All Comments on 'The Girl Who Wasn't There Ch. 05'

Both sensual and exciting, I found your story, "The Girl Who Wasn't There" to be all there for me...

An erotic pleasure to read.... Well Done Sue, Well Done!

Gay Kat.

Absolutely brilliant. Unique plot and outstanding characters - Sue builds even secondary characters without being obvious about it, and there's no way you can put this story down. I can see this being produced for the big screen, or expanded to book-length -- but it makes a great short story as well. A masterpiece. (I'll just shut up now; the thrill of reading such a gem is overwhelming!).

A lot of potential here for another tale. A very good read!

that was an amazing story. thank you for sharing it. You are such a wonderdful writer. the story kept me spellbound. i love good writing. thanks so much. it was so very creative.

i agree there is more here should you choose to expand upon it. I want to know who thise people were and what they wanted to do with them. i want to know more about Dr. Tanya developing into a full person. and finally, i want to know these lovers more.

so if you do write more, I'm there.

peace

In this story there was everything , love, hate ,happiness, sadness, memories, Violence and everything . It one of the was perfect story I've read

Great character development and an amazing description of the erotic potential of parapsychology. Highly recommended.

I think there is room for considerable elaboration of this story, that is, in the details of the characters and their actions and, possibly, their individual feelings could be enlarged upon as the story unfolds. Dare I say it but their sexual activities might be described in more specific detail where appropriate! I know you mentioned, at least I think you did, that this story was not particularly about sex nevertheless it obviously plays an important part, so could be more emphasised?

Actually, on reflection, it almost seems as if the story has been cut in editing.

It is a quite powerful story line which is why I think there is potential for enlarging the text?

Michael

Sue, congrats for a terrifically imagineered storyline. Fantastic characters and believable dialogue. Very literate and very erotic.

Now this is going to sound ridiculous coming from someone who considers himself a materialist atheist but after a number of occurrences over many years I have wondered if I might have a very weak and very erratic ability.

You notice I didn't use terms such as psychic or ESP or supernatural. Based on my belief system that this Universe is fractal, consisting mostly of tediously monotonous banality. My hypothesis is that my random ability is an accidental side-effect of entangled simultaneity.

Every now and then, sometimes years in between events, I accidentally wander in the wrong direction. Whether on a whim or by mistake, I know I have done both. Then I find somebody who needs my assistance.

I cannot remember specific events over sixty years. However, Over the last ten years or so there are three events that come to mind.

First, I was at a large shopping mall and went down one of the side hallways looking for the men's toilet. By mistake, I opened a door that led into underground parking. Which locked behind me, all of a sudden I heard a loud noise and turning, saw a man and woman arguing.

He started to drag her to a car when I yelled at him and approached. He jumped in his car and pealed away. I turned to the woman to see if she wanted me to inform security when she got into her own car and fled. I'm guessing it was some sort of domestic dispute.

No CTV system in this section. So I shrugged and looked for a dark corner to piss in. Ahh, blessed relief!

Then about four years ago, after classes, on a whim cause it was a very nice day and I'd been stuck inside most of it. I took a different bus and went down to the beach and walked along to catch another.

While waiting for the bus to my street, a small crowd of other riders gathered. I did not see what happened but someone who did said a guy with a big bandage wrapped around his head collapsed and hit his head on a pillar going down.

He had been a hospital patient released that day and sent home on the bus! The bus we were waiting for showed up, the driver called for the Paramedics but he had a schedule to keep.

I volunteered to stay with the unconscious man. I wasn't on any schedule. The FDEMT showed up and took him back to the hospital he'd just been at. I caught the next bus.

The last time that stands out, was a few months after that previous event. I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking and went a couple of blocks past the store I intended to shop at.

Turning back, I saw a woman on a bicycle crash hard, fortunately onto the sidewalk out of traffic. I asked her if she was okay, I think she had minor injuries she was too embarrassed to admit to a strange man.

Fortunately she had a phone and called her husband to come get her. I stayed with her for the half-hour till he got there. I think I convinced him to take her to the clinic a mile down the road.

And that's my personal experiences, for all that information is worth, with witchy powers.

Here's me, a great ScattySue fan, and somehow I totally missed this story in the past. This is a very good borderline sf story, Sue, and I think it would make a damned fine film if somebody was to take it up. The storyline with Marie using Tanya to get at Ginnie and Freya was plausible. When I was in the military, oh so many years ago, we used to call people like Marie "The Funny Buggers" but they're not in the least funny really. Anyway, Sue, my congratulations for another great piece of work.

Brian

I am not normally a fan of breaking a story up into separate submissions, but you made it work very well with your interrupted journal approach to the story. As usual, I quickly got into your characters and story... your writing is as brilliant as ever.

Thank you

Very good indeed! I'm glad you left the sh1t out of this one, but autre pays, autre merde.

