All Comments on 'Untraditional Pt. 02'

I want to say a few things and preempt some comments. To @rosenkavalier and those who followed along, I apologize for the wait. As my part 1 intro mentioned, I submitted the stories two days apart. Literotica has Admins who go through all submitted stories in the daily queue. As almost all other authors can attest, the queue can be light or loaded. I’ve had a story published two days after submitting and another that took 14 days to publish. There are tons of submissions daily and each has to be read to ensure nothing in the story violates any LIT policies. I am both flattered and humbled that so many were anxiously awaiting the next chapter.

That said, while I write FREE stories for your enjoyment, I also publish books (short stories and novels), and being upfront, my goal besides the free entertainment is to grow a base of followers in the hope they might click that Amazon link and purchase a paperback or download a copy to Kindle. That’s working pretty well so far even when the LIT link at the end of a story is broken. Some readers just go to my bio to get my online pen name.

Like many authors here, a lot goes into a free story. Specifically, for this one, about thirty hours to write it, the research, which I’ll address in a moment, and then having beta-readers provide suggestions and analysis, plus the time for editing. My editor, while a volunteer on this site, puts his all into not just grammar and punctuation but into helpful suggestions about adding or removing paragraphs and sections to enhance the reader experience. Here, another 5-6 hours were added.

So, when I write something that’s over 30 pages (about 6-7 LIT pages, depending on spacing in dialogue) many readers skip it. My top-rated story here, “The Busboy” is long and has had roughly the same number of views in exactly one year, as part one of this story. I also posted that story on Amazon and it’s done quite well. It’s a tough call whether to split a story into parts or not but I will refer you to one of the comments on part one that suggests you simply save the first part(s) to your favorites and read them together when all are published.

Now, with 45 stories in the bank, I’m changing a few personal policies here. Let me be clear, I welcome and encourage criticism of a story. Always have. I will no longer accept stupidity that does nothing to enhance the readers' experience in comments. Case in point: an anon posted two comments, preaching how things work in Polynesia, Melanesia, and the entire archipelago. He went on to say I should have researched the area and customs. One thing he said was explained in the postscript of part 2. Had he waited until all three parts were published then he would likely have never written the comment. He was completely wrong in everything he said, and I wrote this piece with exactly 28 Safari tabs open for research on the geography, language, traditions, and current/ ancient customs. In short, I spent more time researching Polynesia than I did writing the story. I deleted his insane rant and going forward, I’ll continue to do it. Don’t try to put your name (or anonymous comment) in lights at the expense of other people's hard work, because that’s all it is, and that’s what he tried to do. He could have privately messaged and I would have taken him to school.

Lastly, if you type something like “Racist and offensive” you’re getting your shit deleted. End of story. Making ignorant statements like that shows me and most of the other readers that you don’t know anything about the subject – racism – that is. I can only assume in this piece, the anon was referring to our fourth-grade MC thinking his friend Jon was a Mexican. First, dude was in the fourth grade. Second, It’s called the Pacific Rim, idiot. From Indonesia and Polynesia up to Alaska and back down to the tip of Central America, all of those people share a common ancient DNA and it’s easy to see it on their facial features.

As far as all the other readers and followers, I sincerely appreciate you and thank you for reading my stories.

Infidelity, regardless of culture, is still wrong.

The context of this story was saddening.

For a story whose chapters were submitted two days apart, it’s amazing that it took almost a week for part two to show up. I think I would have preferred the whole story rather than this elongated piecemeal approach.

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As for the story? It feels a bit bloodless, given the narrative style. Each section feels a tad anti- climatic. Sad and melancholy. Hopefully, part three will have a section devoted to casting a light on M’s self deception and unwillingness to face her own darkness. But since it will be shorter than part two, I will be interested to see if you can pull that off with something as messy as that situation! Thank you for your work.

Well from part one to part two this took a serious dive. WTF?

Fantastic. Five stars.

Feels kinda empty. Story went along without consequence in any way. Just him losing two people he loved, its more of a sad tale and not an interesting one.

What a sad tale without an ending.

I like this follow up and i really feel for Rob no matter what his wife says she behaved despicably and I'm glad he left the island with his head head high.Im hoping for a good ending in chapter 3 for him, i would like to see Mel regretting what she has done and the whole sorry mess blowing up in her face that would at least give Rob some satisfaction and closure.

I kind of liked this. It was pretty well-written and interesting, but not terribly satisfying. I don't buy that He and Aleki couldn't work things out (I can think of a few ways), and people from very different cultures have indeed been able to make it work . . . IF they truly love one another. His first wife may not have been capable of true love, but it seemed like a Aleki was, so they should have found a way. Perhaps in part 3 it will work out somehow.

