All Comments on 'Fat, Old Cow'

by Trionyx

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  • 11 Comments
Boyd PercyBoyd Percy15 days ago

It's good that he set her up!

5

UpperNorthLeftUpperNorthLeft15 days ago

Очень хорошо! Отличный рассказ! I enjoyed the story. Very nice karmic payback for being a decent human being to Svetlana and others further down the hospital totem pole. Thanks for a pleasant walk down memory lane — call room sex IS pretty awesome! пять звезд.

jlg07jlg0714 days ago

Beautiful story!

naughtyandy4unaughtyandy4u14 days ago

A healer of the mind and soul as well as the body.

DrizdartDrizdart14 days ago

A sweet tale, told well.

The only clinker ... every nurse I know (like Hannah) wouldn't let a doctor get off with "Oh, I see. My ears must be playing tricks on me. Anyway, I'll call you in two hours with an update." Not without loading it up with sarcasm or signalling in some other way to indicate knowing EXACTLY what was really said. And why.

AnonymousAnonymous14 days ago

"I am cow" and "you are not fat" seemed to be about half of the story????

Snow_dog1960Snow_dog196013 days ago

I thought it was great! Many women who have been treated badly have a great deal of mistrust for men and believe it was their fault due to looks or physical attributes. It was nice to read a story about a man doing something nice and not expecting anything from it and when the right opportunity came along to introduce her to someone who fit her situation better, he helped it along. I liked it very much!!

AnonymousAnonymous13 days ago

Sure didn't see the new man coming; nice touch from the expected arc. Also points for researching the Russian words.

ender2k2kender2k2k12 days ago

Great story. I really liked the ending. Thanks

oldpantythiefoldpantythief10 days ago

I worked at a hospital for many years and back in the old days it wouldn't be too uncommon to hear about a couple of staff getting caught doing the dirty deed. Depending on their status it might be overlooked or not and one or both parties would be gone. The Doc did have a lot to lose but it was a good story with a happy ending, well done.

Comentarista82Comentarista829 days ago

I have to say that you addressed the idea of any man helping a woman realize that she's sexy was a very cute idea, certainly one that I was very on board with. It's always sad when a real woman like Svetlana is not appreciated, and was clearly verbally abused. I've come across some females that were seriously verbally abused before, and you depicted her behavior consistent with those experiences. For that, I say well done.

***

My Russian is rusty as hell, but I recognized nearly all the words that you used; you most definitely nailed the syntax and how she would speak, so that was major. I've read a few stories where some authors will use a character that's clearly of a certain racial group, but not bother to either investigate some basic phrases that they should be able to say easily, or at least explain why the person does not speak the language. Thank you for not shying away from that, and that's a wonderful accomplishment.

***

How much time B e n must spend convincing Svetlana that she's not only fetching but exceptionally appealing matches the psychological profile I already referred to. However, once she gains enough confidence, she pursues him actively. You draw him as appropriately conflicted, because certainly he could lose his job for this dalliance; and therefore he does have to act hesitant and possess some degree of trepidation. You capture this well.

***

I say that while you pace the story well, and I cannot fault how it progresses in general, the problem arises when Petrov enters the hospital because of his appendix. While we can of course assume that she would be more comfortable with someone of her own country and culture, so that Svetlana actively pursued the doctor and that's not something to be written off lightly; on top of that they shared very intimate moments, and there's no way that she did not bond with him. So what presents itself as a difficulty is how quickly both B e n and Svetlana effectively forget each other and seemingly have no attraction any longer; this really needed to be explained and have a certain amount of space dedicated to this idea of them separating to benefit each other more than if they both stay together. I harbor no doubts in my mind that Svetlana and B e n would have made a great couple- - and you posit this in the story by saying b e n imagined his dream woman as a MILF that looked just like her. So can I realistically buy he could pass her off to another man so easily? That's impossible. Also, Hannah nearly caught them once, and for any female that suspects hanky panky, she's going to stay on the trail until she manages to bust both guilty parties. The fact she gave up so easily on that proposition hamstrings the story's credibility: the fact that she doesn't push talking to the other nurses to find out more about Svetlana, or pester b e n for more to try to corner him.. that doesn't fly either. Now obviously it's most convenient for both of them to move on, but that it happens so quickly is just too convenient. It is precisely that absence of conflict or at least some kind of separation that had to occur so that b e n would have enough time to make peace with Svetlana and convince her to spend more time with Petrov that should have happened instead. So the best I can rate this is 4.

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Nov 30, 2023 I am honored that my story Last Few Days of Summer was voted the Readers Choice for First Time stories for 2022. Thank you for your votes and support. August 2022 I was surprised and pleased when my piece How to Fuck Without Saying Fuck was selected as the Reade...