All Comments on 'Special'

Thanks slirpuff. You can certainly write a story that keeps people reading. This story is a little sad but on the whole prety good. And your 'Darkside'? Well your character only did what he had to do. Keep the stories coming.

Betrayal, revenge, redemption. Salvation.Thanks for the tale.

Not really too dark (for my tastes); well written and intriguing. Keep 'em coming!

Let me see, she cheated on him and he sentences her to...death? Wow, didn't realize the Muslims were taking over. Next, every time he doesn't get his way, he pouts, throws a temper tantrum and swears like a drunken sailor...Gosh, now he's a fucking baby. If anyone is the loser in this little drama, it would be Annie. She has a douchebag, fucktard for a father, a conniving, controlling grand-father and a completely clueless grand-mother. If I were her, I would disown the entire family.

I was in a situation that was somewhat similar to this. Father in law that bought wife everything and wife took it. Ended up divorcing her. She wanted kids but I made sure that never happened. When he died (after the divorce) I almost went and pissed on his grave. I can understand this anger. To me not as much on the dark side and Slirpuff thinks. In Missouri

At least Bob did not come up with a judge willing to order him to make the donation of a piece of his liver! I admit that I ended seeing Linda, Annie, and Steve as Bob's victims. I know that Linda, having cheated, deserves no mercy, but I just can not accept that particular cant. An excellent piece, Slirpuff!

This is as fare am I am concerned TRUTH ,I would have reacted tde same way. I had rich Father in Law,But was smart enough to leave us alone.So we have a happy life after 59 years of marrige.

Bob deserved every payback that he got. It's too bad that his daughter had to pay the price for him but she was complicit in what he did. Even after her death Bob continued his control activities by alienating Annie against him. The story was well told. The only complaint I have was that the ending was too rushed (a common problem) and Bob paid almost no price. Annie should have moved out of the house and broken off contact with Bob. I would have also been great to explore Ann's realization of her husband's nasty activities and the fact that Linda was dead because of what Bob did to Steve. Ann apparently thought her husband was a good man. Part of the payback should have been that Bob lost Ann's respect. A meeting between Ann and Steve with Ann apologizing to Steve and telling how she had confronted Bob would have been nice. A lot more could have been done with the ending.

This is a little different than usual super idiot huband or super wimp story that we see from this author. I understand Steve emotional and visceral reaction to his wife's family but there is a large aspect to Steve's character which is deeply repulsive to me. As a rule I just don't like stupid people and I certainly don't like stupid characters and Steve is one of the stupidest of all time.

His decision to suddenly agree to marry Linda is really inexplicable.

When she shot him down because daddy had no yet approved Steve's reaction was 100% correct. Based upon the story and the characters up to that point....the fact that Linda shows up one day and demands that they get married... just doesn't work in the story.

Steve's reaction to Linda's strong father and a marriage proposal was the correct one but because Steve is a ucking idiot... as are all of slipruff's male characters.... Steve does not understand the implications of what Linda's strong connection to her father actually would mean in a marriage. He really needed to think about how the marriage could possibly work. Instead Steve reacted to rather superficially to Linda's insistence that daddy be involved in the decision/ marriage. He never really thought it through .

Steve's firing from his college job because of some sort of massive conspiracy and false sexual-harassment charges sounds like a bad episode of Mission impossible... or Burn Notice. It's contrived and over the top.

Some readers are not going to be comfortable with Steve's rage and the coldheartedness he has towards Linda.... and specifically at the time of Linda's accident. While it may seem over-the-top to some ....from Steve's point of view it is pretty clear that Linda has sided with her dad and the fabulous lifestyle and even when she was caught cheating she intentionally lied about what was going on.

Even worse is Steve's reluctance to convey to the daughter over the years that some of the things she was being told about him were not true. I understand how children can be turned against one parent or the other in a divorce... but as the daughter got older surely he could of found the

or made the opportunity to convey some sort of facts or hs a side of things. Instead he let a daughter steamroll him to the point where Steve just gave up even trying to have any basic minimal contact with his own daughter.

That is a pretty weak and shallow individual. To be sure the confrontation scene at the end of the story is well done. Of course Bob pays No price at all... and the wife is a moron. In the end it really doesn't make up for the fact that at first steve is an idiot then shallow... then just a weakling.

finally a story where the man acts like a man without going rambo or whatever on the cheaters. maybe this makes me a bad person, but im glad he didnt give linda a kidney and while i was debating how i felt about him giving his kid a transplant i realized she probably was brainwashed almost her entire life. frankly, there are so many stories of pussies that i almost felt sick. its not that i want the guy to be a retired navy seal or anything, but i do want him to be a man and to be honest, yea, some people would forgive if not necessarily forget but others wouldnt and some of those would become angry, unforgiving and possibly bitter. although, im surprised slirpuff wrote this because he usually writes his husbands as pussies and waste of spaces.

I'm a big fan of yours but this is not one of your better efforts. Steve, as portrayed in your story, is a vindicive, self-centered bastard who cares about noone but himself and his mother.Any man who lets his wife die because he hates his father-in-law is despicable.

60 year old George

He tells daddy "sure, I'll help your daughter out. But I don't want your money. I want you to kill yourself. Wrap your face around a shotgun and pull the trigger with your toe. Once the mortician gets you ready for your closed casket funeral, I'll give her a chunk of my liver. How about that?"