I'm eager to see how it finally plays out.

I kind of liked this. It was pretty well-written and interesting, but not terribly satisfying. I don't totally buy that he and Aleki couldn't work things out (I can think of a few ways), and people from very different cultures have indeed been able to make it work . . . IF they truly love one another. His first wife may not have been capable of true love, but it seemed like a Aleki was, so they should have found a way. I'm eager to see how part 3 fills things in. Well written, but so far, very sad and frustrating.

If there are any true villains in this tale, they are Mele and Jon. They knew exactly what was going to happen and the probable consequences. If the main character is weak and stays on the island with Mele, his "friend" Jon will still be there likely sharing her. If the MC leaves, Jon wins completely. Mele had been in the states long enough to know western culture was like and covered her bets since she would either end up with one or both of the men. Aleki is the only honest one, as she freely admits the depth of her ties to her culture and made no full commitment to her relationship or staying in the US. The only partial surprise was the main elder protecting the MC and allowing Aleki to leave with him. I am anxious to see how the final resolution unfolds.

Next chapter, please. AAAA+++

I am enjoying it so far, though I think that M and P certainly got off light. While I know that the third part has already been submitted (and may not appear for more than two days) I would find it entertaining if Ms child turned out to be Rob's, throwing Jon into a tizzy and disrupting the island's traditions by forcing them to accept the blood of a non-islander. Part three could then be the confrontation/reconciliation/retribution I think is needed to finish the tale.

Sorry but Mel knew exactly what she was doing. Everyone knew what was happening. In my view the whole island deceived and disrespected Rob. In stories in films, books, plays, there are people we as readers try to root for and hope that character wins or at least doesn't lose thier self respect. Rob should have made it clear he was not going to accept the ritual. And if you wanted to write a really stupid selfish nasty character, one most readers will truly hate then well done, Mel is thst character. Well written story but very sad.

Great story, wonderfully written. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

When Alex asked if he wanted to send a message to Mel. He should have. Tell PUKE I hate him and Mel the same. I wasted 9years with a cheating bitch. Glad it happened before we had kids. I hope your so called god shits all over both of you for your deception. I hope a hurricane wipes you all out. Only one can hope

Not sure what’s. Next Mel and PUKE find out their first child is not his but Robs. That would be a great turn of events. Can’t wait to see what cookingwithgas will come up with. Maybe that hurricane is in the future

Clash of the Cultures with a sexual twist. I enjoy your writing even though I often criticize certain points. Let's start from my point of view with Mel dumping her birth control pills. She knew at the time that she was about to spend a month with the protagonist Puko fucking his brains out due to their cultural ritual. Six days on the mountain and twenty plus more once she returned to their village and slept with her husband but spent time completing the sexual ritual with Puko. I would think after nine plus years in a Western Culture one would think she would understand that by being off her birth control pills the chances of her being fertile during the "fucking period" were about 100%. Therefore, even if Mel's wish for them to reconcile came to fruition most likely she would be pregnant with Puko's baby. At that point she would have the nerve to ask her husband to raise another man's child? I am not so sure that would even fly in Mel's native culture. Point two is the underlying theme of Mel wanting to be "honest" with her husband about the solstice ritual. So, she brings him along and then fucks his brains out during the days leading up to the solstice festival to demonstrate her love and loyalty to their marriage. Then, without telling her husband what will happen and how long this facade will continue she drugs him and leaves to fulfill her duty to the village. That's Love? Your writing in between these two gaffes, in my opinion, is excellent. One last point is I am not so sure you upload these stories to Literotica as stated so they can be published every two days. I think you like to read all the comments about the chapter just released and factor it into your final draft of a story. That's okay but I still think you should upload a story in one piece, rather than these cliff hanging chapters. Whichever way you decide to release your stories, I will read them as they are usually interesting and good.

Fantastic story - well done !

wow... so where do you go from here? Hopefully the story will have him free of Mel and Alex, and Puko. But I know they will be part of this.

I'm with the others, no matter the cultural difference, Mel DID KNOW WHAT SHE WAS DOING AND THE HARM SHE WAS CAUSING. And honestly, why did Mel marry him. She should have gone for Puko in the first place.

Ok, another conflict ridden story that is well told. THank you for this.

Awesome story. Not typical LW fare at all. Well written with good character development. Would love to see a sequel where the ex wife regrets what she did and learns to hate Puko because she realizes that her love for her first husband was really her destiny. Keep writing!

