All Comments on 'Losing Half'

Really enjoyed the draft I read. This version is even better! Love the plot flow and really engaging characters that aren’t cookie-cutter. With the submissions the last few days, this really stands out for a good reason.

Thank you johnadp, this is a great tale of heartbreak and redemption. They are happier separate than they were together, which I have seen in several cases with my friends who have divorced. Everyone plans for forever, but when you are 18, most people don't know themselves well enough yet. I applaud those that can last. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Rnebular

I really enjoyed the story. It’s well written, it didn’t drop any names or words, had interesting characters that were believable and likable, an antagonist suffering consequences, reasons why, and it made a point to show that sometimes good intentions aren’t always as good as intended. In this case family time did not end up being what was intended and sometimes the adults in a family do not understand that their relationship needs feeding just as much as the relationship with the children or family as a whole. I think that this actually could’ve worked well either way with them going separately or ending up reconciling (which is not the normal way I prefer stories to end), however, choosing to have the couple move forward separately was probably the best choice given the characters developed. For me stories need to be real enough for the characters and the plot to be believable but it doesn’t have to be “real life” to be effective. I don’t read stories here, or otherwise, that could be counted on as the news; so happy endings and relatively happy endings are great even though that’s not necessarily real life. Thanks for writing this story and posting it here.

A somewhat different approach from either BTB or RAAC, A very welcome change.

I like the way you managed to build some drama and tension into your narrative.

Even though the readers got a pretty good idea of what was going to happen very early, you were able to hold our attention and craft an at least moderately good story from the same-old, same-old LW turf. Well done.

The wife seemed to do a 180 turnaround in the divorce from greedy to compassionate, but still very good.

Sometimes you have to know when to stop.

I feel it should have ended around the end of page 4 or start of 5. Everything after was superfluous and just dragged on. We already had everything we needed. The rest felt like trying too hard to convince us the MC was a great guy. It is like in sales, once you have them hooked, stop selling. You kept selling and by the end, I no longer was interested.

Seriously, up to the end of page 4, I felt the story was fantastic. You did an incredible job of tying off all lose endings. You really addressed every question and resolved everything, probably better than ANY story I have ever read in LW. I was giving you a much deserved 5. Then I saw there were 2 more pages left and thought, "what the hell is left to say?"

Sorry, but that last page and a half was 25 to 30% of the story and was not needed. That greatly lowered my score.

KB

A good story about imperfect people - just like real life! Forgiveness was good for everyone's soul. Thanks.

I thought that I saw the RAAC clouds on the horizon for a while, but thankfully we avoided that storm.

Well written and developed. Thanks for sharing your work.

and her divorce lawyer was a schmuck, he was able to circumvent the divorce provisions of the state of CA. Daniel got to determine the settlement she was entitled to. And she agreed.

That's why laws exist: to define fairness in settlements between unequal parties.

Nice take on some old ideas and well done on it not being eith a BTB or Recon ...

Still, it was far too predictable. Add to that the propensity to bounce around in time almost led me to dropping the tale half way through. This also muted, IMO, the emotional character development.

Still, glad I finished the read. Gave you 4*. Fix the OBTW and jumping around and you have a pretty solid 5*.

it was close to a 5 until he started giving in. He destroyed everything just to give her more. Why give her anymore than the court order.

5 stars for a story where both spouses end up happy and still talking to each other.

Please keep writing, you keep the reader engaged.

It is nice to read a fresh story that demonstrates both the clinical and emotional reaction to the demise of a marriage. Always two sides to the story. I especially enjoyed the fact that both primary characters grew in positive directions while the real moral failure, Tom, received a slow painful punishment. Well done.

5 stars

Just couldn’t make the leap and believe the slightly amicable ending for this divorce based on how it started. And Trying to win her back? Not seeing the kids was too much for me. But I still really enjoyed it!

Wife loved the fact that MC always put kids first... But was easily convinced that he'd have more kids, and cut his old kids off...? That doesn't make sense.

I enjoyed the premise, but some of the things the wife said just confuse me. Clearly the divorce was due to both of them, but the wife ended their marriage in a way that was clearly in the wrong.