I liked this story overall. Steve is understandable in many ways even if he made the cardinal mistake of now forcing a deeper seperation between Linda and her father after the marriage and that allowed her father to insert Don into the equation.

However, there were a few flaws that I saw, minor, but there.

First, you have Steve and Linda having some ultra-rare blood type. If they did, why did Linda's parents not have the same, perhaps one of them could have been the liver donor, or the kidney donor for Annie. Blood types are genetic, so they have to be passed down. I can't see how only Linda, Steve and Richie had that blood type. Its a minor scientific quibble, but it did distract me some.

Second, authors here seem to have no understanding of how sexual harassment suits and stuff work. Like the Winterfoxx story where I pointed out that the payoff for the wrongful termination was far too low, once again we have a sexual harassment situation that would never happen in corporate America, Lawyers would have a feeding frenzy over this and the publicity for the university would be devestating. Steve would have been paid at least 10 times your amount, if the university was insane enough to accept the trumped up charge. I doubt they would have, the negative publicity of a lawsuit over it would guarantee that they could never hire another competent male professor. Its neat in a Burn Notice type of way, but it doesn't work.

I actually had no problem with Steve refusing to donate part of his liver to save Linda. She was not a blood relative, and the one doctor admitted that it was a risky procedure considering his blood type, so why save a woman who had spent five years ruining his relationship with his daughter? I agree with his decision there, it wasn't worth it.

The ending had some grammatical errors, although I figured out what Slirpuff wanted to say. The editors needed to give the story one more pass though.

Keep writing, the stories are enjoyable even if sometimes you struggle to find new and unique plot twists. And ignore the overly negative rants about this story, they appear to be part of the usual 2 camps. Those that wish the hero was even more nasty, and those who believe that cheating should never be punished.

This is a well-written story, but unfortunately developed on the foundation of Steve's character. I can read about Steve with interest for the few pages of a short story, but the guy is so despicable, I would not enjoy reading a story of any length about a person like this. Moreover, Steve’s stupid character relegates this story to mediocrity. (HarryinVA does a good job of describing all the stupid things Steve does.) There is nothing easier than to create a dramatic (but mediocre) story based on a stupid protagonist, because he/she is liable to do anything and get himself/herself into any situation. This has been a problem with LW category stories. Authors take the easy way out to create tension and drama by basing their stories on one or more stupid protagonists or antagonists that the author can use to create almost any situation and make it seem probable.

SP's writing has really improved and his plots are just as convoluted and diabolical as ever. Makes for a <i>very</i> interesting read! The only character more evil on the site (than Bob) is Winterfrog's "dragon woman" mother-in-law. I think the first marriage would have worked if they had simply moved away. The problem was the proximity to Bob. Great story, though.

the story. Yes Steve is littel extreme in his actions, but I think you laid enough groundwork for his reactions that I could see his side of the story and understand why he became such a hard and vindictive man. And you should thank your prood readers: your writing has improved so much and you have come a long way in the way you develop your plots. Your experimenting has been interesting. Keep up the good work.

I liked it, I think it was a little over the top, but so is kissing your wife after watching her get gangbanged, nobody does that, except here. At least its a story about a guy with balls, which is in short supply, so thanks.

bob still lives his good life. his daughter paid that's all. you did better in other stories where you did not try so hard to get justice

While I enjoyed reading this story, one important element made me uneasy. Outside of the ethics and morality involved in actively contributing to someone's death (because she cheated on you), I wondered about the reality of a living donor transplant of a liver, adult to adult.

This procedure is exceedingly rare and only recently available. Mostly we hear of liver transplants from deceased donors, or of sections going from a living adult to a child. I question whether this element was realistic enough for your story.

This piece was about as erotic as a plane crash. I didn't realise Literotica was a therapeutic service for vindictive grudgebearing writers to exorcise their anger and hatred.

THIS story is what cheating wives/loving wives is all about. All this bullshit about 'adventuous' wives fucking around and couples having swinging or open marriages, and cuckold wimp stories, they are the bullshit stories, readers and writers like you get off on such bullshit, I bet you sit there and jerk off while youe your sexy wife has the best sex you never gave her from someone else and then eat a fresh creampie from her nasty cunt. But if that's what you find erotic? Then you are the sad one. NOT the writer.

Fictions are supposed to be FUCKINGLY satisfying, like this!

Ultimately, the lost was of the evil grandparents, especially Bob's, although Steve did probably lose some good memories of his and Linda's early years, too. But as Steve rationalized away, she was someone who loved and then rejected him, whatever contributing factors her dad might have played in her thinking. She, as Steve said, might not have been the brightest woman ever lived; but she's intelligent and adult enough to know right from wrong, moral and ethics, and decency. She CHOSE to reject AND THEN humiliate a man who, though humble in achievement and in work background, loved and cherished her above all else.

Hate, as Steve aptly put, sustained him. And in this situation, the hatred was well proportioned. But he finally made Bob "pay", and that was to acknowledge the FACT that he contributed DIRECTLY to his daughter, Linda's, death, NOT STEVE who refused 7mil dollars in bribe/blood money. But Steve, as he said too, got the ONE THING that is truly a part of him --- and rightly enough a part of what WAS GOOD about Linda of her early years, in --- ANNIE, the product of their union from those happier times of his youth.