Well done. The lesson is that there are narcissists in all cultures. Also, Alex should have told him right away that she would never stay with him. Instead she simply drew him in and broke his heart again. Kinda cruel. D

Well written. Keep it coming.

A perfect ending would be if something terrible happened to his ex- wife and she is gone.

He goes back to the island to express his condolences and be with Alex and finds out Mele's child is HIS!

He takes his child and Alex back to the mainland and never returns.

Good tale, this as a few other stories have actual makes me feel very negative as i read along. Inspires empathy for the wronged party and desire to shoot pukehead in the dick

One of the better stories that I’ve read lately.

Just a wild thought here: you could have made it completely fictional instead of defaming a whole civilization. The story by itself was pretty good.

Hooked

Interesting story and well written but missing a serious point that was glossed over. Mel and Jon formative growth years were on CONUS and were well immersed into Western Culture/Christianity/Laws. Mel embraced Western values/culture when she married Rob in a Western method. Mel bringing Rob to the island to betray and flaunt her ADULTERY was pure evil. Jon was not a real friend to Rob; Puko betrayed Rob.

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What was most sick was Alex/Aleki became another Rob user or a timed consolation prize, Aleki used rob for her art and enrichment purposes. Aleki use of Rob was just as disrespectful as Mel's betrayal.

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The crime was that Mel and Jon did not educate Rob as to island culture, methods and expectations AND that the two were pledged contrary to her marriage. Furthermore, they drugged Rob to pull of the ruse.

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As I've witnessed on the islands - Heole's are tolerated never respected. What this story points out is that Polynesian culture cannot be trusted to follow Western values - NO HONOR amongst cultural thieves [Mele/Aieki/Puko].

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3.8*** Hooyah, salutes to the writing but not the cultural defamation

> an island in Nova Scotia

Does this island perchance have traditions of its own?

Great story, please keep writing!

I'll defend you a bit on the cultural bias as you had to pick "something" to get the point across. Not sure if the island and people are real? If they are, it would have been best to make something up. That said, I did not see the heart of the story slamming a particular group, at all. Much like the core plot lines you emphasized, Jon and Mel KNEW the western culture and played out the tragedy. I didn't like the finish as it left our NC "adrift". 4.3*

This bit at the end ruined the story ...."that was when I realized we'd both been quite naïve but that there was real subterfuge underneath all of it..."

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What makes this sentence so bad is the fact that being naive by the husband is NOT the same sort of naivete that you see from the wife. She was cruel and mean and self-centered and really gave the marriage no effort of any kind. That is NOT the case with the husband . So for the husband to say they were both simply naïve is really trying to equate the husband and the wife is equally at fault for the marriage and that's not even close to being true.

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so this attempt in at the end of the story or the author tries to make it a 50/50 split in terms of blame and responsibility for the destruction of marriage is really quite nauseating

His journey was painful. Neither Alex, nor Martina, were any help to the sense of impotence and the drearily parched loss of the MC. Ouch.

Upon reading the story a second time I would give the story a even lower rating than the first time. The husband's complaint after he woke up from being drugged which of course could have killed him.... is 100 %correct . The wife engaged in a mass of deceit and a conspiracy. Even worse the wife knowing this man who was her husband since elementary school would know that he would never accept this . And she did it anyway.

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So again, the ending of the story where the husband says that they were both equally naive and equal to blame for their marriage collapsing is just a load of crap . Not only is that incredibly stupid thing for the author to write in the story, but it doesn't make any sense.Given how the husband had completely dissected Is help twisted and the Nefarious, the wife's scheme was.

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But then suddenly at the very end of the story the husband thinks that they were both at fault?. That's simply does not make any sense.

I was hoping for some sort of retribution on all of them

I just could not buy that much deceit from that many people who claimed to love him. If that's where the world is, we're all living a shit life...

A very well-crafted and beautifully expressed story. Thank you!

All the best,

Dave

They are all pathetic people and the wife is a whore. Husband should of burned the island down.

I admire Rob for his courage. After the drugging, I'd never have eaten or drank anything that those people handed me.

Inteeresting start in part one that went nowhere in part 2. I felt the letter from Mel was pretty much 'sorry you left me, but I really enjoy screwing Puko, so I am staying here to have his babies'.

I hope part three is not a simple story of Rob finding a new woman and falling in love. The story needs resolution for Rob.

what a lot of tosh get a life just another cuck story

I did not like Chapter 1 at all - entitled my review that didn’t go for some reason “WTF?” MC dumping the psycho wife and exiting the island redeemed the series considerably. The problem wasn’t the island culture - it was the lies, drugging, and deceit. Will be interesting to see where CwG goes with this one.

