A Girl in Need Ch. 06

Second, as far as the criminal charges are concerned, we were not going to make them public, but as they are now out in the open, the girls and I have agreed that we will all give evidence against you in open court.

Third, I have supplied a copy of my journal to the Elders of the church to give them a true picture of the so called Pastor that they have admired for so long. What action they take will be up to them.

Fourth, as far as the bank taking the animals is concerned, you have me to thank for that. I ceased to make payments on the bank loan that was secured by the animals, and I hid that from you. Yes, I hate you that much. The money that wasn't paid, I have, and will use that to make sure that the girls and I make a fresh start away from you.

Lastly, and I hope the most hurtful, is this. That night that you were beating Colin Forbes out of me, you couldn't have known that part of him was growing inside me. I didn't even know myself. That's right! Ginny is Colin Forbes daughter, not yours. After she was born I vowed to myself that I would do everything in my power to avoid becoming pregnant with a child of yours. If you look at the attached DNA reports, you will see that none of the girls are yours other than by the name on their birth certificates. Their real father was Colin, the man you tried to beat out of me.

I hope that now you are feeling some of the despair that I have felt since the day I was forced to marry you, and I also hope that the judge in your eventual trial is convinced of the horror you have inflicted on us and sends you to prison for a long time. As far as the farm is concerned, I could care less what you do with it. Keep it or sell it, whatever you want. In the top drawer of your desk you will find your copy of the journal I kept. Read it and then, if you can, tell yourself that you have been a Godly husband and father

Laura"

I just made it to the kitchen sink before my meal came up. The taste in my mouth was vile, but the thoughts in my mind were worse. What could I do to save myself from disgrace? My children were not mine, my wife was divorcing me and making it public, and I was charged under the law. I thought things couldn't get any worse, but then they did. I heard a truck pull into the yard. Looking out of the window, I saw Paul Kennedy getting out of the truck. He was the Secretary Treasurer of the church. With him were three members of the Elders Committee.

Not wanting then to see the chaos in the kitchen, I asked them into the living room, where we all sat. I said to them, "Thank you for your support, Brothers. All will come clear in time, but I have temporary difficulties at this time."

Paul Kennedy was obviously the spokesman for the group. "Brother Jacobs," he began, "We have received from Mrs. Jacobs a diary detailing her suffering at your hands, and the suffering of your daughters. While the church does advocate discipline, what the diary details is a history of vicious physical and sexual abuse at your hands. Is the diary correct?"

"I can't say, I have never read it. I have only just received a copy"

"Have you repeatedly beaten your wife and daughters?'

"Yes, I believed it was my right, as husband, father and Pastor."

"Brother Jacobs, have you at any time indulged in sexual acts with your daughters?"

"I'm advised they are not my daughters."

"Brother Jacobs, let us not quibble over semantics. You have never failed to talk of them as your daughters. Have you or have you not had sex with two underage girls while believing them to be of your own blood?"

"Yes, I had every right to, and I have!"

Kennedy looked at each of the Elders, and they all nodded their heads and said, "Yes."

"Brother Jacobs, this morning I communicated the complaints against you to the Bishop. He has given the elders of the church the power to excommunicate you if they find the complaints substantiated. As we have so found, you are hereby excommunicated from the Church and, in addition to not being allowed in any of our churches, you will be officially Shunned by members of this Church. You are no longer a member of this Church. The members of the Church in this area will be advised of our decision by the end of the day

They got up and filed out. As the last Elder reached the door, he turned, looked at me and deliberately spat on the floor. I couldn't believe it; I had no support left in the world. The one thing that I had relied on in my life, my Church, was no longer there for me.

I knelt to pray for support from my God, but felt that I was speaking into an empty room. My faith was gone, a major reason for my life was no longer there.

I went through to the study and took Laura's Journal from the drawers. For the next two hours I read through a litany of beatings, sexual wrongs and the wishes of my family for a normal life without me. I felt absolutely lost. That diary could not have been about me, but I truly knew that it was. I had carried my father's methods to discipline me into my own life and, in the process, had turned into a beast that my family could not stand. The life I thought I had was gone; everything that defined me had been taken away from me. It was then that I realized how I was responsible for my own downfall. My rigid and unbending treatment of my family and my obsession with sex had ensured that the life I thought was perfect was, in fact, wrong. I knew then that I would never go back to that particular hell of a jail.

There was only one decent thing that I could do. I brought Laura's letter and the DNA reports into my study. Sitting at my desk, I took out some paper and began to write.

Ontario Provincial Police

Attention: Corporal Rogers

To be continued...