All Comments on 'Dark Skies'

It's an interesting story, but you might want to reconsider some of your word choices. While plain language is good, you still want the sounds of the words to be a part of your choices. Also, I'd add some punctuation - such as a final period at the end of the poem.

While I agree with the punctuation comment, I think some of the plain-wording worked very well in this piece. I especially like the "She" repetition, ("She hurt, she bled..."). I do think this poem could have had added emphasis from a few choice periods, maybe stanzas instead of punctuation. Only two poems in two years? I wish you'd write more ;) -2d

and probably happens more than we know.

Well done- great emotions.

Regards, Jack

I'll go with darkerdreamer on the punctuation issue over that of word choice. This piece tells an unusual tale that merits giving it a read, just to get you thinking and visualizing a bit.