I'll engage once on this before moving the conversation with my author colleagues to private messaging. especially for Hooked1957, whose work I respect, but also for KRD19254 and even Demothenes384bc. There is no bias or defamation. The traditions are real, not fictitious. You failed the most important test of defamation by not asking a Pacific Islander to read it and ask how they felt afterward. Would a Hawaiian feel disparaged or maligned by their own tradition and custom just because two fictitious people conspired to use it to hurt someone? Further, when those two people (Mele and Puko) added selfish 'extras' to the actual tradition for their own gain, could anyone possibly see it as defamation? KRD even points that out in his comment, then falls into the American Progressive trap anyway.

As smart as I think Hooked is, here we are at the precipice of my previous long-winded comment. Bias and prejudice in a storybook, theoretical, so-called highly educated 'speak' that has a word like "inherent" or systemic" preceding it, is merely a plan to influence and nothing more. It's more fiction than this story. I get it. The person telling you that is some sort of professor or the like, so it all sounds good, and that person has a piece of paper hanging in an expensive frame on the wall. But for God's sake, use your mind for a minute. Pretend it wasn't a professor with a paid agenda and just some ordinary person on the street. Would you seriously believe it then?

There was no defamation here because the author researched the real-life traditions and customs, and then applied them to two very cruel and selfish fictitious characters. For Hooked, the classic quote by Master Yoda comes to mind: "You must unlearn what you have learned."

Interesting story however to me this is really showing some very self centered couple of people. Yes traditions and cultures are not trivial but two of the main characters knew at the start ( which I see as starting at the dad’s death 4 years earlier) that this was going to end up very badly. I don’t buy for an instant her stopping BC before the trip knowing she will be spending weeks with another man as anything less than a deliberate attack on her husband. His friends cavalier attitude towards his is hardly better. Lastly Aleki’s actions are really damaging as well almost if she was n on it to begin with. I look forward to part 3 of this well written tale.

I don't think this was demonizing an entire culture. There are a lot of less than great things in western culture and history, out religious traditions had a lot of shadyness to them.

The problem was that mele and puko were deceitful and the mother wasn't much better. Mele went off her birth control knowing that she could get knocked up, yet thought that was okay. That isn't a cultural thing, that is two self obsessed people who do all the wrong things, they are almost deliberately cruel.

I don't think Aleki is cruel, she didn't use Rob. She went to find herself and she was honest with herself and with Rob that she wasn't of this culture.

I figured the story was over , going to be interesting to see what happens.

The amount of selfishness amongst the people of this story is astounding. I am not sure what culture this is supposed to be based on, but it is one of the most convoluted self serving insane I have heard of. I usually am a fan on your stories. This untraditional one of yours I am sorry, this one is my least favorite.

Hey, you can't please everyone, I get it. We all write ones that even our biggest fans hate.

I am sorry, I read both parts, and there is nothing I like about this two part story at all. Your writing was okay, so 3 stars.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

I hated this story. The author treats the issue as a difference in cultures. It isn't. If it was just a cultural thing then she'd have explained the culture to her fiance rather than being deliberately dishonest and making vows knowing she was lying. She made western vows she never intended to keep and regardless of her culture that makes her a lying cheater.

It was a well crafted storie, the drama and angst that Rob has to endure was a painfull remainder that for most of his life, he has been abandoned or betrayed by those that supposedly should love and support him.

The fact that you avoid most of the cliches in the end, is also a good thing. I dispute that Aleki was also taking advantage of Rob, while she was interested in him, she was clear about that his place on her heart will never be the first place, in the end i believe that she choose to return to the island mainly by fear that Rob always wonder about Mel and being the second in his heart.

"That was when I realized we'd both been quite naïve but that there was real subterfuge underneath all of it." This however its a well used cliche in cuckold stories, try to put the blame in both parts.

Sorry, its not, not in this case. Rob was the only victim, a innocent one. Mel and Puko knew his "cultural baggage and beliefs" and still carry on the ritual and betray him. There is really no defense or excuse of their actions, while the whole "its an important milestone" for us and our culture, the fact the go to great lenghts to obscure the true nature of their actions and the fact they doesnt have any regrets say everything about them.

But try to make Rob at fault for being deceived, drugged, cuckolded, humilliated and not take those grievances with the dignity of the "silence" and the respect of the village, its out of place in a otherwise well construct final act.

Maybe Rob do deserve a more happy end, rather that the end between lines that he got, but after the two factors already mentionated its a minor nitpick of mine.

