by Skippy47
I didn't even finish this. It's an idiotic piece of adolescence. If you read this first, don't waste your time on the story.
Godawful. That's the only word that comes to mind. Why is everything in quotes? Did you even read this mess? Horrible excuse for a story.
please end the story with both in prison for life or dead. Only thing you gave the reader to root for was to see both of these pieces of shit die or be put away for life.
Back and forth perspectives did not work. The cutting of penis, beating with bat amd especially super glue were over the top.
Why do people put words together and think they can write well.Boring stupid and badly written.Dont waste your time
I am a patient man also. I read this all the way to the end. It was funny, kind of, anyway.
a very sick writer. Cutting off dicks and beating people with ball bats? How did you dream up this kind of subtle revenge? Starting paragraphs that have no dialogue with quotation marks was a great touch, if your goal was to show how mentally unstable you are. 5 *s and 😐😐😐😐!
AMerryman
Silly question for a stupid story - Why does Farrah have to be released for the Reverend's claims of healing to be verified?
Too much peanut butter makes you anally retentive.
Not even sure what this was supposed to be, seems like the story had an identity crisis.
Being the only L/W story today = 1pt.
Not being a willing cuck = 1pt.
Creativity = 1pt.
morbid humor = 1pt.
Big woman with a baseball bat = 1pt.
Pissed off wife with pinking shears = 1pt.
Super glue, butt plug and catheter = -1pt.
Not as good as your first story = -1pt.
Total = 4pts.
. . . were required to come up with this story?
Well, Hell, I guess it deserves a 5 just for winning the Most Over The Top LW story ever!
So the Rev didn’t get what he wanted. I get it, he wanted to parade Farrah around like a trained monkey, didn’t wan it wearing orange or living behind bars. Why didn’t he offer to heal Riley? A veteran victimized by his whore wife draws a lot of attention.
I must be, because I actually finished the story!
At first, I thought this to be written by someone who was a total BTB angry guy, when Riley had a Private Investigator friend -- a too typical BTB story trope -- investigate his wife five times during their first seventeen years of marriage. I mean, WTF, five times? Lack of trust there.
Then we got to the pinking shears. I laughed out loud at that one! You don't want to leave a situation in which the dick can be sewn back on? Flush the 'distal penis' down the toilet! That was Lorena Bobbit's mistake; she threw it down on the ground, where it could be found.
I have a mental image of someone having to go diving in the septic tank to find said flushed distal penis. :)
The story kept getting more hysterically funny with every paragraph thereafter.
Yucky. Thought for a moment I had walked into a scat fetish masquerading as a loving wives story. Anyhow, does the daughter come out of this okay? Hate to see the kids caught up as collateral damage in a scorch the earth domestic crisis.
I was mostly reminded of those violent cartoons where the cat and mouse do horrible things to each other - kind of like "Itchy and Scratchy" in "The Simpsons".
It might have been better if the "farce" aspect, and the wife's point of view, had shown up earlier. The "over-the-top" violence kind of turned me off, since I didn't think of the "cartoon" aspect. And it's always interesting to see a BTB story where both sides get burned!
Any writer who would actually write “incur my wrath” has got to either be funny or a douche.
The author should take the time to learn how to use quotation marks. That was a bit embarrassing.
Two cheaters destroying each other is perfect karma
5/5
Hilarious job of work, loved the pinking shears, butt plug and painstaking catheter work, with sides so consumed with revenge that this tale could be classed as biblical.
Not a single, likable character in the entire story. Lots of mistakes. The biggest of which was her revenge. She knocks him out with sleeping pills and screws with his dick and asshole. But nowhere do you mention her restraining him. So when he wakes up, he calls the police and the ambulance. All done. Or, since he's ranting and raving, that means he can talk and YELL! Which means the caregivers help him. Just a really messy story. Certainly belongs in another category like non-con or fetish or non-erotic.
1 star
They maybe awful characters but there is a certain lower level of humor playing in the background.
So yeah - this was a story featuring pretty loathsome individuals doing ridiculously vicious things to each other, one of them being a hypocritical sociopath, and the other, a just-as unbalanced, faithless cunt...
Once again, only feel sorry for their kid.
Now, just because the subject matter wasn't to your liking doesn't at all make this effort was bad per say; it only means that you do not have a morbidly dark sense of humor. There sure seems to be a whole lot you guys around here, so, if that happens to describe you, a friendly advice: make sure to never, ever watch Danny DeVito's "The War of the Roses" - your sensitivities will not be able to handle a movie about a couple who hate each other just as much as the Baxters do here.
Me? I took the whole thing properly just as the author meant it to be: as a comedy. I mean, fuck, Riley's a true scumbag, and his wife, Farrah, is just as much of a degenerate. To muster the effort to be outrage about what happened to either one of them here, I have to, at the very least, feel some empathy towards one and/or the other... and I don't. At all. I truly believe they deserved every misfortunes that happened to them and, quite worst, each other. That's why I applaud Skippy47's decision to make Riley suffered just as much, if not more, as Farrah did. I actually wouldn't mind reading about a sequel where their daughter tells us how her parents wound up dead! That would be fucking hilarious to read such an account, learning how those two buffoons tried to one up each other with "Saw"-level setups, 'til they finally end up killing each other. Which is really the only way such a story should end.
