All Comments on 'A Kitty for Santa Ch. 04'

Wow hun,that was fucking amazing.You did a very good job.I enjoyed this and it was totally worth the wait

A great conclusion to a thrilling tale. Loved the details and glad that they are finally together and happy. Thanks for sharing.

IDB.

I absolutely loved this story !!

but dang, how about some punctuation?

That was totally amazing ! You are a rock star baby , total rock star.

Worth the wait!

Great story with a happy ending. I love all your stories. You are a gifted author. Keep writing please. ChristieP

Ive been waiting for this last story. And its been well worth the wait for these last two. Look into getting these published. Maybe add in more so that you can make a novel or two out of this story of yours. Id buy it. In a heartbeat. Keep up the good work. One of the best short stories ive ever read!!

Beautiful story by an amazing writer. Never stop dear.

Monamante, i find myself at a loss for words right now. I have read all 4 chapters and all i can say for now is............. BEAUTIFUL! Rest assured i will return with comments befitting of Santa and Kitty's awesome journey................. Well done, I LOVED IT!

This is a sexy detective story and I just love it. Do continue to write for you have a marvelous talent.

You should make another chapter! Love this series!

sorry i did not understand the ending??

turned a great story weird

Great story! This should be made into a full length movie.

The ending is as best as it can be. Thanks for the story.

Amazing thanks 4 writing a beautiful story!

The grammar was kind of bad in places, and I had difficulty trying to figure out who was talking at times, but the characters were great, the plot was good, and the loving was awesome! thank you for sharing this with us!

Overall, the story wasn’t bad.

However, there was much to be disappointed about in the presentation of it.

The first chapter set a very clear tone of lesbian promiscuity, orgies, and predation. We were left with the impression, from that party, that the story was going to be about (meaningless) kinky sex.

Then, all that was discarded by the second chapter, and the main characters suddenly assumed rather conventional (but more appealing) sexual roles. Kitty, who looked like she’d happily fuck anything with two legs with a slit between them, suddenly can’t have sex with anyone without a close emotional connection. What the hell was that party about then? Because I thought the more conventional roles were such an improvement, I went with it, choosing to basically ignore the opening pages of the first chapter.

Chapter three was nearly boring, and totally out of character for the main characters as established in the second chapter. They got amazingly sloppy with their own safety. And then, magically, Jane disappears and we have page after page of rather vague sex with time passing at breakneck speed. It got boring pretty fast. I like sex. I like reading about sex. But not the same sex over and over. And then they were totally surprised (and totally amateur) getting caught by Jane. And after all that, the rescue was almost trivial to the story. We didn’t get to “see” the rescue from any character’s point of view; we were just told it happened, step one, step two, step three. No suspense or tension at all.

And please, Please, PLEASE, find an editor. There were parts of chapter four that were literally unreadable. Words were said, sentences were read, but they were almost gibberish in some cases. And long strings of back and forth dialog, not following dialog conventions, unattributed quote after quote until even the most diligent reader could only vaguely guess who said what.

I know you’re gone now … and are clearly not coming back … so this set of well-intended criticisms is pointless. But thinking about the story and writing them down helps my writing craft, so I do it anyway.

And, one last random thought, why did Kitty go to SO much trouble and subterfuge to run away to her father … only to leave after two measly weeks? Pretty crappy “hiding” if you ask me. But I guess it worked because when she came back, everyone had suddenly decided Jane was the devil, and the devil had returned to hell, never to be seen again.

OK, one last last thought. I rang so untrue to me that after being subjected to cuffs and blindfolds for days in Jane’s care, that Kitty would want to come back a month later and recreate that same scene with Santa! Ever heard of trauma?

And then ending with multiple pages of so clearly fake d/s was just sickening. It seemed to be written by someone who’d heard of d/s and just wanted to throw it in, rather than someone who had the tiniest psychological understanding of d/s.

And then … not one word … about what came next, after, or anything else. Done. Full stop.

Wow enjoyed this story