All Comments on 'Exit Strategy'

About as dry as a desert and far less lively. Really the only thing I feel the need to comment on is the remark that five and a half years of fidelity "earns" second chance. Clearly those five and a half years meant nothing to her, so why should they mean anything to the husband? Not sound logic from a character who's defined by logic.

and I'm sure you'll get better.

I like . It gives a good fresh new way to beat the standard " Honey we need to talk".

Keep up the fresh approach .

An auspicious start. I look forward to your next story.

please do tell what happens later

Well, for your first attempt I think you did very well, very well indeed!

I did find the dialogue in the confrontation to be overly plicated and emotionless from both sides, thus making the storyline somewhat clinical and a bit slow. Having said that, it was really fun story to read and I'm really looking forward to your next one. Thanks again

good first submission

It was well written and a different take on the "we need to talk" scenario. Unfortunately, a completely unemotional reaction to that kind of confrontation doesn't make for a very exciting read. Long dialogue sections tend to feel like someone delivering a monologue rather than a fluid conversation between people.

I liked that he took the wind out of her sails by not giving a shit that she was leaving. Offering the cheating slut a chance at reconciliation seemed a bit weird though. If his philosophy was just to move on and treat her as if she was dead, why would he want to get back together with a corpse? 6 years of fidelity means nothing if a spouse is unfaithful... the separation thing was too wishy washy.

Having the young hottie replacement lined up was a nice touch. I can see why he was eager to move the whore out of his house.

I laughed the whole way through this little vignette!

Not a bad story, but way to wordy. Trim it down some.

It’s so refreshing to have some new talent in this forum. A good story. Well written. Unique. This category has been getting more and more sick and twisted. Hope to see more of your stories soon.

I am sorry, but you are confused.

We live in 3Dimensional world. Everything happens in 3s.

Love & Hate are opposite. Indifference is in the middle.

I hope this helps.

Otherwise story is OK, thank you for writing!

Reading a telephone book would be more interesting. The idea that the protagonist would even consider taking the bitch wife back turned my stomach.

This was a weird story but let me just say, for your first story it's not bad but it's not that great either. I felt it was way too wordy. The dialogue was super annoying, emotionless, boring and confusing. It was the calmest "I've been fucking someone else and I'm leaving you for him" story I've ever read. There was no emotion, no substance, no depth. The story was just very boring. I'm giving you a 4 because despite all that. It was STILL better than the sick fuck cuck wife watching bullshit that's been plaguing literotica since 2016. I would read more of your stories.

Husband didn't fight for his marriage at all. No wonder she cheated on him.

The robot found out that his wife is cheating on him. In this way, human beings certainly do not react 1*

Nice different plot.

But a bit muddled at times.

Certainly positive and fun to read.

4 out of 5 from me.

I want to find out what going to happen.

Then it went off the rails. Why the ridiculous one way conversation? You are telling the story in first person, so you can give us both sides. The dozens of women, all younger with bigger tits wanting the cheated upon husband is pretty standard. For your first story, it was pretty good. You just need to focus on your plot and avoid becoming too wordy while wandering around aimlessly at the end. Work on your exit strategy.

You definitely left this open to a sequel. Maybe a leg up on a second story. Good job.

I'm afraid to tell you but, this is boring.

Nothing much happens. So dispassionate it is like a recipe more than a story.

The opposite of your pseudonym, lol.

Thanks for the effort WAH. Better next time I'm sure.

AMerryman

Well written, would like to see an ending . To see the ex wife go belly up. Or see if this guy takes her back and plays her to see how she likes it

Either way 5 stars

For your first tale, this was fantastic. You nailed one of the best ways to deal with a cheater - complete indifference, or at least pretending to be indifferent.

5/5

What I can't understand is why the woman ever wanted to marry this empty husk of a humanoid. Guess he was a convenient place holder until she found a man with a heart and soul. I should condemn her cheating, but can you cheat on a robot?

Just another shallow tepid distant marriage, and I use the word marriage very loosely. The wife is probably better off, just escaping from this sociopath. The husband will never be OK, he's an empty soul. Hope he find's a woman willing to share time and space with him. She'll never share anything more.

I'm a dialogue freak and I like a guy who plans ahead. I hope you have a few more in you. If you did your own proofreading, more kudos.

The over 30 "beautiful" women on the list seemed a bit unrealistic, but it is your story.

Great first story.

weirdly entertaining

But this on really does need a follow up.