So good job, author. No, it's not as good as your first effort, but, then again, if reconciliation was always the norm, half the world wouldn't divorced, wouldn't it? Ignore the faints of heart, around here - this was entertaining, like watching a wreck in slow motion... But in a good way... If such a thing is possible... So carry on! ⋆⋆⋆⋆
Do you have any idea what quotation marks are for? Never mind, you obviously don't. All narrative, no dialog. Boring at best.
2* for beeing the only story today. But I prefer to be "patient" and wait for better contributions than this one.
Need to learn how to properly use quotations. Very distracting and quit halfway thru.
But this is one truly fucked up revenge story. Period. Both are so fucking angry. To super glue the parts she did. What do you think he will do to her?
Two stars because of the improper use of quotation marks. Distracting as hell to read.
A dark one, but a comedy nonetheless. I enjoyed it as such.
This tale is hilarious. You have the worst people ever born in the same tale married and trying to out revenge each other. The stunts are epic.
Remember, in fiction, anything goes. Now we need the seven year sequel.
Five Stars
Nothing more to say than this is a stupid story. No likeable characters. Virtually no plot.
R.
I was prepared to hate the story until the wife got revenge. Well done.
I love "The War of the Roses", but other than being dark and over the top, this isn't that much like it. In "Roses" we see the good side to both of the characters, we see reasons for them to do some of the initial things they do, the movie gives us reasons to kinda root for each character as well as root for them to reconcile, and as the movie goes on we might agree less and less with the increasingly scorched earth tactics they take with each other, but I didn't HATE either of those characters. Hell, there are even teases throughout the movie (even right at the end before they die) that make you think they might just reconcile. In this story we only see them at their worst, think if Roses started during the final murderous standoff in the house (the final act) instead of first showing us the humanity of these people and how their mental states progressed to this final stage for most of the movie, the feel of the struggle would have been different, like seeing random pot smoking, pre-marital sex having "cool teens" get killed in some 80's slasher flick. Nobody would give a shit how it ends. That's how this felt to me, just horrible people being horrible, characters whose lives concern me less than that of a random digital pedestrian in a GTA game.
The character were real badasses, What is the point a living in these situations. just to get revenge?
Skippy47
A nice dark take on the cheating wife - vengeful husband plot. I half expected you to finish your tale with the ending that Evil Wifey was incarcerated in the same prison that her adulterous partner's wife was placed - the one who became the Gang Leader.
This story really has no place here. And what’s even worse is there happens to be a few sick individuals who liked it. I have no more faith in humanity.
This story is just plain STUPID. So STUPID I couldn't maintain enough interest to finish the first page. If you start spouting faith healing about worthless disgusting characters then list it as sci fi or fantasy or with unicorns, faries, and pixie dust. I predict a very short association between you and literotica and never rising above mediocre scores. I have look at two of your stories and see no reason to look at any more. Perhaps you would benefit from an editor who could advise you about plot development and or content.
anonjerry
Really, pretty sick story with no redeeming characters. Especially Riley. Wonder how they got the catheter out. 😂
a great piece of writing. You did well in capturing the hate-filled milieu.
A story worthy of a budding E.A. Poe.
Love your stories, true and realistic war of the roses type stories. Keep up the good work. Would make awesome tv, like opposite love american style.....10
How stupid of me to think that you could write a good story.
This was total shit.
It is really good to find out that some authors in Literotica only have very ordinary and limited imaginations, otherwise we might get very twisted stories of patiently perverted and prurient revenge!
Other than bemoaning the short length and limited imagination, I think this story is worth every one of the sharp pointed and painful looking things that get awarded for literary effort.
The revenge details are good. The revenge cycle is not closed so if you wanted to make it dark you need to kill somebody here.
But if you wanted to make us think that the moral of the story is "revenge is bad" then you missed the point. Since you made wife into a cheater initially and husband as faithful then you lost balance when you made revenge to be even. It will not score much affection around here. 2 stars from me.
5*****. Just to get revenge on all the low scores, I'm a Patient Man too......
All plugged up with super glue....LOL
Guess she didn't think what she got for punishment was quite fair...Hahahahaha
Both cheaters both punished
Where tied up? Don't remember reading that part
Muscles be almost too weak as he only performed in public and care givers not physical therapists
The first half was fun, but the second half... YIKES! Interesting story.
1. Yuk. Quite a comedown from his first Lit story, "I Want A Divorce." Fortunately, he did better than this after this.
While I understand the violence, it was too extreme to me. The story is creative, well presented and clear. All of this could have been quelled by just talking with one another. Pride and selfishness can kill any couple and fast. Thank you for the story. Jan K.
They both need removed from the living. I have an ostomy bag; it beats being dead,
A bit hokey, but I love it. They were truly made for each other. She has seven years to plot against him. It seems she's become a patient woman
At the end of the 1nd page, a little after the attack in the office, I stopped reading. 2 stars. I'm all for cheaters getting what they deserve, but this's going out in left field. No. Not my kind of story Bob