A very good story, from what is becoming a very good author. I don't really care for the ending as I don't think that after a betrayal of that magnitude the two people would be that amicable. After her discussions with lover were overheard, I wouldn't think they could ever be civil again. Your story drew me in quickly and kept my interest to the end and that's really the bottom line. My biggest pleasure in a LW story is seeing the cheating lover destroyed. I prefer physical damage, but this retribution worked well. Very well done John.

. . . one of your longer comments, expanded. Yeah, it wasn’t BTB or RAAC, but where others see this as realistic, I really don’t. Of course, any story which involves a multimillionaire businessman is starting out in rarified ground, something with which only a few readers can really empathize. I’m not poor, but I sure can’t appreciate the problems of people with millions.

Perhaps the moral of the story is just let it go, and yeah, eventually that’s what we all have to do regarding anything that hampers us — unless we want to go to jail — but that’s somehow an unsatisfying story.

I didn’t score this because I didn’t think my judgement was fair to the story.

They live at an unbelievable altitude... Not much oxygen around, they are all suffering from oxygen starvation as indicated by their actions

which showed a realistic side to how infidelity can blow things up.

toooooooooooo much dribble. this unedumacated statement will not appear on page here. your mall to much full of self. slap hapy papy #9

This was littered with unnecessary and irrelevant details. It certainly could have been whittled down from 6 excruciating pages to a manageable 3 pages. I lost interest when the writer continuously made use of the derogatory, "R word", the sign of a lazy and ignorant person.

It wasn’t perfect but dame close, life has its ups and downs ,shit happens. He lost track of his wife’s needs , she got sucked into a affair to make up for her Loneliness. They divorce , the part with letting his business dealings and letting it appear to sink was over the top.he made out and threw her a few crumbs. 200 million he gives her the 4 million dollar house.she lets him off the hook buy not opening the divorce settlement. Life can be a bitch and then you die. We all die.

Good slice of life story, but the poor writing became a distraction. Should have been better. Also, nothing really sexy on a site with erotica in its title.

He, he.... Cum in my security code.

Way too much unnecessary rubbish, this was really a 3 page story at most. Get better editors who will be honest and tell you to cut out half of what you write.

Great story, what l particularly liked was the in-depth characterizations & tempo together with a maturity that seldom finds its way onto this forum.

Thanks again, looking forward too you’re next posting

Good stuff but these 2 were ripe for reconcilliation all along. And good job destroying boy toy.

Good story about a bupid stitch

This was very well thought out, written, and presented. Keep up the good work!

Great plot, excellent excecution, only few little errors. Fully deserves 5*.

Well written and thought out plot. Loved the social media thing. I wish I'd thought of that. The part with hiding the company was a little over the top, but made for good fodder in the story.

I just don’t like the bitch getting away with her treachery. She got a new husband, a $4 million house, a new career, her kids and never really paid a price. A little emotional thing because she felt guilty Is nothing.

My ex and I had the same deal. I would work and bring home the money. She would stay home and raise the kids. That works fine till she decide time for me to be replace someone else. In the big picture, I’m much better off I found another woman who loves me dearly and we enjoy our time together more than you can imagine.

But she got the house half of my pension and to this day has not apologized or shown any sign of remorse after trashing 37 years of marriage.

If you want to know I have forgiven her. We have talked exactly twice in the last 12 years for maybe a total of three minutes. My daughter attempted suicide she didn’t even bother to call me. My son had to let me know.

So maybe I’m harboring‘s deep resentment I don’t know to be honest I really don’t care I’m completely indifferent to anything she does or says. I wish her well, I don’t wish her any harm, I have absolutely no interest to have anything to do with her again.

So maybe the story reminds me of my experience. And it may shape my opinion of how I read the story. As I said is well written, good character development, actually a pretty good plot., I really like how he manipulated everybody around his company. But it does not take the place of his ex-wife paying a price for destroying his life.

