No need to read this story "Golden showers" the Tags say, so why isn't this in the FETISH category, pissing on someone is by most people's standards a FETISH.
Author should be road out of town on a rail tarred and feathered
So fucking illiterate I gave up then and there. This is shit writing at its worst.
.45 colt to the head cures the sickness this cunt suffers,or it could be her whoremones or other phsychobable. When will we admit there are certain sexual practices that are mentally sick and since many of the physchicirists are queer then it is normal to be queer
I thought it was a great story of a couple trying something new and different keeping the marriage fresh and alive
disgusting,people should only have sex with.the lights out in the missionary position to make babies....tho according to the same church young boys are good toys for priests..Grow up,calling this sick is the pot calling the kettle black,according to the religious reich reading erotic fiction is sick..
if you can't say something nice about someone, then shut the fuck up.
If you don't like the story, then don't read it.
I liked it, but not that much, and because I can't write any better I will not try to belittle the author or his story.
At least I don't hide behind the anonymous tag
Your writing is fine; it's not the best but I have seen worse. The story itself was good, I liked it. Of course, "golden shower" is not for everyone, so this would get better reception in Fetish section. Thanks Michelle and keep writing. :)
This offering (for which you have my appreciation and respect) is, in my opinion, a series of unrelated scenes. Neatest scene was in the airport parking lot, it had a lot of potential.
There are, however, several points which I believe would make this a lot better. First is tension ... Most of the tension in the airport 'Jill-off' scene was provided by the older dude who might have actually seen and reacted to her masturbation! But all he probably did was hear her moaning, if that! Everything else in the posting was risk-free.
Second would be character considerations. Since this is a story, Sweetie could be any age. Some years of marital experience seem to be called for, but there is nothing critical to the story (that I can discern) that makes 45 any better than 35 or 65! Two hot & horny 65s would stretch credulity (although not impossible, but it would have to 'sold' more!) - a little more detail about each one's history, plus their development as a couple, could make them more familiar and plausible!
I enjoyed the story because I enjoy people having uninhibited sex. She wanted to get fucked and pissed on for her 45th birthday. He wanted to fuck her face and shoot his semen in her mouth, thenpiss all over her. Both got their wishes. She doesn't wear panties. Nice story. I'd like more of the same genre.
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