All Comments on 'Spontaneous Combustion!'

Excellent story!!!!

Fine story!

Well written but just wasn't a great last page he just sounded like a looser by the end giving up on relationships like that

I like this story Gumbo25.

It didn't read as very long. All the action in your plot kept it entertaining and distracting.

Gave you 4* s 🙂👍.

His character in high school wasn't very realistic. But it is a piece of fiction. Also it completely fits into the story.

Thanks very much... I'm

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AMerryman

All those pages. Good story development and characters. But, a fairly lifeless, unimaginative, abrupt and cliched ending to a colorful story.

Did you get bored?

I’m a little disappointed, honestly.

~Enkidu

I am so pissed off that I read that. It started off fine even if the entire story and plot was totally and completely obvious. It was very drawn out for an ending that didn't make much sense to be honest. Who destroys a family legacy as a knee jerk act of revenge. Wrecking the gardens would have served the same purpose. The beating was absolutely hilarious and entirely unbelievable. The ending was rushed. Really it was just bleh. -starsong

This is a very well written story but I think the break up with his wife was rushed. She made a huge unplanned mistake that she was truly contrite about. The destruction of her garden was over the top and the act of a vandal. In a divorce her income would have been taken into account in any alimony settlement so why destroy it. I do think she loved him and they might have reconciled if given the chance and the fact his ex best friend was dead. Also what happened to Ameche's wife and the mc's ex girl friend? As I said very well written but it did leave me a bit sad. 4 stars

Don't you just love a happy ending.

Great story! Thanks for the read.

"And of course I didn't have the quiet existence with my wife that I wanted so much at that point in my life. That bothered me at times, but I was getting comfortable in my confirmed bachelorhood."

There are a lot worse fates in life than bachelorhood. Love and marriage are for suckers.

Yeowch once bitten twice shy ! This story rocked , it kept me anxiously turning pages as it built up into an explosive climax ! Job well done

It was a great story, but the ending felt much too abrupt.

What about the aftermath? It would've been entertaining to read about Anna's life falling to pieces. Her husband dumped her, then her lover was killed, leaving her completely alone. Then she ends up with only a few thousand in the divorce, while he walks away with millions. I think her final scene should've been a bitter, angry confrontation with her ex-husband, who finally rips into her and points out that she threw away her future by fucking his best friend, so the slut can't blame anyone but herself.

"the first man continued to kick the lifeless Ameche"

So they actually killed Michael? Nice bit of revenge against Mia, leaving her a widow.

What was missing the most though was a fleshed out ending for Max. He had his heart broken twice, by Mia then Anna, and the story makes it seem like he's given up on long-term relationships. Acting like Leonardo DiCaprio and chain dating hot young women is lots of fun, but he dreamed of having a loving wife and family. This should've ended with him marrying the best of the beautiful babes and getting that happy ending.

Great plot, well written, loved it!

Nice story Gumbo25. You’ve received top marks from me!

Good story with a well developed plot and characters. The ending is rather abrupt and didn’t fit the story. Attention to detail provided the necessary color and feeling for the story. It would have been nice to see that carried on to the end.

With his inability to get past high school I thought he would end up with Mia. Why can't people move past their angst ridden teenage years? Well written but did you have any experiences with people in college or when you started a business?

good story and that is what I am all about. No nitpicking here

still feels like Anna got away better than she should have. Would have been good to hear that word of her betrayal got out and that public knowledge would forever prevent her from being famous. Also would be good if she found herself pregnant and alone to raise the kid. That would put a damper on her future plans.

the only problem i have with the story is the attitude of anna towards the end. it was a total turnaround from the way she was described from the beggining and her romance with max, the ending left her with little emotions and acting like a bitch as if the love was superficial.

Extremely well written story with great character development and a straight forward plot. If I had a complaint is the plot was too straight forward. We all knew that Tanner and Anna would be fucking and screwing him over at some point. I agree with some other commenters that the conclusion was too abrupt. Every time I see "Epilogue" on this site I cringe. Very, very few writers here have been able to pull it off without distracting form an otherwise great tale. Per your prologue, you were concerned about length being distraction, but to the more discerning readers it isn't. It's about content. Still - 5*

That worked! 5*****

She was bad news when she was keeping secrets before the wedding. Then she jumped into bed with Tanner on the first night? There's no fixing that.