I have known guys like the husband. So fucken arrogant and self absorbed they ignore their spouse and wonder why she strayed. To be real, most of these hotshots are banging their "assistant" or some friends wife way before the wife does. I dated the wife of one after he ditched her for the "assistant" and she had to work two jobs while going to nursing school. He was smug and screwed her out most their assets. Marriages and divorces always have her side, his side and the truth. And the truth is more than just she cheated or he cheated, poor me. I know from fights in my marriage. Its takes two to have a disagreement or argument. And trouble starts way before anyone looks for answers under another skirt or a different set of pants.

Women can rip your heart out, treat you like crap, and the government rewards them. Not only the government, but the victim has to reward them now. Actions speaks much louder then words, her actions totally negated any words she used. Her actions nearly caused him to loose everything, just because he found a way to counter them doesn't make it a mute point.

Reading this story made me think about my own 12 year marriage. How easy it is to get 'lost' in the, kids, business, and life while taking each other for granted, or not. Thinking you are doing the 'right' thing. While only a story I thank you for the 'tune up'.

I've seen so many marriages/relationships fail because couples forget, 1; why they fell in love, and 2; that they are the primary relationship all others revolve around.

Well done on the story.

Good real feel story . I wouldn’t be able to take her back even though both deep down wanted to . He got to play a little and might of helped after it all went to shit but he didn’t cheat. Her excuse which is similar to what a lot of women might say really is a bull shit excuse after cheating. The sneaking was exciting, he owned his own place , they both worked out in the same gym and owing the restaurant probably seeks out plenty of pussy to fuck. The part she leaves out of the time excuse is that he’s working to make there family life better, giving her and the kids plenty of money and it will allow them to ease up a little later on in life because of his hard work. All the while her doing nothing but stuff for herself. At least she realized that she really fucked up with how she went about it and he tried not to be a complete dick about how he treated her after he did what he had to do with the business and money. The system is very floored and for as many scumbag husbands there are there is as many wives who are either ruthless or have attorneys that push them to be . If she didn’t go and fuck some guy and try to take him to the cleaners but tried to really have s conversation with him about changes they both could make to have their marriage be better than they would still be together. Sad end to a good happy family. How would she have acted if the year before he said I think I’m gonna cut back at work , let’s get rid of all the people we have working for us at home and maybe you get a job how she would’ve reacted. I’ve heard this story both ways a hundred times from friends that went through it . At least this outcome wound up ok for all.

Woven in a corporate cocoon. There is just enough reality to make it believable and enough high dollar hijinx to make it fun. Philandering Alex would be an interesting character to expound on more. Andrea got to grow but did not have the pound of flesh removed that would have left many here more satisfied. The kids were a huge focal point but never actually interacted in the story. St. Dan almost lost his halo and that would not be a bad thing. I get it that time wounds all heels and forgiveness is a gift you give yourself but a bit less magnanimous would have been alright too. Enjoyed the story. Thanks for the read. 5*

and it is complete,,,with all the cogs, gears, slip rings and sand in the oil and grease traps, TK U MLJ LV NV

Interestingly enough being sole owner makes you very vulnerable to getting robbed in a divorce. That could happen without cheating even and all of the workers would be potentially up the creek. The social impact would be awful.

Well put together, making certain cheaters did not profit directly from the divorce. He too lost a lot, but good depicting hubbie as human.

If I had to choose between this style or a real delta-team btb fixup on shitwife, then I would always choose ...

...of the anonymous commenters are idiots. Not to long at all. They just have an attention span of a 6 month old.

Very well written and enjoyed it immensely. The only thing off would have been more about him and his new wife.

Well done....enjoyed reading this!

Wonderful story, thank you for sharing with us.

Interesting, entertaining story. Sorry to say, but with court orders locking up the companies funds, I believe that this order would also prohibit him from selling it.

In general a very good story. The author's stories generally have too much backstory, the key elements of which could be included in-line, with much less detail, of course.

Commenters who call other commenters names because their opinions are not identical, are ...

The authors name did not ring a bell but his comments about another story (The Long Game) were spot on for me so I reread Losing Half. Even though I read it before I really enjoyed it the second time. Wish he continues to write.5*

Good plot, well written. The legalities of so easily freezing the company surprised me. Can a company be destroyed so easily?