With Annie's love, with Debra's love, and with his mother's love, Steve would heal and move on. Bob, on the other hand, would go to his grave regretfully RUEING the day he cold-bloodedly set out to plan the (unsuccessful) down fall of a man without much but has a steely and determined heart beating in his chest... But then again perhaps for a man like Bob, losing a daughter means nothing, since he still has millions to make himself happy buying and humiliating people left and right...

Well done, slirpuff! We agree with Poizon69's comments as well as most of Harry's analysis but Salamis with the comment about: "actively contributed to her death?" [bullshit, we totally disagree - the ex husband did not put her in the hospital with internal injuries. She deserve to die one way or another. The ex did not pull the trigger or even set the events in motion, although the ex-husband probably wishes he had that power.] Salamis other comment about "ethics & morality" was neutral but the slut ex-wife, Bob and Don do not deserve any consideration in regards to ethics & morality.

The only thing we would have like to be added was more confrontation dialogue/action at the hospital that would have explained even better how much Steve was hurt over the whole nasty 'over-the-top" divorce and fallout. Too bad when the one-legged idiot was on the hospital floor - Steve did not piss all over him and the ex slut wife while finally getting some decent revenge. Additionally missing was the appropriate revenge on "Bob" - as one comment already stated, it would have been great if Steve could have fucked up his marriage & wife as Bob had already done to the main character's former marriage & life.

Thanks again, Slirpuff for a decent story and this one was much better than your other stories which feature the weak, wimp-cluck male characters.

There was no wimp, cuckhold, wifesharing, open marriage or swinging lifestyle crap in the story, so that is a big plus. Also, your writing continues to improve. The story had a cheating wife, an asshole father-in-law, a brainless mother-in-law and as happy of an ending as there could have been in a story filled with pain and suffering. In divorce situations when kids are ripped to shreds between two parents, the mental poisoning that they have to endure often times builds walls that forever destroys their relationships with the unfortunate parent who doesn't have custody or access. Anyone who believes that the parent who is forced out of the child's life can just ram their way back in and shine the light of truth so that the child will love and believe them again are spending too much time reading wimp and cuckhold stories. Good job, author! Thanks for sharing. Ohio, USA

Your pitiful character is perhaps the worst ever invented. Disgusting! I hope he's not representative of your own personality

Paybacks are a bitch, and the bitch deserved everything she got. I probably would have pissed on her grave at least once. Bob needed to suffer more, a little baseball bat therapy would have been in order. Steve was a lot more empathetic towards Annie than she probably deserved, even though she was brain washed. Albeit not very erotic, the revenge was great as he allowed his ex do die with out committing murder and was able to send her on to hell with a few zingers. He is fortunate that Bob did not hire thugs to snatch his liver. I noticed many anonymous non-men objected to this story, ignore them, as they have neither names nor balls, and their bleats are of no importance.

Those years long ago: he was a young man, still not old and mature enough, with strongly and firmly laid down principles. <p>

When you are in love, you do any thing, and many things people do --- not me as I've never done any of those things --- are not very rational, again, if you're still young. <p>

Steve's first reaction to Linda's rejection, due to explicit okay from her father, was a typical reaction of a head-strong, willful, determined, and independ minded young man. And his acquiescence to Linda's impromptu showing up at his place demanding his re-propoal, now with her evil dad's non-vetoing (not supportive but simple non-vetoing) nod, was ALSO A REASONABLE thing, for a young man without mature counsel or guidance. <p>

Under the circumstances, he did the best decision making he could; after all, he was really in love with Linda and, as most people say, you don't just turn your love for someone off immediately, simply because you think they are just not standing up to their dad but are likely also in love with you... <p>

This event, earlier on in Steve's life, then, didn't and doesn't show him to be stupid like Harry claims.... His impulsivity due to youth is entirely understandable... note how strongly he reacted to his mother's dread about his wanting to play a violent sport and her ultimate prohibition of him from playing... <p>

But like her --- and he got his decisiveness from his no-good father and mother --- although he makes impulsive decisions, he follows through, when it is proven he is right, and he's willing to suffer all consequences the stem from such decisions, until some thing else IMPORTANT enough in life SHOWS him that a re-consideration is in order. His daughter, Annie, did it, and Steve readily agrees to change his mind, once the truth sets both sides free; at least with individuals important in his life: like his mother, Brenda, and his daughter Annie. <p>

Bob can go and will go, in Steve's bitter mind, STRAIGHT to hell and Steve would gladly pack Bob some lunch! Anne, Annie's maternal granther, is not talked about much by the author.... so we don't know much about her character, other than the fact that she probably was a weak character like her duaghter, Linda, and was/is able to be easily influenced by her husband, evil Bob... <p>

Again, for a 2-page Lit story about cheating and revenge, this is one of the really best generally speaking. As I said, I think this is Slirpy's best story yet. It is strong, poignant, with a strong, vengeful yet also kind man... one who, even with strong emotions in his herat, also can be a forgiving husband and father, who can and will change his mind, when given the benefit of the doubts. <p>

It's too bad we don't know much about Brenda and Annie's characters; but they seem to be good ones... And Steve, being impulsive and strong-willed, will need strong but loving women (1) like his daugther, who's good at heart despite years of serious and systematic brain washing by Bob, her grandfather; (2) like Steve's mother and (3) like his current wife Brenda... <p>

From this stand, you can see Steve is actually a rather well-planned out character by the author Slirpy... Vengeful, yes, but only towards those who reawlly need it! He is more than ready to be forgiving towards those who deserve his love, like his little daughter, Annie... <p>

The one small character I don't understand is Steve's own father. But then I do weird things like that myself, so I guess his strangeness makes sense: when you love something or someone deeply, you do irrational things. Steve's father couldn't stand seeing another offspring of his die, so he took off and never returned. Very weird but very understandable, for me at least...Especially since Steve's mother has never hated her no-good husband for his disappearing act... but truly understand his strange, fatal pain...

with this fucking subject, it's just been done to death here lately. Probably the most depressing vilest tale I've read. Absolute shit.