What a great read! Thoroughly entertaining!

4 very strong ****. But not a 5 because:

— the denouement with Anna was too brief and “antiseptic”. Didn’t really feel it, especially on her part.

— the encounter with the mob boss type was too contrived. And letting Ameche get his revenge just didn’t compute.

— and frankly, the lack of any closure of any kind with Mia ..... given that his experience with her so completely shaped his outlook on life .... was a bit unsatisfying.

But those were plot quibbles. Your writing was superb. More please!

This story is engaging and well written. I found the character development for the MCs well done. In this Fictional setting Max reacted dramatically to Anna's unfaithfulness. Who stops reading when the main character acts on his pain? I didn't. This story depicts how hurt Max is by a second act of deceit by a woman he believed loved him. The drama of this story held my interest. Very few long stories on this venue keep my interest. This one did.

Not every story requires a happy ending in that the mc marries some wonderful woman to replace the one who betrayed him. This is one of those stories - from a betrayal in highschool and his wife's and friend's betrayal why would Max want to marry again? And who cares about Mia being a widow? She married a thug that she knew to be a thug in highschool - Ameche punched Max at the formal, and he very obviously targeted him at the game - she knew what she was getting into. Not to mention she was a coward and couldn't even tell Max that they were through, obviously a trait she learned from her mother who knew what was going on and didn't tell Max deciding to let someone else do it.

And Anna. She knew what Mia did to Max nearly destroyed him. He had a lot of insecurities they both had to get over. And yet she threw it all away just to feel young again. If all it took was an old flame reminding her of highschool to make her feel young and destroy the man she supposedly loved, then the 18 year old pool boy checking her out would have worked as well. I doubt she actually loved him - attracted to him, sure, even more so when she found out that he had land where she could work her passion and a stable and secure life, but I doubt she ever really loved Max at all.

Tanner was definitely an asshole, but it was established that he was a jerk from the get go. He wouldn't listen to Max at all when he was warned away from Sidney. He was trying to showboat too much, and it bit him in the ass. It would have happened sooner or later, but fucking his supposed best friend's wife moved the timeline up a bit. You can bet with his flamboyancy that he would have rubbed Max's face in the fact that not only did he build a multimillion dollar house and make it big in a deal he offered Max, but that he screwed his wife as well. Did he deserve to die? The hardcore BTB crowd will say yes. The RAAC crowd are to busy jerking it in the corner to Tanner's supposed "alphaness" to answer. I say that he got into a bad deal with a bad man and paid the consequences, and there is no use in speculating.

Also, I'm in the corner jerking it to the sound of my internal monologue.

Well written and well constructed. It's good to finally see the correct use of a Trust to protect assets and keep them separate from matramonial property. Re Anna. That first cheating night, drunk, might have been explained away and forgiven. But it continued night after night. So it was no "accident". Plus, she had been disconnecting with her Husband weeks before and was obviously "chatting" with Tanner in an intimate way. So was that the first time she cheated? We will never know. Thanks for the great read.

The family trust for the property was presumably an afterthought for the writer and was done sloppily. First he writes of Aunt Helen "her house and all 9.7 acres of prime real estate was left to me" with no mention of a family trust. Then he has Max sell the property (not a trust selling it.) Then the writer has Max telling Anna it was in a family trust so she couldn't get it. Then the writer has Max getting rich from the sale of the property, which seems more than a little strange if it isn't his.

Good story. I didn't find it too long as it flowed well. Only complaint is that Anna got off too easy.

He should have killed Weingrass and Ameche. A man like Weingrass won't care about any "alibi". He'll know who was responsible and seek revenge. Besides it would have been more satisfying a conclusion to kill them. As for his ongoing bachelorhood that seems like the women won and he's permanently broken. Not a feel good ending.

3 stars

Great fuck’em all story

When Max and Anna got married, Max’s secretary and her husband are at the wedding. When Max wants them to check on Anna in Hawaii, he gives them a picture of her so they know what she and Tanner look like. Tanner was best man and his attire should have made him stand out. This part just didn’t make sense.

