All Comments on 'The Dark Chronicles Ch. 01'

Your retelling of this tale is inspirational to other authors. It's little wonder it took more than a year in the making, the development, and the process of restoring something this old and steadfast to a delightfully fresh new concept.

You used the tools you were given with precision, and your imagination in bringing the characters to life in a way no one ever has is nothing short of spectacular. The original was brilliant, and your version is like breathing fresh air and new life into an old story gone stale. Yet, at the same time, it maintains it's dark-age tone. It will be interesting to see how the readers of this platform view the story as it unfolds.

However, one must be allowed a moment of pedantry. The age in which you have set your re-telling that land was called Prydain NOT Albion, a name that came into being several centuries later when a different tribe came here. The people of whom you wrote were the Brython (Brythoniaid) whose language was a variant of the modern Welsh (Celtic people). The man was Myrddin Wyllt. He only became 'Merlin' courtesy of Geoffrey of Monmouth who wasn't born until 1095 AD. Just a thought. Good tale nevertheless.

I did say I was playing fast and loose :).

Maerlyn has a word or two later in the story about the pretenders to the tale, and you will have sensed already his attitude towards clerics and turnip growers. Master Geoffrey would fall into one of those categories, or both.

You will also observe his refrain, "I was there." He would look askance at someone who came along five hundred years later, pretending to be authoritative.

I am surprised so little has been said about this chapter. I for one am intrigued by the freshness of the story this far and can't wait to read more. Excellent start.

You have managed to convey tension and a sense of both foreboding and anticipation, extremely well written in all regards, characterisation, scene setting etc etc, I’m quite frankly blown away.

Many thanks for writing and posting, cheers Ppfzz.