All Comments on 'A Natural Occurrence in Seclusion'

... but terribly over-written. Less is more. Show don't tell.

Nice dialog and use of language to go along with a good story line. This could be expanded into several chapters.

She had unzipped his jeans. A few paragraphs later, he was unbuttoning his button-fly jeans.

When he brought the candles in, he turned off the lights. Then, during the storm, the lights went out.