Wake up Kathi (Cathy, Kathee)!!!! This is The LOVING WIVES POLICE!!!!! We hate. loathe and despise stories where the husband allows the wife to humiliate him and get away with her loathsome faithless CHEATING. This is just such a story and we HATE IT AND YOU for writing it!!!!
Each chapter is too short probably to give you story credits for the contest but it would be much better if you had three pages for each chapter..Slick
Good story. I like the shorter chapters. It gives me time to read some of the other stories in the evening instead of getting involved in just one long chapter or so.
...you have parts out of order, and your writing leaves much to be deisired. Maybe it would be best to write in an atomic bomb explosion that wipes everyone off the face of the earth. Then you can end the story gracefully.
Bello, la mia regina, Moggie. Ora sopra al capitolo seguente.
I hope the babel fish get de translation right.
"Beautiful, my queen, Moggie. Now on to the next chapter"
you. It would be a shame to have such and ignorant woman have had two children to pass on her defective genes. She is very stupid, self centered, morally and ethically devoid, a pitiful shame of a mother, and adulterous slut, has no ability to think beyond her itch to get a strange cock. Such a useless piece of meat has no real use. Not to her husband, her children, and with her manic tunnel vision of only wanted to be taken by this boy she could be of not real use at a job. You dear author have created two creatures with absolutely no socially redemable character. Let them both expire peacefully or for the benefit of her children mental state as well as her husbands in some not so peaceful car accident and end this farce. If the story does reflect you perhaps if the plot were better I might feel sorry for you.
Ha ha ha...this animal is so old that she canot put the chapters in logical order...I bet she even fucked her dog forgeting that a woman must fuck a man...Ha ha ha...GO KILL YOURSELF you idiot, you make me sick
The chapters aren't out of order; the technique is called flashback which you might have recognized if you'd actually read the chapter. Here's the relevant passage: "She didn't know if the girls were up yet but the house was quiet so she lay there and went over the events of the past few days."
Another interesting chapter and I have a sneaking suspicion that Maggie's life is about to get very complicated.
I am getting tired of this story because of the superficiality of the characters. The author attempts POV's for "Moggie" and Marvin but no continuity. The characters seem to "enter and leave a room" as if outside that room the characters do not exist. Except for Roberto...he'll knock on any room for a piece of tail...LOL
There are those of us who do admire your writing ability and find this story interesting. You would be well advised to just ignore the hateful remarks, consider their source.
I suspect that the real drama lies ahead and will be forthcoming very shortly. I am one reader who looks forward to additional chapters with relish.
She had discovered that Roberto's profession of love was really a profession of lust and she quickly found he had no desire to please her but only to please himself. He used her body just as she used his. In spite of it all she was totally satiated and had only a fleeting wrench of guilt just before she closed her eyes in sleep.
Shaking herself back to reality, Maggie caressed her bare pubes with one hand while running two fingers of her other hand teasingly up and down her closed vagina lips. She softly increased the pressure with each pass of her fingers. She had discovered that she liked some anal stimulation and her fingers crept lower on some of her caresses to include her anus. Finally she couldn't stand her own teasing and after circling her anus with her finger she separated her labia at the very bottom with her finger and her lips peeled apart as the blood engorged flesh made her body ready for intercourse.
Gasping with sensation, she brought herself to the moment of release before inserting two of her fingers as far up into herself as she could get them. Her climax was intense and she continued rubbing the top of her vagina while remembering how it felt with Roberto's cock stretching and thrusting into her.
and yet, even after having realized THAT reality --- that when some guy fucks you, all they think about is how big of a load they're going to dumb in your body --- the woman is already thinking, WAY AHEAD,,,, about the "next real lover, who would love me for who I am, not simply for using my ass and vagina", I'm sure! My god, she's running such future events in her head:
How thrilling it is going to be!, to finally find that real lover! I can imagine his big, black 15 cock,,, replacing my fingers,,,,, in my beautiful ass,,,,,,,, and then she looks at Roberto with disgust,,,, I gotta get home to Marvin before he gets too suspicious,,, I gotta be more smarter and not be this obvious,, ,even the girls are caught on, BEFORE I actually fucked! God, how stupid and careless could I get? LOL
not much to add
some dickhead tell others what to think,where you from russia.i don't like stories where females or males fuck over their family and think its' cool.there consequences and justice for vain and stupid people who think like that.for a writer to keep pushing the plot like that alright sucks to me.remember everybody got opinion,there one for every asshole.i guest if you like whores and slut for mothers and wives that your thing.there always a pay day,where you as a writer let happen or not.fanasy or not it send a message.there no common sense in writing,just get rock off.
I have enjoyed your story so far. I hope that the consequences for her selfishness are soon to arrive. Ignore the hateful comments. Your story is technically quite good, well written, cogent, and enjoyable to read. You have caught the wife's selfish rationalizations very well.
Did I read your story right...that the slut allowed the little wop bastard to shave her cunt...If I were her husband I would kill both of them for that alone.
I agree with, Alvaron53, and Blue88. True that this chapter wasn't what we really happened, but it ISN'T OUR story, it's hers. I do hope though that the author does more along a little quickier..
you don't ever add much!
Who cares about the story? I LOVE THE COMMENTS....much more entertaining.
It boggles me that some like this tale of a male knowingly being humiliated. He knows - His daughter knows - so what dramatic action does he take - how bout a barbeque so he can meet the cock his wife enjoys more than his. when does the cock cage get put on by him liddle self then give the key to the crooked 19 year old.
By the way writer, children under 18 aren't supposed to be involved in the fucking around mommy does so why are you playing that sick card?
You obviously like subing males - humiliating them. Did someone leave you? Hurt you? Why this agression to hurt and disrespect males?
You're style isn't bad but your use of italian is awful.
It sounds like you are making half of it up from spanish and the other half from Babelfish.
No italian would use words and phrases the way you make Roberto use them.
"Il mio bello" for example is totally wrong. The correct phrase would be "la mia bella" and no italian would use that kind of phrase in that context.
Also "il mio virgin" is nonsense, if anything, it would be "la mia virgine" and that would be wrong because she is not a virgin. If you want to say she will be his first and take his virginity, you would have to go through the trouble of actually saying it in italian or simply not say it at all.
As I said your style isn't bad but you need to work on your research.
and with no barriers it left devastation. TK U MLJ LV NV
this is great, she got it good and is going to get it good when Marvin finds out!
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