Steve could have spent some of the half million having a PI tail both Bob and Don, finding out that both had extra marital affairs, as well as evidance that Bob had paid Don to seduce Linda. Steve initial reason would be revenge on Bob, but that since his findings would never be trusted as genuine, he gives up and moves on with life

When the accident came up. I wished Steve would have offered to give part of his liver if Bob and Don would take a lie detector test, with Ann and Linda witnessing the test. Bob would refuse and offer 7 million.

At the final confronation, Steve would be able to say that Bob had a choice of either having his daughter live hating him, or die loving him, and that it was Bob's choice to make.

When Steve and Debra leave, it would be while listening to Annie screaming "MURDERER! YOU KILLED MY MOTHER!" as they left. Annie would then again run to Steve and Debra and leave with them, forever.

Like it.

Any revenge story is better than ANY reconciliation story but this one was tops! I might, just might, have enjoyed having our hero jack up the price of his liver to the point where the Dad was stretching financially, then used the money to destroy him, the new hubby and the cheating slut wife.

Having her dead means the revenge ends. A living revenge is even better.

Steve has real emotions that alot of people would have had in his siruation. Also, who says you have an obligation to give up a body part. It was his choice, maybe not one that i'de made. Great tale!

Well "Sir" Puff....you really know how to wave a red flag in front of a bull, or maybe a whole herd of them. Just love it. Thank you. LOL

As others have said, the editing could have been better. " . . . see what new addition was they're waiting for me," is an example -- they're should have been "there." And we still have "to" being used instead of "too" which means also. But the story itself has some originality, some unexpected twists, and some impact -- in general, it was a very good story. Agree with others, Bob should have suffered more punishment in an ideal world with divine justice. He really was the epitome of an evil, rich man. This and the last story both seem fixated on rare blood types and organ transplantation . . . is this coincidence? Thanks for writing.

This was a "Special" story and well written. It was well crafted and was a nice ending. Thanks for sharing, your stories I have found to be many of my favorites and look forward always to seeing a new story by you. Thanks.

Very good Loved the story and the Characters were awsome.

First though - Nice work Author - all the emotional buttons were pushed at least once and the consequence was fitting in my eyes.<P>

I don't think anyone who hasn't been through a divorce from a cheating spouse can understand the unfairness of their actions so blindly imposed.<P>

Especially when there are children. A man cheated upon, divorced unfairly and alone isn't something I would wish upon my worst enemy.<P>

So when I see the righteous braindead speaking from their hindmost posterior gaping opening about how inhuman the offended is acting after in this case being shat upon from every quarter for not turning the other cheek or liver in this case.<P>

The negative comments point out to me how people forget that they must walk several miles or years in another's shoes before haphazardly casting the noose of negativity upon the wrong head.<P>

Nice work Author - you are to be looked forward to.

With High Regard

Richie, the other potential donor said that "he felt he could be putting his family in jeopardy if he was to die". Well, Steve being a young man had a future family as well as Annie to consider whether to donate a kidney to Linda. Emotion aside, Steve has to store his blood if he needs it so why should he put himself at risk for a revealed stranger.Yes - Linda turned out to become a stranger to Steve by her actions. If she wanted her Daddy's lifestyle you would think that she would talk to Steve about it? As much as Bob was painted a villain it was Linda who wanted to marry Steve despite her father's objections. It was Linda who would rather spend time with Don and his like than Steve and her daughter. It turned out that Bob knew his daughter better than either Steve or she did. Even after knowing about her father's role in her fall she still stood by while Steve's career was destroyed and she worked to undermine his relationship with Annie. Overall, the idea that Steve should benefit those who have hated him is a religious obligation

is stupid. Great story - Thanks!

Linda needed a liver transplant. You don't get liver transplants from living patients. Steve would have to die in order for him to give Linda his liver. Makes a big hole in the story. Sometimes you can do a partial liver transplant but that is unusual and the author didn't didn't say it was a partial. Would any of you take seven million dollars for your liver?

to slirpuff: Thanks for sharing. I just sat back and enjoyed your story as usual ... even the "dark bit"!

to Anonymous live liver transplanter doubter: maybe if you did a little research (e.g. search engine) before you exercised your right to criticize ... you would see that live liver transplants are indeed quite possible. And you're right ... the author didn't write that only a lobe was being transplanted ... I'm guessing he assumed we would figure that out.

Point 1. WRONG!!!!-She saw him stand up to dad pal, y'know what that does to a daddy's girl? Point 2.WRONG!!!!Author elicited very thoroughly Steve's understanding of Bobs potential.Point 3.WRONG!!!!This type of firing is so fucking common (if you actually read the occasional newspaper) the comment seems bizarre.Point 4.WRONG!!!!Many men give up on a parental relationship with less daunting impediments than he faced.Point 5.WRONG!!!!HIV< how the fuck do you know that this fictional character Bob doesn't pay a price in the future???? Don't even bother ranking on Slirp Harry, your loathing compromises your sobriety, and your comprehension.