Our hero being confronted by the wife stealing bastard after the divorce. How would he handle it? Detached indifference in the face of an egotistical deviant who gets off on conquest trying to maintain " I'm a nice guy and we didn't mean to fall in love" facade?

What would he do then?

Nice first effort. What do you have next?

Another chapter?

It was a pleasure for once to read a story where the husband wasn't blind sided. I think most of your readers will agree with me that I hope the wife stays gone. Good job.

i hope you will give us more like to find out what happens to the whore and her boyfriend and him of course

I enjoyed the story, but towards the end you started to ramble. I can’t wait to see more from you.

Not quite sure what to make of this one. Felt a little flat, like it was being told by Mr. Spock.

I liked the bit about "We need to talk." No, SHE wants to talk!

I liked the Christine Lavin reference. I'm not familiar with whatever song you're referencing, but I do know her work.

It doesn't feel much like a story; more like a lecture.

Difficult to believe this is your first story. Very cleanly written. Characters well defined and the story flowed well with no confusion. I look forward to your future submissions. Thanks for sharing. A Five from me.

I love this story because the description of his early life adds understanding to how the farewell scene works out. The wrap-up phone conversation underscores his detached approach to his own life and is entirely in keeping with the rest of the narrative.

My question, though, is whether he is truly capable of love since he expects all things to end and has adopted a stoic approach to life.

I would have almost expected the departing wife to be emotional and say things like "I never felt connected to you," "you're aloof and you can't be intimate," and "I needed more (e.g., intimacy) than you could provide and I couldn't go on without that from someone." However, she seems almost as detached as he does (albeit in his telling of the story). Makes me wonder what kind of man she's leaving him to be with.

I rarely rate a first higher than a 3*. But you definitely deserve a 4*. I would love to see a follow up to these characters!

Its not the hot stuff. It was the way you worded it. Im like that guy you made up. do more Ill read and give ya some stars.

#ASPERGER'S SYNDROME

A follow up would be great.

Thank you for publishing it here.

I like original. 5*

In a fairly "just the facts, m'am" way.

Not clear to the casual observer is that his attitude is probably really, really difficult to live with, so some slack might be shown to Cindy.

Shrugs.... might have a story where the new guy is a predator, might have one where he is a victim of Cindy looking for a way out, could have one where this is just the way normal people get out of relationships that don't work for them.

What you don't have is a story that exercises the commentariat's feelings of being abused, dissed, and underappreciated. I suspect you won't get much slack for that.

An interesting first attempt - I would read more about the character, but I'm kinda weird about that kind of thing.

Good luck.

Green-something

He sounded like he would wait around and take her back. Nice change up in the end.

I lost track of which person was which due to a lack of "he said" and "she said" markers.

Surely you can't leave us hanging? You need to let us know what happens and how the wife gets burned by her new man. Coming back after a year with her tail between her legs and no money or place to live, she finds his new - much fitter - live in lover and is devastated by her stupid choices.

Both characters came across as unemotional and blocky. The wife and husband could have reversed roles and been the same person.

Not bad at all ... 4+

Liked it,enough said.

A good story today! For that you deserve a Thank You!

I like the development of the protagonist. But that's because the character shares some life events and general outlook with me.

The story itself left a lot unanswered. But as a first effort, it was very good.

It’s seems writing is best when it’s a natural talent, like yours. I couldn’t write my way out of a paper bag. Enjoyed your story immensely, how about another?

Loved the story.....not the usual pain and emotions but an unusually calm and prepared strategy. However, while we're told about his endless possibilities afterwards, I sorely missed hearing what she would actually do.

She was totally unprepared for his calm response and immediately doubted the wisdom of her actions. He had sown the seeds of doubt. It was great to enjoy the new relationship with her boyfriend and she expected the usual acrimonious parting. Instead I think she was captivated by his unusual response. Normally one feels great to be leaving the old shit but instead she must have felt a new found respect. So she grasps the separation idea.

I think there are grounds for a continuation.

Nice first story. Keep up the good work.

I wasn't thrilled with the author commenting just before the phone conversation

There are a lot of LW writers who handle the technical side of writing adeptly, but who rely on stock characters (especially the weak, unmasculine LW husband) and tired plot devices. They get higher scores than they deserve. This little story shows some creativity. The technical side of the writing needs to be improved, and the weird openness to reconciliation hurt your story by making your protagonist seem "flat" and a bit wimpy. Nevertheless, I gave you a 5, partly for writing something fresh and interesting, and partly to encourage you.