A solid 4.

When thinking of Mel’s behavior throughout the story thus far… The word - treachery - keeps coming to mind. She plotted. She deceived. She cheated. She flaunted her cheating. She disrespected her husband. She narcissistically expected her husband to OK with all of it. In the end, she can dress it all up and parade it around town in the name of “culture”. But Mel is one of the most despicable characters I’ve ever read about on this site. Part 3 is going to be interesting. 3/5 BRB

You writing the same story over and over

I have so many mixed emotions about this story.

First, I sympathize with Alex/Aleki wanting to go home but on the other hand, it's clear her mother will never accept her artistic nature and that part of her will die.

Secondly, wow, Mel is just an awful person. She lied and deceived and her letter? What was the point of it. She pretty much says she doesn't regret any of it.

Thirdly, I think the worst person in this story is Jon. It's pretty clear this was his goal all along. I'm not normally into BTB or whatever but I do hope that Jon gets a comeuppance. He's a terrible person and I'm pretty sure if he gets control of the island things will go poorly.

And finally, my personal hope is that things work out with Alex after all. But if they don't, at least she seems to be a decent person unlike her sister.

You're no George Anderson. There is no there.

These customs should have been explained before their wedding and coming to the island. Otherwise he was just renting her for a brief spell.

Sad no positive REVENGE! It would have a better story if a disease had taken the entire village rendering the all sterile.

Given the timing Aleki, I think her leaving him in Boston on the first of autum was part of the planned betrayal. Throw him a bone least he hurt several of us in his anger before we can get rid of him.

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Note the for shadowing after he read Mele's letter: "That was when I realized we'd both been quite naïve but that there was real subterfuge underneath all of it."

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Plus (not that Google does great with foreign languages) the translation of the phrase he was taught to assert he rights.

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Those islanders are very smart, with plans within plans and illusions behind illusions.

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Consider what might happen if he were to introduce something like measles or an STD to the island...

A whole lot of disparate story fragments that don’t fit together. It simply doesn’t make sense. Furthermore the two paragraph hookup with Martina is the worst deux ex machina afterthought I have encountered here. Obviously the author just got tired of the whole chaotic mess and just did a Three Stooges exit stage left. The result is a VERY unsatisfying effort.

2 stars

Sorry but l did not like your plot and consequently the story itself. Left a bad taste in my mouth to tell the truth.

In your story the cheaters got away with everything with no consequences at all.

If there is another chapter l hope you can save the day and let us see justice done

So far you have 3/5, let us see if a future chapter 3 can elevate you higher in my scoring.

The biggest load of rubbish I have ever read on this site and you couldn't even be bothered to finish it. If your intent is to get us to buy your books on Amazon, this 'story' doesn't entice me to go support you there.

This story is based (unwittingly, of course) on Margaret Mead's fraudulent book on Samoa. Gosh...we've only known for about 60 years that it was bullshit and that Ferdinand Boas promoted it in order to advance cultural relativism in the West. As it turns out, Samoans were, at that time and previously, quite sexually "Puritanical".

No remotely intelligent, thoughtful, normal human being can accept complete cultural relativism any more than he could accept the complete moral relativism that underlies it.

The wife, Jon, and her mother were thoroughly dishonest. As for the islanders, they are trapped in a primitive, useless culture that most here will romanticize. The husband was written as implausibly passive up to the big reveal after the first night. That is the deep weakness of the story. When an implausible plot device is used to extend a story in the way this one was, a critical reader loses interest. It's a form of authorial disrespect.

Meh. The one character I despise above all others is the "Samson." The smart, competent, accomplished man who gets hit by the Martian dumbass ray and can't seem to think his way out of a paper bag. Lost some respect for CWG for lowering himself by using that device.

☆☆☆

Well done CWG! I love all of your work & I believe some readers do not appreciate the time & effort you authors take to create a story. I know i post annon, but i was raised old school, if you having nice to say that isn’t positive or constructive the don’t. Plus i will never figure out how folks dont understand what the word ‘fiction’ means. I am not a fan of some genre’s in the LW category so I don’t read them. I would never trash an author. I just wanted to state i appreciate your effort & the stories you have posted. Thank you! Sincerely a 5* story for me. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 👍

KK

Stll cooking with gas on this part. I sense a confrontation in the US in part 3. Or perhaps she's actually pregnant with Robs child, that'd be some great conflict fodder. At any rate, great tale. Looking forward to the conclusion.

Jon/Puko knew exactly what he was doing-stealing his friend's wife. I hope karma is unkind to him.

