by oneiria
sentience is a curse and blessing, but better than being dog--I suppose. This is an enjoyable piece and I can't give you any constructive feedback. I so enjoyed everything about it--the mood, pace, comparison. I feel tingly now. Thanks--this is the reason I read poetry--every so often a small jewel moves me.
I forgot...the white space in the piece--vastness, emptiness, almost a hollow feeling--makes it even better. I may just need to 'borrow' this idea.
So glad I read today--again I say--damn you friday, and now this oneiria--how the former makes my libido sing and the latter makes my head sting.
Jeez, I am poeticizin on a comment and didn't mean to.
But loaded with meaning. I am a fan of short poems and this is a beaut. Got five and a recommend.
star-cooked atoms
the loneliness is haunting, here, but it works so well when held up against the fuzzy warmth of belonging you show us with these lines:
her star-cooked atoms still one
with their mother,
you're always interesting to read.