A Brutal Tale

One can analyze the story in detail and try to figure out motivation for behavior on everyone's part, but that's assuming these are real people and not merely the figment of some author's imagination. It's the author I would analyze. Obviously he/she does not have much faith in human nature. Everyone outside of Max's family who becomes intimate with Max eventually betrays him. He puts great trust into Mia, Anna and Tanner and they all screw him royally. The author is telling us to maintain arm's length with everyone outside of close business people and family. A sad indictment of humanity. 4*

very beautiful story.

5⭐.

I really liked the response to his wife's infidelity by destroying the house and the garden.

Simple and efficient.

Machiavellian, and far from the types of revenge that we are used to reading.

good continuation.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Enjoyable read. very well constructed and thought out. I did think that too much weight was put on the Mia relationship. She was a high school girl friend who hooked up with an old boyfriend while he was on vacation with parents. She didn't leave him at the alter. The Anna flip to Tanner was also a stretch, Having a almost perfect life he risk it with a fling with a real loser who dumped her in the past. Not having her character in the story, limited the scope of the story.

Need revenge on sidney

Thanks for sharing...

Well, this is a grate short-story worth reading! & deserves a rare 5* from me ( normally I reserve them for SS06).

I appreciated your time & effort towards character development & creativity in the story-line. I believe the best stories always leave you with "pause for reflection" both good & bad. I think you managed that.

Looking forward to your next posting. Thanks again.

A very good story told excellently. That was a smooth 5 *! Still, it annoys me that he lets Weinstein get away with it like that!

Solid

Wow, very well done. I could feel the rage that Max had after being betrayed by his "best friend" and his "faithful wife". You did a good job with the flow of this story. The only complaint I have is I felt that Anna got off too easily and didn't suffer enough. With her attitude, she definitely didn't love Max like she should have and wasn't in the marriage for the long haul.

Nice mike Marian. Grow up! LOVE

I will never trust any of my best friends ever again. Juding by the stories on here your worst enemy is better than your best friend. Well that was definitely scorched earth policy and definitely burn that bitch. Good story well written. The good Guy wins the bad guys lose, job done thanks.

Great story. It held my interest throughout, and even though it was long, I skipped nothing. 5 *s

An enjoyable story. Revenge seems to just happen

A good story, l enjoyed it immensely.

Please write more dark tales like this one, you have the knack.

Scores 5/5

Good story, fun read. the end dragged it way down though as it follows too many other LW stories with the husband becoming a rich babe magnet.

But it rings pretty fucking true. Unless you are naive, this is how our species acts. You are lucky or you haven't travelled very much outside of your locale if you haven't experienced otherwise.

Hell, some of the most fucked up shit I have been exposed to has been at the hands of close friends and family.

The writing was really good and the story glowed quite well.

I thought the ending was too quick for all the buildup and the last page was over the top.

Non the less a really good story and infinitely better than the vast majority posted on a daily basis in LW.

5*

Interesting story!

5

Winegrass needs to paythe piper too

What wasn't apparent to complainers was that Max ended up in the same position after his marriage to Anna as he was after being dumped on by Mia. This was a story of a guy who was ditched by Mia and spent years protecting his feelings only to be resurrected by Anna. Then after years of him trusting her, she betrays him just like Mia. Sadly, he ends up in the same place - alone and mistrustful with only superficial relationships in his future. Not a happy story.

Well written.

I agree , Weingrass should pay .......

😬😬😬😬😬 ...

Nice story telling, but with faults, weakling the plot. Anna’s cheating was unexpected she should have known better. His revenge was over the top.to destroy your home and her garden. Your burning the x friends house. That both are taken to be killed by Ameche but weingrass lets Max talks his way out. LOL with that ,no way he would let him go at that point. Then his revenge beating of Ameche . So not killing that prick he will come back to kill you. Last 2 pages change a great story into the garbage dump.

I loved it, I look for stories like these because they keep me entertained for a longer period of time than the normal 1 to2 page offering.

So the problems of his adult life were due to seeds planted in high school? Isn't that a cop out? There's this thing most adults do called Growing Up. His response to Anna's betrayal reflected a juvenile delinquent. He could just as easily and more painfully executed the same plans, but done it slowing, methodically, and relentlessly over time, allowing each hope and aspiration of Anna's be squashed, withdrawn, pulled from her grasp. He ripped the bandage off too fast.