She did the opposite of apologizing for her affair. I believe entitlement is the word. She felt she entitled to cheat if it made her happy.. Typical response of a Newport Beach wife. And yes, I grew up twelve miles from there.

By far your best story to date; no BTB, but also no RAAC either.

Well in this case both were actually good people. He was wrapped up in his business did not realize he was abandoning her, she was lonely and was looking for attention and got it from another man. It happens, all the time. Think both actually loved each other but lost their way. I also understand her need to get as much as she could from the divorce to protect her kids but she really wasn’t to hurt her husband. This story could have ended up going either way at the end and with a little imagination still could as I still believe from the way the story was told they still loved each other. 5* really great story sad the was they ended up but still who knows what the future could hold.

I thought the story was well-written despite some misuse of words, and the story was engrossing about two failed people unable to compromise their needs. I won't challenge the believability of the story, given what a good lawyer could have done with the facts, but it is OK in this case.

The wife was punished significantly. She may have ended with a house, a husband, children and a job, but she wanted her first husband. And, now, she had a big house, but not the $120 million business that she could have had.

The children were the real casualties, as they are in any divorce.

It occurred to me, whilst reading about her reason for cheating being that she never got any of his time exclusively, that the only person who fared worse in their marriage was him.

Her sense of entitlement came across loud and proud.

I'm glad he walked away but learned his lesson (assuming he was giving himself more of his time).

Evah_Rheddy

As for the story I think it was well written with a good plot.

lujon2019, why are you always so negative? I have never seen a comment from you that was in anyway positive to the author, the story, or any of the characters in any story. It must be a sad life for you.

These 'you never had any time for me' excuses rarely seem to wash for me. Maybe knowing numerous women who have lives of their own and shit to do has skewed my opinion of these slackers. Still, like they said, they were young and naive, and she was weak. Lesson learned, price paid, life continues. Good story.

I was hoping that they would get back together. I'm an optimist wanting "happily ever after" SIGH!

This story show how bad things can get with a lack of communication.

I’m sorry I would not be that magnanimous and gift her the house as well as a substantial amount over the child support. Child support is for the children welfare not the parent. She blew up this mans livelihood and all the people that depended on the income the business produces for there welfare just because she got needy and decided to get some lothario. She made her bed and she should lie in it.

He gave up 50% of the company, risked his name with employees/suppliers and took out loans so he didn’t have to give her a portion. If the “handshake” wasn’t honored he would have been SOL. Seems really risky for a savvy guy.

This really was the only hole.

The ending was all wrong. There should have been a reconciliation. Andrea still loved him and he still loved her. In real life I think they would have got back together. Tom let the marriage get away from him he became complacent and ignored Andrea in their marriage. She had the affair when she thought the marriage had failed the blame lies entirely at Tom's feet. To many marriages in real life fail because of similar reasons complacency and being married to the job kills a marriage.

I agree there should have been a reconciliation

Turn out to be a far better story than I first thought⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Literotica Top-50 story. 5++++++++++++/5!!

Both were at fault and sometimes work and life gets in the way of things but communication is key to a successful relationship. But I'm glad he came out on top tho and never looked back about his failed marriage. Well written story...

Love lost a shame.

The author displayed his excellent talents.

I thought it was a good story, and well told. I gave it 5 stars. Thank You for sharing it with us.

Good story and well written, but it just seems inconceivable that she would have started an affair without some sort of conversation.

Yeah, I would have gone Galt, and truly burned everything and everyone! I would have done an interview with the local tv station explaining that because of my wife, her lover (name his restaurant), and the judge; many people were going to not be paid, lose their jobs, just lay out all the misery caused by selfish people!

ZK

I felt like this should have been a reconciliation story. They both would’ve been much happier with each other and the ending was a mistake for them. She had been neglected and was caught up with herself. She traded a multimillionaire loving husband for a lap dog and we know nothing about his new wife because there is nothing to say about her. The ending was a bitter disappointment for me.