I have read all of your stories and have loved them all.

Please write some more.

Truly did not see the ending and very much enjoyed the path getting there.

J

I am saddened by the fact that this excellent and heartwarming (as usual for you) story ended this quickly and if I may quibble throwing up more questions than it answers...

An intriguing vision, great worldbuilding and enchanting characters...

Much to soon to have to leave this story... and I would happily have read another 20-30 chapters of this.

For some strange reason this series was the only one i hadn't read of yours.

So glad i popped back to see if you had submitted anything new and found this gem of a story.

Many thanks to you with much appreciation for your writing skills.

xo

Just re-read this story and enjoyed it as much as the first time. I did spot one error in the final few paragraphs: 'Daisy-May' became 'Rosie-May' which I missed the first time around. Still a great story, though.

Brian

I wasn't certain if the shift from Daisy-May to Rosie-May was an error, or if 'May' was the name they used as a "family". You know: Daisy-May, Rosie-May, Daffyd-May, Shell-May... and now Freja-May and Ginny-May! Why not? Communes have done weirder things.

I am a bit suspicious about their ability to have stayed on the road that long without at least changing the number plate on the motorbike. If MI5 was being assisted by the police, it would be very hard to stay on the run, the more so as they were two young women on a motorbike-- they do rather stand out. CCTV is a fact of life in much of Britain, and that includes petrol stations-- and the government agents will know that they are on a motorbike.

That grousing said and done, it's a brilliant story, but way too short! They've been out of sight for ten months; I can't believe that they're going to spend the rest of their lives hanging out in a commune. Ginny's an academic, and almost a Ph.D. She won't be happy weaving baskets and mucking barns. So, dear ScattySue, perhaps it is time to revisit it!

I read the story and thoroughly enjoyed it. There are too many stories on this site where little care is taken about how the story hangs together. This is belessdly free of annoying grammar etc. The point made in the first comments box about being traced is interesting. As someone who worked in the Police for over 30 years there is very little surveillance of any kind in rural areas. In my local County there are only about 4 cars with automatic number plate recognition and most uniformed officers have little interest in stopping random bikes. It is quite possible to go for months without seeing the police and that is without trying. No-one has the resources to trawl through limitless about of (mainly poor quality) CCTV. Unless they were very high profile targets I would expect them to be safe baring and unfortunate accident.

A couple of times in this story you mention 'draws' and what you really mean is 'drawers' as in 'chest of'

You write well and so far I have enjoyed a couple of your tales, I'm sure I'll enjoy more.

Apologies for the pedantry ....

I saw the Sci-Fi & Fantasy categorization and passed this series up a few times, but I kept coming back to it. Curiosity and the desire to read something different, I suppose. I'm glad I read it! If the story ever continues, I'll be back to read the rest. You should really sell this story as a series of love, romance and adventure. I'd buy it! Exceptional creativity and writing ability. Thank you for sharing.

A story of exquisite tenderness and I think your most emotionally so far, and beatifully written. The characters are so well drawn, it's as if you made them leap out from the page. Indeed, I couldn't but help feeling involved in the fortunes and misfortunes of the two principals, so eloquently do you capture their hopes and fears, their yearnings.

I was just a little bit sorry it ended so soon.

i adore you story telling . and can't wait to read more of your wonderful writing. thank you.

Once again a beautiful story with characters so real--even in this fantasy--the reader feels as though they are well known friends or acquaintances. Bravo!!

All your stories are wonderful, but this one was especially so. Please keep writing!

Sue, you continue to amaze me with your beautiful, sensitive and imaginative story-telling. At times I find a lump in my throat and a wetness in my eyes. As I was born in Scotland, I loved the dialect that you used for Freya as well as being able to connect to the whole British background. I am a 75 year old male and have been a reader all my life, so I believe I am qualified to give a opinion. As I have mentioned in a previous comment, I started using this site as a form of titillation but your writings offer far more than this. The sex actually becomes secondary. I am surprised that you are not a mainstream novelist. ( well, maybe you are ! ) As I have also previously stated, I hate it when your story comes to an end as I now have to find something equally good to read. I am afraid that no other author gives me the same reading pleasure, even from your list of favorite's Please give us more. XXX

A little masterpiece ...... The story itself and the content are fitting so perfectly and this love story feals so truly wonderful ....... More then 10 stars ......💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝

God such amazing stories. Full of love and emotion. I come on this site to make me wet not my eyes haha.

Please keep writing because you have so much love and power in your words. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Cute story, written well.

Yet another great story! Is there going to be a continuance of Ginny and Frejas story! So much further that this story could go!

Thank you again! You have a lovely way of writing!

Always beautiful stories and this is no exception, keep up the great work

iv reread this all so i wish you wrote more be happy well and safe a fan shayne