Good story overall. Minor editing needed and while I didn't like Steve's decision vis a vis Linda, I can understand it. Good job Slirpuff on the emotional side.

Lazy, regarding your rant on the realities of sexual harrassment charges.

1. Yes, you're right, he could likely fight and win a huge settlement against the university, if he has proof. IF and even then its not guaranteed.

2. Odds are thats not gonna happen. The school didn't settle anyways with him other than to act as a mediator with the father in law while avoiding any bad publicity.

3. To say something like that would never happen in the corporate world or education world is grossly naive. I suggest you read up on some of the crazier sex harrassment cases or say look at the Hofstra case or Duke "non rape" case from a few years ago.

IIRC, a professor once gave an anti feminist/sexual harrassment lecture, covering the witch hunts and false accusations that are going out of control. Long story short, that professor cost his school after two feminist gals claimed harrassment with the sketchiest of evidence a bunch of money.

-Hex

the Dad's reaction to his ex-wife? relatable. good that he was able to move on.

Thanks for the story.

By the second page you could see where this was going to be headed!

Her Dad and family did turn his blood to ice water!

This hit close to home! I married a woman who 's family had money and they rubbed it in my face every chance they got! I was beneath them, still am. She was an only child and Daddy's girl. Just like Bob in your story her Dad spoiled her wrotten said shit to her behind my back. Planted wrotten seeds in her head. Till it came to a head one day and I stood up to them

There was one hell of a lot of yelling. I told them how things were going to be. They damned near dis-owned their own daughter. I never seen anything like it. They prize their lifestyle, possesions, money more than their own flesch and blood. So what the fuck is with the rich? It can get to a point where it makes them mentally ill. Our relationship even after 30 years is at best cool/cordiall nothng more, even with their only daughter. She still cries about it from time to time. They just don't get it. I hope that money

Keeps them cool in hell, but I dought it. Our kids their grandkids have come to realize how they are, and have asked a ton of questions over the years.

We let them form their own opinions. Our relationship with our kids is loving & caring. It will be real interesting to see what is in their wills when they pass on. I am betting on it all going to charity or whatever place. One final slap in the face their only kid which they say they love but their actions over 30 years say something completely different.

I didn't realize I was going to write a book but the story got me thinking and hit me harder than I thought it did.

Thanks for writing!

... cut out some cardboard, paint it with cheap morality

and put it on the stump to teach the world a lesson.

well, it isn't hard to write a story, is it?

No apologies - fucked up authors like angiquesophie who could not decipher a decent morality concept with cue cards, does not get the "benefit of the doubt" when leaving such "moronic sarcasm" comments on a decent story. Anyone who has spent some time review various authors of this site can pick out a self-centered man-hating author, miles away - please crawl back underneath the rock from which you frequently escape from. Debra & Wayne

I really don't care for the ending.

Basically the ex-father-in-law still got away with his sins, when Steve let his daughter stay with the grandparents.

Just seems as though the resolution was forced and didn't dish out the level of emotional pain that the grandparents deserved, or loving contact between Annie and Steve's mother.

Just OK.

Thanks.

1) the father-in-law didn't get away with it. He lost his beloved daughter, he has a lot of guilt, he lost his wife's respect, and he lost his grand-daughter. Sure, his hate for Steve diminishes his self-pity but either way, life is NOT going to be very fun for him now is it?? He's still human enough to feel pain at the loss of his daughter. He was not completely evil, just greatly immoral.

2) Steve did not actively contribute to Linda's death. That's called PASSIVELY contributing, if anything! It's a good revenge. God might not be pleased but I think he could forgive such selfishness - and selfishness is not always a bad thing, because sometimes you need things for yourself. He was really badly hurt, and some of you readers don't understand that he needed some payback. It would make him a wimp to give in, and you wouldn't like that would you? He gave his LIFE to Linda, but she rejected it and turned it upside down and ruined it, and now you want him to give her his liver??

3) Payback: would you rather he killed them all? Yes, swearing at them in the hospital might seem childish but doing it to someone in the deathbed and another who lost his legs is incredibly humiliating for the recipients (although the dying person might care very little). Anyone calling him a baby is an idiot. Sticks stones and words can hurt.

4) The liver transplant should have been clearer. Live adult to adult transplant means surely donating at least around half the liver? If it was all of it, why should he donate it?

5) Steve's main mistake was not doing anything about it when Linda was drifting apart in the first place. It's a bad storyline for him personally when allows this to happen.

5) Interfering, overbearing in-laws are a menace to society. That's a particular sub-class of in-laws: I'm not condemning them all. But particularly people who grew up with a silver teaspoon in their mouth cannot really get along with less afluent people.

I've reading through your stories the whole day long, and it just seemed too much full of hatred - so unlike your other main characters. The protagonist seemed just too damned cold when he lets the woman he once shared life with die when he could save her life. It was too damned cold that it becomes almost impossible to feel sorry for him. He just became what he hated most. He became worse than the father-in-law by 'killing' his child's mother. The story just seemed so unlike you, and too poor.