His being abducted by two thugs was just pathetic. What makes him think it won't happen again, with worse results? They were going to kill him just because he didn't make sure Tanner's insurance was up to date? So he thinks they're going to let him get away with beating Ameche within an inch of his life?

It was a good plot idea. I wish you had focused on the adults, and had made it more believable.

Thanks for the effort.

Good story. You should have described how Anna dealt with her wreck of her life. Her career and marriage all burned to the ground. I wonder if Max could anonymously do the same to her reputation - maybe Angel knows some IT people and a photo or two and the story goes public. Maybe Anna will grow up after a few years of counseling - then again maybe not and she'll just be a pretty, but bitter woman that screwed her life up. Of well, karma is a bitch.

Why can't more writers create stories like this? Not dwelling on backstory unless it's pertinent to the plot, such as it is here. Also, proper pacing and focusing on what we're here for. Not writing a story that's 20 percent intro, conflict, and climax and then 80 percent "happy ending" for the protagonist.

Is it such a bad thing to help people become financially secure? That is Max's goal, all through his life he is there for his friends, he helps Tanner in school, he doesn't throw himself at Anna practically making her chase him and in a moment of great need and stress for Max (His father's heart attack) he gets betrayed by those closest to him. Because he had always provided for them. If Anna and Tanner had seen anything from his reaction to the betrayal from Mia which signaled where the writer was going with this story it would have been be true to your friends. Do unto others. Mia and Tanner both used Max as a resource, not as a true friend, they didn't respect him, they needed him but weren't there when he needed someone. It should have been no question for Anna to stay home when her father-in-law got sick. But Tanner's project and her future TV show were so important the simple idea of lending support to a son who may lose his father was an alien idea for them. So yeah, it hurts but this is what life taught Max, why should anyone be surprised when he reached his breaking point. Oh and Ameche and Mia are assholes, go to the guy's wedding then beats the shit out of him because Tanner couldn't lick a stamp and pay his bill. Pathetic. Quick fun read. Thanks!

Well written. A few minor faux land's. No real information on why Mia left him. Later in the story, despite his interaction with Ameche, still no information about Mia. Kind of a plot hole there. Needed to be fleshed out with at least a little bit of character development for Mia to explain her actions. Overall, much better than most stories here, and worth the read.

Quite a story, I enjoyed the read. Thank you!

Good, though sad, tale. Our protagonist has no loyal wife in the end, literally burns his bridges. I don’t think he came out a winner. A nice twist would have been to have Weingrass’ younger lady be Anna, fallen on hard times. But I guess she was punished enough, though I don’t think she ever realized how bad her betrayal was. Max was a bit too much of an observer of life and he pretty much let his relationship with her cool down.

What a rollercoaster ride.

A great story, well told. It kept me interested from start to finish.

Well done, Gumbo25. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Five stars with a bullet.

Saint Cecilia's had a Christmas Formal. I guess since it was a religious school they could get away with saying "Christmas". In our politically correct high school any December pageantry had to be labeled "Winter".

this line turned me off dude. there is no war on christmas and saying christmas won't land you in jail. stop whining about culture wars. saying holiday is simply more inclusive cos it includes us non-christians too.

Nicely structured and a smooth read. No suprises;

5*s, from beginning to end.

Tough ending, also, too bad about Anna. She was weak and cheated in a major, unforgivable way.

Just the right amount of detail about Mia, it was moot after she drifted away.

I'm actually glad Tanner paid the ultimate price.

You crafted a mighty fine story. Well thought out, well planned.

Needs a different story name.

Very well done story but it was very linear and predictable. I think a different title, like perhaps, "Second Honeymoon in Kauai" would have served it better.

This story is interesting. I easily read it and consider it well written. My rating of 5 is low. I don't have the opportunity to rate any higher "5 is the highest" . RC

You have a great talent. Thanks.

