All Comments on 'Playtime for Angela'

by PJ296

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  • 16 Comments
LarryInSeattleLarryInSeattleabout 11 years ago
Editor, please

For crap sake, the past tense of "know" is "knew", not "new."

wrecktechwrecktechabout 11 years ago
2x EDITOR PLEASE!!!!

The story was worth 5*, but the multiple repetitions multiple repetitions of sentences of sentences in the same paragraph killed it. I was intending to go 3* but the story was too damn good otherwise. I'm left wanting to know more about Beth & Annie! Are they, or just Annie, a vigilante out to right wrongs or just a victim of Thomas's crime? If you want, I'll gladly look over any future work before submission.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago

Really.hood that cheating.bastard deserved it xD and at least now she knows what she really is ;)

Parkerslove40Parkerslove40about 11 years ago
Editor

Damn this is a good story but to keep repeating over and over

again killed it maybe thats how your wanted it if so I apologize

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
proofread first, please...

An excellent plot, but the execution was sloppier than a dog's kiss. The spelling and punctuation errors surely numbered in the hundreds. My advice for the author: in future, proofread anything you submit at least three times before hitting that SEND button.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
Pretty good

I enjoyed that, great little story and, as someone else has said, I'd like to know more about Annie and Beth's adventures.

My enjoyment was marred slightly by the punctuation and repetition though why anyone should feel the need to criticise so vociferously is beyond me.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
Damned good

Excellent story, but spoiled by evidence of edit work (like a repeat of some sentences).

It would be nice to know what happened to Angela later on.

HP

fanfarefanfarealmost 11 years ago
homophone-phobic

PJ, I gotta admit that I find your first story here very interesting. The concept of going after the economic criminals who infest the Executive ranks. Self-appointed, narcissist Ubermen. Predestined to rule over the rest of us, simply because a determined sperm reached the eagerly awaiting egg of an heiress.

tall, male, White, Avaricious, Self-entitled, Predator caste.

I myself favor reviving the guillotine, but I am notorious for my lack subservience to my betters.

Please do not allow the hostility of the commentators trolling you to discourage future postings. At first, the seeming editorial errors was distracting. But I have often had to interpret my way through original historical source material. I have always found that reading such confusion outloud, actually helps clarify the writing. Verbalizing your story, it becomes poetry.

Whether or not that was your intention, it worked for me and I would suggest to those hostile to this writing style to give my system of interpretation a try.

New for Knew but not Gnu...spell-check programs are notoriously homophone-phobic. There are a multitude of word-processing programs, of innumerable incongruous versions. Without any mechanism requiring coherency or compatibility. Then the postings get shoved through a nearly infinite labyrinth of inconstant communication systems. To wind up being reconstructed and re-processed at whatever available computers and software of the week, this site's personnel are using.

That any kind of a legible, coherent message is received by any of us is, by the closest measure, a supra-natural miracle.

When you, the reader have reached this level of comprehension, you may then achieve equanimity. Simply be amused when the wrong word, used in the right context, can be hilarious. Then go on with your lives in peace and tranquility.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Great story

Great story except there were a few repeats.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
very good

This is very very good. I recemend proof reading though but other then that, this is great!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Unrealistic and sexist

This came off to be Farley sexest and not at all realistic. She just completely stopped resisisting at a 180 almost. Didn't ease into it. Lot of sentences were repeated which made it somewhat confusing. And how Angela just 180's to a lesbian. Pretty damn sure it'd be just who could not just a woman. Gender doesn't mean anything it's the person. Makes men seem like complete jackass's and woman seem all inocent in this depiction. Ya you can put it were he was a jackass ya. But it's got to many subtle sexest remarks here and there that I personally find annoying

fanfarefanfareover 9 years ago
2nd read...

PJ, I am still enjoying this posting. I hope you will have the inspiration to contribute more stories to this site.

And as for annoyingmousie, if they were capable of understanding the difference between fiction and real life. If they were able to self-analyze their deep rooted hatred of everything female. Too cowardly to admit their subconscious desire to be female.

Simply reverse the dialogue between male and female characters. This would qualify as a Loving Wifes story in that infamous genre.

And all the analmousies of the BTB lynchmob would be applauding the well-deserved vicious punishment of the "Evil Woman". On behalf of the "Long-Suffering Saintly Man".

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Omg

You absolutly need to make more stories like this. It was amazing

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
BEST STORY EVER!!

I never expected this story to be so grasping. It is so much more than just one of the regular run of the mill sex stories. This will forever be one of my favorites hands down!

thaynethayneover 7 years ago
reaming thomas

great story about angela getting revenge on her husband.

alexwatson62alexwatson62about 2 years ago

Have to admit, I`m not usually a fan of non consent stories, but this one worked!

Anonymous
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