AND, not a little, HILARIOUS, I loved it. Thank You it was a truly a refreshing change to the overly emotional breakup scene, although reality could change that especially if the cheated-on husband hadn't developed the rather unique ' thick skin' a well deserved 5****

and a thought. The one thing about LW category is the drama. By making him flat emotionally you took all that drama away and the potential for a more intense story. Good try for a first though 4*

Entertaining and flowing for the most part. But people do like endings written not guessed. Just sayin'

. . . would have been more emotional. The real Devil Anse would have put a musket ball in the guts of whomever was fucking his wife, then walked up, to make sure his victim knew who shot him and why, before cutting his throat, and he’d have done so the day he found out about the affair.

Of course, the real Devil Anse’s wife would never have cheated, because she would have known that would be a death sentence, for her as well as her lover, and no one who knew Anse would ever dream about fucking his wife.

If this is your first story, congratulations. You did well. I enjoyed the dialogue and the plot. I didn't admire the one-sided phone conversation, but you seem to have real talent.

There are pitfalls on every hand, but you avoided them here. Read some stories by the OGs and you'll see what works. I wish you the best. You've got some good writers viewing you favorably.

Write another, please. I'll be looking for your name. Randi.

As the Boy Scout's motto says, "Be Prepared."

Great 1st story. Keep them coming, please.

Thank you. I enjoyed your writing. A different take since you took out the emotions, but it was nice to see that the cheating spouse was not going to get away with much.

I enjoyed your writing and your premise. Wish I’d done that when it happened to me.

As noted, since he's telling the story, and he knows what the person on the other end of the call is saying, there's no reason for us not to know.

I'll give you credit for trying a "cute" gimmick, but it was too forced and artificial.

My first thought, no one is this civilized. Then I remembered the title and realized that I had been sucked in by a good story teller. You did a great job setting up your characters back story which backed up his thought processes. And by the way, he figured it out six months before hand. Again, great job and I look forward to reading more of your work.

3* for well written good plot and good character development of the husband.

Wife, her friends and the other man are unknown.

Need some drama in next story. I like for the good guy or girl to win but your hero was so perfect and prepared that there was no drama or suspense. Didn’t care about any of the characters.

Especially for a first effort. I liked the plot and the dialogue with the soon-to-be ex-wife. The phone conversation was a little difficult but I got the gist of their conversation. Well played. Hope to see more from you. Thanks for the effort.

I really enjoyed this story and wish you well with future ones. I look forward to reading many more.

I agree that this is a great first story. I really like your protagonist and his reaction to the "talk". I hope you have a chapter two planned to continue the story. Really good work.

I enjoyed the new take on the "Honey...." kick and even enjoyed the one side conversation with "office mom". 5* and keep up the good work.

The phone convo at the end was hilarious. Good, solid job for your first, I look forward to more from you!

Not bad im impressed. quick concise and he wasnt a gutless asshat who let his wife fuck around. nice 5 stars

Terrific start to a story that could fall 10 different ways. It ain't over until it's over.

MORE !

I read a lot here but seldom comment. Loving wives is a difficult category with only so many ways to handle the cheating wife scenario, and you have written a unique take on it. It's interesting and hope you continue.

Definitely a new take on it. I can see it going 3 ways. I can't wait for the result with a couple of twists to it too.

indifference is the complete lack of love. zero attachment.

i'v gotten mad at cheaters, and i'v been indifferent towards others. and trust you me, indifference really hurts them. but i'm not gonna moral grand stand, if you get into an emotional rage in front of your spouse ..you'll probably feel catharsis. i'v taken my anger out on walls, and it's....wonderful. while therapy is nice, letting it all out on a wall with your hands and feet really gets out immediate toxic build-up.

but long term...indifference. fake it till you make it...i'd suggest. they won't get an ounce of satisfaction from you. they want to feel bad or good about their sins. don't feed that toxic fire. some cheaters WANT you to scream at them, punish them even. don't. just leave. unless you're a scummy person, you don't deserve it. and you'll SHOW them that YOU matter, and they DONT. they'll regret it prolly lol

I have been reading on this site for more than 15 years. I always go straight to the comments before reading a story. Sbrooks is a good writer but he comes across as a pompous a$$ when I read his comments. Sir, just critique the story but don't be an ass.

Stopped being concise. Giving her a chance to change her mind. Explaining your ending twist with a phone call. Making that call un-concise and a bit opaque.

It ended up needing the newb one to be a four.

But please keep going, it appears you got serious game!

Thanks for sharing a good one!