I liked your story.....mrbill

That Bob is a f-king arsehole. Just thinking about it makes me wanna shoot him. All things a side nice story, if abit depressing .

The father in law Bob still was in control if Annie still lived with them. i could think of better ways to humiliate and demean Bob and allowed Linda to live in shame. It is a special story.

When the mother died Why didnt the father get custody of the child there isn't a court that would allow the child to live with the grandparents when the father is still living and has a steady job and income?

A lot of fine work in this story, very creative. A lot of depresing feelings here but well done. R.T.

Imagine the emotion he felt turning Linda down for a transplant. His hurt at her betrayal. The anguish at having his daughter taken from him.

A sad, sad story but very well written. Tearful as it is I guess we still need to thank you for the effort of another well written story!

Thanks!!!

It just sad that Linda didn't suffer longer as an invalid or that bob didn't suffer somehow.

I would have done the same thing to Linda, there was nothing redeemable about her, do he made the right decision.

As for the wimp who didn't think cheaters should die, well you're very very wrong. We kill spy's and traitors in times of war, why shouldn't cheaters who betray their marriage vows pay for it with their lives. Maybe it would make the assholes who think cheating is ok, or even set think again.

I read this one last night. Then I had to reread it again. For whatever reason, it's premise touched a chord in me.

I say this despite the rather poor dialouge and reasoning involved.

You were right to gloss over Bob's pitch to Steve because I'm not sure that you could have done it justice. Steve for the entire third page didn't sound like a college professor as much as a truck driver.

But I gave it four stars because I read it and reread it.

Other problems was the normal lack of proper punctuation, particularly with regard to quotation marks and the scene of the infidelity was poorly explained

I don't like Steve; his too angry, too unforgiving, and too emotional. The story has lots of problems with things that would never happen in real life. However, I did read the story and it activated my emotions so I believe it is worth the 4****s.

Steve was the man, and all of you' "he was to hatefull" people are pussies. Steve way to go, the only bad thing was he didn't piss on her grave.

...how an idiot like DWMoronfuck can complain in each and every comment it makes about how the story could never happen in real life, when in real life anyone as stupid as DWMoronfuck should have managed to drown itself already drinking from the toilet. Ah, well, we can always hope. Maybe one day soon its brain-damaged superannuated mother will forget to feed and clean it, and it will die a withered shell of a a formerly fat, gross slug, locked away in its mother's basement, slowly decomposing in its own shit.

The one thing about payback is that it goes around - not one way. Meaning though Steve may have gotten his payback with Linda, Bob(father) could have gotten his payback with him again. If I was Bob, I would have gone out of my way to destory him utterly and slowly. That would be easy - just pass the word that he allowed his ex-wife to die(true) along with some of tibbits which maybe lies(cheats around, has AIDS, etc). That would certanly turn people off and I for one would not want to associate myself with him. Who wants to associate with a person who seeks revenge at that level. I find it really hard to believe any woman would. Also I saw Annie forgiving her father way too easily. Remember, her father ultimatley killed her mother despite what her grandfather did when they were married. Also another scenario - if I were Bob I would have kidnapped good old Steve and pump him dry of his blood over time and took whatever parts from his body I needed and then dumped his body in the gutter since that is the type of person he is. Payback indeed.

I thought about Bob just kidnapping the guy and hacking out his liver. It seemed perfectly in character for the bastard.

Here is the problem. The protagonist is 'Special'

What happens when Linda just appears with a new liver and her ex disappeared? You think the police couldn't put the pieces together? You think the criminals and/or doctors aren't going to drop a dime on him? What reputable doctor is going to just install a liver they got in a thermos into a woman without asking some hard questions?

As an additional point, there is a timeliness factor. Linda was dying and had to have the liver STAT. Do you think Bob has 'criminal doctors' in his Rolodex? How would you meet someone like that? How quickly could you put together a bootleg surgical theater with trained accomplices? How many other witnesses would be involved?

I don't see Bob gracefully accepting an orange jumpsuit, even to save the life of his daughter. Now the granddaughter? He was probably putting out feelers on the issue.

It was within his character to try it, but not within his ability. Much easier to bribe the woman he was fucking into asking.

Bob got his way. Bob wins.

I just read this story again and I still liked it. But I was wondering how the story would end if Steve had told Bob that he would go for the surgery for his ex only if he was given sole custody of his daughter. Major dilemma for Bob. Keep either the daughter or the grand daughter but not both.

the author's written is top drawer

This was a perfect example of what you might call 'Intermingling of the classes." Linda was out of his class and her father Bob never let him forget it. Manipulating his daughter into an affair and ruining the marriage and relationship with the daughter Annie was what he wanted all along. Except it came back to bite him in the ass.

Linda was a cheating wife and Bob a jerk off manipulating father who controlled his daughter to death, literally. At least Steve gained a good life in the end.

Yeah

So he gets a teaching job at a college and hopes to do research after getting a bachelor degree in sociology? BULL! As someone with BS in sociology, let me assure you, you can't do diddly with it. Probably qualifies this for the sci-fi section.

Otherwise, good story.

To all you cuck authours out there, this is how a REAL Man behaves. Way to go.

Bob was an nassbkle because he was rich, but clownshoes was an asshole naturally. I mean, the love of his life is a bit old fashioned and wanted him to ask her fathers permission, but asshat couldn't stand it and pouted until everyone missed his ass.