The protagonist seemed a bitter and spiteful man who created his own hell on earth. Why did he remain "friends" with Tanner, a man of dubious character? Why did he let his wife travel unescorted to Hawaii to hang around her former high school boyfriend? And the impulsive arson and aggravated first degree murder? What kind of man does that? Not one I want to read about.

It was dark over the top btb. But because it was well written, I could feel the hate of a emotionally destroyed man. Anna was just an entitled selfish woman who just couldn't see the error of her ways destroyed the love her ex husband had for her.

Max failed to recognize the significance of Anna's insistence that Mia and Michael receive an invitation to their wedding. Mia was certainly free to choose Michael over Max but she owed Max the respect and consideration of telling him she had made that choice. Her degree of incivility worsened when she failed to apologize to Max once he and Anna began dating seriously. In marrying Max, Anna agreed to forsake all others in deference to her husband. Instead, she insisted on Max deferring to the rights of Mia as her long time friend. That alone made it abundantly clear Max could never depend on Anna to place his needs first or honor her vows.

The flash development of the property inherited from Aunt Helen was an inspired bit of retribution I would never have seen coming. Very well done, Gumbo25. I will look forward to reading more of your work.

Some problems here and there, but well-written and it flowed. I enjoyed it.

Hooked

Needs a codicil on the Mia angle and how her emotions played into the Ameche side of the later portion of this tale. It would fill out the body of the story, it may be tat Anna and Tanner had a little more to do with the earlier betrayal that ultimately led to the Max-Ameche tet-a-tet. Could be interesting....

Good story but me personally I could to start with marry a girl who I know my best friend use to fuck. Also if you could get past that making him best man to stand on the alter with the two of you and exchange vows is a definite Nono . I couldn’t but if your past that inviting him to the wedding I get but not best man on the alter as you marry probably both but definitely are thinking up there how they use to fuck because guys are pigs and do think that way . Some don’t care and think the past is the past . Also she wasn’t as begging for forgiveness as I feel she should’ve. She went on business that was gonna be a second honeymoon, her father Inlaw could die in hospital she cheats and with her husband best friend. The balls to say it didn’t mean anything and it’s only sex . I’d want to kill her personally. Know the arrogance of the friend he probably fucked her ass , talked dirty and down about hubby and had her do the most vile sexual things based on his personality. She fucked him the first night and continued. If it was meaningless it would’ve ended there but she continue the weed hole trip . To me she is a very beautiful disgusting whore who has no love or respect for her husband or herself for that matter. If it’s that easy to cheat for you when your away from your husband than in my mind your worse than a prostitute or porn star . . They make a living that way . The dock friend is just a scum bag who thinks with his dick If you can’t control yourself around your friends wives and your families wives and you just a lowlife. A second story of the aftermath and how the three future looks

Decent story,if a bit predictable.

Gumbo25 has become a must read for me. I may not agree or like everything in their stories, but there is obvious care and thought put into the tale and its telling. Particularly enjoyable is the time allowed to let the story breath a bit. Not every story needs a cliff hanger in each paragraph.

Now that's out of the way...

Noticeable in the last page is a lot of verbs shifting from past to present tense. Please be consistent.

Definitely a bit of a rushed conclusion. This is particularly noticeable after an enjoyable build up.

Many of the plot points were telegraphed, but there was still enough new flavor here to keep me involved.

I don't think Anna was really given enough depth here, so when her betrayal unfolded it lacked some of the impact that other G25 stories have had. The story makes it clear she worked on the garden, but as for the rest of the house (i.e. the marriage) there's not a lot of story space spent on it. Now, i believe G25 wrote it that way for a reason; it makes Max's revenge on her that more focused; his revenge is personal but focused on things, not on the person themself, at least not directly (Ameche being the exception although he was simply a red-shirt piece of meat from the beginning). But the lack of shared growth of Anna and Max as people in the story really subtracts from the impact of her betrayal of Max. A life lived about the pursuit of things is shallow compared to one lived about people. Likewise, the tale told about the pursuit things...

A very sharp commenter noted that, despite the role that Mia played in Max's anxieties and how Anna knew of this, Anna never tried to broker an armistice between them. There was never even an apology from Mia. I think that was also a significant choice by G25 to leave this in that way as to show where Anna's loyalties lay (never entirely with Max).