Wow a man prepared for the question we have to talk. Already set with his prenup and ready to replace this dumb female . We need more imput on the why she decided to cheat . What caused her to seak another. Just divorce her. To many good fish in the sea.

...earlier anonymous was right on when they said it was like reading a phone book. Almost stopped halfway through the first page, but soldiered on. Like being in a room listening to a boring conversation droning on and on. Like watching grass grow or paint dry. Needed some kind of action, or non robotic emotion. 2 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

The conversation is broke., And the plot a mess. It looks like he's planning on dumping one slut for another and cheating on 3 women at the same time. What the f

Good job. Liked the story...good to have the bloke in control.

4*s

... he does seem shallow, and pretty early on. So hard to like the guy and get too sympathetic to his situation. So it’s like ‘Wow, smart guy. Really has a handle on his bitch. Too bad he’s kind of a dick. I guess they deserved each other.’

Else, pretty good writing. I had no trouble with the dialogue.

Thanks. 4-stars

Very bland, no emotion shown by either of the protagonists.

Maybe it's a sign of how much of an ass I am, but I don't think I said anything so terrible, I think several other writers made similar points.

In any case, please feel free to skip my comments, I don't plan on changing any time soon.

Nice first effort. Good creativity. This piece was a welcome change from the normal LW stories that at times resemble trench warfare.

I agree with HDK, in the addition of the phone conversation at the end was not needed and, in my opinion, detracted from the story.

Overall, an enjoyable quick read. Looking forward to seeing more of your submissions.

I read this story, and I was sure I've read it before. Nobody else has mentioned feeling that they've read it before, so it must be a huge case of deja vu. But still, I feel like there's a 99.99% chance I've read this story before, from the opening, to the part about the Communications background, to the office manager list. Everything. But I searched, and couldn't find another version of this on here. So it must just be me.

Enjoyable story. Not perfect (what is?), but enjoyable.

After this mumbo-jumbo:

"Do you know what the opposite emotion to love is? Most people think that love's opposite is hate, but it isn't. It's indifference."

It becomes clear the writer is amateur "psychologist" like so many mumbo-jumbo types on LW. Let me take just take one issue with this crap. First of all, the indifference is not an emotion. Second, one could easily say that indifference is also opposite to hatred. But it isn't emotion at all. The indifference is emotionally vacuous state, usually due to emotional exhaustion.

And make no mistake, if there are "opposites" in emotions then hatred and love are indeed the opposites. Assuming the emotions are dimensional. Got it?

I liked your protagonist: I know people like him, so his actions and reactions seem right to me. I enjoyed the contrast between him and his wife at the beginning: you establish her as a completely different personality right off the bat. The Office Mom all eager to set him up is a nice touch. As BlackRandl and HardDaysKnight pointed out, you could have included both sides of the phone conversation: I think you could have had some fun contrasting their styles, too.

If this had been me, I'd have put this aside for a few weeks, and come back and edited it. I think Cindy loses her distinctive speech pattern as their conversation progresses, and almost starts sounding like Protagonist (considered, pragmatic, less emotional).

Thank you for writing and posting, and I'll be looking for more from you!

GA

is his care for the Boy Scouts and their Motto,,,,Be Prepared and he was, TK U MLJ LV NV

that this is the first story you've ever written. But if you say so...

The telcon with his auntie/office mom really fleshed out (nudge nudge) the story. Nice touch. I look forward to the second story you ever write, and the second, and the third, und so wieter.

Thanks.

I know it goes against the grain of this category , but sometimes you've had as much of them as they have of you !

Happens a lot. That Veneer of lust just fades right away after a few years of someone who is as narcissistic as this wife was written to be .

Seeing how she's not going to be able to rape him in the divorce , he should be out partying with Bob Kraft in Florida ! Lmao.

Good job WA .

With plenty of space for imagination as to what was said on the other side of the telephone conversation. I was curious about why he was so sure that the thief would pull the trigger on the divorce in the first week I can see him dropping out of the competition as soon as he sees his expectatives in black and white.

Liked it. For a first story this was well written and entertaining. Hope to read more soon. Ninety six comments on first story, not a bad start. Thanks for the entertainment. (signed ML)

It was just too dry and bloodless for me to really like it for that long. If it had been half that length, I think I'd have liked it.

good.

"Partying with Bob Kraft"? OK that was funny. You would think a billionaire could work out something discreet and private, would you not?

My only suggestion to the author is ban anon comments if possible. Three quarters of them are useless. Good exploration of an interesting original idea. Get angry and emotional and you make mistakes. Don't get mad, get even all that.