All Comments on 'A Jedi's Training Ch. 16'

Can't wait for the next chapter, very nicely written story.

Now, there was an extremly long wait from the last one again. Though, as this one is twice as long as any other one you had before, it can be seen as appropiate. However.

Your writing style has changed subtly. Vocabulary, structure, dialouge, all have subtle changes. I honestly can not say that are good changes. I would definently say there was a degression in this chapter of the series.

Another thing. This chapter introduces the sudden changes never seen before in the previous installments of this series. Unnecissarily fast and quite sudden changes in dialouge, plot, or things uncharacteristic to the characters previous actions. Never before in your other chapters have i seen this, yet, in this chapter, i could see no less than three times, these changes.

You may want to do a bit more editting and proofreading next time before you release.

Also, many things in this chapter felt very rushed, or forced. It would have been much better to have broken this chapter into two seperate chapters, and elaborate and make smoother transitions in each part.

All that said, I'm quite a critic. However, I still enjoyed this chapter immensely. Keep writing and hope those personal problems you've been having work out.

With all the sex that's gone on, and all the betrayals and pain Jacen and Eryn have gone through, the conclusion of this chapter couldn't have come sooner. That said, I would have preferred to have seen Jacen do the thinking he told Eryn he needed to do while she was alone in her room. To decide as quickly as he did... seems contrary to his character. While his apology was warranted, and finally fell upon welcome ears, I'm used to Jacen being the protagonist of the story, and this chapter seemed to have sorely neglected him. Despite my criticisms, I still loved it, and look forward to any and all forthcoming chapters. Hopefully you're not done with Jacen and Eryn, just because of the conclusion to this chapter!

Everyone has been saying they didn't like this as much as the others, but I liked it more. The sex was still very hot, but what I really enjoyed was the storyline. You really know how to tell a story and it shows. This is my favorite literotica series and I like the characters a lot. I also thought it was a very nice conclusion for Jacen and Eryn to both finally admit that they love each other. Hot sex, and sweet storyline. Keep it up.

I didn't think this was that kind of story!

Yes, in my opinion this chapter had the best sex, very hot with the whole revenge thing and how that was settled. I need not say more than, "This was my favorite chapter."