All Comments on 'A Dragon's Slave Ch. 02'

you posted the introduction and chapter 2

where is chapter 1 ?

I honestly have no idea. Chapter 1 is still "pending" in my submissions. Either a site glitch or somebody made a mistake.

I really dislike ending a chapter that way

Why doesn't it burn the sensitive skin of his cock? No mention even of her being extra warm inside.

Consistency is important.

I could tell you enjoyed writing this! As I said about Ch. 01, quality in writing is always worth the effort, for the writer's enjoyment as much as for the readers'. Another 5/5.

Anonymous Number 1:

I wasn't in control of how the sentences would be spaced out. I wrote this in a word processing program (Libre Office) and then copied and pasted it into the textbox because literotica doesn't support the file format I had saved it as, and I was too lazy to save it as a different file format. I didn't plan to have two sentences on the second page, it just happened that way.

MajorRewrite:

You're absolutely correct. That is something I should have considered when writing the chapter, but consistency is a problem I've had...consistently. Pretty ironic, in all honesty.

In any case, I have thought long and hard on your comment, and I've decided to work it into the story with a legit reason as to why it didn't burn him, and it correlated with the fact that he kissed her labia majora before beginning coitus proper. Don't worry, I'll make a greater effort to be consistent in the future, and I thank you for your criticism.

Anonymous Number 2:

Thank you for the kind review, and also thank you for making me have to list you as "Anonymous Number 2" in my response.

(jk, for future reference I enjoy keeping a friendly relationship with my readers - I'm at the same level as you, and I don't plan to act like in greater than any of you in any way, ever. Unless I am.)

You should make some sort of bad ass rouge who usually wears a banana over his mouth and is a basic ninja except cooler. Maybe a bad ass double staff (a staff with blades on both ends) and a cape? possibly joining up with Peter and Nightwing?

Thoughts that I have though it might be of a cliche would be if they started to develop closer to one another than just a mistress and slave. I see the potential for that working the longer that they remain together. Other thoughts mirror some of what the others who posted have said. Basically there needs to be some sort of external conflict that faces them. Perhaps being attacked by an unknown force? It could cause more of a drive to develop Peter into one who is more akin to that of dragonkind.

By that I refer to a protective nature and perhaps finding internal strength (magical or non-magical) inside of him if things look like she is in dire danger or something like that. It could be something even as simple as perhaps one of her past mates coming into the picture and growing jealous or enraged that a human is bedding one that he had been with. From there he could perhaps find an internal courage because let's face it, he is a bit too soft and meek from what has been displayed. He seems more like an "Everyman" than someone that is involved with a mystical being. Perhaps that is what you were going for, but I think he should have a shining moment where he surprises even himself.

Also concerning the topic of conflict, perhaps going a bit with the first topical idea of a budding romance or love between Peter and Nightwing. There could be internal conflict with her, him, or even both with the feelings that they are going through if that kind of thought actually manifests into this story.

Aside from these thoughts, which I do sincerely hope is not offensive to you, I must say the story seems well written, and does not go all over the place with random topics or ideas. I can only hope you continue to do well with this and continue to develop this story into an epic series.

I loved reading your story so far. I have seen one error though, and its a small one. At first you say that Nightwing caught 2 rabbits, and Peter cooked the rabbits, but the you said "Peter wolfed down the SQUIRREL" other than that I saw nothing wrong, other than some of the things other reviewers stated.

Why do I feel that "slave" means something entirely else in draconic?