All Comments on 'Circus'

Not bad opener

Amidst the silent adrenalin din,

I feel them, circular, staring in,

A5, don't take it serious. keep in this vein, you'll do better.

you don't need the comma after 'staring in' and it would flow better without each line starting with a capital letter

I feel them, circular, staring in

at us, our feet churning the dust,

together alone in the ring,

hallelujer!