Mele is right; she is shallow and selfish so I can't help but think she knew exactly what she was doing too.

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I suspect the Aleki/Rob story is not over.

I'm from New Zealand and have visited many of the islands of the Pacific, including Vanuatu. So I understand some of the fertility rituals spoken of. All I can say is that Rob was a complete moron. He constantly played the victim and never did anything in a proactive way. Ok, he was stupid and niave regarding the ceremony and never suspected he would be drugged. But everything after that was so stupid and ridiculous. eg Why didn't he immediately file for abandonment when he returned to Boston? The divorce is from the date of filing, then wait 12 months. So waiting 12 months, then filing, means another 12 months! If he had any idea of getting together with Alex, he knew he couldn't marry her while still married and he would technically be committing adultery having a sexual relationship before he got divorced. So he should at least have sort legal advice. Plus, knowing he was going to bed Aleki (Alex) he should have insisted the 19 year old go on birth control, or he use condoms. How stupid was he?

Also, those books left for him to read, why didn't he throw them into a big fire and burn them? He just played along. Plus, there is nothing wrong with being a scrawny runt but attempting to attack those big Polynesian boys was just dumb. At no time did Rob use his brains.

What if Aleiki is pregnant with his baby. Perhaps more betrayal!!

I didn't think this could be more awful than the first part. Boy, was I wrong! Why waste energy writing about such shallow evil people. I certainly wouldn't waste my time reading the last part.

Why would you write a story about such a weak willed pussy?

I am really interested where you are taking the story for the third part @cookingwithgas. Rob at the end of part 2 pretty much lost both Mel and Aleki and seems to be at an utter low point. I think Rob needs to resolve his feelings for Aleki, one way or another.

I like that none of the characters are perfect and have flaws. Jon and Mel aren't 'villains' per say but their selfish choice hurt other people. Mel seems to have realized she did damage to Rob, even if she is not sorry. I don't think Mel and Jon will find that true 'happily ever after', even with a child, the excuse of culture, because their 'union' was born of an act of deception and cruelty, not love. There will always be that shadow on their relationship.

Rob is very flawed, which makes him interesting. Rob is very, very insecure, likely due to his unstable childhood, he at times comes across clingy and whiny. Rob's mistake after Aleki left is bouncing to the next woman, instead of doing some self-reflection.

I am curious where you left part 2, Rob disconnected from Aleki and the culture, where this goes in part 3.

Good job. The story is thought provoking.

Why didn't he just leave and tell her fucked up mother to expect a very public and humiliating divorce for cheating. That would throw a wrench in the force. He was just a whiney pussy.

It was a terrible story. I actually was ready to give it two stars, but the artsy-fartsy remark made me reconsider to give you three.

After the sister leaving him as well, he should come up with a revenge plan that burns the family and his ex friend to the ground, including a threat if they ever returned to the US, he would be waiting. That was fucking evil what the island trash did to him. Fuck them and their rituals.

Not really getting much feeling from this. Part of it is the same problem we had with part 1, you gave away the ending and then that took a lot of blood and guts out of the story up till that point. I feel like you need some sort of tension in the story and it was more like just watching a car crash and wondering how bad it will be. Interesting I guess, but not terribly engaging for me personally.

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Even though Rob is the main character, I don't know how to take him. He seems very cold and uncaring. Hell, everyone in this story seems very cold and uncaring. The only real emotion I feel is some anger at Mele for her intentional betrayal of Rob (it's hard to see this any other way given the events in the story, even if she appears to be deluding herself or maybe not in her letter).

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Oh well, at least we can all take solace in the fact that Mele's eventual fate will involve domestic abuse, substance abuse, poor healthcare and half a dozen kids. Good for her.

Well written. Great story. I probably would’ve murdered the mother in the most horrific fashion possible. Of course also murdered the bitch and the friend. But that is just me.

Yeah, giving the bully his money? Yeah, Mel went for the man instead of the wimp. Who can blame her? This pussy deserves to be a sheep among the heard in Boston; he'll fit right in. The wolves will enjoy consuming the product of his efforts. You do know that his future wife/wives will also fuck him over. He's begging for it. All because he lives with his heart instead of his mind. A SNAG (sensitive new age guy). We can only hope that he doesn't pollute the gene pool with any offspring. Mel's kids are what the world needs more of. Darwin is laughing at these self made eunuchs.