Then, he blames Bob for Linda's death when he was the one who refused time and time again. To make matters worse, he goes to the hospital to gloat and insult her. What a man! What a hero. Maybe he could have kicked a homeless person or stole the crutches from a disabled war veteran?

To show his true colors, rather than acting like an adult, when his second wife approaches him about his daughter, he flies into a rage. Again, acting like an asshile, blaming everyone else but himself.

Steve was righteous and acted well except for one thing; his BTB act went too far when he refused to help his ex-wife. He should have made contact with his daughter a condition of his effort then. Refusing Linda treatment was just too over-the-top. Not murder, per se, but Annie should have some serious questions. If Bob were angry when Steve was courting his daughter, I'm surprised that he wasn't *vengeful* when he let her die. Otherwise, a great story

Let's see ... if he DID give up half his liver for his ex-sweetie, could he also give up a kidney for his daughter a few years later? Good thing no one was likely to need a testicle!!! Other good thing? There was a surplus of assholes!

4*

Such as "caret" not "carrot", and "dim sum" not dim sung. Other examples were there to interfere with the story.

Commentators have already reviewed the deficiencies in the characters and their actions.

Why tolerate betrayal? People can't just keep going around and stabbing their loved ones in the back and expect help the moment they are in need.

Linda's cheating was the first betrayal, getting him fired was the second, and turning the daughter against Steve and his mother was the final straw.

If someone were put in Steve's shoes and did save Linda, well they are indeed good people. But putting him down for standing his ground under the circumstances when they've probably never been betrayed to that level is just stupid.

His insulting Linda at the hospital was maybe too much, but I guess he snapped and I probably would too. It's easy to observe and say you'd take the high ground but when it happens to you personally it's often very hard to do so.

Also like someone else mentioned, what if his daughter ever needed that organ? Better to save it for her instead.

The ONLY flaw with this tale is that Bob didn't eventually get a terminal illness that resulted in a slow, lingering, painful and debilitating demise. The cheating cunt deserved to die, Don the scum sucking douche bag deserved his life sentence as a cripple, and Ann the "loyal wife" of fuckface Bob deserves her granddaughters everlasting contempt. To all you bleeding hearts who criticized Slirpuff...EAT SHIT AND DIE!

is that Annie continued to live with her grandparents. Bob's punishment would have been to lose his granddaughter as he had lost his daughter.

not a flaw if he was dismissed for sexual conduct with a student and at some age the child gets to choose or at least state her opinioin. but when momma died she was hisunless there was an exclusion order.

Should have made Bob pay him enough to hurt Bob financially and set him, his daughter and new wife up for life.

A bit cropped at the conclusion - would have been better to wrap this tale with a bit of fleshing out on the after op. Still, a good read.

Thx

....yes hindsight is great...but then there would never been an Annie(she did bring some joy at a time or another) or a Deb.

Good call about the liver though...Richie made same call in a manner...Linda was not family(her choice)....come on she didn't work it out when he asked as he concluded,she realized he wasn't the fool she was led to believe he was...she was already talking him out of attending parties....and the boat test run thing?,Daddy's wife can't so take daughter who has to leave hubby and child at home....saw he as being replaced from a mile off......all in all he maned up when he was really need...Annie was his she had no choice as to who and how unique her parents where....

1 living with grandparents not dad after all that daughters a little cunt waste of a kidney

2 dead cunt mom ain't looking down,she is looking up from hell, way to fucking evil stupid to believe that she needed to confess, so burn you cunt burn.

5 stars

Worst grandparents who ever lived. Read it before and said it was decent. Now I don't remember why. Oh I know. Because it was well written but lousy characters.

Bob needed to be put down like the mad-dog he was. As for giving anyone a piece of my body, in my family there's an understanding that it'll never happen from any of us. Never liked the idea of literally stealing years from someone else's life to prolong my own, even if it's voluntary on their part. And don't let the doctors fool you, your life is shortened, significantly.

The centerpoint to this story is deep rooted pure sullied love. The emotion is amplified to extreme heights and well positioned and displayed for all readers to bear witness. This story isn't a feel good story in the vagues sense. It's like observing a catastrophe and you do your best to forget it with prejudice. The skill of this writer is beyond magnificent, but the story is cruel crude and repulsive. The main characters were in constant with the swell of jealousy and hate at its worst. Eventhough this story is repulsive, it has human interests and wisdom in its periphery. The people hurt were the objects of everyone's love at one time or another in this story adding to the fantastic nature of the story's evolution. The author had the ability to allow redemption and hope,which were dispensed in great economy. The author scored extremely high in evoking hordes of emotion especially for this reader.

The guy was right not to take the 7 million dollars to give up his liver.

You've only got ONE, and you need it for... well there's a hint in the name: LIVEr!

The human emotion is very volatile. I agree with the anonymous poster the grandfather should be put down like a rabid dog. What a douche bag. After reading again, I don't want to ever find myself in a situation such as this. Personally, I don't think I would have survived.

To the author, a very good attempt at looking at the dark side that can happen when someone is totally shit on. 5* for a good read.

I realize the story is about going to the dark side as per the intro. Fine, lets go there, but I don't get Steve blaming Bob for the death of Linda when was in his power to save her and he refused to do so repeatedly. This smacks of an immature individual placing self importance over the life of another, especially that of the mother of his own child. He got even but in gaining that, he lost the right to claim the high ground. In fact, between him and Bob, Steve is the worst scum. At least Bob was willing to trade away a fortune to save a life, Steve threw away a life for mere revenge.

