by petalsonfire
Stop trying so hard to make your poems rythm, by doing that you ruining the poem and what it is about, you have some good ideas i just don't think you're talented enough to express them in a poem. Well at least skip69 likes it so your guarenteed at least 1 vote!
A different style from your usual poems, petals, and I had to read it more than once. But then, I always read your poems more than once.