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Here's a hint: the two men guarding the path. Huge strong men, who could easily defeat him with their bare hands. But unlike him they weren't stupid, or emotional. They weren't guarding the path to prove a point or make a statement. They were guarding the path to keep anyone from interfering with the fuck fest his wife was engaged in, and they meant to be effective and successful. So They Had WEAPONS. That was the stupid cuck's main failure. The most important sex organ is the brain. The most effective weapon is the brain. The dumb shit thought he was being glorious punching his wife's sex god? What a fucking laugh. He should have put a knife through his heart. Apparently the village was willing to injure or kill him to protect their customs, and could give a fuck about their whore's marriage vows. So he should have created a new legend for the village. The legend of the scorpion that stung the lion through the heart.

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But I waste my time. Sheep haven't a clue what I'm even talking about. They just go where they are herded, get sheared when its their turn, and eventually become food for a smarter predator. Can anyone blame Mel for the man, the life, and the place she finally chose?

This whole story is filled with lack of communication, hypocrisy and complete deception.

Mel was not forthright from the very beginning and her relationship to Rob was simply a lark until she returned to what she knew all along. Disgusting is mindset by the polynesian people and their lack of principles of respect.

Like your writing but this left me unsatisfied. You did an good job writing because I was angry at Jon

and Mel at so many levels. I would like some revenge. How about an curse from the Gods.

Could have been great, instead it was just barely good enough. The only person who paid a price was the victim.

/

Since they are a superstitious people, believing in magic, he should have cursed them. Take a knife, go to the village square, cut his palm, let the blood drip to the ground, and say: “I curse this land against the people who have wronged me! I call upon the spirits and the gods to grant me justice! From now until my enemies die by my hand, all is barren! The nets will be empty! The crops will not grow! No woman will bear another child! Give me the lives of my enemies, and I will lift this curse. Harm me in any way, and the curse will be eternal!”

/

ZK

As usual, well written and very entertaining- my question is about Aleki. Why would she want to go back to her native country? Her mom and her don't really get along, her dad has died, her sister has turned out to be a lying and cheating enemy of her new friend, and her outlet for her creativity, her paintings, are stuck in a dusty shed. What's to go back to?

Part 2 was disappointing. Mel and Jon knew what they were doing, it was planned out during the wife’s extended stay. Where they rekindled childhood relationships. Rob was blindsided by Mel and Alex, they both used him for what they wanted. Alex it was the art, if she truly loved him she would have stayed. For Rob part 3 will be a life time of regrets without retribution and revenge. He will always have a hole in his heart and never be 100% happy with life. He was collateral damage.

So after the first chapter, I was thinking situation normal. A lying deceitful woman who weaponizes sex, and grudgingly reveals half truths, for a wife. After the second chapter. I'm still thinking situation normal. The wife's sister isn't much better. She also weaponizes sex, delays telling the truth, and uses your MC for her own goals during that delay. Maybe third time lucky for your MC.

5 stars

I know it doesn't happen in real life but I hope Mel gets her comeuppance--she has the balls to even say she's not sorry. What an evil woman. I also hope Puko gets his. Both of them are so utterly loathsome and seemed to face no consequences and get to live happily ever after.

In real life the villains like Mel and Puko win, but I hope their lives are destroyed the same way they destroyed the MCs'.

Not since Feb Sucks has there been such a loathsome female as Mel

Wow what UTTER POO! and you even mentioned other Authors at the begining and linking them to this rubbish, shame on you

just like a perfect storm leading to a divorce, Tough story to stomach but then life is life.Incredible character aleki amazing effort 5/5

This is well written, if tough. Mel and Jon/Puko definitely engaged in Deepak dn brutal deception from start to finish, and I consider the "start" for Mel to be when she agreed to marry Rob. She knew from before then what would happen. And her letter at the end of this chapter was harsh. Hard for Rob to get anything out of it beyond "Good riddance! And thank God we didn't have kids.' The fact that she put off them having kids until the solstice ritual indicates the longer term plan, though perhaps she thought that there was an equal chance for Rob & Puko both.

I'm curious to see how Chapter 3 unfolds and what parts Mele and Puko, and to a lesser extent Aleki, play in it, if any.

And thanks for your spot-on note, Cooking with Gas.

The writing was good. However the story and situation was over the top. So far 5 stars. Yet this OTT story had a fizzled ending. That knocked off 3 stars. If you write an OTT story it should have an equal ending. That is why ST's stories get such good numbers. This reminds me more of MM stories that used to be here.

1 star - not my kind of story - definitely not LW. probably be better in non-erotic.

Yes, she said all the right things in her letter.

But, so what? She still did him grievously wrong. He has no desire to ever speak with, nor think about her again. Except maybe as a cautionary tale.

