Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereThe backdrop of a cicada swarm
falls away again
to the sound in my head,
the vibration in my gut
that tells me
you're here, with me.
Still not sure what to call it,
I still believe in it,
and I still listen for you.
And we begin to sink into this thing.
How can I say "you" or "me"?
How do I ever know what is "we"?
But inconsequential words
won't help me unravel this knot.
Inconsequential deeds do not
bring to me skeptical disbelief.
Fall or fly, down or up,
and choke on the separation
and drown in the connection,
but all I ever do is listen,
to see if I can hear you.
Belief, disbelief, regret, hope,
all these little things
disappear as my head stops its spin,
and I hear you whisper,
"I love you"
all over again.
This thing is all I want.
Years of denial don't change me,
and years of dismissals
don't keep you out of me.
"I fear maybe only death
will end for us, this thing."
Tighten up the middle to the level of the bookend beginning and end and your words' impact will be truly fantastic.
Well said. I love this:
How can I say "you" or "me"?
How do I ever know what is "we"?
And your last stanza is perfect. Thanks.
opened this poem wonderfully. In the following stanzas you slipped away from the imagery that made the first stanza so strong and in doing so, the poem slipped from you showing me what you were saying to you telling me. While the unraveling knot provides an image later in the poem, it's mentioned almost in passing. I think if you work on presenting your message in images (like you did in stanza one) your good poetry would shine. A good poem...
jim : )