Prince Charming

Oh love, why does he elude me?
I was born with cotton candy promises
I played with dollies and always he came to me
Tough, manly, knowing everything I didn't
In my dreams he'd pick me up from my squalid existence
Me hiding deep in my closet
Buried in old, caste off clothing
That smelled like my mother
And her passionate evenings out
Lily of the valley perfume

He would enter the closet
Smile with Colgate white perfect teeth
My fat body miraculously slim
My coke-bottle glasses and tinsel teeth
Gone to reveal the princess inside.
He'd take me down the secret steps
To where his black stallion awaited
Lift me up in front of him
An off we'd ride into a moonless night
The stars guiding us to a magical pleasure palace
Oh, there'd be tribulation on the way
He'd have to fight for my maidenhood
Protect me as no man ever could
And I'd fight by his side
We'd slay all hindrances in our path
The monsters
The goblins
The gnomes
The intolerant father
We'd scorn all who didn't understand
That this was LOVE.
He was mine and I was his
After months of trials and tribulations
We'd make it to his palace
But, what is this?
It's no palace
But a battered cottage
With a caved in room
And tumbling walls
The forest had reclaimed it.
'This is all ours my love, he whispered in my ear
It's not much but it's ours
And as soon as you get the kitchen in shape we can have hot
Meals.
And please, my feet, hurt
Could you take off my boots and rub my feet"
"Yes, gladly, my love"
I purred as I looked around the room
For a pot of hemlock