Good story but agree with other posters, this could and probably should have been a reconciliation story. They both made mistakes, clearly both loved each other, and she clearly had remorse for her actions even before the divorce ended. Minor complaint though, it just felt like the MC's new wife was more of an afterthought then anything. Still well written story, like that despite everything the exes were not hateful. 5 stars.

Yes, this would have worked as a reconciliation story, but the ending feels real. We all have regrets, places where we look back and think about how we would have handled things differently. While Daniel's regret/reconsideration of his "No" points toward reconciliation, the actual hoops he would have had to jump through to reestablish trust might have been too daunting for him to rebuild a trusting relationship. I REALLY like the fact that you took the time to make Andrea a real character, not the standard BTB cartoon wife. Again, very realistic human relationships.

Pretty darn good, and thanks for not going RAAC. The trust could never have been there, this was a lot more realistic. You're 100% right about idle time making people look for misery & wanting to inflict it on others, that's how the worst of 2nd wave feminism came about... bored well to do white housewives who had all the conveniences and lots of free time so they decided to destroy men.

Good story. Andrea, like most cheaters, takes very little responsibility. It's all his fault. No way on a reconciliation. Sometimes the unknown is better than the known. That is the situation here. An unknown non-cheater is better than a known cheater. Happy that he was able to save most of his company. I don't know why the authors in this genre always seem to want to destroy the cheaters' boyfriend. He didn't cheat on the protagonist. He just takes what is offered.

Let me make a comment, about how in real life the way I dealt with my cheating s*** of a wife and on my first cousin did was so dramatically different. I already had a successful Consulting business for 3 years before I started dating my first wife, and by the time we got married all my interests that weren't covered by a prenup or protected by a couple of different trusts that I had set up. The one thing I do think my wife for is that she did cheat before we ever got around to having kids, so it's pretty much by the book, she only got 15% of the conjoined assets as stipulated by the prenup. She was pretty pissed about that but I had independent Witnesses and video and audio tape of the signing, so she can never accuse me of coercing her into it. Now my first cousin Terry who was the oldest child of one of my aunts he was pretty stupid when he got married, and when he found out that his wife was also a s***-cheating wife he got a little Draconian on her ass. You have to realize our family grew up in a very bad neighborhood in the inner city of one of America's largest cities in the 60s and seventies and early 80s, so my cousin and I both knew a lot of the same people who lived on the wrong side of the tracks if you get my drift. Wasn't too surprised to find out when he found out that his wife was cheating that she just simply disappeared one day. Very true story there, he got the kids, and he had them in counseling for several years and they're both full-fledged adults now with families of Their Own. Oh by the way I didn't mention when I'm making these comments that I'm 64 years Young and I've been married happily to my second wife now going on 33 years. My first cousin never could seem to trust women 100% to pull the trigger so he's had a various Friends with Benefits over the years. Cops could never find the evidence that he had anything to do with his wife's disappearance, and he kept all of this s***, oh well my Cavalier attitude towards her missing might piss off some people on this feminist driven website but too bad b****** shouldn't be cheating

I don't know why Daniel didn't just divorce Beth and remarry Andrea... Andrea was all he talked about toward the end... almost nothing about Beth and her childern... I'm sure he was still in love with Andrea.

I liked it and enjoyed it. I gave it 4.5 stars, rounded up. This was the 2nd time I've read it, and I think I gave it 5 stars then too. The thing about this story is that it seemed very realistic, with real characters, and realistic talking amongst the participants. That's the trick that's so hard to pull off in a story, making conversations seem real with just words. Honestly, I think you nailed it. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Great narrative. Very well written with a decent plot. Thanks!

Great story because he ended on top, because he was smart and lucky (they had bad lawyers).

-She got off too easy, she almost ruined his business and his family life. She never backed off on her lawyer greed in trying to find more money. She never truly made him understand how bored she was; nor how lonely she was. She jumped into the other man dick and forgot about her husband real quick.

-She was lonely, didn't want the man, but still wanted the his money!

-She got off too easy!

I still think she got off a little easy. Any way you look at it, he lost 50% of his business and future profits. I think he let her off light. I think I would have taken her back with a new prenup from hell.