And finally, a word about other comments. Comments never fail to reveal who actually understood the thrust of the story versus who read it and literally lost the plot.

To me, this is a story about a serious change in Western culture that is becoming very noticeable in social media (Corporate media has yet to really understand this shift as it does not draw clicks and online revenues. Yet.). Call it red-pill, call it MGTOW, call it whatever but many men are exceedingly careful about how society has pivoted to not only equalize women, but outright favor them. This is not the place to debate, but the data for this is present in every single social demographic, from the home to schools to business, the military, the courts ... you name it. And as a result of seeing the deck stacked against them, more and more men, Average Joes, are walking away from the game and saying "no thanks". The long term effects on society will be devastating but that's a topic for another time.

Here, G25 wrote a story about a guy who, on a much smaller scale, walked away from what he felt was an unequal situation, first with Mia and then with Anna. Each time, he then stayed out of the game. Regardless of the reason, the effect was the same. Men walking away from pair bonding with women.

When commenters here say "oh Max didn't fight hard enough, he must not have really loved her", I just have to laugh. G25 made a very clear and deliberate choice to have Mia's betrayal be *the* significant plot point mentioned as a reminder to these readers on every single page and was literally described as *the* reason why Max had problems trusting all woman but also specifically Anna. Max was human kintsugi, slowly pieced back together by Anna, only to have her break him again.

Yet these readers ignore this. Max "gave up on the relationship". That this goes against *the plot* and it's so casually ignored by an alarming number of readers that I wonder why they're even here. There's zero possibility of RAAC in this story, the way it was written. None whatsoever. But yet, they think that square peg should fit in the round hole.

To me, this viewpoint shows such reader's place in this overall societal realignment I spoke of. Western men are expected to surrender everything to women, despite already having equality. And there's no limit to this, there's no endpoint and no statute of limitations; just give until there's nothing left for all male sins in perpetuity. Well, let's see how that works out for ya.

Sorry for the red/black pill. Didn't have my coffee yet. Anyway, good stuff G25.

That got dark at the end, but entertaining tale overall.

A bit of a downer ending. He might be rich, but he's without that which mattered the most to him.

The sudden kidnapping is also way over the top, and revenge by proxy isn't particularly satisfying, especially when it was just as much Sid that was to blame for the beating, and HE got off Scot-free.

Great burn- maybe the best on Literotica!! Very well written,

You just never know. I’m in my 50s and something that happened in high school affected me, as far a female relationships go.

I was a sophomore in high school. I was secure in myself in almost every way but one — girls. I had MANY female friends and acquaintances, but when ever I started “like” liking a girl I’d choke up. Finally one day I got up the gumption to ask a girl I knew sort of from a campus “social club” to a dance. She was sitting with several of her friends whom I mostly knew to one degree or another. When I asked the girl, she quite literally LAUGHED IN MY FACE. I never asked a girl out in high school again..

Then as a sophomore in college (so 4 years) I finally got the gumption and asked a girl in a study group, who was another of my acquaintances so actually felt safe asking, out for coffee or something. And she laughed in my face in a kind of “you're so sad” way. It wasn’t until senior year in college I got a “romantic” girlfriend. And she just drifted from another of my good friends to becoming a girlfriend. So I didn’t have ask her out to try with her.

I did finally ask a another girl out post-college, and succeed. But she was cute and nice but dumb as a door nail. On our date she just talked about a new TV she bought, for at least an hour — our whole dinner. And shortly thereafter another of my female friends drifted into a girlfriend situation and I eventually married her.

To this day I think about some of the many girls I was attracted to back then, but didn’t ask because I was afraid of the rejection. Especially when I’m having fights with my wife. “What if...?”

A deep impact? My wife never wanted children, so I have no kids. Then I hear about my friends with grand kids now. And a few of the girls I wanted to be romantically involved with? Of about ~7-8 that I still have a vague connection with, about half have kids. If I had married one of them instead I very well might have kids and grand kids by now. That’s a HUGH impact on my life. One of the things I regret, not having kids. I think I would have been pretty good.

Anyway. So this character’s feelings about girls sort of rang true with me. And certainly, something that happens in high school can deeply impact what happens later in life.

Well done.