The kidney was wasted on the Annie. After finding out all the shit her grandfather did and what it cost her....

Her mothers life,

Her father being part of her life growing up,

Her being part of a loving family instead of her having no father and one instead of two grandmother's,

She still lived with the evil fucks but its ok as their rich and spoil her!

Wow what a moralistic piss-ant point of view very pro christian(bullshit), Steve refused his liver to bitch who fucked up his life, and he is allowed to, nay he is encouraged to by the shit they put him through "reap what you sow" and as Christ said "due unto others as you want others to due unto you". The other thing you can claim high ground because of freewill you moralistic wimp, he did not cause the accident or the actions that put them there they did, freewill fuck head they used theirs he used his, and as the man said " I won't kill you but i don't have to save you" and its true,bitch.

i would have pissed on her grave.

A considerable amount of poetic license, but not a bad story.

I can't think of a real college that would allow someone with a degree in Sociology to teach and "so a little research". A Masters would be a minimum for adjunct positions (part-time lecturer).

And asking for someone's liver for a transplant would be a little extreme since that couldn't be taken from a healthy person as it would, you know. kill them. A kidney transplant, yes, if the donor had two. But not a liver. That would come from someone who was alive, but brain dead.

Never the less, I enjoy your stories. They could be that much better with a few minutes on something like Wikipedia.

If you are going to lose everything anyway, why not take everything from them too? All it takes is the willingness to inflict physical pain and mortal wounds to your enemies. The consequences? What you get arrested and spend your life in prison? So what? They took you family away from you! If you can't deal with prison, then save a bullet for yourself. The bottom line is there are some things worth killing for and if necessary dying for. Your family is without a doubt one of those things.

....was....

"Your wife, your life's work, your pride and even your dreams; all gone, taken by someone who did it because they could. Would you go to the dark side, as I like to call it, to get your revenge, to make them pay even though you may lose yourself in the process?"

I have a one word answer. YES. Take those from me, especially my wife just 'because they could' and I would willingly give myself up to make them pay. No matter who they are, someone doing something like that to me is still flesh, blood and bone.

And people like that always need to keep in mind that there are people like me in this world. People who would take them and consume them. Bite after bite. No matter how God viewed the process. My revenge would be overwhelming and destruction that they couldn't imagine as they were tied and watching me carving pieces from them, then cooking and consuming it as they watched, would follow.

So when someone thinks they can always take whatever they wish, they need to keep in mind that there are others in this world who would willingly detonate a nuclear bomb to kill a single cockroach and damn the fallout. I would willingly become evil incarnate to wreak my vengeance against anyone who would 'take' from me.

The worst enemy that you can have is someone with nothing left to lose.

I can't see leaving the daughter with the grandparents, as well leave her for a pit of vipers to raise.

Liver transplants do not require the whole liver and can be from a live donor, the liver will regenerate from part.

It's probably safe to leave her with the grandparents because she now knows the truth and how they have manipulated her.

Could vs. could not or couldn't: these have absolutely opposite meanings.

Someone as much of a shit as Bob turned out to be who was already willing to spend seven million to save his daughter would have thought nothing of spending seven million to have someone put a very carefully aimed bullet in Steve's head, thereby rendering him both brain dead and hopefully in a position to have someone else willing to let him be a donor... And damned be the consequences...

It would have made for an interesting alternate story for the husband TO be killed that way and then Bob to "lose" his daughter anyway when she finds out how much worse he was than she thought...

"Daddy, Annie and I never ever want to see or have anything to do with you ever again. You ruined my marriage with Steve and now you've killed a good man just because you could. I hope you rot in Hell."

Donor matching for kidney transplants is far, far more complicated than blood typing. And Daddy Big Bucks could have found a match besides our hero who clearly does not have much sense when it comes to choosing a bride.

WTF is 'dim sung'?' Oh that's right, you don't spell check.

let his ex-wife die? That was just cold. I know she was a cheater that let her father set them up and break they marriage apart, but still really? But then again I guess in the same situation if he had gotten into an accident she'd do the same, because daddy would say no. I won't rate it just because the fact that he let his ex die instead of having the operation and saving her life.

Thank fuck this turd author quit writing. 1*

'Oh how could the mean man let the poor woman die?', they ask while fondling themselves. Why the fuck should he endanger his life, and at the very least drastically shorten his own life for such a worthless piece of garbage? Would all you dudley do rights give up a vital organ for someone that betrayed you beyond belief? For the person that fucking STOLE your child from you? If your answer is 'yes', then you are a lying, hypocritical piece of shit! Because if you claim you would do it for that kind of person, then why the fuck do you still have all your organs, when there are honest, good and deserving people out there in need of transplants? I fucking hate hypocrites that only ever tell others to 'Do the right thing'. Right in your opinion only. When was the last time any of you condescending bastards did the right thing. It's easy to preach, let's see some action!

"Steve, you're going to make yourself nuts worrying about it. You're in God's hands and if he wants to take you, there's nothing you or I can do about it."

So why can't he play football?

"My husband is a good man, he would never do the things you're accusing him of."

Surely she knows about the cards and gifts that Steve's mother sent and Annie never got?