at all. So kind of silly really. Thanks for the effort, but the story worth reading is the one only implied by this story.
Not funny, not erotic, no surprises, just boring. And flash stories always suck.
and this story got a good chuckle. Well done...
but for me it was a near miss
close but no cigar
not quite
almost
.
You mention that you can't spell but the grammar has some problems as well. A spell and grammar checker would make it better. The endingB was obvious from very early in the story.
But it was a quck read --- thanks.
by Aussie Bard. You should read that one and see what you think of it.
LMAO, This actually happened here in Houston last year on the radio. It was an awesomely ugly.
I liked the flash story. I wish a sequel would be written.
DOH. Not bad
So what? It was fun! Now do a 2nd story but have it backfire in that the wife is innocent and isn't forgiving for such a stupid prank.
thanks!
Is he gone now? Do you think he believed me? " Half way through my secretary handed me a note telling me i was on the radio, so i played it up."
"April fools, honey. That ought to teach him to mess with me."
I join the chorus asking for part 2. That would be a very interesting story.
Very well done.
In so few words you managed to tell a really good story.
It's complete ........ but it is also open enough to get a part 2 in.
Go on .... be a sport .... you know you want to ... do it for Robert !
I'm not sure that a follow up could top that. Very clever.
I understand your goal. And it was fairly funny. But I miss the confrontation. The yelling and screaming. The recriminations. That's where the fun in these stories lies. Thanks for the effort but next time more depth.
As the wife goes in her house... Trying to think of a good excuse to say to her soon-to-be-ex-husband. That should be a good bit of fun fireworks!!! I know you had a flash story in mind, but what a perfect set-up! If you want to do a follow-up it could sail right out of the park... I see you hittin a grand slam homer in the the 9th inning. Excited to read it if you put pen to paper
Lighten up, you say.
Okay. We can't take this even semi-seriously.
Husband should demand wife take a lie detector test regarding her fidelity to the marriage (i.e. who, who when, why, and how - i.e. everything), and IF he decides to stay with her there needs to be an ironclad post nuptial agreement that includes HEAVY penalties for adultery and requires regular lie detector tests. Of course divorcing the cheating b-tch, and notifying her company that she broke the morals code would be good. Chances are the guy is also married - time to investigate and notify that guys wife.
On second read...5-stars & Favorite
I think my head must have been up my ass that week... okay, month.
Maybe because it was so uncomfortable a read I felt bad at the end when I first read it. On this second read, much later, seeing you were able to make me uncomfortable, yet give a sad chuckle at the end, I see it’s a superior story BECAUSE you can make me feel a bit bad/sad.
This reminds me of something I saw/heard on YouTube. Father finds out daughter's a prostitute on the radio
Original. And to think, just wanting to play a joke on his wife, she admitted to adultery. On the air! Would love for you to either re-write (so to speak) to add a what happened then. Nothing 20 pages, just perhaps another page. Really enjoyed this story. 4 stars Bob