Complex and colorful plot made this an interesting and enjoyable story.

Very well done Gumbo25.

Top ratings from me.

3rd read still a 5*

I like stories that are different and this was a good one

Brilliant story; very unusual but very well told. Five stars.

Best work of the author on this site. Enjoyed it thoroughly. 5⭐️.

Interesting story but weakened by lack of development of motives and by the disturbing misuse (throughout, sorry to say, all of Literotiaca) of simple English grammar. Examples:

things were good between Mia and I ME

I was quite comfortable with Tanner, Anna and I ME all together

moving on in a positive direction for both Anna and I ME

Between my mom and I ME one of us would be at his bedside for the next week or so

paced around the basement, circling us, studying Tanner and I ME.

He looks toward Tanner and I ME.

as the goons move toward Tanner and I ME

I guess if you don't know grammar very well you are not bothered by this but for those of us who do it is very distracting.

Quit reading when exhibition sex for Amazon driver. Not the least bit interested in exhibition or flirts. Bad enough he called Tanner about a old relationship. What a wimp also

It was too predictable. I knew Anne would cheat on Max with Tanner early in the story.

Depressing to read. Even the MC was despicable.

1 star - Ditto same comments as below.

The current star count is 4.66, yet if you were to read the comments you would conclude this story is somewhere between average and shit. While I believe a number of the commenters' complaints have merit, I found this story entertaining enough to read to the end and enjoy the read. Thanks, Gumbo.

Keep 'em comin'.

The story verged on a 5-star rating. Then the protagonist got stupid, allowed himself to get into unnecessary trouble, then waited too long for violent retribution. Also, as a serious admirer of those who know how to use the English language, I'm taken aback by the ubiquitous misuse of "I" instead of "me" after prepositions. It's "between x and ME"! Have schools quit teaching grammar? Or have the LW editors created a new rule to always get it wrong?

All twists and turns were telegraphed well in advance, nothing kept in reserve, oh well.

Loved the revenge on Ameche, Tanner and Anna. Good creativity.

Other than that. Very little development of the marriage to show how or why it went downhill so quickly. A lot of time spent on football, business and landscaping that just added to the length of the story without really contributing to the story.

There was never any question of who Anna was going to cheat with. The real problem with her cheating with Tanner is that early in her relationship with Max she was very pointed in saying she avoided egotistical guys like Tanner because of the experience she had dating him. Yet, put a few drinks in her and Tanner talking about the old days is just irresistible??? For someone that Max noted as being kind and caring when they were in highschool and she's such a smart businesswoman ..

Yet a few drinks and reliving the old days with an old boyfriend she didn't have particularly fond memories of was enough for her to throw her marriage away??? An apparently very deep character just suddenly turns into the shallowest type of cliche???

This was a terrifically constructed story with measured character portrayals and engrossing momentum until the last sentence. Gumbo25, a writer can't do too much better than that. Glad that SOB Ameche got his just desserts

Absolutely excellent, from beginning to end. Great plot and character development, very good dialogue, and nothing exceeded the possible.

Thank you for sharing!

Do the math... Tanner was suppose to buy the Hawaii property for $1M, it would cost at least another $1M to develop, he was going to sell it for $5.5M, that's only $3.5 before taxes, after taxes he would be lucky to clear $2.5M... just how was Tanner going to clear at least $4M after taxes?... a real sign of a scam... Max, who majored in finance, knew his math and ended up the only multimillionare.

A story well written & well told! Good dialog, good character building! A believable "true story", actually. Thanks!

A story with no good guys.

A great story with excellent dialogue. Thanks and keep them coming. 5 stars!

The comments were better than the story. It was completely telegraphed from page 1. He marries Anna and Tanner comes back, steals her and the pussy gets payback. And yeah he is a pussy and a sad sack. What kind of loser moves through high school and college because a girl he dated for a few months dumped him? The men on here apparently because they write it constantly. Oh but don't worry, it's "complex" according to some idiot. Lol

Complex and litetotica do not belong in the same sentence. Dumbfuck

About 5•5 pages longer than necessary as it was all very predictable, best friend fucks wife, gets divorced, best friend and wife both suffered, he becomes multi millionaire, typical load of crap.