The only sting his ex wife will have is how little value she has through her own actions. While she may remember him fondly, some part of her will know that he feels the opposite. That she was a giant waste of time. While her past lover lives and breathes, he will never see her as anything other than the nasty ways she described herself. And she can be certain it's deserved. That's her only punishment. Her happy life will have that undercurrent. And while he was far more battered from the exchange, he will never have to hate his own reflection. He fought for his marriage. He kept his vows. He didn't deceive. His future will be based on love and not cowardice. It also helps he got to bang her sister. That always seems to sting insecure people like his ex.

The women in that family are really pieces of work. The wife went off birth control knowing what was going to happen. She wanted to get pregnant by Jon and to hell with her husband. She should have just divorced him and left. I hope Karma comes to visit that family.

Imho what you have contrived is a way to make a man cuckolded without any way to fight back. You took away the mcs manhood and turned him into a pathetic person with no pride. Why?

Very well written story-made me feel kind of down, depressed me and felt very sympathetic to Rob's

heart being crushed beyond imagination twice-ouch.

After pt 1 and 2 feeling very empty and unfulfilled, so wishing and hoping that cwg changes all these

no fucking good feels after part 3-don't let me/us down-as Pebbles Flintstone once sang-Open up your

heart and let the sunshine in.

Nothing that happened was what it seemed to be. A well told story and it solicited many different emotions which is what a good story should do. Thanks for sharing.

As many others have written this was very well written. The pregnancy was no surprise. The departure of Aleki was a little surprising but after consideration I understand her desire to return to her home. As to the difference in cultures much of that can apply to life here in the US, comparing various parts of the country. People from the deep south maybe not faring too well with people from more liberal areas such as California and vice versa. Looking forward to part 3.

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Thank you for the stories you have shared with us. Oh, and 5 little gold pointy things.

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OG46

Very interesting storyline and wonderful writing. I could see a loss of social status for Mele and Puko and their families developing over time as a consequence of this whole affair. Lies, deception by ommission, and betrayal are not honorable in any culture, and the ritual was certainly defiled by their acts to a certain degree. So, especially in a small community, I would expect at least some critical discussion in the aftermath. Aleki might contribute to that, too.

I hope it is just a wild thought. I am completely enthralled with this series. Whether it was naivety or hopeful optimism, Truth and Honesty can be found in every culture. Every culture has believers and enablers. This was a wonderfully written set of tales. Five stars (only because more are not available). Each view point was well written and at least for me explained. Being different does make it wrong. Deception and denial hurt universally. Keep on writing. (Please!!!)

This excellent work by C.W. Gas showed up after enduring a week's worth of some of the worst writing I've ever seen on this site. It is pure luxury to read a well-crafted, interesting, and enjoyable story into which I can immerse myself without suspending disbelief in every other paragraph. A real professional from whose work we can all learn. Five stars!

For god sakes, we get it all ready. It’s a tradition! Give it a rest. And move the story along. You’re water boarding your readers with the constant repetitive crap.

Wow! Gut-wrenching betrayals. The last thing he would want is another Vanuatu woman. The whole story had me by the heart.

Poor guy keeps getting his heart and ass handed to him, what. Shame

2* for being ridiculous

not going to get into detail about island communities it gets icky for me anyway. the MC was a bit off for me being an orphan and his environment while growing up. the way he acted during the time of the meat of the story was off for someone that grew up the way he did. but there is always exceptions to the rule. i learned how to cope with my emotions very well and very early on growing up on the streets. i would think it wouldnt have taken him very long to move on. i would recommend that u dont get involved with an islanders

Very interesting & ultimately saddening. The wife & "friend" who knows both cultures still did their ritual irregardless of the husband's feelings. No prior discussion between wife & husband, espec. prior to marriage, so he'd know what he's walking into, so to speak. She says drugging him was hard? Hearing suddenly what they're doing was life shattering. The wife's an unmitigated bitch. And she says she loves him?

The mother at least knew of the troubles awaiting him & seems like she at least tried to caution her daughter. Not sure what to make of her.

The sister that went to Boston with him, only to return, was put in a difficult position... falling in love with him but being homesick. Ultimately, if only for a relatively short time (as the pain dulled the love he had for his wife), he found love. But 1st was the turmoil.

I'm inbetween ratings, but due to the care of the writing & telling the story, I'm giving this my infrequent 5 stars. Bob

For you this was absolute shit! No points and I regret having taken the time to read it. It’s not even really finished. Very poor.

Excellent story! 5 BIG ASS STARS! Thanks.