by Scorpio44a
No revenge on his brother Brad for fucking his wife?!? It’s been over two chapters, and several weeks, and there’s no mention of it since she admitted it? That was the worst betrayal of all, and he’s going to not even think about it, talk about it, or do anything about it? Absurd!!!
ZK
good but just lots of sex. need more of the mental, emotional daily lives.
Whats wrong with this chain ?
As I said in the previous chapter you open this huge can of Worms with killing a main character etc. but then you simply abandon that storyline and continue a fluffy fun and games style story. It just doesn't work!
The reader is left emotionally agitated by the bomb you just dropped on him and now he has to forget about all that and indulge in stupid erotic scenes. I don't say the erotic scenes are bad just that you should decide if you want to write a shallow but fun masturbation story or a heavy tearjerker tragedy. You can't have both in such a short Story.
I wish I had your problems.
I wouldn't be calling it a problems in the first place.
And it totally sucks that this has only 4 chapters to go.
Damn you write a great story, and one of my favorite categories too.
Enjoying your new tale and look forward to the rest.
Many events are lively and others sad. Life is like that and this journey I think will cover many aspects of life.
Thanks for time, talent and willingness to share.